攀登梅鲁峰（2015）

我当时甚至不敢相信 我的手还在身上
I couldn't even believe they were still connected to my body.
然后...
And then, um-
是的，发生的太多了
Yeah, it was a lot.
下降是很困难的 感觉花了一辈子
[Jeremy] It was really difficult to descend and felt like forever.
但是我来到拐角处
But I come around the corner...
在我看到过的最惨烈的
and way out at the very bottom...
一副雪崩场景中
of the biggest debris fields I've ever seen...
看到吉米坐在那里
is Jimmy sitting upright.
我没见过如此的场景
[Jimmy] I haven't seen a fuckin' slide- [Chuckles]
这场雪崩胜过了我见过的所有雪崩
[Jeremy's Voice] This avalanche has trumped all avalanches I've ever seen.
我当时只想到吉米死了
I couldn't help but think, "Jimmy's dead."
我不敢相信他活了下来
I just can't believe that he survived it.
天啊
Oh, boy!
哇
[Whines] - Whoo!
我们看到了一个奇迹
[Jeremy] We just saw a miracle.
是的，他们看到了一个奇迹
[Xavier] Yeah, they saw a miracle.
或者说我看到了超人现象,我不知道怎么回事
Or I saw superhuman effort. I saw somethin'. I don't know.
大部分人都无法从这样的雪崩中存活
[Jimmy] Most people don't survive those kinds of avalanches.
比这更小的雪崩也让人丧命
People die in a lot lesser avalanches.
所以我真的很幸运
So I got really lucky.
之后我消失了一阵子
Took off for a while. I disappeared off the map...
我需要一些时间思考
and I needed some time to really contemplate.
在雷南遭遇几乎丧命的意外后
[Grace] After Renan's near-death accident...
吉米受到了很大的打击
Jimmy was extremely shaken.
之后是四天后的雪崩
And then the avalanche four days later.
这让他重新审视他的生命
It really contributed to him reexamining his life.
他有了第二次机会 你要拿第二次机会做什么？
He'd been given a second chance, and so what do you do with a second chance?
吉米从几乎不可能的情况下活了下来
[Krakauer] So, Jimmy survived this thing that people don't survive...
他陷入了困境
and he was really messed up.
他的心理上陷入了混乱
He was in a bad way psychologically.
这让你怀疑你对一切的判断
And this makes you doubt your judgment about everything.
他从各种事情中抽出身
He bailed from various commitments.
什么地方也不去 当然不会去梅鲁峰
He's not goin' anywhere. He's certainly not goin' to Meru.
雷南无法去梅鲁峰 他也许一辈子都会成为跛子
Renan can't go to Meru. He's crippled, maybe for life. Seriously.
没人知道雷南是否 能恢复过来
You know, no one knew if Renan was gonna come out of this.
当时雷南和我在一起 他戴着颈托...
[Conrad] Renan and I got together. He had his neck brace on...
坐在懒人椅上
and he was in his La-Z-Boy chair.
当时是这样的状态
And he was kind of like this.
我说了些鼓励的话 比如”我们能行的“
I'm offering encouragement. I'm like, "Yes, we can do this.
”这样很好“
This is- This is good."
但是在我心里所想的其实是
Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that I might have to be-
”雷南，你的身体情况 不适合去梅鲁峰了“
it might be, "Renan, you're just physically are not prepared to go back to Meru."
我觉得康拉德是整个 旅程的驱动力
[Jenni] I think Conrad was the driving force for the entire trip.
一开始我不同意他去 但是这是对朋友的忠诚
At first I didn't want him to go back, but it was just that loyalty to Mugs...
想要完成那个一起做的梦
and wanting to fulfill that shared dream.
作为一名有过登山经历的人 我对此很理解
Having climbed mountains myself, I understood that.
尤其是当没有被人 登上那座山峰时
Especially if it's a first ascent. No one's been there before you.
在一些休整和思考过后
[Jimmy] After some time off and- and some serious contemplation...
不滑雪，不登山以及不靠近高山的想法
the idea of not skiing and not climbing and not being in the mountains...
简直是无法想像的
um, was- was too much to- to imagine.
我还没打算放弃它们
I just wasn't ready to give it all up.
离我们计划返回梅鲁峰 只剩下五个月了
[Renan] There was only five months until we were supposed to leave for Meru.
那是一个很严肃的时间点
It was a pretty serious point in time where...
我不管我是否受伤了
I didn't care that I was injured.
我只担心我无法再加入团队
I just cared that I wasn't going to be able to join the team again.
你的手能像这样吗？
Can I have you bring your arms up like so?
我知道对于我的朋友和家人来说 这是很困难的
[Renan Continuing] And I'm sure, to my friends and family, that was really hard...
因为他们只想我好好的
because they just wanted to see me okay.
让他们经历那些让我很愧疚
I just feel bad to put them through that.
其中一处骨折是这里
[Doctor] One of the fractures is this thing back here...
这地方是无法真正愈合的
which is so far displaced that that's not gonna really heal.
这里是第二处断裂带
This is the second fracture.
其中一个最大的问题是椎动脉
[Renan] One of the biggest question marks was the vertebral artery.
我失去了一半的脑供血
I'd lost half the blood supply to my brain...
攀登高山要面对的一个风险
and climbing at altitude, there's a high risk of...
就是血液供给的问题
some sort of blood clot getting through that artery...
这会让我有中风的危险
and giving me a stroke during the climb.
但是对于我来说 这冒险是值得的
But for me, it was worth the risk.
是我必须要做的事情
It was something that I had to do.
值得为此而死
It was worth possibly dying for.
我是说，在我心中，我的想法是
I mean, in my mind, I thought it was-
我认为他想回去的 想法是疯狂的
I thought it was crazy that he wanted to go back.
但是我意识到对于他来说 梅鲁峰是必须的
But I realize that Meru for him was something to hold onto.
对于他来说这是个梦想
For him, it was like, "This is my dream."
回去登上梅鲁峰
To come back and climb Meru...
向自己证明他有 回归的能力
and prove to himself that he had the capacity to make a comeback.
我对此很理解
And I- I understood it as well...
因为，我也需要一样的事情
because, in a way, I needed the same thing, you know.
脚踏车
The bike. - [Exhales Sharply]
雷南为了他的恢复 付出了很多心血
[Jimmy] Renan had put his heart and mind into recovering.
他取得的进步是...
And the way that he had progressed was...
几乎是毫无人性的
almost inhuman.
康拉德和我要回梅鲁峰
Conrad and I were gonna go back to Meru.
但是我们还是得对 雷南的事情拿个决定
But we still had to make a decision about Renan.
而雷南的去意已决
And Renan was... pretty adamant about going.
于是我们三个聚到了一起
It was this moment when the three of us got together...
然后吉米让雷南单独攀登
and Jimmy made the case for Renan to come along.
我不同意雷南继续登山
[Jenni] I was against Renan going on the climb.
我当时找到吉米说”你知道
I just confronted Jimmy and I said, "You know...
我对这事不同意
I am not keen about this.
你不能把雷南带到那里去
You know, you can't take Renan up there.
如果他死了呢？“
I mean, what if he dies?"
但是我不能叫吉米 直接把雷南踢出队伍
But I couldn't talk Jimmy into throwing Renan off the trip. [Laughs]
因为他完全入迷了
It's like he was totally dug in.
他只是说”如果雷南说他准备好了 那我就相信他“
He just said, flat out, "If Renan feels he's ready, I trust Renan."
我很担心雷南
[Jenni] I was worried about Renan.
但我也担心整支队伍的健康
[Jenni Continuing] But I was also worried about the well-being of the entire team...
因为...要跟一个虚弱的队友 继续往上攀，登陆地面...
because... just to go up onto a face like that with a weak partner...
如果在那又遇到了大风暴怎么办呢？
where, what if they got into another big, bad storm?
如果他们中有人
[Cracks] - [Jenni Continuing] Or what if one of 'em...
头撞到岩石
got wacked in the head with a rock...
他们就必须让他下去了，而且他们...
and they had to get him down off, and they-
你的队友必须是健康，强壮的
You need to have your partners be sound and strong.
你知道，当我们的朋友听说了这事 他们都觉得...
You know, when our friends heard about it, they were like-
他们觉得我们全都疯了
They thought we were completely out of our minds.
伙计，我不知道
Whew. Dude, I don't know.
不！不！你知道，这样是不对的
No! No! You know, that's not right.
这不像康拉德或是吉米
This isn't like Conrad, or Jimmy.
你知道，这些人，他们不会胡来 不会做蠢事
You know, these guys, they don't fuck around, they don't do stupid stuff.
如果他们做了，他们现在早就死了
If they did, they'd be dead by now.
有两三次，我的重度焦虑发作了
Two or three times, I had these deep anxiety attacks.
比如，当时是凌晨两点，忽然间
I mean, here it was, at 2:00 in the morning, and all of a sudden it was just like...
一波焦虑感就朝我袭来 我在那上面，我说，该死
this wave of anxiety came over me, and I'm- I'm up there, like, going, "Shit."
我还有2个孩子睡在楼上 我还有老婆
I've got two kids sleeping upstairs. My wife's there.
另一个孩子马上就要上大学了 我应该对他们负责
Another boy's off at college. I'm responsible for them.
我要回去，你要回去吗？
And I'm going, "You're going back?"
你知道，攀登的奖金很多
You know, the rewards of climbing are huge.
如果...如果你活了下来 如果你家人安然渡过了
If you- if you survive it, if your family comes out of it okay...
如果所有人都安然渡过了 那这攀登，就太值得了！
if everyone comes out, then climbing- climbing is so worth it.
问题是，我们都知道 通常你都不会安然无恙
The problem is, as we know, you don't always come out of it okay.
会有人死，然后你就无法权衡了 这是个艰难的两难抉择
People die. And then you can't justify it. That is the great dilemma.
康拉德比任何人都明白
Conrad knows this better than anyone.
看看马格斯的下场 还有康拉德的下一个搭档，梅克斯
Look at what happened to Mugs, and Conrad's next partner, Alex.
马格斯在92年去世时
[Conrad] After the death of Mugs in '92...
亚历克斯·洛维成为了我的主要攀登搭档
Alex Lowe became my main climbing partner.
亚历克斯是当时首屈一指的攀登者
Alex was the premier climber at that time.
康拉德是亚历克斯最爱的搭档
Conrad was Alex's favorite partner...
也是最好的朋友
and best friend.
康拉德对他来说正好合适
Conrad was just right for him...
因为他能跟上亚历克斯的步调
because he could match Alex's pace.