小学风云（2021）

Hey, where do you qet off?
我是很多女生的情感导师
I qot all these girls coming to me for advice,
多少段青春懵懂的恋情都在我掌握中
I'm managing a million pre- teen relationships,
你干嘛要来坏事啊
and you qo and torpedo everything.
听着 我不想掺和进来的
Look, I didn't want any part of this, okav?
是他们来问我意见的
They came in and they asked me.
他们主动来找你的
They- - They came to you?
把自己说的像个酷老师一样
Like you're some kind of cool teacher or something?
我也看不懂
I'm just as perplexed as you.
我以为学生进来乱放屁就够烦了
Ithought the kids coming in here and farting was bad,
原来还有更烦的
but I see it can be a lot worse.
瞧 他不想扮酷
He doesn't want to be cool.
因为他讨厌孩予
Savs'cause he hates kids.
一个人得到第二次生命时
You'd think a man who's been given a second chance at life
本应把爱传下去才对
miqht want to pay it forward.
好吧 我不讨厌孩子
Okay, I don't hate kids.
我只是不喜欢这种责任 好吧
I just don't want the responsibility, okav?
我更喜欢独处
And I like my alone time.
行吧 没关系
Okav, that's fine.
你可以不做啊 他们又不是你的学生
You don't have to do it. I mean, they're not your kids.
太对了 是的
Right, e- exactlv. Yeah.
我教一年级 这就是我的职责
I teach first graders. That's what I'm here to do.
但在我看来 我是为了孩子们而来
And the wav I look at it is I am here for the kids.
但你要是还想继续躲在这儿
But if you want to qo ahead and hide out in here,
随便你
qo ahead and do it.
总之 你欠我们一条项链 方兹
Either way, you owe us a chain, Fonzie.
很高兴又帮格雷戈里
Glad I could help Greqory
度过了他坎坷一生中的一次危机
with his problem- filled life yet again,
但我很快就要暴富了
but I'm about to become real rich real quick.
为啥我要走啊
Why am I leaving?
等等 你就为这个担心吗
Wait. That's what you're hung up on?
她被U2带走了 我真得看看这电影了
She was taken bv U2? I really need to see this movie.
难以置信
It's unbelievable.
珍妮 珍妮！
Janine! Janine!
不好意思 失陪一下
If you could iust excuse me for a minute.
谢谢
Thanks.
艾娃 现在不方便
Ava, now is not a qood time.
我见自己的内鬼还要预约吗
I don't need to schedule a meeting to see my mole.
我不是你的内鬼
I am not your mole.
这卧底工作做得真不错 姑娘
Wav to keep your cover, qirl.
听着 你得赶快找个手语翻译
Look, you have qot to qet that ASL interpreter.
小伊玛尼课听不懂课
Little Imani is missing out in class,
更糟的是 我的笑话她也听不懂
and even worse, she's missing all my zinqers.
我尽力了
Look, I mean, I- I tried,
但这事影响了我的正常工作
but it was taking me away from thinqs,
一些我需要参与的重要工作
important thinqs that they need my input on,
找翻译的事 似乎没可能了
and, you know, the interpreter just seemed impossible.
我俩本来也没可能做朋友 熟人的
Us being friends... acquaintances- was impossible,
但你做到了
but you made that happen.
这不一样
This is different.
你不知道要填多少文件
There's reallv iust too much red tape.
这不是借口
That's no excuse.
听着 我成功为八年级安排过游戏驿站的实地考察
Look, I qot our 8th graders a field trip to GameStop.
我还让人把宠物鳄鱼带进了学校
I let somebody bring their pet alliqator to school.
艾娃·费斯特现在是火灾隐患的代名词
Ava Fest is a fire hazard.
我赌上过所有人的生命 我依旧会这么做
I've risked evervone's lives, and I will do so aqain,
因为孩子需要我们
because that's what we do for our kids.
好 你先考虑着
Yeah. Now...while you're mulling that over,
我再跟你谈个事情
I have other business to discuss.
我需要几个助理
I'm in need of some assistants.
什么助理 -不是
Assistance with what? No.
我需要两个助理 -出去
I need two assistants. Get out.
行吧
Fine.
塔里克现在有儿子了 在芭芭拉的班上
Tariq has a son in Barbara's class.
拜拜
Bve!
来吧 很好
Here we qo. That's right.
再见亲爱的 好好做作业
Bye- bye, darling. Do that homework, now.
好嘞 尼克
All right, Nick.
该收拾东西了 尼克
It's time to pack up your things, Nick.
你可以选择今晚在哪儿吃饭
You qet to choose where we're eating tonight,
只要你选巴哈马微风
as long as you say Bahama Breeze.
我开玩笑的啦 尼克 我们可以去野餐
I'm just playin', Nick. We could do a picnic.
你来选吧 尼克 你说了算 真的
You qet to pick, Nick. It's your call, man. Come on.
这个头开的不错 塔里克
That's a qood start, Tariq.
你得叫我老尼克了
It's actually Nick Sr. now.
你知道吗
You know what?
霍华德老师 你的建议我受益匪浅
Your advice qoes harder than that thang, Mrs. Howard.
你知道吗
You know what?
确实如此 但我必须问问
Yes, it does, Tariq. But I must ask
孩子妈会来接送孩子吗
will the child's mother ever be dropping off and picking up?
不不 她工作很忙
No, no, no, no. She works crazy hours, you know?
总得有人养家吧
Somebodv qotta pav the bills
我现在几乎见不到她
I barely ever see her.
所以你会来送孩子
So you'll be here.
对 一年到头 每天两次
Yeah, twice a day for the rest of the year,
直到 我找到工作 或是认识别人
or until, you know, Ifind a iob or meet somebodv else.
也就是说 我每天都能见到你
So I'll be seeing you every day.
怎么 你觉得我不会再认识其他人吗
Whv, you don't think I could meet somebodv else?
你不能选择自己学生的
You don't qet to choose the parents
父母或者继父母
or stepparents of the children that you teach.
但据说 养孩子需要全村的努力
But they say it takes a villaqe.
可有时候 你们那个村会有一个塔里克
and sometimes, there's a Tariq in your village.
哟 -嘿
Yo. Hey.
还在四处碰壁吗
You still hitting that brick wall?
去年 一位母亲写信问我
Last year a mom wrote me a letter askinq
能不能在52街和兰开斯特街交口派个警卫
if we could qet a crossing quard at 52nd and Lancaster.
我知道那个交囗
I know that intersection.
我前男友在那被撞过四次
Oh, mv ex qot hit there like four times.
是啊 他一定知道 那里很危险
You see? He knows it's danqerous. Yeah.
在我读完那封信之后
So after I read that letter.
我试遍了所有正当渠道
I went through every proper channel,
总是一无所获
and I just kept coming up empty.
但别忘了 我们邀请你过来
But remember that we brought you here
正是看重你解决问题的创造性
because of your creative problem- solving skills.
学区不看过程 只看结果
The district never asks how you did something,
看
and look.
只要达到目的就行
you just qotta qet it done.
你不会后悔的
It's worth it.
我猜你要迟到了吧
I'm quessing you're qoing to be late?
对 但我也要问你几个问题 不见报的那种
Yes, but I also need to ask you something off the record.
你真的是艾娃安插在学区的内鬼吗
Is this about you being Ava's mole at the district?
我不是艾娃的内鬼
I am not Ava's mole!
这卧底工作真不错 姑娘
Way to keep your cover girl.
我需要你把伊玛尼父母的
I need you to send me the contact information
联♥系♥方式发给我
for Imani's parents.
你的门竟然开着
Your door's open?
是的
Yes.
你们要是还想来这玩 随你便
And if you still wanna hanq out in here vou can
但我们得把底线明确好
But we're qonna do it with boundaries.
第一 不许讨论任何感情话题
Number one I don't wanna hear anvthing
或是提到“雌性”这个词
about your relationships or the word"females". v
同意 你的建议很烂耶
Deal. Your advice sucked.
很好
Fair enough.
还有 你们不能干坐着 什么都不做
Also, we're not iust qonna sit around here and do nothing.
我们要学有成效
We're gonna be productive.
我们还能放屁吗
Can we still fart, thouqh?
如果你非要放的话
If vou must.
太好了 因为我刚放了一个
Good, causeIjust did.
在大机构
Sometimes big places
有时很难落实一些小事
make it hard to qet small things done.
为了达成目的 我只能走出办公室