小学风云（2021）

快看这个新来的代课老师
Check out the new sub. Oof.
小领结 不是好兆头
Little bow tie. That does not bode well.
我不敢苟同
Uh, I beg to differ.
你知道打领结有多难吗
You know how hard it is to tie one of those?
这家伙今天努力克服了一次
That man has already persevered once today.
我觉得他有两下子
I think he got this.
早上好 兄弟 -好吧
Grand rising, brother...AlI right.
姐妹
sister...Mm.
还有女士
and ma'am.
我是伊森·乔伊纳 二年级的代课老师
I'm Ethan Joyner, subbing for the second grade.
谢谢你能过来
Thanks for coming in.
你的教室就在走廊左拐第一间
You'll be right down the hall and on the left
好的 谢谢你
Okay. Thank you.
到不了午餐前
He will be selling bean pies
他就会在熙熙攘攘的车流中卖♥♥豆饼了
betwixt lanes of traffic before lunch.
我赌五块 他撑不到课间休息
Five bucks that he's gone by the end of recess.
哟呵 格雷戈里今天需要一场胜利
You know what? Gregory really needs a win today.
赌就赌 -好嘞
I'll take that bet. All right.
我刚闻到一股
I just smelled a smelly smell
闻所未闻的臭味 而且
that I've never s- smelled before, and- -
门把手好粘啊
and the doorknobs are so sticky!
差点粘掉了我几个指纹
I think I just lost a couple fingerprints.
我忘了
I forgot.
我的梦想其实是当律师
I actually want to be a lawyer.
但孩子们还没来呢
But the kids ain't even here yet.
竟然是领夹
It's a clip- on!
一场真正的领结骗局 嗯哼
A real bow- tie bamboozle. Mm- hmm.
今晚想去红宝石酒吧喝一杯吗
You want to get a drink at Rubies tonight?
好的 同意
Uh, yeah. I'm down.
你们昨天没去塞布丽娜酒吧吗
Did y'all not check out Sabrina's yesterday?
去了啊 -你们没提我名字吗
Oh, we did. Yeah. Did you mention my name?
是啊 员工们的反应非常激烈
Yeah. The staff had a really loaded reaction.
但我敢说你们不用付账
Bet you didn't have to pay, though.
金钱上是不用 但情感上就不好说了
Monetarily? No. Emotionally, however...
你最近真成交际花了
You know, you're a real social butterfly lately.
让我想起了自己当年为了逃避问题
Takes me back to when I used to stay out all night
在外夜夜笙歌♥的曰子
to avoid my problems.
但那是上周的事了
But that was last week.
老嫂子风光不减
Old gal still got it, huh?
我是说小妹子
I mean young maiden.
这就是我们的风格 老梅儿
Hey, that's how we roll, Mel Mel.
搞砸了 再救回来
Dudin' it up. Blokin it back
打个哈哈
Bro- ing it down.
认真地吗
Really?
我们以前是三个火枪手
Mr. Johnson: We used to be the Three Musketeers.
现在只剩我一个了
But now Im one musketeer,
这俩狗崽子啥活动都不邀请我
and they re just two that don't invite me to things.
嘿 你好吗
Hey, there. How you doing?
我是梅丽莎·谢门提
I'm Melissa Schemmenti.
另一个二年级老师
I'm the other second grade teacher,
就想过来打个招呼
so I just wanted to pop over and say hi
让你知道我就在对面
and let you know I'm right across the hall
谢谢 -万一你需要什么的话
Thanks. in case you need anything.
好的 我这边也不该有问题
Okay. I doubt I'll have any issues.
我也曾是个孩子 对付十几个我还是小意思
I used to be a kid. I think I can handle a dozen me's.
但你知道 这是所公立学校
Well, you know, this is a public school,
所以会有30多个你
so there's gonna be like 30 of youse there.
30个
Thirty?
也就是10人3组
That's three groups of ten.
你已经有资格在这里教课了
Hey, you're qualified to take classes here.
谢谢你来看我 -没事
Yeah. Well, thanks for checking in. Yeah.
我会是这里有史以来最好的临时工
I'm gonna be the best temp these parts have ever seen.
你是指代课老师吧
You mean sub.
对 就是指代课老师
I did mean sub. Yeah.
但不是所有人都能记住那个特定的词
But not all of us can remember the right words every time.
你当代课老师多久了
Um, how long you been a sub?
从我拿到礼品卡
Ever since I got my gift card- -
礼品券 教师资格证就考开始了
gift certificate- teaching certificate.
教书 感觉像是上天的恩赐
Teaching...feels like a gift.
好的 同学们 今天表现不错
Okay, y'all. Good job today.
记住 练习比家庭作业更重要
And remember, practicing is more important than your homework.
你们老师如果有异议
And if any of your teachers disagree,
我可以解雇他们的
Ican and will fire them.
这个体育馆希望能让大家满意
Well, I hope the gym is to everyone's liking.
这里的音响效果很不错
I find the acoustics to be delicious.
霍华德教友 稍加练习
Well, Sister Howard, with a little practice,
我们的声音会比你的口红还鲜亮
our voices will ring louder than that lipstick of yours.
我们教堂的唱诗班要在学校体育馆排练
My church choir is going to be rehearsing in the school gym
因为教堂排练室长了霉菌
because they found mold in the church rehearsal room.
所以我大发慈悲 让她们来用
So I'm graciously letting them use
新命名的艾娃·科尔曼纪念休育馆
the freshly named Ava Coleman Memorial Coliseum
以一个昂贵但挺合理的租金
for a very reasonable yet expensive price.
好了 唱诗班
AlI right, choir.
即将宣布胜利之爱音乐会的
The announcement of the closing number
闭幕曲日
for the Triumphant Love Concert.
经过慎重考虑和协商
After careful deliberation and consultation,
我们决定演唱《束缚》
we are going to sing Shackles. "
哦 想想看
Oh! Just imagine
一个女人要同时演绎两个玛丽
One woman will harness the power of two Marys!
说得对 霍华德修女 没错
Right you are, Sister Howard. Yes!
我们都知道 只有一个女人
And we all know there's only one woman
能用歌♥声让我们置身于悠扬的牧场
who can lead us through those melodious pastures. Yes.
希拉
Sheila!
恭喜你 希拉 -额
Congratu lations, Sheila. Ava: Ooh, ooh.
你们听过《束缚》和《酣畅淋漓》
Have y'all heard the mash- up
的混音吗
between "Shackles"and"Poundtown"?
你们都想不到她是解开了什么枷锁
You are not gonna believe what she took the shackles off of.
猜猜看
Guess.
啊 我喜欢这里
Ah! I love it here!
就像《欢乐酒店》一样 只不过没人知道我的名字
It's like"Cheers"- - except nobody knows my name.
嘿 我要去结账了
Hey. I'm gonna go close out.
这就结账了 别这样朋友
Oh, close out? Not so fast, mon frere.
我想再喝一轮
I'm trying to get another round!
喝水就行 这里的酒有点贵
Of water. The drinks here are a wee bit pricy.
明天还要上课 你不觉得有点晚了吗
Don't you think it's getting a little late for a school night?
没关系
It's okay.
我明天多喝点咖啡就好
I will caffeinate to the gods tomorrow.
再说了 我觉得扎克还没睡
Besides, I think Zach's still awake,
所以我想等他睡着
so I kind of want to wait that out.
怎么了 你俩吵架了
Oh, what's going on? You all in a fight?
没人告诉过你 基佬的事少插手吗
Didn't nobody tell you to stay out of gay folks' business?
拜托 你知道这不一样
Now, you know that's not the same.
行吧
Fine.
是 我们最近吵得更凶了
Yeah, we've we've been arguing a bit more lately,
但这很正常
but that's normal.
情侣都有蜜月阶段
You have your honeymoon phase
然后是“生不如死”阶段
and then your"I'm in Hell" phase
然后是“看来咱俩无解”阶段
and then"I guess we're stuck here"phase.
然后你们结婚 走向死亡
And then you get married, and then you die.
这种情况持续多久了
Well, how long has this been going on?
嗯 有一个月了吧
Mm, about a month.
等等 不 这都二月底了
Wait. No. February is almost over.
所以我觉得 有七个月
So...I'd say seven months.
七个月
Seven months?
我觉得我们是无聊了
We're bored, I guess.
我们可以一整天都不说话
We go entire days without talking.
真说话的时候 只是在假装
And when we do, we're just kind of pretending
我们仍然喜欢对方
to still be into each other.
我们要是不无聊了 意味着争吵的开始
And when we're not bored, we're bickering.
很难讲 就是 走不下去