小学风云（2021）

RENDS Anfd your Tariq was a renaissance, for real.
绝对是我的灵感来源
Definitely my inspiration.
因为我只是研究了他在做什么
Cause I just be studyin' what he be doin'
然后加入我自己的元素
and puttin'my own spin on it.
别人 嘘 他们可喜欢
And the people, shh, they like it
那么 我的小甜心们在想什么呢
So, what's poppin' to all my little sweeties.
吸烟会让你得糖尿病
Smokin' cigs'll give you diabetes.
我承认吸烟会让你看起来很酷
Now, I admit that it make you look cool.
但它会让你的口气闻起来像屎
But it make your breath smell like stool.
就是便便的意思
And that's poop.
我一踏进卡座就把分数记上了
Slim: I run up the score when I step in the booth.
粉吸太多会掉牙的
You do too much dip, you might lose a tooth.
我感觉自己很狂妄 举止很粗鲁
I'm feelin'so swaggy and actin'uncouth.
癌症就更不用说了
Please don't get me started on cancer.
如果你认为抽烟能解决问题 我会疯掉的
I'mma lose it if you think smokin' the answer!
拿出来 灭掉
Get that out. Put it out.
总之 我认为孩子不应该吸烟
In conclusion, I don't think children should smoke.
没错 -对的
That's right. Yes.
你们现在岌岌可危
Yeah, y'all warm as hell now!
费城致命的过量用药人数在上升
Fatal overdoses in Philly are on the rise!
你们都有责任通过自己的决定来阻止这一切
And you all are responsible for stopping it via your decisions.
跟我一起说
Say it wit' me.
决定
AlI: Decisions.
好了 现在我要请出最厉害的
Alright, now Im about to bring out da dopest
世界上
the tightest
最严格的禁毒教育协会
certified F. A. D. E. representative
认证代表
in the wo- o- rld!
卡 洛 琳
Carol- i- i- i- ne!
认真听 这样你们才不会死
Pay attention so you don't die.
认真听
Pay attention
这样你们才不会死
so you don't die.
你好 年轻的 有色人种青年
Hello, young...youth of color.
我是卡洛琳
I'm Caroline.
看看你们的左边
Look to your left.
现在看看你的右边
Now look to your right.
现在想象一切都是模糊的
Now imagine it's blurry.
这就是嗑药的感觉
That's what it's like to be under the influence.
杰丝卡 最近怎么样
Hey, Jessca, how's it going?
棒极了 我刚告诉孩子们
It's fantastic. I was just telling the kids
他们可以选择自己的家庭作业
they can choose their own homework assignments.
原来如此 -嗯
I see. Yeah.
我发现自己选让他们对家庭作业感到非常兴奋
I find that choice gets them really excited about homework.
你值得拥有美好的生活 -嘿 那么 首先
Caroline: You are worthy of a good life. Hey, so, um, first of all,
我想谢谢你帮我代班
I just wanted to say thank you for subbing.
唯一比教书更难的工作就是代课了
The only job harder than teaching is substitute teaching
我不知道 你看过《冰路卡车司机》吗
I don't know. Have you ever seen"Ice Road Truckers"?
那履下的薄冰 那巨大的卡车
That ice thin. That truck big.
对 说得好
Yeah, good point.
很棒的节目
Mm- hmm. Great show.
其次 你知道
Uh, second, you know,
我曾经教过三年这门课
I used to teach this class for three years,
所以我对孩子们和这个年级的水平
and so I have a deep, you know, rich understanding
有很深的了解
of the kids and this grade level,
所以如黑你需要什么建议的话 可以问我
so, you know, if you ever need any tips.
谢谢 不过我没啥需要的
Thanks! But everything's fine.
嗯 但我也有一些通用的教学方法
Right but there are some universal teaching practices,
毕竟你缺乏经验
and because of your lack of experience,
你可能只需要一点温柔的指导
you might just need a little gentle guidance.
不好意思 珍妮 我在听讲呢
Excuse me, Janine, I'm trying to listen.
谢谢
Thank you. Mm hmm.
如果我需要帮助 我会找你的
If I need help, I will ask.
好吧
Okay.
但是我不需要 所以我不会找你的
But I don't, so I won't.
所以 总而言之
So, in conclusion,
要对毒品 香烟和酒精说不
say no to drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol.
记往 我们说
Remember, F. A. D. E. says,
如果这让你感觉到晕乎
if it makes you faded,
那就别 别碰
walk away from i- it.
我知道这话并不押韵
I know that doesn't exactly rhyme,
但最重要的是这话传达的信息
but it's the message that counts.
好的 我们继续这个有趣的话题
A- Alright, we're gonna keep this fun bus moving along
直接进入问答环节
and jump right into a Q&A.
当我在医院工作的妈妈下班时
When my mom gets off her shift at the hospital,
她会抽根烟 这个可以吗
she has a cigarette. Is that okay?
除非她自己也想成为那里的病人
Only if she wants to wind up being a patient there herself.
那葡萄酒呢
What about wine?
我爸爸有时会在晚餐时喝一杯
My dad drinks a glass at dinner sometimes.
你知道什么东西最百搭吗
You know what pairs well with everything?
戒洒
Sobriety.
我姑姑吃了医生为她青光眼开的大♥麻♥
My aunt takes edibles the doctor prescribed for her glaucoma.
我想如果是出于医疗原因
I guess that would be an exception
那算是例外
if it is for medical reasons.
你是说有些成瘾物质相比其他更好一点吗
So, you're saying some drugs are better than others?
说不上更好
I would not say better.
但有些肯定比其他的吏糟糕
But some are definitely worse than others.
那什么是最不糟糕的
Well, then, what's the least bad drug?
所有的成瘾物质很糟糕
All substances are bad.
但如果必须选一个
But if you had to pick one...
我想是香烟吧
Cigarettes, I guess.
不 别这样
No! No!
所以我一定要选一种物质来成瘾的话
So if I had to pick one thing to do if my life depended on it,
我应该选香烟吗
it should be cigarettes?
不是 也许选大♥麻♥吧
No! Maybe weed?
好家伙 -这都啥啊
Hoo, buddy. The hell?
赶紧结束吧我说
Let's end this guys.
据CNN报道 -嗯 那上边儿都是假新闻
According to CNN...Uh, fake news.
你说这个我就不困了
Okay, now you got my attention.
在禁洒令期间 喝酒是违法的
alcohol was illegal during the Prohibition era,
而现在大♥麻♥也开始再次兴起了
and we're seeing the same renaissance now with marijuana.
你知道哪里没有大♥麻♥问题吗
You know where they don't have a marijuana problem?
第三世界国家
The Third World,
那里的孩子不能自♥由♥使用谷歌♥
where kids can't just Google whatever they want,
因为他们在忙着制♥造♥手♥机♥
because they're busy making the phones.
好了 好了 -听起来
Okay, alright It just seems like
大部分药物也没那么可怕
most drugs aren't that bad.
好嘛 偶尔抽烟没问题的 就是别碰阿片类药物
Fine, you can smoke a little! Just don't do opioids!
我爷爷就在吃阿片类药物
My grandfather's on opioids.
医生开的药没问题
Drugs from a doctor are okay.
我妈在吃万乃洛韦
My mom's on Valtrex.
这个没事 你妈得了疱疹
That's fine. Your mom has herpes.
喂 -哇哦
Hey! Wow.
这位女士 你嗑嗨了吗
Lady, are you high?
芜湖 好嘞
Whoo! Alright!
我说这个你们说好
When I say"this, "you say, "went well. "
这个 -好
This. Went well.
好嘞 各位再会
Hey, okay. Ah, peace.
阿伯特小学全体注意
Ava: Attention, Abbott Elementarians 一
根据学区规定 我们现将
Due to the district mandate, we will now be performing
对储物柜 书包及杂物柜进行强制搜查
mandatory locker, bag, and cubby searches.
此外
In addition to searches,
我们将加大零容忍♥政策的力度
we are also reinforcing the zero- tolerance policy.
任何被发现持有成瘾物质的人都将强制停课两天
Any substance found will end in a mandatory two- day suspension.
好 -只要谈及违规物质
Okay Any discussion of illicit substances
都将受到纪律处分
will result in disciplinary action.
以上规定适用于学生及老师
This applies to students and teachers.
要像警♥察♥一样发表
It's bad enough
声明已经够惨了
I got to make announcements sounding like a cop.
现在我还得当法官 处分大家
Now I got to be a judge and hand out a sentence.
根据这份规则 我得让柯蒂斯停课
According to this, I got to suspend Curtis.
只能这样咯
Well, that's how it goes.
把成瘾物质带入学校 就得被停课