我爸写了小黄书（2019）

反正你不会比我糟了 所以
You can't be worse than me, so...
不过 请认真对待这件事 好吗
Um, but, come on, please take this fucking seriously, okay.
我非常认真地看待我的口音
I take my accents incredibly seriously.
你懂的 我 我认真准备了
You know, I... I prep them.
虽然轮到他们登场的时候总是并不被人欣赏
They're not always appreciated in their time, um...
但我们要认真的承诺 好吗 好好想一想
But we want real commitment, okay? Think the method.
我们要丹尼尔 戴 刘易斯 梅丽尔 斯特里普级别的演员
Daniel Day-Lewis, Meryl Streep-level, okay?
二者均是著名演员
-顺便问一句 你叫什么名字 -蒂姆
What is your name, by the way? Tim.
不 你是娜塔莎 拜尔斯
No! You're Natasha Biles!
-我是娜塔莎 娜塔莎 -老天
- Natasha! Natasha. - For God's sake!
-快点 娜塔莎 -蒂姆 蒂姆
Look alive, Natasha. Tim, Tim, Tim,
-蒂姆 蒂姆 哦 -这不会有好下场的
- Tim, Tim, Tim... Oh. - This will not end well.
好的
Okay.
我是 呃 娜塔莎 呃 我是主管
I am, uh, Natasha, and, uh, I'm in charge now.
我没想过会是这样的 蒂姆 但
I promised myself I wouldn't do this, Tim, but, um...
-哦 去你的 莱文 那简直是 -太精彩了
Oh, fuck off, Levine. That was... That was incredible.
-是中等水平 实际上 - 太精彩了
...middling! That was honestly... incredible.
-谢谢你 -谢谢
- Thank you for that. - Thank you.
我会去拜访你的 但请
I will call on you. But please...
不要就这么立起你的人设了 把他麦关掉
don't build your part in the meantime. You know. Switch his mic off.
不过非常感谢你的参与 非常感激
But, no. Thank you so much for being involved. We really appreciate it.
“娜塔莎把手放在贝琳达的
"Natasha put her hand on Belinda's...
膝盖上”
knee."
-你听到他们的期待了吗 -听出来了
- Did you hear that anticipation? - Yeah.
他们非常期待 瞧瞧 都是性♥饥♥渴♥吧
They're gagging for it, this lot. Look at them. They are so sex-starved.
大家好像都非常期待听到 她把手放在哪了
Everyone's like, where did she put her hand?
“没有退缩 没有反抗”
"Feeling no flinching or resistance..."
大家 这就叫做默许了
That's called consent, everybody.
什么 不 才不是
What? No. No, it's not.
这可不是默许
That's really not consent.
什么呀 不退缩不反抗就是默许吗
What, not flinching or resisting?
-咱们开个小会 -好呀
Do you want to have a conference behind my hands? Yeah.
你错得离谱
You're so wrong. Um...
如果仅仅是不退缩的话 那不算是默许吧
That's not consent, is it? If somebody just doesn't flinch.
这概念太模糊了 不是吗
Oh, it's so murky, isn't it?
-如果他们没有退缩 -如果没感觉不适的话 通常是
So if they don't recoil... If they're not sick, is normally my...
好了 好了
Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
我们继续 “她没有退缩 没有反抗
Um, so, "...feeling no flinching or resistance,
她顺着被皮革包裹的腿滑了上去”
she slid it up the leather-clad leg."
-什么滑上去了 哦 手 手滑上去了 -她的手
- Slid what up? Oh, the hand. The hand. - Her hand. Her hand.
呃 是被皮革包裹的椅子腿 还是贝琳达的腿
Uh, the leather-clad leg of the chair, or of Belinda?
-当然是贝琳达的 -好吧 抱歉 有皮革的东西太多了
Of Belinda! Okay. Sorry. There's a lot of leather.
“贝琳达张开了她的腿”
"Belinda opened her leg."
-一只腿吗 -是的 用的单数
One leg? Singular.
她就是 剖开了她的大腿
She just sort of, spatchcocked her thigh.
是的 是的
Yeah. Yeah.
“贝琳达打开了她的腿 让娜塔莎”
So, "Belinda opened her leg," um, "allowing Natasha..."
这太沙雕了 “ 得以 ”
This is so stupid. "...free access to..."
如果我要说得以脸上WiFi 我现在就走
If you say WiFi, I'm walking out.
我只是 那是我的底线了
I was just... that's just my... that's my line.
为什么 她底下可是信♥号♥♥满格呢
Why? She's got four bars up there. Just...
她的阴♥道♥已经严阵以待了
She's got a very connected vagina.
把你的邮件发进去 你就可以走了
Just put your email in, and you're away.
我想说 我本可以说是4G的 但我没有
I want you to know, at this point, I could say 4G-spot, but I haven't.
我就想让你们知道这点 我很仁慈了
I just want you to know that. I've taken the high ground. I've taken the high ground.
呃 不是WiFi 是“得以触碰她的腹股沟”
Uh, no, um... Uh, "free access to her groin."
-腹股沟 -是的 很性感吧
- Groin? - Yeah. Sexy, huh?
“用她那经验丰富的 手
"With an experienced... hand,
“娜塔莎解下了贝琳达的漆皮腰带
"Natasha undid Belinda's patent leather belt
然后拉下了”-你是在闹情绪吗
and pulled down..." Are you having an episode?
-为什么要那样的语气来读 -这真的难以启齿好吧
Why are you speaking like that? This is really fucking hard to read.
能不能把这句 就这句打到屏幕上 好吗
Can I just get this... just this one sentence up, please?
好的 看吧“贝琳达打开了她的腿 让娜塔莎得以触碰她的腹股沟”
So, look. So, "Belinda opened her leg allowing Natasha free access to her groin." Fine.
“用她那经验丰富的 手”
"With an experienced... hand"
“娜塔莎解下了贝琳达的漆皮腰带
"Natasha undid Belinda's patent leather belt
“然后拉下了
"and pulled, down...
-哦 天呐 -“ 她的裤链”
Oh, my God. "...her trousers's zip."
“裤链”
"Trousers's zip."
我们应该为这句喝酒 喝 喝一整天吧
We have to drink on that. Oh, drink. Drinks for days.
做梦都没这么好的吧
You couldn't dream it so good, could you.
“她的手 急速潜入贝琳达的下♥体♥”
"Her hand... dove into the vaginal area."
-哦 见鬼 -喔哦
- Oh! Bloody hell! - Whoa!
-真要命啊 詹姆斯 -听上去她
Fucking hell, James. Sounds like she's...
学得真像 我都听到你的破风声了
That was good. I heard the wind rush past you.
直直切入 不溅起一丝水花
Just straight in there. No splash.
哦 别 哦 抱歉
Oh. Don't... Oh, sorry.
别说没有水花
Don't say no splash.
抱歉 我说了才想起来
I heard it as I said it. Sorry.
“她的手 急速潜入贝琳达的下♥体♥ 两只
"Her hand... dove into the vaginal area, where two...
-手指” -哦 天哪
- fingers..." - Oh, God.
“ 拉开了 ”
"...pulled aside..."
-拉开了什么 -“脆弱的”
- What? - "...the flimsy..."
-脆弱的 啊 -“红色的”
Flimsy? Aah! "red...
-内♥裤♥”-噫
- panties." - Whew.
好吧 是这样 不 是那样
Okay. So, like... No, like that.
-不 是那样 -你在干嘛呢
No, like that. What are you doing?
你在 你在做一遍 你在做什么
What was... Just do that again. What was that?
我是在模拟拉开内♥裤♥的样子
Now, I was just hooking them, the panties, to the side.
好吧 我后悔让你再来一遍了
I mean, I would rather you didn't, but yeah.
-之后我又想 -那是什么
- But then I was thinking... - What is that?
-停下来 -那是什么
Stop doing that. What is that?
我还以为那是煽动性的举动
I thought that might be the inflammatory move. Um...
不 我想的是那种 情趣内♥裤♥
No, I was just thinking of those... sexy pants.
你懂的 那种中间打开的
Uh, you know the ones that are cut up the middle.
-那里有个家伙一副很懂的样子
- There's a chap, "I know. - Yeah."
好像他看过那种
Um... "Oh, I've seen 'em."
所以你可能是这样拉开 也可能是这样拉开
Um, so then you would do that, or like... that.
-别这样 你在干什 -喔
Stop! What are you...? Whoa.
-又不是拉开窗帘 -天 -是不是还要打声招呼
They're not curtains. Fucking hell. Morning!
你这更像是妈妈在ipad视频的样子 不是吗
That's more like Mum on an iPad, isn't it? That's like...
“两只手指拉开了脆弱的红色的内♥裤♥ 进入了
"Two fingers pulled aside the flimsy red panties, and entered
她的阴蒂”
her clitoris."
-你有问题吗 -你有问题吗
Yes? James, you have a question.
穿罩衫的女士 你有问题吗
The lady in the blouse. Yes?
是 我是说 虽然这不是我的专长
Yeah. Um, not my area of expertise,
嗯 但是
Yes. Yeah. But...
你不能进入阴蒂的吧
you cannot enter a clitoris?
-好了 -喔喔
- No, please. - Whoa, whoa.
詹姆斯 你坐下 你们这些人 你们应该懂的
James, sit down. You lot, you should know better.
不要像那样为常识鼓掌
Do not applaud basic knowledge like that.
尤其是他把这当成一个该死的问题说出来
Especially when he said it as a fucking question.
“你不能进入阴蒂的吧”
"You cannot enter a clitoris?"
令人担忧的是 这居然算是一种进步
That's actually progress, worryingly.
-是的 没错 -好的 我会把这点记进我的笔记本上的
Yeah, well, that's true. Yeah. I'll put that in the notebook.
-今天又学到了一些东西 -你还有笔记本
- That's another learning for another day. - Is there a notebook?
-就是记一些我学到的东西 -你的想法
You know, just the things I've learned. Musings.
-是的 想法 “不能进入阴蒂” -很好
Musings, you know, "You cannot enter a clitoris." Yeah. Great. Good.
“不退缩不代表默许”
"Not flinching is not consent."
“贝琳达轻柔地将她的内♥裤♥拉到屁♥眼♥以下”
"Belinda gently eased her trousers down her asshole."
屁♥眼♥
Asshole!
“拉到屁♥眼♥以下”
"Down her asshole."
她屁♥眼♥多大啊 还能拉到那下面
How big's her asshole? Down?
-屁♥眼♥ 屁♥眼♥ -要进到她屁♥眼♥下的夹层里吧
Asshole. Asshole... Into the lower mezzanine of her asshole.
-那还真不错啊 他就 -哇哦
- That's really cool. He's just... - Wow.
-他有屁♥眼♥对吧 -我爸写的什么玩意啊这是
He's got asshole in there, hasn't he? Dad, what the fuck? Like...
-这样不好吧 -你为他骄傲吗
That's not nice. Are you proud of him?
现在别问我
Not right now. No.
“贝琳达轻柔地将她的内♥裤♥拉到屁♥眼♥以下
"Belinda gently eased her trousers down her asshole,
“小心避免妨碍到娜塔莎有节奏的抚摸
"being careful not to impede Natasha's rhythmic touching..."
哦