都是陌生人（2023）

是的 就是那回
Yeah, that was it.
你当时想去哪里来着
Where were you hoping to go?
我不知道
I don't know.
伦敦吧
London.
伦敦吗
London?
还有那回你一直走到花♥园♥的尽头
Or there was that time that you got as far as the bottom of the garden,
却被一个旧牛奶瓶割伤了拇指
but then you cut your thumb on an old milk
你就怯怯地跑回来
bottle, and you came running back up all sheepish,
衬衫上全是血 一直敲着窗户
blood all over your shirt, and you were banging and banging
想让人放你进去
on that window to be let in.
是啊
Yeah.
就是这儿
There it is.
就是这儿
Just.
是啊
Yeah.
唔
Hmm.
他们说这样的生活会非常孤独的
They say it's a very lonely kind of life.
现在已经没人这么说了
They don't actually say that anymore.
那你不孤独吗
So you're not lonely?
如果我真的很孤独 那也不是因为我是同性恋
If I am, it's not because I'm gay.
不是因为那个
Not really.
是吗
Not really?
哦 天啊 还有那些可怕的疾病呢
Oh, God, and what about this awful, ghastly disease?
我看过那些广♥告♥
I've seen the adverts on the,
新闻里还有墓碑上的
on the news and with the gravestone.
我应该担心这些吗
Should I be worried about that?
不用啊 天哪
No. Jesus.
现在一切都不同了
Everything is different now.
一切都不同了
Everything is different.
那就是我还不知道这些变化
Well, I guess I wouldn't know about that.
你的衣服应该干了
Your clothes will be dry now.
你愿意就把这些烙饼带走吧
You can take these flapjacks with you if you want.
我也不吃
I won't be eating them.
怎么了
What's wrong?
嗯 我没事
Um, I'm okay.
只是 刚刚有点发冷
Just, just got a bit of a chill.
真的吗
Really?
你很热
You're hot.
是的
Yeah.
我只是 我只是
I was just, I was just,
刚刚被雨淋湿了
I just got caught in the rain.
好吧
Okay.
要不我给你洗个热水澡吧
Well, why don't I run you a hot bath?
我奶奶说没什么是洗个热水澡解决不了的
My nan says there's literally nothing a hot bath couldn't solve.
我其实不太喜欢洗澡
I don't really like baths.
滚蛋吧
Fuck off.
谁不喜欢洗澡啊
Who doesn't like baths?
不用在我面前害羞
You don't need to be shy around me.
好吧
Yes.
说起来容易做起来难
That's easier said than done.
你是想让我闭上眼睛吗 - 是的 闭上吧
Would you like me to close my eyes? - Yes, please.
这样最好
Better.
我今天一直在想你
I've been thinking about you a whole heap today.
唔
Hmm.
我在想周五晚上和你一起看烂综艺
I was thinking about watching crappy TV with you on a Friday night.
嗯嗯
Mm-hmm.
坐在沙发上吃外卖♥♥
Eating takeaway on your sofa.
还有那些在我出生之前就播出了的老剧
Watching old episodes of Top of the Pops from before I was born.
也想到了别的事情
Thought about something else, too.
想着跟你做♥爱♥ 操你
Thought about fucking you.
真的吗
Really?
是的
Yeah.
谁上谁下 无所谓
You fucking me, I don't really care which.
你呢 你想吗
Are you into that?
嗯
Yeah.
如果你不想也没关系
It's okay if you're not real.
也没必要这么热衷于做♥爱♥
Don't need to be into fucking.
因为我也很久不会做♥爱♥
I wasn't for the longest time.
因为那些显而易见的原因
For obvious reasons.
什么显而易见的原因
Obvious reasons?
因为我觉得如果我♥操♥了别的人
I felt that if I fucked anyone,
我就会死的
I'd die.
可能你很难想象
It's probably pretty difficult for you to imagine.
是啊
Yeah.
嗯 这也不是全部
Well, not all.
嗯
Yeah.
你那天说你很少见到你♥爸♥爸
You said the other day you don't see your dad much.
是啊
Yeah.
那你妈妈呢
How about your mom?
一样
Yeah, same.
为什么
How come?
他们知道你是吗
They know you're queer?
嗯 当然咯
Yeah, of course.
你没关系吗
Are you okay with this?
嗯
Yeah.
没什么
Okay.
但是他们有点儿老派
But they are old-school.
应该比其他人更难接受一些
Probably less okay than everyone's meant to be.
嗯
Yeah.
他们差不多已经习惯了
They’ve got used to it, sort of.
别说太多就行
Just don't say too much.
你可以说我已经
You could say that I have
漂流到边缘了
drifted to the edge.
或者几乎到了边缘
Or right up to the edge, almost.
要越出边缘了
Over the edge.
什么意思
What's that mean?
嗯 我就是整个家庭的边缘人物
Yeah, I'm the edge of the family.
我姐姐已经有了孩子
My sister and her kids.
我哥哥刚刚结婚
My older brother just got married.
他们都有自己在中心位置的一席之地
They've all got this spot in the center.
没什么的
That's okay.
为什么呢
Why is it okay?
因为
Because.
我不常回家
I don't go home much.
你回家会觉得难过吗
Does that make you sad?
是的
Yeah.
嗯...
Um...
反正我觉得这是不可避免的 真的
No, I think it's just inevitable, really.
为什么
Why?
嗯...
Um...
在自己的家里 我一直感觉自己像个陌生人
I've always felt like a stranger in my own family.
然后...
And then...
出柜只是给一直存在的差异
coming out just puts a name to that difference
加上了一个名字
it's always been there.
是的
Yeah.
永远也不会结束
It's only endless.
这不是任何人的错
It's not really anyone's fault.
怎么了
What's wrong?
很有趣
It's funny.
现在的情况已经很多了 - 当然
Things are better now. - Of course they are.
几乎不需要什么就能让你回想起那时候的感觉
It doesn't take much to make you feel the way you felt.
又回到那里 反反复复
Back there again. Skin all raw.
我还热吗
Am I still hot?
有一点
It's a little.
你要留下来过夜吗
You gonna stay the night?
她很快就回来了
I'm sure she won't be long.
没关系
It's okay.
我只是想和她谈谈
I just wanted to talk to her.
我知道
Yeah, I know you did.
这是你爷爷最喜欢的
This was your granddad's favorite.
我不太喜欢它 但是…
I never really liked it much at the time, but...