小学风云（2021）

你跟我们一起参加研学期间
Yes, well, a sub would take over your class
会有代课老师会接管你的课
while you're with us for the duration of the fellowship.
对不起 不行
Sorry, but no.
我一刻都没想过要离开学生 所以
I can't imagine being away from my students, so.
感谢抬爱 但不用了 谢谢
I'm flattered, but, no, thank you.
好吧 -行
Okay. Alright.
你再考虑一下 好吗
Just give it some thought, okay?
你可以带来真正的改变
You could help make some real change.
刷墙仅仅是个开始
Painted walls are just the start.
感觉被人强迫了
Feels forced.
这个东西 真是的
This thing. Ohl
珍妮 来看看我要放给学生的视频
Oh, Janine! Check out this video I'm gonna show the kids.
是康门在读口语诗 内容给跟朝鲜战争有关
Common doing a spoken- word poem about the Korean War.
那不是口语 他只是在无伴奏说唱
Oh, that's not spoken word. He's just rapping a cappella.
大差不差啦
Well, tomato, to- mah- toe.
你对这此学区新来的人怎么看
Hey. What do you think about these new district people?
挺喜欢的啊
Oh, I like'em.
我看到你和那个帅哥说话了 曼尼
Ooh! I saw you talking to that cute guy, Manny.
你跟他是怎么回事
What's his deal?
他当然跟格雷戈里闭不上 我的国王 我的兄弟
He's no Gregory- my king, my guy.
不不不 不是那样的 你懂吗
No. No, no, no, no. It wasntlikethat, you know?
不不不 不是那样的 你懂吗
No. No, no, no, no. It wasn't like that, you know?
他只是来问我个事儿
He was just asking me to do something,
想让我去学区工作一段时间
work at the district for a little while,
跟一个奖研金项目有关
something about a fellowship.
天啊 罗布森顷目吗
Oh, my God! The Robeson Fellowship? !
这可是莫大殊荣 珍妮
This is a huge deal, Janinel
他们邀请了你么 为啥不来邀请我
They asked you? Why didn't they ask me?
曼尼肯定是感觉到了我对格雷戈里的忠诚
Manny can sense my allegiance to Gregory, I bet.
雅各布 -你应该接受 珍妮
Jacob. You should do it, Janine.
雅各布 -你应该接受 珍妮
Jacob. You should do it, Janine.
你可以做出真正的改变
You can make a real difference.
可我不能远离学生那么久
I can't be away from my classroom for that long.
想想我都会哭的
I'm gonna cry just thinking about it.
你已经在哭了
You actual are crying.
你已经在哭了
You actually are crying.
雅各 这个视频禁止播放
Jacob! That is video contraband.
学校不允许出现这种内容
Not allowed in this school.
什么 为什么课程大纲里没有
What? ! Why? ! It's not curriculum.
但我们的教科书已经太旧了艾娃
But our textbooks are so old, Ava.
如果都按这些课本来讲
According to these books
我们都还没有从伊♥拉♥克♥撤军
we still haven't even pulled out of Iraq yet.
知道吗 我在哈佛的
You know, one of the first things I learned
合法财产范围内时学习时
when I was physically located
学到的第一件事
within the legal property lines of Harvard
就是为了学生安全和学校的利益
is that teachers are required to stick to curriculum
老师必须严格按照课程大纲
for student safety and school protection.
等等 那是我的个人电脑 你不能没收
Wait. That's my personal computer! You can't do that!
已经没收了
Did it.
欢迎回来 开学第一天
Ava: Welcome back. First day of school.
好的 孩子们 排好队
Alright. Get in line, kids.
排成纵队 衬衣塞好
Single- file line. Tuck them shirts in.
不许交头接耳 你很幸运 小子
No talking. Boy, yo u lucky.
就你这造型 去年的艾娃会拿你狠狠开涮
Last year's Ava would've roasted you for looking like
因为你看着像是亚当·桑德勒参加即兴比赛
Adam Sandler at a pickup game
或者亚当·桑德勒参加婚礼
Or Adam Sandler at a wedding
或者亚当·桑德勒参加奥斯卡颁奖礼
Or Adam Sandler at the Oscars.
好了 去上课吧
Now go to class.
早上好啊 欢迎欢迎
Janine: Good morning. Welcome, welcome.
欢迎你们 好吧
Welcome, you guys. Alright.
嗨 你想坐在这里吗
Hey. Hi. You want to sit here?
我不咬人 我是提格斯老师 你叫什么名字
I don't bite. I'm Ms. Teagues. What's your name?
亚历克斯 -亚历克斯 见到你很高兴
Alex. - Alex. Nice to meet you.
好的同学们
Alright! You guysl
欢迎来到二年级 你们升级了
Welcome to second grade. You made it!
你们能率先用上这批新来的平板电脑
Let me just say it's really cool you guys get to be the first
真是太幸运了
to use our brand- new iPads.
但这些都是用过的
These are old.
对我们来说就是全新的
Brand- new iPads to us －－
因为阿伯特小学永远走在
because Abbott Elementary is on the forefront
尖端技术的最前沿
of cutting- edge technology.
我的平板坏了
My iPad is dead.
我们的也坏了
Students: Ours, too!
呃 好吧
Uh, okay.
好 没关系
Um, alright. That's okay.
不如这边的同学与那边的同学一起用
How about we just have you guys share with them over there?
这个只剩7%电量了
This one's on 7%.
好吧
Um, alright.
那我们就边充电边上课
We can just charge them while we work.
可我们只有两个充电器
And we only have two chargers.
你看到加里留在贩售机里的
Did you see the cherry Ring Pop
樱桃戒指糖了吗
Gary left in the vending machine?
天啊 他也太过了
Melissa: Gosh. He is too much.
姑娘 他在给你发信♥号♥♥
Girl, he's sending you signals.
他只是开玩笑
He's just joking.
你也知道 男人总爱拿这事开玩笑
You know how men joke about that stuff all the time.
我不知道 我不认识一个男的
No, I do not. I do not know of one man
为了开玩笑 去问她女友的闺蜜
who would ask his girlfriend's friend
要她的戒指尺寸
for her correct ring size as a joke.
他可能是要给我买♥♥个超级碗
He's probably, like, getting me a Super Bowl
戒指的复刻品吧
replica ring or something
每次我要用花♥园♥的时候
Okay. Ava's literally gatekeeping
艾娃就想方设法拦我
when I can use the garden.
她给我的金橘上了锁
She put a padlock on my kumquats.
还让我重新安排教室的座位
She is making me rearrange the seating in my classroom,
抛弃了好几年学业运的好风水
throwing off decades of good educational feng shui.
她还让我换掉了拖地的水
She made me replace my mop water.
但好东西跟酵母头一个道理
But the best stuff is like a sourdough starter- -
越陈越香
the older it is, the better it gets.
好吧 别激动
Alright. L- Let's relax.
艾娃终于有了回校长的样子
Ava is finally the principal she is supposed to be,
所以我建议给她一次机会
so I say we give her a shot- -
就像我们午餐时要给一家新开的豆腐店机会一样
just like we give this new whole- grain tofu spot a shot
因为是我选的
for lunch today because it's my pick.
谁准备好抗氧化饮食了
Who's ready to get antioxidated?
好消息 各位 空闲时段取消了
Great news, everyone － there are no more free periods.
取而代之的是 所有人都要做点志愿工作
Instead, everyone will be volunteering for lunch duty,
比如午餐值班 大厅监控和图书馆整理
hall monitoring, library management,
等等一直如此
et cetera at all times.
至少我们还能好好吃个午餐
Well, at least we can still enjoy our lunches.
哦 也不能再吃校外午餐了
Oh! And no more off- campus lunches.
违反政策规定
It's against policy.
必须有人阻止她
She must be stopped.
是“图书馆和图书管♥理♥员♥”的配比很棘手
Yeah, the "library to librarian"ratio is troubling,
但没有我们解决不了的问题
but nothing we can't fix.
听着
Listen.
说到这个 你看看能不能
Speaking of, could you look into
给我的教室买♥♥台麦旋风机
getting a McFlurry machine for my classroom?
因为“麦旋风机和教室”的配比
Because the"McFlurry machine to classroom"ratio,
也十分离谱
t- that's also way off.
这个做不到
We can't do that.
我就知道
Typical.
嘿 曼尼
Hey. Manny?
你之前说新想法 我这里有一个
So, you said to mention ideas, and I think I have one.
我喜欢你们送的新平板
Okay. Love the iPads that you gave us,
但我觉得最好
but I was just thinking it would be cool
多分几个充电器
if we had more chargers for charging.
比如再配三四个 或者七
You know, like three or four or seven.
七八个 -是你说的啊 不是我
Or eight. Hey, you said it, not me.
各位 确保每个教室的平板
Yeah. Guys, we should make sure that we have enough chargers