我爸写了小黄书（2019）

“坐在刚用吸尘器打扫过的房♥间里”
"...sitting around the edge of the recently vacuumed room."
是啊
Yeah.
“然后 他小心地 坐在了他的袜子上”
"He then... took care... to sit on his socks..."
“以免”
"...so as to not..."
哦天 你停顿的时候我总是有不好的预感
Oh, God, I don't like it when you pause.
-“把柔软的家具弄脏了” -哦
- "...soil the soft furnishings." - Oh...
嗯 嗯嗯 嗯 他是 他是刚拉过屎吗
Mm. Mm-mm, mm. Has... Has Ken done a poo?
-抱歉 他是想要去 -拉到身上了
- Sorry, because he's about to... - Shit himself,
-还是 拉到身上了吗 -我不知道
- or he has... Shit himself? - I don't know.
好的 好的 书上没说
Okay, okay. It doesn't say.
这不重要 对不对 不重要
It doesn't really matter, does it? Really doesn't matter.
-这无关紧要 -屎总是要来的
It's a moot point. Shit's coming either way.
是的
Right. Yep.
“德 马丁从来不甘落后
"Des Martin, never one to be caught out,
马上就脱得只剩下他的黑色丁字裤了”
immediately stripped down to his black thong."
哦
Oh!
我不管他写了几次了 总之这个并不流行
I don't care how many times he writes it, it's not catching on.
虽然 我觉得今晚这屋里的人好像很好这口
Although, in the room tonight, I felt like there was a lot of support for that.
我们猜测一下今晚到场的男性百分之八十都穿着黑色丁字裤
Let's say 80 percent of the men are wearing black thongs tonight.
“娜塔莎觉得会议进行得很好”
"Natasha thought the session was going rather well."
这什么标准啊
What was the criteria?
“贝琳达很高兴”
"Belinda was delighted."
“戴夫 威尔科克斯很困惑”
"Dave Wilcox was confused."
“但他很快就脱了衣服 因为他是个商人”
"But he promptly stripped off, for he was a businessman."
商人就是这样的吗 是吧 我猜是
And that's what they do, is it? Yeah. I guess.
“娜塔莎那让人看了就充满欲望的乳♥房♥♥”
"Natasha's fuckably-shaped breasts..."
啊
Aah?
别回答我这个问题 你们就自个儿想想
Don't answer this, either of you. Just think about it.
究竟是什么形状
What shape are they?
什么形状才会让人看了就充满欲望
What shape is a fuckably-shaped breast?
-大概是 -别回答
Is it like, a... Don't answer it.
“娜塔莎那让人看了就充满欲望的乳♥房♥♥
"Natasha's fuckably-shaped breasts
“摇荡着”
"echoed..."
咯噔 咯噔 咯噔 咯噔
Ga-doon, Ga-doon, Ga-doon, Ga-doon...
像是那种 撞球摆件
Like one of those, you know, those exec toys,
人们喜欢放在桌子上的那种 对 对 对 对
that people have on their desks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
“娜塔莎那让人看了就充满欲望的乳♥房♥♥摇荡着
"Natasha's fuckably-shaped breasts echoed the maturity
“映射出她黝黑圆润身躯
"of her tanned, rounded body,
以及姣好结实的腿的成熟”
and good, sturdy legs."
-结实的腿 -是的
- Sturdy legs, as well? - Yeah.
-那性感吗 结实的腿 -结实的腿
Is that sexy? Sturdy legs? Sturdy legs.
你会看着一个人想“哦 我打赌她能站上好几个小时”
Do you look at somebody like, "Ooh, I bet she can stand up for hours."
她看上去不需要一把椅子坐下来
She doesn't look like she needs a chair.
“这对德 马丁来说太过分了
"It was all too much for Des Martin.
“他必须要拥有贝琳达
"He simply had to have Belinda,
管他的团建会议呢”
team building session or no."
“他伸手拉下了老板的内♥裤♥”
"He reached over and pulled down the boss's knickers."
我喜欢这句话的表述
I just like that as a turn of phrase.
“你是不是以为自己是老板的红人了”
"You think you're the boss's knickers, don't you."
房♥间里的每个人都热切地盯着他的脸”
Everyone in the room gasped at his cheek."
-真好 -“他们等着
Very good. "And they waited.
兄弟们 他们是在等”
Boy, did they wait"
他应得的一巴掌吗”
for the slap on the face he so truly deserved."
“巴掌没有到来”
"It never came."
正义不复存在了吗
Is there no justice?
“贝琳达转过身来
"Belinda turned 'round
-“亲吻德 马丁”-哦
- "and kissed Des Martin..." - Aw.
-“深深地”-不错啊
- "...deeply..." - That's nice.
“亲吻他的老二”
"...on his cock."
-真厉害啊 -真厉害啊
- That's really cool. - That's really cool.
真是厉害 是我听过最厉害的东西了
That's cool. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard.
这肯定是最厉害的了吧
Isn't that the coolest thing ever?
要怎样才能深深地亲吻老二啊
How... How do you kiss someone deeply on the cock?
鬼知道
You tell me.
-把舌头伸进尿道里 我不知道 -哇 你居然要回答吗
Tongue down the urethra? I don't know... Oh, you're gonna answer?
-你刚刚是 哇哦 -只是猜测
You just... Wow. It's a guess!
这是你说的最有洛奇风格的东西了
That is the most Rocky thing you've ever said.
你回答得太快了 你怎么不试试啊
You answered so quickly. Why didn't you give it a beat?
-假装你刚刚想到了这点 -我刚刚就像这样
Pretend you've just thought of it. Here's what I like:
“把舌头伸进尿道里”
"Tongue down the urethra."
在你心里我是什么样子的啊
What a perfect impression of me.
“我刚刚就像这样 把舌头伸进尿道里”
"Here's what I like. Tongue down urethra."
“她张大了她的嘴巴 把他含了进去”
"She opened her mouth wide and took him in."
take sb. in本义为收留某人
-哦 -收留他
- Oh! - Took him in?
那是 “你冷吗”
That's... "Are you cold?"
“来吧 今晚你要来我这过夜吗”
"Come on. Do you need somewhere to stay for the night?"
别指了 我们知道你的嘴在哪 谢谢您了
Stop pointing so much. We can find it. Thank you.
“张大了她的嘴巴 把他含了进去
"...opened her mouth wide and took him in,
-“一次吞进”-哦 我的天啊
"in one gulp." Oh, my God.
她吞下了他老二吗 她是 像剥牡蛎一样把他老二剥下来了吗
Has she swallowed his cock? She's, like, shucked him back like an oyster.
“德 马丁发出了尖叫声”
"Des Martin screamed."
-我打赌他死了 -“我一点都不意外”
- I'll bet he did. - "I'm not surprised."
“我老二呢”
"Where's my cock?"
“我今早还见着它了”
"I had it this morning."
哦 天哪 哦 等等 抱歉
Oh, my God. Oh, hang on. Sorry. No.
我读错 了
I read it wrong... ish.
“德 马丁欣喜若狂地尖叫起来”
"Des Martin screamed in ecstasy."
哦 好吧 不 我不敢苟同 我不觉得他欣喜若狂
Oh. Okay. No, I beg to differ. I don't think he did.
这听起来 这听起来可怕啊
That sounds aw... It sounds horrific.
“然后” 我♥操♥
"And..." Fuck.
“白色的”
"...white...
“精♥液♥”
"...semen..."
“顺着贝琳达的喉咙往下流”
"...dribbled down Belinda's throat."
呕 好了
Eww-agh! Okay.
哦 天哪
Oh, God.
是不是
Would it be...?
我真的 我 我真的要顶不住了
I'm literally, I'm... I'm a wreck.
我真的要顶不住了
I'm a wreck of a man.
-你♥爸♥爸 -我知道
Your dad... Yeah. I know!
好的 你知道 你知道 我不该说的 你知道的
No, you know. You know. You know. I don't need to say it. You know, so...
-天呐 -现在
God. Is it...
是不是不该让你重新读一遍最后一行
a bad time to just ask you to reread the last line... just recap the last line?
-真要这样吗 -我不记得具体的用词了
Really? I can't remember the exact wording of the...
好的 没事的
Okay, fine.
“德 马丁欣喜若狂地尖叫起来
"Des Martin screamed in ecstasy
白色的精♥液♥顺着贝琳达的喉咙往下流”
as white semen dribbled down Belinda's throat."
嗯 再听一遍也没好到哪去
Mm. It's no better on second hearing.
它可能就这样了
I thought it might have mellowed.
帕特里克 欧哈姆林再也等不下去了
"Patrick O' Hamlin could wait no longer.
他健步一跃弹跳起来 清空了桌子”
With a mighty leap and a bound, he cleared the table..."
蜘蛛侠
Spiderman.
“抓住了娜塔莎的胸”
"...catching Natasha by the breasts."
她又不是攀岩墙
She's not a climbing wall!
“他把她扔到铺得精致的镶木地板上”
"He threw her onto the exquisitely laid parquet floors."
“因期待而扭动着
"There, writhing in expectation,
“帕特里克 欧哈姆林闯入她的阴♥道♥ 摩擦着她的阴♥唇♥”
"Patrick O'Hamlin entered her vagina and tickled her labia."
他“闯入了她”
He "entered her."
听上去就像他这样进去了
It sounds like he kind of went, like...
戴着个头戴式照明灯
with one of those head torches on.
嗯 嗯 里面很好
Yep. Yep. Good in here.
敲敲这 这是 这是隔墙
If you knock that down, that's... that's the partition.
骨盆墙可以移上来
That pelvic floor, that can come up.
“娜塔莎双腿张得更开了”
"Natasha opened her legs wider."
哦 她只能这样啊 毕竟有一个大男人在她里面
Well, she'd have to. There's a whole man up there, doing...
做着浩大的翻新工程
...quite an extensive renovation.
-“把帕特里克更深地拉进她猖獗的身体”-哦 真操蛋
- "And pulled Patrick even deeper into her rampant body." - Oh, shit!
所以外面只剩下一双鞋了吗 像这样 对
So it's just a pair of shoes? Like this. Yeah.
“与此同时”
"Meanwhile..."
-回到办公室里 -“与此同时”
Back at the office... "Meanwhile..."
“德 马丁将贝琳达的嘴