动物管制官（2023）

Animal Control S01E07

Part 3 May 6, 2023, 5:26 p.m.

这不是编造的。
It's not made up.
好吧,我不能回家。女孩的沉睡派对！
Well I can't go home. The girl's slumber party!
哦,是的。我们一直在社交媒体上关注它。
Oh yeah. We've been following it on social media.
凯特琳和露西尔的事情到了尽头
The Kaitlyn and Lucile thing came to a head
猜猜罗斯最终去了哪裡？
and guess where Rose ended up?
是的。
Yep.
在外面。- 出局。
On the outs. - The outs.
好。好吧,如果你打算留下来
Alright. Well, if you are going to stay
那麽我们都需要醇厚和冷静。
then we all need to be mellow and chill.
还行。
Ok.
有多冷？
How chill?
就像,嗯...就像棋盘游戏一样。
Like, um... Like board game chill.
听起来很棒。切碎,去准备葬礼。
Sounds great. Shred, go and prepare the funeral.
为了嗡嗡声？- 为了嗡嗡声。
For the buzz? - For the buzz.
炸薯条？
French fry?
撒上泻药？不,谢谢。
Sprinkled with laxatives? No thanks.
如果它掺有泻药
If it was laced with laxatives
我不会给你拿你自己的包吗？
wouldn't I have gotten you your own bag?
你告诉我。放样真的很突然
You tell me. The stakeout was really sudden
所以你可能会有很多危险的想法在工作中
so you could have a ton of dangerous ideas in the works
但没有机会仔细考虑它们。
but not had a chance to think them through.
你怎麽了？
What is wrong with you?
你为什麽如此痴迷于恶作剧
Why are you so obsessed with pranks
当处于接收端时,对你来说显然是一种折磨。
when being on the receiving end is clearly torture for you.
我不痴迷。
I'm not obsessed.
这隻是我一直在做的事情。
It's just something I've always done.
在部队,与兄弟一起成长。
Being on the force, growing up with brothers.
去烟花很方便。
Easy access to fireworks.
这不是我的理论。
It's not my theory.
你有理论吗？
You got a theory?
我愿意。这是一个简单的问题,但是是的。
I do. It's a simple one, but yeah.
好的。 - 你有亲密关係问题。
Ok. - You have intimacy issues.
恶作剧是让人们保持距离的一种方式。
And pranks are a way to keep people at arms length.
亲密关係问题？-是的。
Intimacy issues? - Yeah.
多麽可悲。这隻是纯粹的投影。
How sad. It's just pure projection.
这是非常懒惰的员警工作,桑兹警官。
It's very lazy police work, Officer Sands.
好吧,这不是投影。
Ok, that is not projection.
我每周亲密两到三次。
I get intimate two to three times a week.
有时在夏季更多。
Sometimes more in summer months.
也许这不是真正的亲密关係
Maybe it's not actual intimacy
只是你试图填补一口无底洞的需求。
and it's just you trying to fill a bottomless well of need.
哦,哇。基蒂有爪子。
Oh, wow. Kitty got claws.
看,放样可以变得非常真实
Look, stakeouts can get pretty real
它们可以是强大的时刻...
and they can be powerful moments...
请别说了。我不想说话。
Please stop talking. I don't want to talk.
我冻僵了。这东西没有热量吗？
And I'm freezing. Doesn't this thing have heat?
是的,就在这裡。
Yeah, right here.
知道了！哦,我的天哪！
Got ya! Oh, my gosh!
这甚至比计划的还要好。
That went even better than planned.
滑石？这就是大恶作剧？
Talc? That's the big prank?
你应该看到你的脸。
You should see your face.
你知道,如果我能看到它,
You know, if I could see it,
那将是一种深深的失望的表情
it would be a look of profound disappointment
因为,选美在哪裡？
because, where's the pageantry?
错综複杂的规划在哪裡？
Where the intricate planning?
应该有蜜蜂从通风口出来。
There should be bees coming out of the vent.
是的,我知道这是老派,但你没有看到它的到来。
Yeah, I know it's old school but you didn't see it coming.
时间在。启动时钟。
Time in. Start the clock.
来吧。
Here we go.
你是个溷蛋。
You're a jackass.
好的,这会很有趣。
Ok, this is gonna be so much fun.
每个人都有他们的茶吗？
Does everyone have their tea?
耶。
Yay.
我将不得不在这个顶针上打电♥话♥。
I am gonna have to call dibs on this thimble.
哦。我一直是一个独轮车的人。
Oh. I've always been a wheelbarrow man.
真？- 嗯。
Really? - Mmhmm.
我们与这种音乐的结合程度如何？
How married are we to this music?
是的,这是,呃,民间吗？电梯民？
Yeah, is this, uh, folk? Elevator folk?
这是一回事吗？-这是什麽？
Is that a thing? - What is it?
这是恢复频道的播放清单。
It's a playlist off the restorative channel.
好吧,我正在与11年的育儿疲惫作斗争
Well, I'm battling 11 years of parenting exhaustion
我在这裡需要一些刺♥激♥。
and I'm gonna need some stimulus here.
喝点茶,兄弟。
Have some tea, bro.
是的,在你身上种一些蒲公英。
Yeah, get some dandelion up in you.
很好,对吧？-是的。
It's good, right? - It is.
天啊。
Oh god.
再过十秒！
Just ten more seconds!
2:53, 2:54... 2:55-
2:53, 2:54...2:55-
呸！
Ugh!
你一定是在跟我开玩笑。
You have got to be kidding me.
这隻鸟很好。
This bird is good.
嘿,呃,对不起需要评论的无底井。
Hey, uh, sorry about the bottomless well of need comment.
我没有资格因为你想享受你的生活而敲打你。
I have no business knocking you for wanting to enjoy your life.
我玩得很开心。但它确实让人筋疲力尽。
I have fun. But it does get exhausting.
第二天早上醒来,我非常可怜。
I've been waking up pretty wretched the morning after.
这就是所谓的宿醉,
That's called a hangover,
而且随着年龄的增长,它们只会变得更糟。
and they only get worse when you get older.
你知道,我总是给你废话你的年龄。
You know, I always give you crap about your age.
嗯。
Hm.
但我甚至不认为你老了。
But I don't even see you as old.
好的,随便。
Ok. Whatever.
我需要咖♥啡♥因♥,
I need caffeine,
所以我要去拐角处的加油站
so I'm gonna head around the corner to the gas station
给我们喝杯咖啡。
and get us a coffee.
是的,是的,听起来不错,菜鸟。
Yeah, yeah that sounds pretty good, rookie.
当。波罗的海大道再次出现。
Dang. Baltic Ave again.
哦。派特尔,我欠你更多的房♥租。
Oh. Patel, I owe you more rent.
派特尔？
Patel?
毫米。
Mm.
嘿。嘿。
Hey. Hey.
好吧,他就像完全睡着了一样。
Ok, he's like totally asleep.
可怜的傢伙像陀螺一样跑来跑去,只是把自己拉出来。
Poor guy ran around like a top and just tuckered himself out.
你知道,他实际上是一个非常有趣的人。
You know, he's actually a really fun guy.
好吧,也许他仍然可以很有趣。
Well, maybe he can still be fun.
你在想什麽？
What are you thinking?
好吧,我对他很生气
Well, I am annoyed at him
他放弃了照顾你的球
that he dropped the ball on taking care of you
而他沉睡的深度是,嗯...一个机会。
and the depth of his slumber is, um... an opportunity.
艾米丽中间名价格。你有什麽想法？
Emily Middle Name Price. What'd you have in mind?
额头上的大L？
A big L on the forehead?
你知道吗？我会给你一个惊喜。
You know what? I'm gonna surprise you.
还有你。
And you.
啊。。。呸。。。啊。。。
Ah... Ugh... Ah...
拜託。醒醒,腿。来吧。
Oh, come on. Wake up, leg. Come on.
什麽？
What?
你是埃比尼泽·道金斯吗？
Are you Ebeneezer Dawkins?
我是动物控制部门的弗兰克·肖。
I'm Frank Shaw with Animal Control.
你有身份证吗？
Do you have some ID?
确定。
Sure.
你能跟我一起去吗？
Could you come with me?
这是怎麽回事？
What's going on?
现在不要激动,我正在努力説明你。
Now don't get agitated, I'm trying to help you.
好的,啊,哦。又来了。
Ok. Ah, ooh. There it is again.
啊！我不能再坐那麽久了。
Ah! I can't sit for that long anymore.
今晚早些时候发佈了银色警报
There was a silver alert put out earlier this evening
对于埃比尼泽·道金斯
for an Ebeneezer Dawkins
将您的描述与可能失智相匹配
matching your description with possible dementia
谁从老年人中心徘徊。
who wandered off from a seniors centre.
看看我的身份证就知道了。
Just look at my ID.
是的,就是你,埃比尼泽·道金斯。
Yeah, that's you, Ebeneezer Dawkins.