后座（2025）

我不吃巧克力
I don't eat chocolate.
嗯，不了
Well, no.
你当然不会 我是说...
Of course you don't. I mean...
买♥♥个肛塞
And buy yourself a butt plug.
你太紧了
You're too tight.
好嘞！
Yeah!
好的，好的 呃...
Yeah, yeah. Erm...
太好了，听起来是个好计划
Lovely, that sounds like a plan.
那再见啦
Bye, then.
呃...
Erm...
- 是他吗？ - 是的　　
- That's him? - Yeah.
那是你的男朋友吗？
That's your boyfriend?
哦不，他不是我的男朋友
Well, no, he's not my boyfriend.
我们，呃，我们有个约定
We, er, we have an arrangement.
你怎么找到这样的男人的？
How'd you get a man like that?
他说我对奉献有天赋
Well, he says that I have an aptitude for devotion.
明天见！
See you tomorrow!
♪ It's a bad ♪
♪ It's a bad feeling ♪
♪ Bad feeling ♪
♪ It's a bad ♪
♪ It's a bad feeling ♪
♪ Bad feeling ♪
试试这些吧
Try these on.
试什么？
Try what on?
呃……
Uh...
雷？
- Ray? - ♪ It's a bad ♪
♪ It's a bad feeling ♪
♪ Bad feeling ♪
♪ It's a bad ♪
♪ It's a bad feeling ♪
♪ Bad feeling ♪
这是，呃...
It's, er...
啊...
Ahh...
你喜欢吗？
Do you like it?
♪ It's a bad, bad, bad feeling ♪
♪ Turn me off again ♪
♪ It's a bad, bad, bad... ♪
祝你生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
祝你生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
祝你生日快乐，亲爱的科林
♪ Happy birthday, dear Colin ♪
祝你生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
呃，抱歉
Er, sorry.
我是雷 喂？
It's Ray. Hello?
好的，没问题
Yeah, sure. No problem.
呃，是的，不好意思 稍等
Er, yeah, sorry. One second.
准备好了
Ready.
是的
Yep.
好的，那我们大约一个小时后见
Alright, I'll see you in about an hour then.
刚才的事很抱歉
Sorry about that.
哦，没错
Oh, yeah.
- 好耶 - 哎　
-Yay. - Ay.
一切还好吗？
Everything okay?
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
那么，嗯...
So, erm...
我们什么时候能见见你那位雷呢？
when are we gonna get to meet this Ray of yours, then?
你已经见过了，不是吗？
You have, haven't you?
但那只是在三个月前的黑暗中，短短的一瞬间
But for half a second in the dark three months ago.
你妈妈以前总带着我满城转悠，像展示获奖母牛似的
Your mum used to parade me around town like a prize cow.
嗯 我们没这么尴尬吧，是不是？
Mm. We're not that embarrassing, are we?
- 没有，绝对没有 - 没错　　　　　
- No, no, you're not. - Right.
那么，我们就在日记里定个日子吧
Well, let's get a date in the diary.
越早越好
Sooner rather than later.
哦...
Oh...
晚餐准备了什么好吃的？
Having something nice for dinner?
嗯，法式焗土豆
Yeah, potato dauphinoise.
哇哦，真讲究
Ooh, fancy.
那么雷是个好厨师吗？
Is Ray a good cook, then?
天哪，是我在做饭 雷……雷从不做饭
Oh no, I'm cooking. Ray... Ray doesn't cook.
哦……哦……
Oh... oh...
所以，他让你自己买♥♥食材，还得亲手做自己的生日晚餐？
Right, so he's making you buy
and cook your own birthday dinner?
是的 我的意思是，我……我不介意
Yeah. I mean, I...I don't mind.
——所以，这……——没错，但今天是你的生日啊，科林
So, it's f...
Yeah, but it's your birthday, Colin.
你本该被宠坏的
You should be spoilt rotten.
如果雷不会做饭，他至少可以带你去个好地方
If Ray can't cook,
he could at least take you out somewhere nice.
我有些...
Some...
你想说什么吗？
Do you wanna say something?
不
No.
你确定？
You sure?
没错
Yeah.
没错
Yeah.
嗯，其实确实…确实有些事
Well, actually there is... there is something.
呃，我刚才，嗯…
Erm, I was, er...
在想你是否愿意哪天
wondering if maybe you might wanna come have dinner
和我父母一起吃个饭？
with my parents some time?
呃...
Er...
呃，和你父母一起吃饭？
Er, dinner with your parents?
没错
Yeah.
你是这么想的？
And you'd like that?
是啊 呃，我是说，你知道，他们会这么想的
Yeah. Nah, I mean, you know, they would.
呃...
Er...
嗯，我觉得这个主意不太好
Yeah, I don't think that's a very good idea.
好的
Okay.
- 不行 - 抱歉
- Nope. - Sorry.
那个，能请你再考虑考虑吗？
Could you, er, maybe be persuaded?
就是，有没有可能，比如说，那个……
You know, could it, could it be, like, erm...
或许当作生日礼物？
a birthday present, maybe?
科林，你可别指望会收到生日礼物
I hope you're not expecting a birthday present, Colin.
不、不是的 只是……妈妈，
No, no, I'm not. It's, it's just... Mum,
她希望能正式见见你
she wants to meet you properly.
而且嗯……
And erm...
你知道，她病得挺重的，已经……
well, she's quite ill, you know, she's...
其实她快不行了
she's dying, actually.
但我不想为难你……
But I don't wanna force you to...
- 不是？ - 不是　
- No? - No.
好吧，听起来
Okay, well, it sounds like
你现在的做法不就是想为难我嘛
that is exactly what you're trying to do here.
- 不对，我不是　 - 你就是　你就是
- No, I'm not. - You are. You are.
对不起 我不是故意要惹恼你的
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
噢，你就算想惹恼我也做不到
Oh, you couldn't upset me if you tried.
你看起来挺生气的，所以...
You seem pretty upset, so...
所以...怎样？
So... what?
嗯？
Hm?
不可能！
No way!
因为他是个快乐的好伙伴
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
因为他是个快乐的好伙伴
我们大家齐声赞
♪ And so say all of us ♪
寿星快把蜡烛点亮！
Light the candle, birthday boy!
第一个到的请喝一轮！
First one in buys a round of drinks!
- 喔！ - 喔！
- Ooh! - Ooh!
- 真见鬼…… - 我靠！　　
- Fuckin' hell... - Fuck me!
啊！该死！
Argh! Fuck!
现在，把他弄上来 用网在下面接住他
Now, bring him up. Get that net under him.
继续……
Go on...
嘿！
Hey!
嘿，嘿，嘿！——继续，科林，你发现了什么？
- Hey, hey, hey! - Go on, Colin, what you got?
抓住他的胳膊……快点！
Grab his arm... come on!
保持你的……推他！
Keep your... push him!
我在努力，雷
I'm trying, Ray.
抱歉，我很抱歉 我……
Sorry. I'm sorry. I...
史蒂夫！
Steve!
我能借用凯文吗？
Can I borrow Kevin?
科林归你了
You can have Colin.
好！
Fine!
哎呀，亲爱的科林，你被替换下场了，老兄
Oh, dear, Colin, you've been subbed out, mate.
- 加油，凯文！ - 他来了……　
- Come on, Kevin! - Here he comes...