小学风云（2021）

Okay, that's different That
是的 电子烟更糟糕 因为你可以在任何地方抽
Yes, in that it's worse because you can vape anywhere.
你看《萨特本》的时候一直在吸电子烟
You vaped all through "Saltburn. "
你吸入了成千上万的毒素 哕
You're inhaling thousands of toxins. Yuck.
嗯 那 珍妮每天都抽大♥麻♥呢
Yeah, well...Janine smokes weed every day.
不是吧
No.
好家伙 你个爆♥炸♥头
Damn, Afroman.
不是 不是每天
Nope. Not every day.
是每晚
Every night.
珍妮
Janine.
草 叶子
Reefer. Ganja.
恶魔的生菜
The Devil's Lettuce.
所以你的脚才这么大是吧
That's why your feet so big.
这是药用的 也是为了大家着想
I- It's medicinal, and... and it's considerate.
如果我不抽 我就是个讨人厌的劲量兔
If I didn't smoke, I'd be an insufferable Energizer Bunny.
真是没想到 珍妮居然已经是小声说话了
What a twist. Janine is quietly off that loud.
艾娃 你没资格说话 好吗 你就是个水烟脑袋
Ava, you can't talk, okay? You a hookah head
确实 但是我用的量少
Mm- hmm. Facts. And microdosing.
我就盯着水烟筒看一会儿 然后就说 好 够了
I just eyeball it and say, "Yeah, that's enough. "
员然我不抽烟
Now, I don't smoke,
但我喜欢在周末吃蛋白大♥麻♥棒
but I do enjoy a protein- bar edible on the weekends.
你知道 研究实际上表明
You know, research actually shows …
这人能让吸毒都变无聊
Wow. This man just made drugs boring.
我建议你们都放下恶习
I suggest that you all drop your vices
来吸一口我的好药
and take a hit of my drug of choice －
耶稣
J- E- S- U- S.
街名 我主
Street name, Christ.
大家都知道
Uh, you've been known
你喜欢大喝特喝小瓶夏敦埃洒
to demolish those little bottles of Chardonnay.
而且你吸液休大♥麻♥
And you snort that liquid marijuana.
不是吸 那是大♥麻♥二酚油
You don t snort it It is CBD oil,
我用来涂关节的
and Irub it on my joints.
这是上瘾第一步药膏
It's a gateway ointment.
你们的肺都成灰了吧
Your lungs are dust.
一群瘾君了 说到关节（大♥麻♥烟）
Crackheads. Speaking of joints,
你们有没有试过加上
you ever submerge yourself in the essence of-
好了好了 嘘 别说了
Oh, duh- duh- duh- duh, shh. Don't finish that sentence.
乳香和迷迭香
Frankincense and rosemary.
我抽烟丝混大♥麻♥的时候就爱这口
I bathe in it while I hit a blunt.
抓到了 好了 我
Gotcha. Okay. I...
抓到了 很高兴我们找到了你
Gotcha. Whew, so glad we found you.
你刚刚可能听到了也可能没听到了
Um, you may or may not have heard some chatting earlier,
可能是老师们讨论的一些
that may or may not have been by the teachers,
关于一些你们可能懂
about, you know, some topics
也可能不太懂 且无法解析的话题
that you may or may not know enough about to parse.
什么 -宝贝 你在教师休息室听到了什么
What? Baby, what'd you hear up in the lounge?
老师们都是瘾君子
That the teachers are all dope fiends.
好了 这是成年人之间的对话
Okay, now, that was an adult conversation between adults.
并且也没有发生过 -我们开玩笑的
That also didn't happen. We were just joking.
那为什么没有人笑
Why didn't anybody laugh?
因为珍妮一点都不幽默
Cause Janine isn't funny.
好吧 听着 我跟你说实话
Okay, listen, I'm gonna level with you,
因为我知道你是个聪明的孩子
cause I know you're a smart kid- -
我是 至少老师是这么跟我说的
I am. Or at least that's what my teachers say.
但也许他们不是真心的 因为他们抽嗨了
But maybe they didn't mean it. Since they were high.
好吧 我觉得重点是
Okay, alright, I think the point
你无意中听到了我们的谈话
is that you overheard our conversation,
并且不是说给你听的
which wasn't meant for you,
所以也许你应该把它忘在这里
so maybe it should just stay right here.
如果能让你们感觉好点
If it makes y'all feel better,
我人可以留在这里 -好的
it can stay here physically. Okay.
但是 在数字领域
But, digitally, it's up on every platform
我已经全平台都发了
I posted it everywhere immediately.
瑞思拜
Respect.
抓到了
Gotcha.
尘暴区 得名于
So, the Dust Bowl, named after- -
你抽电子烟的时候午里
Is that what the inside of your car looks like
就是这个样子吗 c老师
when you're vaping, Mr. C. ?
听着 有件事我想说清楚
Look, I- I want to make something very clear.
任何人都不应该谈论毒品 也不应该吸毒 好吗
No one should be talking about, or doing, any drugs, okay?
除了老师们 对吧
Except for the teachers, huh?
这个人是个伪君子
This man is a hypocrite.
你被人抽了 C老师
Oh, you just got smoked, Mr. C.
但我敢说你喜欢
But I bet you like that.
嗨 -你肯定嗨着呢
Hmph. Bet you are.
词族
Word Families.
宠物 -宠物
Pet. Kids: Pet.
霍华德老师
Mm. Mrs. Howard,
你杯子里是灰皮诺葡萄酒吗
is that Pinot Grigio?
现在情况已经完全失控了
This thing has gotten totally out of control.
你们都是瘾君子 我受够了 -我们该怎么跟他们说
You're all drug addicts, and I'm tired of it. What do we even say to them?
我们不能让学生们看不起我们
We can t just have our kids undermining us.
好吧 但我们需要怎么告诉他们不要抽烟和吸毒
Okay, but how do we tell them not to smoke or do drugs,
因为首先 他们已经知道我们抽烟和吸毒
when, one, they know that we do them, and, two,
其次 我们除了跟他们说“坚决说不”之外还能说什么
we can't say anything to them except for"Just say no"?
好吧 珍妮 你现在在学区学习
Okay, well, Janine, you're at the school district.
我们该怎么办
What's our move?
我们还有一个资源可以利用
We do have one more resource at our disposal.
我想是时候请专业人士来了
I think it's time to call in a professional.
坐这一排
Gregory: Take a seat in this row,
但记得把这个座位留给我 好吗
but leave this seat for me, okay?
禁毒教育的人来得很快啊
Well, F. A. D. E. got here quickly.
对 我就是叫了个人来帮忙 -干得不错
Yeah, just had to call in a favor. Nice work
然后当他们发现是
And then I had to call in another favor
我把塔里克弄过去的时候我又只能找别人帮忙
when they found out I was the one who sent them Tariq.
我跟他们说 我怎么知道
To which I said, "How was I supposed to know
他会是个累赘 他们说
he'd be a liability? ”To which they said,
他之前不是你的男朋友吗 我就说
"Wasn't he your boyfriend? "To which I said,
好吧 爱管闹事 不过说得好
"Okay, nosy, good point.
我想用掉我剩下的所有人情
I'd like to use all other remaining favors.
你到底帮不帮我 -听起来塔里克
Can you help me or not? Well, it sounds like
和禁毒教育组是和平分手的
the Tariq and F. A. D. E. split was amicable, then.
他们说是诉讼分手 塔里克赢不了
They said it's litigious and Tariq is not winning.
太好了 看看这个
Great. Look at this.
为什么他们没有排成一列
Why aren't they in single file,
为什么他们手牵着手 真是 细菌接触警报
and why are they holding hands? It's like, germ alert.
也许是为了确保没人掉队
Maybe it's to make sure no one gets left behind.
好吧 那你知道
Okay, well, did you know
她让别人直呼她的大名吗
that she has them call her by hei first name?
他们是你的学生 不是你的朋友
These are your students, not your buddies.
此外 我还无意中听到她说
Also, I overheard her saying,
你们可以随意使用逗号♥
"You can use commas whenever you feel like. "
我只是觉得 -珍妮
And I just feel like... Janine,
你昨晚抽叶子了吗 因为我看你现在情绪高涨
did you smoke last night? Cause it don't seem like you did.
我只是不认为这是管理课堂的最佳方式
I just don't think it's the best way to run a classroom.
她就在那边 如果你想
Well, she's right over there if you want to have
跟她好好聊聊的话
an actual conversation with her.
阿伯特小学 2023呀呼
Abbott Elementary two- thousand- and- twenty- three- ee- ee!
现在是2024年了
It's 2024.
2 0 2 4年
Two- thousand- and- twenty- fou- ou- r!
我得快速白我介绍一下
Gotta introduce myself right quick.
我妈妈给我起名叫蒂莫西
My mama named me Timothy.
我叫自己斯利莫西
I call myself Slimothy.
但你们可以叫我斯利莫 好吗
But you can call me Slim. You feel me?
欢迎参加禁毒教育
Welcome to the F. A. D. E. Experience.
我们门开始吧
Let's do this!
喝掉能量
Drink up the energyl
喝掉能量 喝掉能量
Drink up the energy, drink up the energy!
清醒的头脑
Sober minded.
噢不 这是份挺棒的工作 就像 这是命运一样
4NSl"Kv Aw, yeah, no, it's a great gig. Like, it was fate.
搭里克可是真正的文艺复兴