实习大叔（2013）

Oh, my God, are those your dads?
正儿八经讲 许多同性恋人都是很称职的父母
Seriously, same sex partners make excellent parents.
我真希望的父母也是同性恋
I so wish my parents were gay.
什么时候20的看起来像12了
When did 20 start to look like 12?
是啊
Oh, man.
当然了 我会尽全力的
Yes, of course I'll work my hardest.
妈 我怎么能
Mom, how can I work harder than my hardest?
这是不可能的
That's physically impossible...
好的 好的 我会的
Okay, okay, I will.
我也爱你 妈
Yes, I love you... Mom.
-比利·麦克马洪 比利·麦克马洪 -很高兴认识你
- Billy McMahon, Billy McMahon. - Nice to meet you.
还好吧
How are you?
我去那边弄点吃的
Oh, I'm gonna grab some food over here.
-你行吗 -去吧 我没问题
- You okay? - Get something. I'm good.
-我不和你在一起 没事吧 -没事
- You all right if I leave you? - Yeah.
这些东西看起来不错
This stuff looks good, huh?
-给我少来点 -打扰下 先生
- Little pickmeup. - Excuse me. Sir.
格雷汉姆·霍特里
Graham Hawtrey.
-比利·麦克马洪 -能来到这我真的非常兴奋
- Billy McMahon. - I'm so thrilled to be here.
我也是
Oh, me, too.
就像是少年棒球联合会
Feels kind of like the first day
春游的第一天
of spring training for Little League here.
我得说 比起你们大多是孩子
I got to tell you, I feel like I got a few more clicks
我还是阅历比较丰富的
on the old odometer than most of you kids here.
这也是我过来找你的原因
Well, honestly, that's why I came over here.
我告诉我自己 格雷厄姆
I said to myself, "Graham, there's a man
那儿有个生活经验比较丰富的主
"with some life experience.
或许他能教我个一招半式的
Probably teach you a thing or two. "
我给你介绍我的朋友 尼克
Oh, you got to meet my friend, Nicky.
你会喜欢他的
You'll love him. Nicky!
尼克 过来
Nickelodeon! Come over here!
过来
Come over.
过来认识这个伙计 格雷厄姆
Come meet this guy, Graham.
他和你我一样都是实习生
He's in the internship program with me and you.
-还好吗 -挺好的
- How you doing? - Good.
-你们是实习生 -是的
- You're interns? - Yes.
-别扯了 -真的
- Shut up! - Deal with it.
-你♥他♥妈♥别扯了 -确实是
- Shut the fuck up. - Deal with it.
但你们看起来这么老啊
But you're so old, though.
什么
Excuse me?
噢 天呢 我真是蠢到家了 我太蠢了
Oh, my God, I feel terrible! I feel so stupid.
-不 别这样 我们很激动 -不 没事
- No, don't be. We're excited. - No, it's fine.
-不 我感觉糟透了 我感觉糟透了 -为啥呢
- No, I feel terrible. I feel terrible. - No. For what?
我还以为你们是些大人物
I just, you know, I thought you were important.
晦气
Oh, shit.
我得去去找找真的管事的了
I've got to find some people who actually matter,
祝你们好运
but good luck!
为什么要叫我过来认识这种人
Why did you bring me over to introduce me to this guy?
就像他是你的好朋友样
It's like he was your best friend.
你把我介绍给了希♥特♥勒♥
You introduced me to Hitler.
额 他开始看起来还是不错的
Well, he seemed like he was sweet at first.
我叫罗杰·切蒂
My name is Roger Chetty.
谷歌♥实习生总管
And I am head of the Google Intern Program.
欢迎来到谷歌♥
Welcome to Google.
这并不是一般的实习
This will not be your average internship.
绝对不是
Oh, no.
你们做我们的工作
You will do what we do.
我们盯着看你们的表现如何
And we will watch how well you do it.
你们代表着最好的学校
Now, you represent the finest schools.
你们的聪明才智也已被充分证明
Your intelligence, your achievement is well noted,
但是想在这个实习中胜出
but to excel at this internship,
需要的不仅仅是聪明
you're going to need far more than brainpower.
你们还需要拥有谷歌♥精神
What you're going to need is Googliness.
这并不好笑
Nothing funny.
谷歌♥精神
Googliness.
那种改变搜索引擎时代
The intangible stuff that made a search engine
无形动力
into an engine for change.
你们将会被分成若干小组
Now, you will be divided into teams,
假期结束后
and by the end of the summer,
只有一组能获得正式岗位
only one team will be guaranteed a fulltime position.
剩下的95%将会被淘汰
The other 95% of you will not.
你们已被分成不同的研讨组
Now, you've been split up into several seminars
去各自了解我们的公♥司♥和文化
to acquaint you with our campus and culture.
研讨组的具体描述已经发邮件给你们了
Seminar descriptions have been e mailed to each of you.
祝你们好运 但并不是你们期望的那种好运
I would wish you luck, but it's not luck that you need.
开始吧
Get to work!
这不是简单的
Well, this ain't gonna be about
给人买♥♥杯咖啡跑跑腿的事
getting coffee and running errands for people.
一点也不是
No, no.
我们身处在饥饿游戏里
We're looking at some sort of mental Hunger Games
要同一群天才争夺仅有的一份工作
against a bunch of genius kids for just a handful of jobs.
所以说我们一定要专注
That's why we got to nail this thing.
这就是我们的开场白
This is our opening statement.
讨好法官
If it please the court.
讨好法庭 律师
Oh, it pleases the court, counselor.
好的 工作环境研讨组
Okay, Workplace Seminar.
还有一些位置
Still a few seats left.
展示第一印象的时刻
First impression time, baby.
答对了
Bingo!
这部分我们能做的很好
Okay, we can do good in this.
-我们必须得 -沙扎姆
- We have to do... - Shazam!
咫尺天涯啊 伙计
So close yet so far, boys.
格雷厄姆 我们先到的这
Graham, we were here first.
你知道吗
You know what?
你说的对
You're right.
你们可以利用这个优势
You guys could use the advantage.
去吧
Go ahead.
你说这什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
在一个充满美德的世界里
It means that in a world of excellence,
又老又乏味的资历是多样性的
old and unexceptional qualifies as diversity.
知道吗 你们去吧
So you know what? Go ahead.
有句话怎么说的了
What's that saying?
"老人优先"
"Age before beauty"?
谢了
Thank you.
不客气 威廉
You're welcome, William.
现实中总是有些小丑
You know, there's always some joker
喜欢自取其辱
who likes to play fuckaround.
我想那个人就是你 格雷厄姆
I guess that's gonna be you, Graham.
好了 起码我们知道 开始了
All right, at least we know. Game on.
好运
Good luck, boys.
谷歌♥并不是一个一般的工作场所
Now, I recognize that Google is not a conventional workplace.
我们有许多规定
Having said that, we have rules.
我将会问你们几个问题
I'm going to ask you a series of questions.
你们要举起绿牌
You are going to raise the green paddle
表示"同意"红牌表示"不同意"
to indicate "yes" and the red paddle to indicate "no. "
我们开始吧
So, let's begin.
"同上司喝酒"
"Having a beer with your boss. "
你们中还有不满21岁的
Some of you are under 21.
我们中也有超过21的
Some of us aren't under 21,
如果你可以给我来个冰镇的话
if you want to grab a cold one with me,
我会非常愿意同你喝酒
I'm happy to do that with you.
我不会给你来个冰镇的
I will not be grabbing a cold one with you.
你喝多了
You get high?
-我没有喝多 -好吧
- I don't get high. - Okay.
我不做评价 我只是陈述事实
I'm not judging. I'm just saying,
人们喜欢这样的
people do it.
意思是说
That being said,
如果你想要些冰镇饮料的话 我能解你燃眉之急
if you want something cold to drink, we'll hook you up.
我很好
I'm okay.
别和我说话 谢谢
Thank you, just stop talking to me.
我是你的 比利·霍尔顿 17号♥战俘营的