傻瓜跑进来（1997）

- What happens on three ? - Three !
[ Screaming ]
来了！
[ Knocking ] I'm coming !
露西，有些事你得解释清楚 (影集I Love Lucy的着名台词)
[ Imitating Desi Arnaz ] Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do.
哦，天啊，你们对他做了什么？
Oh, my God. What did you do to him ?
他跌进了仙人掌丛
[ Chuy ] He fell into some cactus.
很多的仙人掌 我们给他龙舌兰
A lot of cactus. We gave him the tequila for the pain.
-沙漠真令人印象深刻 -我告诉你来点特别的
I think the desert made a big impression on him.
I told you to make it special, idiot. Ow.
但不是说杀了他！
Not to kill him ! Se me salen de aqui todos !
滚！他妈的滚出去！ 你也是！快！
Get out of here. Get the hell outta here. You too. Come on.
宝贝？
Baby ?
甜心？
Honey ?
无论如何，别转身
Whatever you do, don't turn over.
我去拿镊子
I'm gonna go get the tweezers.
我很困惑
I'm confused.
若宝宝只看得到黑白两色 那为什么...
If babies can only see in black and white,
then how come that Barney guy is purple ?
-...巴尼是紫色的？ -那节目是给大点孩子看的
Dinosaurs come later, tontito.
等等，别坐在那里
Wait, don't sit there. I'm doing the floors next.
-我在擦地板 -又擦？
Again ? Mm-hmm.
我有读到这个 这就是所谓「筑巢期」，对吗？
Oh, wait a minute. I read about this. This is the "nesting period."
一定是吧 因为我怎么样都觉得不够乾净
It must be because I can't seem to get this place clean enough.
Come here.
[ Moaning ]
Ah, ah, ah ! Oh, I'm sorry. Poor baby.
-我很抱歉，可怜的宝贝 -我想还有一支在那里
Yeah, I think there's one still in there.
那我们得把裤子脱掉 我才能看清楚点
Then we'll just have to take these pants off...
so that I can take a closer look.
[ Zipper Unzipping ] Whatever you say, doctor.
-你怎么说怎么做，医生 -我忘了跟你说...
I forgot to tell you. I ran into an old friend of yours the other day.
...我遇到你的一个朋友 叫凯西什么的
Cathy... something. Cathy Stewart ?
凯西史都华？
真的？何时？
Uh-huh. Really ? When ?
上周，仙人掌那一天 我想她很妒忌
Last week, the same day as the cactus. I think she's jealous.
Oh, really ? Mm-hmm.
真的？
[ Doorbell Ringing ] I'll get it.
我去开
[ Che Barking ]
[ Ringing Continues ] Coming ! Ow.
来了！
-惊喜！ -妈！
Surprise ! [ Chuckling ]
爸！
Mom, Dad.
我先声明，这是她的主意
I wanted to call first. This was her idea.
凯西说我们得来这里...
I spoke to Cathy, and she said...
we had to get out here and see what you were up to.
-...看看你发生了什么事 -她很坚持，怎么了？
She practically insisted. What the hell is that ? [ Che Barking ]
松鼠？
A squirrel ? Alex !
-艾力克斯，是谁？ -我处理就好，宝...
Who is it ? I got it, hon--
这才是所谓的女管家
Now that is what I call a housekeeper.
我们来得不是时候？
Honey, did we come at a bad time ? No, no.
她正在清炉子和排油烟机...
She's just-- She's cleaning the oven, and the fumes are--
[ Both Chuckling ] Well, you're here.
你们来了，真的来了
You're really here. [ Chuckling ]
- Hi. - Hello.
-你要介绍一下我们吗？ -当然，这是...
Alex, aren't you going to introduce us ?
[ Stammering ] Yes, uh, yes, this is, uh,
uh--
-伊莎贝尔 -对对，是伊莎贝尔
- Isabel. - Isab-- Isabel, right.
Right. [ Mom ] Isabel.
很高兴见到你
It's very nice to meet you.
我是艾力克斯的妈妈，韦曼太太 这是韦曼先生
I'm Alex's mother, Mrs. Whitman, and this is Mr. Whitman.
哦，天啊，你们是他的父母
Oh, my God, you're his parents !
天，看看我，一团乱 终於见到你们真是太好了
Oh, look at me. I-I-I'm a mess.
W-Well, it's so great to finally meet you.
快请进吧
Please, come in. Come in. Oh, hon--
很友善
Very friendly.
你们一定累坏了，要喝什么吗？
You must be exhausted. Did you just get in ? Uh-huh.
Would you like something to drink ? Oh.
这是好主意，你何不去拿点喝的？
Isabel, that is a great idea. Why don't you get the drinks ?
我爱你 我得想想主意
I love you, and I'll think of something. Okay.
谁要冰脾酒？
- Who wants a cold beer ? - [ Dad ] Terrific. - I'd love one.
-太好了 -我想要一杯
我回来前别告诉他们任何事
Don't you dare tell them anything until I come back.
她棒极了
She is wonderful. There must be a lot of good help around here.
一定得到不少帮助吧 这么靠近墨西哥
I mean, just being so close to Mexico.
-真是热心的人们 -这是公♥司♥的房♥子？
My God, Alex, isn't this a company house ? Such a warm people.
你以为他们会付担得起 这样好的制景人员
You would think that they could afford a decent decorator.
爸妈，你们为不坐下？
Dad, Mom, why don't you sit down ?
这是什么？
What the hell is this ?
宝贝，什么地方不对劲吗？
Honey, is there something wrong ?
[ Sighs ]
对，我得告诉伊莎贝尔 开瓶器在哪里
Yes, I have to tell...
Isabel where the bottle opener is.
欧洲之旅如何啊？ 你们回来得真早
So, how was Europe ? You came back soon.
-欧洲？ -艾力克斯说你们整夏都会待在那
[ Isabel Chuckling ] Europe ?
Alex said you were gone for the summer.
你最好知道 我们恨死夏天的欧洲了
Oh, Alex, you know better than that.
We hate Europe in the summer. Too many tourists.
-太多旅客 -夏天的欧洲
[ Mom Chuckling ] Europe in the summer ?
至始至终你都在骗我
You lied to me.
All this time.
听着
[ Whispering Indistinctly ] No quiero que me digas una palabra.
Estoy harta de tus mentiras. Es todo lo que me has dicho, mentiras. Cobarde !
-那是什么意思？ -你是一个骗子加懦夫
What does that mean ?
That means you're a liar and a coward. That's what it means.
[ Door Slams ] It sounded so much prettier in Spanish.
用西班牙话说得来好听多了
容我？
Would you excuse me for a minute ?
看来有人要被炒了
Sounds like somebody's about to get fired.
Isabel, I was going to tell them. When ?
-我有打算要告诉他们 -什么时候？
-孩子出生后？ -我不想在电♥话♥里说
- After the baby was born ? - I didn't want to do it over the phone.
我爸会因此不跟我说话 但我仍然对他说出事实
My father won't even speak to me.
But I went there. I told him the truth.
你连打电♥话♥告诉他们 的种都没有
But you don't even have the balls to pick up the phone...
and just let them know what's going on.
是怎么样？
[ Yelling Indistinctly ] [ Sighing ]
你想离开？ 我对你来说不够好？
我的家人不像你的家人 我很少见到他们
My family's not like yours, okay ?
I never see them. I never talk to them. I don't have dinners--
藉口，藉口，藉口 你早应该告诉他们了！
Excuses, excuses, excuses ! You should've told them.
我是想亲自告诉他们 这对你有这么难理解吗？
I wanted to do it in person. Why is that so hard for you to understand ?
那正是你的好机会
Well, here's your big chance.
[ Footfalls ]
妈，爸...
Mom, Dad--
...我有些很有趣且令人兴奋 的消息要说
I have some interesting and exciting news.
我要你们见见 伊莎贝尔分特斯...韦曼
I'd like you to meet Isabel Fuentes...
Whitman.
哦，天啊
Oh, my God.
* [ Chattering ]
我让他们来 不代表我就得很高兴他们来
[ Tomas ] I let these people come, didn't I ?
That doesn't mean I have to like it.
-妈妈，做点什么吧 -为什么你这么固执？
Mama, do something. Why are you being so difficult ?
他们不是她的姻亲 因为她还没结婚
Because as far as I'm concerned, these people are not her in-laws
because she's not married.
若她没有结婚 她就没有这些姻亲
And if she's not married, she has no in-laws.
为什么我要跟这些陌生人 一起庆祝墨西哥独♥立♥纪念
So, why am I celebrating the Cinco de Mayo with complete strangers ?
他们是陌生人 是因为他不跟他们说话
They're only strangers because you won't talk to them. Pues no les voy a hablar.
汤玛士...
Tomas, either you act like the man I married,
除非你表现得像是我嫁的那人 不然今晚就跟狗睡吧
or tonight, you sleep with the dogs.
希望你们擦了很多防晒油
I hope you have plenty of lotion on.
沙漠的杀人阳光像镜子般 从水中反射
The desert sun kicks off this water like a mirror. Oh.
没有，我想只要待在荫凉处 我们就不会怎么样的
No, I think if we stay in the shade, we'll be fine.
随你们意吧 可惜你们没带泳衣
Suit yourselves. Pity you didn't bring your suits.
我们可没有想到这个
Yes, oh, yes. We didn't exactly plan for this.
天杀的，真热对吗？
Jesus Christ, is it hot ?
Uh, senor, I would like to tell you something.
先生，我有些话想说
我不认为这两个孩子 知道自己在干嘛
I do not believe these kids have a clue...
what they are getting themselves into.
我再同意不过了
I couldn't agree with you more.
-真的？ -千真万确
Really ? Absolutely.
婚姻是很严肃的承诺
Marriage is a serious commitment.
我倒认为那浪漫极了
Well, I happen to think that it's terribly romantic.
你在帮倒忙
Nan ! Hon, see, you're not helping.
我得同意她的看法
I have to agree with her, Richard.
你们男人都忘记在追我们时 有多愚笨
You men forget how foolish you once were chasing after us.
这不同，他们不同
[ Tomas ] This is different. They are different.
他们来自不同文化，不同世界
They come from a different culture, a different world.
没考虑到这个 这段婚姻很难行得通
It's hard enough to make a marriage work without adding to it.
听他说，艾力克斯 他说得没错
Listen to the man, Alex. He has a point.
我想他们很快就会 开始互相咒骂
I think they're gonna start spelling the big words soon.
-你们不能为我们高兴就好吗？ -我为你感到惶恐