动物管制官（2023）

交♥配♥季来了 施莱德
It's mating season, Shred.
鸟儿在空中交欢 公蛙粘在母蛙身上
Birds do it mid-air, frogs attached to other frogs,
还有动物顶着垃圾桶泄欲
a lot of dumpster humping.
空气中弥漫着爱意
Love is in the air.
爱根本不存在
Love doesn't exist.
你还在为艾米丽的事苦恼吗
Are you still moaning about Emily?
这都好几个月了
It's been months.
她撕碎了我的心 弗兰克
She blew up my heart, Frank.
你俩都没在一起过
You weren't even together.
难以置信她选择了里克
Well, I can't believe she chose Rick.
你都没向她表白过
You never even told her you liked her.
好吧 要说遗憾我是有的
Yeah, well, regrets, I have a few!
你够了 出去
Alright, that's it. Get out.
我现在心情很好 不想被你破坏
I'm in a rare good mood and you're bringing me down.
快出去
Get out.
我才不出去呢 好吗
I'm not getting out, ok?
我已经过了试用期 我们现在是搭档了
I'm not on probation, we are now partners.
今非昔比了
Things have changed.
但我是高级搭档 所以我说了算
Well, I'm a senior partner so I make the rules.
出去
Get out.
根据局里规定 根本没有高级搭档
Senior partner is not a recognized category
这一说
according to department regulations.
我查过了
I checked.
局里还规定
Regulations also state
制♥服♥必须保持干净整洁
that you have to have a stain-free uniform.
幼稚
Childish.
没错 是很幼稚 但也相当爽
Yeah, it's childish and deeply satisfying.
所有可用单位
All available units,
收到报♥警♥ 卡彭街21号♥的保龄球馆里有浣熊
report of raccoons in a bowling alley, 21 Capen Street.
12号♥车响应 两分钟后到达
Truck 12 responding, two minutes out.
友情提醒 浣熊好像喝醉了
Word of caution: the raccoons appear to be inebriated.
这就有趣了
That's kind of fun.
他们是从空调管道进来的 然后找到了吧台
They came in through the A/C duct and hit the bar.
这些家伙都满21岁了么
These guys all 21?
这场面跟极限运动会的庆功派对有点像
Yeah, this reminds me of the X Games afterparty,
除了浣熊少点
but with less raccoons.
这些家伙都满18岁了么
These guys all 18?
弗兰克已经用过这个梗的美国版了
Frank already made the American version of that joke.
不错
Nice.
哦天呐 各位 他是在
Oh god. Guys, is he...
满足某种恋物癖吗
Satisfying a very specific fetish?
欢迎来到交♥配♥季 各位
Welcome to mating season, everyone.
所以我都自己带球
This is why I own my own ball.
哇 好吧
Woah! Alright.
咱们把这些垃圾熊猫弄上车
Let's get these trash pandas in the truck.
这位小朋友请上23号♥球道
I want my little friend in lane 23.
好的 浣熊
Ok, raccoon.
知道吗
You know what?
这样我们得填一堆文件 还很不人道
It's a lot of paperwork and wildly inhumane.
走吧 我让你你朝施莱德扔一个
Come on, I'll let you throw a ball at Shred.
但这不一样
It's not the same.
施莱德 你看到了吗
Shred, you seeing this?
－得搞几个硬币 －是啊
We need quarters. -Yeah.
你有硬币吗
Do you have quarters? -Uh...
游戏厅里还有更多只
There's more in the arcade.
你负责抓娃娃机 我负责游戏厅
You get the claw. I got the arcade.
如果厨房♥还开着 让他们开始开火吧
If the kitchen's open tell 'em to start frying.
我出来后会很饿的
I'm coming back hungry.
嘿 小家伙
Hey, little buddy.
想打高分么
Going for a high score?
我要订这个带私人热水浴的套房♥鸣
Oooh. Should I book the suite with the private hot tub?
还是不要了
Probably not.
太晚了 已经订满了
Too late, it's booked.
在考艾岛度过七个美好日夜
Seven glorious days and nights in Kauai.
虽然是在多雨的那面 但这价格还挺合适
It's on the rainy side but I got a good deal.
抱歉 孕妇能泡热水澡吗
Sorry, can a pregnant woman even go in a hot tub?
可以泡 可以浅浅泡到小腿中部
Yeah, she can do a light soak up to the mid-calf.
哦 真幸运
Oh, lucky her.
宝宝月不只是为了犒劳妈妈
A Baby Moon is not just for the mother.
但脏活累活都是她干的呀
Yeah, but she's doing all the hard work.
你从下面挤出什么来了吗
What're you pushing out of your vagina?
她什么都没订 也没计划过
She booked none of this, no planning.
酒店 滑索 按♥摩♥ 都是我订的
The hotel, the zip-line, the massages, that was all me.
我需要休个假 好吗
I need a vacation, ok? It's just--
这次怀孕真的 要把我折腾死了
This pregnancy is just... It's killing me.
瞧瞧这个家伙
Look at this guy.
你和里克没养狗吧
You and Rick didn't get a dog, did you?
那就意味着
'Cause that'd be--
这是一个很大的承诺
That's-- I mean, that's a big commitment.
没养 他是我在停车场发现的
No, I found him wandering in the parking lot.
我给他做个扫描 看能不能找到他家人
I'm gonna get him scanned, see if I can find his family.
好吧 祝你好运
Oh, ok. Well um, good luck.
他超级可爱吧 好了 回头见
He's super cute. Alright, see you around.
没错 你就继续望眼欲穿吧
Oh yeah, just keep staring longingly.
这样就能追到她了
That'll get it done.
哦 别移开目光 这会打破魔咒
Oh, don't break eye contact. It'll break the spell.
真希望他能找到一个家
I hope he finds a home
这样就不用受你惊吓了
so he don't get creeped out by you anymore.
他没有被吓到
He wasn't creeped out.
对了 忘告诉你们了 我和维多利亚看到了阿肯色
Hey, I forgot to tell you, Victoria and I got Arkansas.
我们累计有46个车牌了 遥遥领先了
That's 46 license plates for us which puts us in the lead.
阿肯色
Arkansas?
不可能
No, you didn't.
是真的 因为我之前一直
We totally did, because up until now
以为它的发音是阿肯萨斯
I thought it was pronounced "Ar-kansas"
其实不是 我蛮困惑为啥不这么叫
It's not, and I'm very confused as to how it's not.
所以你们是碰巧忘了告诉大家
And you just happened to forget to tell us
你们看到了最罕见的车牌
that you got one of the most elusive license plates,
比波多黎各或美属萨摩亚还难得吗
only topped by a plate from Puerto Rico or American Samoa?
你是说我们是骗了
Are you calling us liars?
对 说谎的骗子
I'm calling you lying sacks of liars.
好吧 我不喜欢骗子这词 但感觉
Yeah, and I don't like to use the L word but right now
你俩感觉都在吹牛
both of your pants are on fire.
好的 新规则
Ok, new rule.
光看到车牌不算数 还要附上一张
The license plate does not count unless it is accompanied
从警车里拍的照片
by a photo taken from inside the truck.
因为我再重复一次 下流肮脏的骗子
Because, again, dirty, lousy liars.
我会拍照片的
I'll take the photos.
好 大家听好了
Alright, everyone, listen up.
行吧 你的小气根本影响不到我
Hey, your smallness? It has no effect on me.
两周之后我就漫步在热带小岛的
In two weeks I'm gonna be lounging on the beach
沙滩之上了
in a tropical paradise.
对了 说到沙滩
Hey, speaking of the beach-
没错 你会被淋个落汤鸡的 小气鬼
Yeah. You'll be soaking in the rain, tight wad.
时断时续的阵雨还挺可爱的
Intermittent showers. It's actually lovely.
她刚说 大家都听着
She said "listen up"
谢谢贝塔尼 接下来就交给我吧
Thanks, Bettany. Um, I can take it from here.
嗯嗯 你大胆说
Alright. The floor is yours.
实际上 我有个小小的想法
Ok. Um, actually, one small thought.
我知道你才刚做了几周前台
I know you've just been our receptionist for a few weeks,
你表现不错 能力过人
you're doing so great. You go above and beyond,
但有时候 你会有点做过头了
um, but sometimes it's like you go above and beyond
能力太过了
above and beyond.
哦 收到
Oh, copy.
你桌子上放了小点心
Egg bites are on your desk.
好的
Ok.
大家在保龄球馆干得不错
Um, tremendous job at the bowling alley.
我知道大家有时会忘记 我们的工作
I know it's easy to forget but what we do here
对这座城市至关重要
is vital to the city.
还有帕特尔 你得去打♥针♥狂犬病疫苗
And Patel, you should probably get a rabies shot.