脏话

其实我算不上一个"好人"
I'm not that good at a lot of stuff.
尤其是我♥干♥的这件事
Especially thinking things through.
因此这个复仇计划才会如此狗血
And that's why this plan was so shitty.
但我确实被伤到了 所以只能对如此
But my feelings were hurt, and I'm glad I at least did something about it.
对我来说作出糟糕的决定并不是一件多稀罕的事情
Making bad decisions is nothing new to me.
毕竟哥已经是四十岁的人了
After all, I live alone at 40,
我从事的工作是校对产品保证书
and I make my living proofreading product warranties.
不过几星期之前我辞职了
A few weeks ago, I took a break from that,
然后来到了这里
however, so I could do this whole thing.
不过讽刺的是我将要做的
And ifs pretty ironic that what I did
正是小孩才会做的事情
was exactly what a child would do.
而我发脾气确实只为引起别人的注意
I threw a tantrum just to get attention.
你一定非常自豪吧
You must be really proud.
我当然很自豪
I know I am.
而且一定很兴奋
And excited.
有机会见到"大人物" 对吧
Meet "The Big Man," right?
当然不管输赢都是很自豪的
But proud either way, of course.
烦人
Mm swans
他们好厉害呀 哪一个是你家孩子 我的是...
Aren't they amazing? Which one's yours? Mine's...
哥们儿 谢谢你了
Buddy, no, thank you.
肿么了
What's that?
闲聊就到这吧 我只想在上场之前嘴巴里塞点东西
This chat. I'm all set. I'm just trying to get some food in my face before
我马上要上台了 好不
I get stuck up on that stage, okay?
哎呀是我不好 你一定是今天的主持吧
Right. My bad. You must be our host for today.
不 我不是
No, I'm not.
老子是冠军
I'm the winner.
大家注意了 第十五届拼写大赛
Everyone, it's time for the 15th
地区分赛现在开始
Annual Regional Spelling Bee to begin.
各位选手请就座
Take your seats, please. All of our noble contestants.
都请上台座好了 快 快
Please take your seats up on the stage. Hurry, hurry!
挺顺利的哩
We're on schedule.
等安静下来我们就可以开始了
I love the way the hush just comes over the crowd before we start. Here we go.
你上来做什么 怪蜀黍
What are you doing on the stage, weirdo?
是你的椅子叫我上来帮忙的
Your chair called me for help.
它说呀 "救命啊 这孩子太重了"
It was saying, "Help me. It's so heavy."
难道你没听见么 我都听见鸟
You didn't hear it? I heard it.
对不起啊 先生
I'm sorry, sir.
你怎么坐到参赛选手里面去了
Those seats are for the competitors only.
我没坐错位置呀
Great. I'm in the right spot.
特鲁比先生 我不会同意的
Mr. Trilby, I won't allow it.
你没有任何参加我们拼写大赛的资格
You're not eligible in any fashion, way, shape or manner.
请你翻到
Page 39
金羽笔全国拼写大赛规章的第39页
of the Golden Quill National Spelling Bee rulebook.
看看第24条下的B注解 是这么说的
This is rule number 24. This is sub-point B. This is a quote.
"参赛者不能是8年级以上的学生"(相当于我国初二)
"The speller must not have passed beyond the 8th grade"
"或者在2011年2月1日之后出生的"
"on or before February 1st, 2011"
这是你们官方机构自己制定的游戏规则
That is a rule written by the governing institute.
随便你瞅我的学籍证明
And if you want, you can continue to ogle my transcript,
千万不要再把它弄皱咯
just please don't wrinkle it any further.
不过你看呀 不幸的是
But you can see there, unfortunately,
我确实8年级没有毕业撒
I have not passed the 8th grade
而且我也满3岁了呀
on or before February 1st. Not ever.
确实是这样 但是...
That may be, but...
你听我说先生 如果你还是不认为我符合参赛条件
But, sir, I can go on. I can go on and on and on.
赛规第83段
There are 83 paragraphs,
第581个注解
581 lines of rules in the rulebook,
我向你保证 我符合你们规则下的每一个条件
but let me assure you, I'm compliant with every single one of them.
这个拼写大赛只是为孩子们准备的啊
The spelling bee is meant for kids.
不适合一个连8年级都没毕业的成年人
Not adults that couldn't even graduate the 8th grade.
尼玛
Oh, boy.
现在不跟哥讲规则了 开始欺负人了是不是
Are we past the rules and into the insults now?
-开始欺负人了是不是 -对不起哦 你是成年人啊
-Is it insult time? -I'm sorry, but you're an adult.
是不是想
Because your potholder vest
让你的抹布马甲点个火 你准备好了吗
is about to take heavy fire. Are you ready for that'?
行了 闹够了没有 这只是个争议问题而已
You know what? Enough. This is all just a moot point.
每个参赛选手必须是通过
Every contestant must be sponsored
国家认可的新闻机构赞助才能参赛的
by a nationally-recognized news service.
-晓得不 -我晓得啊
-The end. -Mmm, I understand.
这事还没完呢
That doesn't end the conversation.
-给你们个惊喜哈 -哈喽啊
-Guess what? -Hello.
-来的正是时候 -你们肿么了哦
-Perfect timing. -What's going on here?
她又是谁啊
Who is this?
她是我的赞助人啊 在国家认可的新闻机构工作的
This is my sponsor from a nationally-recognized news service.
珍妮·维京 我在无限点击新闻社工作
Jenny Widgeon. The Click and Scroll.
什么来着
The what?
什么碗糕 好像是电脑什么的
What's that? Is that something on the computer?
是的 我们是一家数字媒体
Yes, we're an online paper.
也就是说是一个国家认可的新闻机构
Said differently, a nationally-recognized news service.
他们不让我参赛
They don't want to let me participate.
好的 去办吧 哦我喜欢你的马甲
Go ahead. Set it in motion. I love your vest.
他是个成年人
He's an adult.
估计再过一个半小时
In about a half an hour,
你们将收到一张法♥院♥出具的临时限制令
you're gonna be receiving a temporary restraining order
和一张让大赛延迟举♥行♥的禁止令
and a preliminary injunction prohibiting the continuation
除非我们把目前的麻烦解决了
of this competition until we clear this whole legal matter up.
不过对我自己来说
Plus, and this is a selfish note for me,
停赛会让整个故事更有料
it's gonna make one hell of a story.
你这个强盗竟敢劫持我们的比赛
How dare you try to hijack this spelling bee contest!
你叫我什么
What did you call me?
-强盗 怎么了 -强盗 是么
-Hijack. Yes. -Hijack. Yeah.
我现在又成强盗了哈
I'm a hijacker now?
那你还诽谤我了呢
You're on the hook for defamation, too.
等着我的律师
My attorneys will be in touch
找你俩吧 行了咱走吧
with both of you. Let's get out of here.
不过友情提醒下哈
But before we go, actually,
反正我很开心看见你们两个逗比
I'd like to watch the both of you
给这些可怜的娃儿们
address those poor, wonderful children
和他们鞍前马后的父母
and their very supportive parents
解释他们
when you tell them
今年要错过全国联赛了
that they have no shot at the National Bee
更没机会看到那个"大人物"了
or an opportunity to meet "The Big Man."
我想他们苦逼的表情肯定很好玩
That I want to see. They're gonna be crestfallen.
我知道有个娃他爹
I know of one father in particular
正好想了一个打高尔夫的新玩法
who's gonna have to find a whole new way to empty out his ball bag.
好了我们进去吧 欺凌弱小的优先 请带路吧
Let's do it. Bullies and insulters first. You lead the way.
那是想让我这个白♥痴♥强盗先走哇 我带路好了
Or should I go first, the idiot hijacker? Should I lead?
-没人骂你白♥痴♥好不 -你们自己决定吧
-No one called you an idiot. You lead. -You guys decide.
你们慢慢商量吧 正好让我猥亵几个参赛的小盆友
While you decide, I'm gonna bang out a couple of prayers.
反正你们两头不讨好
Which way is Mecca?
油腻的
Oleaginous.
油腻的
Oleaginous?
油腻的
Oleaginous.
油腻的
Oleaginous.
能给我个提示吗
Can I have the definition, please?
"有原始性质和质量的油"
"Having the nature or qualities of oil,"
还有"油腻 虚假的 虚情假意的"
or "Unctuous, fawning, smarmy."
油腻的
Oleaginous.
是不是有拉丁词根"olea" 橄榄油的意思
Does it contain the Latin root olea, meaning "olive"?
是的
It does.
油腻的 能再解释下吗
Oleaginous. Can I have the part of speech?
这是个形容词 对吗
It's an adjective. Am I right?
是的
Yes.
-还有别的发音吗 -没有
-Any other pronunciations? -No.
油腻的
Oleaginous.
油-腻-的
O-L-E-A-G-I-N-O-U-S.
-正确 -太棒了
-That is correct. -We got it.
大家好呀
Hi.
开小差
Absquatulate.
开-小-差
A-B-S-Q-U-A-T-U-L-A-T-E.
正
That's...