搜索救援队（2014）

大♥麻♥的确诚实
Weed is truth.
对吧 人们抽嗨了以后总是瞎说实话
Right? People get high and they say some real shit.
我就希望我朋友能在我结婚前告诉我我的决定是错的
I wish my friends had told me I was making a mistake before my ceremony.
你希望你朋友阻止你来着
You wish your friends had stopped you?
每天都这么想
Every day of my life.
不过我们结婚了 然后啪啪啪 孩子出来了
But we got married and then, bing, bang, boom, we have the children.
三个小船锚把我拴在这艘逐渐下沉的船上
Three small anchors tethering me to a ship that's sinking.
每天进个厨房♥都像进鬼屋一样
Haunting me every day from my kitchen.
孩子可好了
Great kids.
天呐
Jesus.
二娃格外肥硕
The middle one is extra fat.
但人谁无过呢
But everybody makes a mistake, huh?
不过有时有些错误会伴随终生罢了 蛤蛤蛤
Sometimes, these mistakes, they're for eternity.
（歌♥词押韵无能 见谅）
要说多少字才能说清
How many words would it take to really say
你给我生活带来的所有改变
How much you've changed my life in every single way?
你让酸甜苦辣都更甜
You make the good stuff better And the bad stuff, too
是呢 我的生活愈发美好 因为有你一道
Yeah, my life is better 'Cause I get to do it with you
每晚吃晚饭的时候
Every night when we eat dinner
我们一起嚼啊嚼
I get to chew it with you
如果生病了也可以和你一起情流感菌
If we get sick, I get to flu it with you
如果我们一起看《绿卡》
And if we're watching Green Card
就一起Depardieu一下（男主名字）
I get to Depardieu it with you
是呢 我的生活愈发美好…
Yeah, my life is better...
一切都还好吧 啥 说啥
Everything okay? What? Huh?
好得很 礼服帅爆了
Yeah. Tux looks great.
哦 谢谢
Oh, thanks, yeah.
这是我爷爷的礼服 他是意呆利人
It was my grandfather's. He was Italian.
他就穿着这身死的 哦 好吧
He died in it. Oh, okay.
记住今日的誓言 在未来共同重现
Remember this vow I will renew it with you
我的生活愈发美好
My life is better
因为有你一道
'Cause I get to do it with you
好了 是时候上重头戏了
Okay. Now it's time for the good part.
我想戒指是由你准备的吧 哦 是的
I believe you're providing the rings? Oh, yeah.
拿好了
Got it.
Oops.
我 Nardo 娶你 Tracy…
I, Nardo, take you, Tracy...
我 Nardo 娶你 Tracy…
I, Nardo, take you, Tracy...
停下！
Stop!
停下！
Stop!
哦艹
Oh, shit!
停止这婚礼 停下
Stop the wedding! Stop!
拜托 停止…婚礼
Please, stop the... The wedding.
我不能让你这么做
I can't let you do this.
Jason 别这样
Jason, don't!
对不起 我必须这样
I'm sorry, but I have to.
什么情况
What is happening?
你离我女儿远点
Stay away from my daughter.
谁 Tracy？
Who, Tracy?
恶心 我来这才不是因为我爱她
Yuck. Gross. I'm not here because I love her.
我来这是因为我爱他
I'm here because I love him.
我？
Me?
我就知道
I knew it.
不 Jared 这不是基情
No, Jared, it's not a gay thing.
上帝啊 这孩子是什么毛病
God, what is with him?
他刘海留得比脸还长
His bangs are longer than his face.
我知道我话一出口
I know that as I said that,
听起来是有点基
it did come out kind of gay,
不过Nardo和我已经超越了基情
but Nardo and I are more than gay.
我们是最好的朋友 这感情也得算上Evan
We're best friends. And that goes for... For Evan, too.
别算上我
Leave me out of this.
嘿 嘿 Jason
Hey, hey, Jason.
你不能现在跟我整这出
Jason, you cannot do this right now.
Evan和我太爱你了不能看着你往火坑里跳
Evan and I love you too much to let you go through with this.
别算上我
Leave me out of this!
这他爹的怎么回事儿
What the hell is going on?
我很抱歉 Tracy 这些话我早就想说了
I'm sorry, Tracy, I wanted to say this earlier.
你知道的 在你家人还没牵扯进来的时候
You know, before your family got involved
如今连耶稣也在场
and Jesus was here.
这场面比我预想得还要尴尬出许多
I didn't realize this is way more awkward than I thought it was gonna be.
我以为会有人支持我呢
I thought that some people would agree.
虽说不指望能有人将我举过头顶
Not that you would carry me out on your shoulders or anything,
但你们还真是把我晾在这啊
but you guys have really left me hanging here.
这可真…
This is really...
这真难办
This is a toughie.
但 但重点是
But... But the point is
她不是他的真命天女
that she is not the one for him.
你自己说的
You said it yourself.
不 我没有 我才没说
No, I did not. I did not say that! What?
我根本没说 你说了 你在Marty的货车里说的
I never said that! Yes, you did, in Marty's van!
我根本不记得在Marty的货车里发生了什么
I don't even remember Marty's van.
我当时抽嗨了
I was high in Marty's van.
我当时抽嗨了
I was high in Marty's van!
我们需要克服很多慢性病
A lot of chronic was being passed.
奶奶 对不起 我不抽那破玩意
Grammy, I'm sorry. I don't smoke that crap.
是医用处方 不然才不抽那破玩意
It's medical. I don't smoke crap.
你懂的 没什么大不了的
You know what? If anything,
Nardo不过是衡量了一下你作为一个人的利弊表
Nardo was just going over the pros and cons of you as a person.
你有点…吃东西太慢了你懂
You can be a little, you know... You eat slow.
不是啥大事 我们只是闲聊
It's not a big deal. We were just talking.
就是男人瞎扯
It was just guys kind of gabbing...
就是男人扯淡 扯蛋 互相扯蛋
It was just guy talk. Guy talk, guy talk.
停停停停 他怎么总是道歉
Stop, stop, stop, stop! He's always apologizing.
你真得改善改善了 怎么总是犯错
You need to work on that. He's always doing something wrong.
闭嘴 都闭嘴
Stop it! Stop it!
这不是我的想法 我们…
Okay, this is not what I think. We're just...
我们继续婚礼 好不好
We're gonna go along with the wedding, okay?
我们还是要结婚的 好不好
We're gonna do the wedding, okay?
任何事都阻止不了我们了 我们…
Nothing can stop us now. We're...
Tracy!
Tracy!
Tracy!
Tracy!
地板搞这么滑多危险
Well, this is dangerous.
所以才发生这种事
That's why that happened.
人皆抽麻
Everybody smokes weed.
Tracy!
Tracy!
别和我说话 Evan
Don't even speak to me, Evan.
Tracy 等等别走
Tracy, wait, don't leave!
你知道吗 我知道你们这些家伙从来不喜欢我
You know what?I knew you guys never liked me.
但我从没想到你们会毁了我的人生
But I never thought you were gonna ruin my life.
Tracy 我只是想…
Tracy, I was just trying to...
你知道吗 我们的礼堂一直订到6点呢
You know what? We got the chapel till 6:00. Why don't the three of you guys
干脆你们三个好基友互相结婚算了
just go ahead and marry each other?
咱真能那样吗 绝对好笑
Can we do that? Because that would be hilarious.
我开玩笑的 明显的
I'm kidding. Obviously.
艹♥你♥爸
Fuck you.
最坏就是你
You're the worst. Tracy...
要香槟吗 要 谢谢
Champagne? Yes, thank you.
你要一杯吗 不 我不用 谢谢你了
You want one? No, I'm good. Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
（新婚）
让我和他谈谈
Here, let me talk to him.
是呢 你显然能合理处理问题
Oh, yeah, 'cause clearly you can handle things appropriately.
嘿 哥们儿 听着 我知道你现在很难过
Hey, buddy. Look, I know you're upset now,
不过会好起来的
but it's gonna get better.
这像戒毒第一天
It's like your first day of rehab.
想要嘬着杯无糖可乐在百乐宫酒店晃悠肯定很艰难…
It's hard to walk around the Bellagio sipping Coke Zero...
你他爸的能不能闭嘴
Would you shut the fuck up?
我想要结婚的 你个蠢货
I wanted to get married, you asshole!
那在货车里的那些话呢
What about in the van?
我根本都不记得说过什么好吧
I don't even remember that, okay?
我他爹的嗨大了
I was fucking high.
是 但也许那才是重点