小学风云（2021）

I put into my e- mails?
你们都不尊重我情绪劳动的吗
Have you no respect for my emotional labor?
可你要的反馈太多 -太多了
You just ask for so much feedback. Oh. So much.
芭布每小时只能打一个句子
And Barb's typing speed is a sentence per hour.
她一天哪有那么多时间
There isn't enough time in the day.
听着 我们要是想刻薄
Okay, look, if we were trying to be mean,
早就会告诉你 你的邮件又臭又长
we would say that your e- mails are super- long and boring,
读起来就是浪费生命 别再发了
add zero value to our lives, and please stop sending them.
－我们那么做是出于好心 -是的
We're being nice! Ava: Yeah.
好心 人工智能不可能有好心
Nice? A. I. cannot be nice.
好好好
Okay. Okay. Okay.
我能理解你的不高兴
I can see where this would be upsetting.
我们很抱歉
We're sorry.
我们不会再生成邮件了
No more generative e- mails. Mnh- mnh.
我们会尽最大努力回复你
And we will do our best to respond.
谢谢 -是的
Thank you. Yes.
只回复那些不冗长无聊的
To the ones that aren't super- long and boring.
嘿 格里戈里
Hey, Gregory. Um...
我正要给你发短♥信♥
I was just about to text you,
但我猜你已经听说了
but I'm guessing you heard already.
所以你知道亚历克斯·珀金斯的事了
So you already know about Alex Perkins?
亚历克斯·珀金斯 我班的学生
Alex Perkins? From my class?
他怎么了 一切都好吗
What's going on with him? Everything okay?
是啊 他一直没来上课
Oh, um, yeah. He hasn't been coming to class.
已经缺勤九次了 再缺一次
He has nine absences. One more- -
他就要接受法庭的逃课听证会 留级一年
He has to go to truancy court and he gets held back a year.
是啊 你能想象一个二年级学生
Yeah. Can you imagine having to go to court
出庭听证么
as a second grader?
天啊 怎么会这样
Oh, my God. How is this happening?
这不像他的性格
This is very out- of- character for him
一定是出什么事了 -我知道
Something must be going on. I know. Um...
我们刚得知他家就在街对面
We just found out he lives right across the street.
我想去他家看看
I was thinking about going to his house.
我们不能去学生家里
We cannot go to his house.
这完全违反了学区政策
I mean, that's strictly against district policy.
按照规程 我们只能打电♥话♥
The protocol says we call.
是啊 我们遵循了全套学区规程
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went through all the district protocols.
然后打电♥话♥到他家 是他奶奶接的电♥话♥
I then called his house, I spoke to his grandma,
我说三句她只能听懂一句
who I think heard one of every three words I said,
但他奶奶的确说 他不来上学
but his grandma did say that he's not coming to school
是因为他想念之前那位老师
because he misses his old teacher.
也就是我
That's me.
或者是我 -或者是我
Or me. Or me.
好吧
Okay.
我觉得放学后
Um, so, I was thinking that after school,
我们可以见个面
we could get together,
去他家看看发生了什么事
go to the house, see what's going on.
雅各布
Jacob. Ah.
我真正的朋友
One of my real friends.
你永远不会用机器人回我的
You'd never use a robot.
说得对
You re damn right.
我想告诉你 我还在热切等回复我那篇
I wanted you to know I'm eagerly awaiting your feedback
春季大扫除历史的最新通讯
on my latest newsletter about the history of spring cleaning.
哦 对 我
Oh. Yeah. I was, um...
我整个周末都在拜读呢
I was working all weekend on that.
我很快会写篇详评给你
You shall have my detailed response soon.
太好了 希望我写的每一段
Great. For every paragraph I wrote,
你都能回复至少三段以上
I expect at least three paragraphs back.
我们阿伯特小学对老师要求很高
We here at Abbott hold our teachers to a high standard.
因此 我们的选拔过程也很严格
Therefore, we will be conducting a rigorous selection process
以保证把机会给到最合格的教育工作者
to ensure that only the most qualified educator gets the job.
说到这儿
Having said that,
请身高在1米65以下的出列
if you are 5'5" and under, please step forward.
你们可以走了
You are dismissed,
如果你做事积极进取 未雨绸缪
If you are a go- getter who is always prompt,
请出列
please step forward.
谢谢 你们可以走了
Thank you. You are dismissed.
恭喜你进入了最后一轮
Congratulations on making it to the final round.
你只要答对一个问题 就能得到这份工作
You are only one question away from landing this job.
你有豆胶糖腰带吗
Do you own a jelly- bean belt?
认真地吗 走吧
Seriously? lDismissed!
叫下一波人进来
Send in the next batch.
记住 在任何情况下都不能进入学生家中
Okay, so, under no circumstances do we enter the house.
毕竟我们已经
We're already, you know,
游走在学区政策的边缘了
pushing the boundaries of district policy.
是啊 直接找上家门已经很冒犯了
Right. Going up to the door is already bad enough.
我们不能再越界了
We don't want to cross any more lines.
没错 一跟奶奶解释完情况的严重性
Exactly. We'll just explain the gravity of the situation
我们就撤
to Grandma, be on our way.
好主意 -是的
Sounds good. Yes.
哦 你们是来修冰箱的吗？
Oh. You here to fix the refrigerator?
哦不 冰箱出什么问题了
Oh, no. What's wrong with the refrigerator?
冰箱哪哪儿都是问题
What's not wrong with the fridge?
不不 我们不是为了而来的
Gregory: No, no, we're not here for that. Oh.
是的 我是学区的珍妮·提格斯
Yes. I'm Janine Teagues from the school district,
这是阿伯特小学的格雷戈里·埃迪 -你好
and this is Gregory Eddie from Abbott Elementary. Hello.
我们是想来告诉你 您孙子亚历克斯
And we came to let you know that your grandson, Alex,
再缺勤一次就要留级了
is one absence away from being held back.
他很好啊
He's fine.
他在屋里看《价格竞猜》呢
He's inside watching"The Price Is Right. "
这有什么大不了的
That ain't never hurt nobody.
但他要是明天或是本学年再缺一次勤
Um, but he won't be fine if he misses class tomorrow- -
那就不妙了
or another day this year.
这种记过是会
There will be repercussions
影响他余生的
that will affect him for the rest of his life.
我年轻的时候 学可以想上就上
Back in my day, we came to school when we could,
我们不都过得挺好的
and we all turned out just fine.
好吧 但现在的情况不一样了
Right. But that won't work here.
这是件很严肃的事
Oh. This is a very serious matter.
不然我们也不会来了
We wouldn't be here otherwise.
所以 拜托了 你能确保
So, please, could you just make sure
亚历克斯来上课吗
that Alex makes it to class?
我只是不懂逼孩子
Well, I just don't see the point
去他讨厌的地方有啥意义
in making the boy go somewhere he hates so bad
他明明可以待在家里 陪我和德鲁·凯里嘛
when he can stay home and just hang out with me and Drew Carey.
珍妮 我觉得咱们该走了
Janine, I think it's time to go.
－还有罗娜 -嗨
Carey: And Rona. Hi.
1100美元 - 1100美元
Rona: $1, 100. $1, 100...
其实 我们能进去吗
Actually, can we come inside?
哈 -当然
Huh? - Sure.
但在“展示对决”环节时
But don't be making no guesses
不要随便猜价格
during Showcase Showdown.
你要把答案放在心里
You keep them to yourself.
好吧
Okay.
珍妮 -格雷戈里
Janine? Gregory.
接下来是价格大转盘
Announcer: You're gonna be playing Plinko!
亚历克斯 我们想问问 你为什么不来上学
Alex, we want to know why you haven't been coming to school.
我会错过价格大转盘的
I'm gonna miss Plinko. ...thousand dollars!
亚历克斯 听我说
Alex. Hey.
这就对了
Carey: Yes! There you go!
告诉我们出什么事了
Tell us what's been going on.
提格斯老师不来学校
Well, Ms. Teagues doesn't go to school,
所以我也不用去了
so Idon't need to go, either.
亚历克斯 不管我在不在学校
Alex, you have to go to school
你得去上学 好吗
whether I'm there or not, okay?
谁都不能不去上学 -你就不去啊
School is something you cannot miss. You do.
你什么时候再回来做我的老师
When are you coming back to be my teacher again?
很好 好消息是
Well, that's the good news.
提格斯老师学区的工作已经接近尾声
Ms. Teagues is almost done at the district,
她很快就会回到阿伯特了
so she'll be back at Abbott very soon.
你不会生了病还来我家吧