百万碎片

-五个盘子 -五点
- Five plates? - Five o'clock.
-五点 -是 我明白了
- Five o'clock. - Yeah, I get the concept.
-我一直在找你 -怎么了
- I've been looking for you. - Why?
拆开了
It's been opened.
不然呢 你在戒毒所里
What do you expect? You're in rehab.
失败是一次机会
Failure is an opportunity.
如果你怪罪别人 会没有止尽
If you blame others... there's no end to blame.
毫无所求
Demand nothing...
奉献所有
and give all.
怎么了
What's going on?
我 我害怕了
I'm just... I'm just scared.
为什么
Why's that?
我 我要走了 我...
I'm... I'm... I'm leaving and... and I...
我知道我没有改过自新
I... I know that I'm not better.
在这里我感觉很安全 但我...
I just... I just feel safe here, but, uh, I...
我知道我肯定会
And I know I'm gonna do
做蠢事 最后回到监狱里
something stupid and end up back in prison.
你为什么会这么想
Why do you think that?
你觉得我坚强吗
Do you think I'm strong?
这是 这是我女儿的号♥码
Here's my... here's my daughter's phone number.
-约翰 -不不不
- John. - No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no.
我只想让你 让你打给她
I... I just want you to... I want you to call her...
告诉她 她爸爸爱她
and tell her that her father loves her.
告诉她 我尽力了
And that... I tried.
我真的尽力了 好吗
I really tried, okay?
我会打的
I'll do that.
你真是个好哥们
You're such a fucking cowboy.
那是迈尔斯·戴维斯的新室友
Yeah... that's Miles Davis's new roommate.
靠
Shit.
十点
Ten?
这个瘾可真♥他♥妈♥可悲啊
That is one sad motherfucking addiction.
你根本想不到 伙计
You got no idea, buddy.
坐吧 孩子 给你介绍几个人
Have a seat, kid. I want you to meet somebody.
这位是马蒂
This is Matty.
等等 我认识你 你是那个羽量级拳击冠军
Wait, I know you. Yeah, you're the Featherweight Champ.
现在算是个胖墩级冠军吧 不过就是他
More like the chunky-weight champ now, but yeah, same guy.
滚吧 李 我这个胖墩级冠军
Fuck you, Lee. The chunky-weight champ
还是能把羽量级的打趴下 是吧
can still knock a featherweight the fuck out, you know that.
说不准 伙计 我看你已经不如当年了
I don't know, buddy. I think those days are over.
-才没有 -但让我赚了不少钱
- Nah. - Sure made me a lot of money, though.
-没错 -是啊 孩子们怎么样
- Damn right. - Yeah. How are the kids?
他们不和我说话了
Yeah, well, they don't talk to me no more.
现在你来这里了 这才是重要的
Well, you're here now. That's all that matters, y'know.
迈尔斯·戴维斯是美国著名爵士乐小号♥手
你真的叫迈尔斯·戴维斯吗
So is your name really Miles Davis?
是的 我出生证明上就是这个
Yes, it is. It's on my birth certificate.
还有我吹的不是小号♥ 是单簧管
And I don't play the trumpet. I play the clarinet.
好吧 可惜你吹得不好
Yeah, shame you can't play as good, though, huh?
-所以我是法官不是音乐家 -你是法官
- Well, that's why I'm a judge, not a musician. - You're a judge?
他们居然让我和法官同住
They put me in here with a fucking judge?
你坐过牢吗
Been to prison, or something?
我面临几项指控 保释中逃了
I skipped bail on a bunch of charges,
但我不会坐牢
but I'm not going to prison.
那就是发了逮捕令抓你
Got warrants on you, then.
好吧 法官阁下
Okay, Your Honour.
我
I...
偷车 袭♥警♥ 把一个小子揍得半死
flipped a car, hit a cop, kicked the shit outta some kid,
放火烧了我邻居的新车
set fire to my neighbour's new Jag, I...
贩毒 偷窃 各种蠢事
sold drugs, theft. You know, dumb shit.
我不会和你争论的
You won't get an argument from me.
抱歉 法官阁下 我能告退了吗
I'm sorry, Your Honour, can I be dismissed?
你要去哪
Where are you going?
我要援引第五条修正案拒绝回答
I think I might plead the fifth.
你会惹上麻烦的
You're gonna get in trouble.
♪ Candy says... ♪
Candy Says - The Velvet Underground
♪ I've come to hate my body ♪
♪ And all that it requires ♪
♪ In this world... ♪
♪ Candy says... ♪
♪ I'd like to know completely ♪
♪ What others so discretely ♪
♪ Talk about ♪
♪ I'm gonna watch the bluebirds fly... ♪
♪ Over my shoulder ♪
♪ I'm gonna watch them ♪
♪ Pass me by ♪
♪ If I could walk away from me... ♪
-怎么了 -我...不能
- What? - I... I can't.
你不必和我做
You don't need to do that with me.
可如果我想呢
But what if I want to?
我不能 我不能再继续了
I can't. I can't go any further.
你嫌我脏
You think I'm dirty.
不 不是
No. No, I don't.
我从没做过
I... I've never done this.
不嗑药时做
Sober, that is.
操 我也没有
Fuck. Neither have I.
信任是生活中最难做到的
Trust is the motherfucker of life.
信任我们自己
Trust... in ourselves,
信任我们的价值 家庭及爱人
in our... our worthiness, our family, our loved ones,
更别说...信任与脑子现有的
let alone some... foreign process and program
酒瘾是疾病
源头
症状
复发
模式完全不同的陌生治疗
that's insanely different from your current brain's paradigm,
对吧
right?
并非每个人都能第一次就明白
Not everybody gets it the first time.
我就不是
I know I didn't.
对
No.
但脱瘾治疗有效
But the steps work.
真的有效
They do.
恢复是个过程
Recovery is a process.
罗伊呢 他完成了脱瘾治疗吧
Well, what about Roy? He did the steps, right?
他就像年度模范学生 然后他...
He's like a model student of the fucking year, and then he just--
罗伊被诊断患有躁郁症
Roy is diagnosed bipolar,
他被转移到别的病区了
and he's been moved to another unit.
-对 那不一样 -我过去就像你一样
- Yeah, that's different. - Look, I was like you.
我就是那种会觉得
I was one of those guys that was, like:
"瞧瞧这些戒酒会混♥蛋♥
"Look at these AA motherfuckers.
他们感恩一切
They're all grateful for everything.
我想掐死他们"
I wanted to strangle 'em."
-没错 -我第一次也是那样
- Yeah! - I was like that the first time, too.
没错 大家都是
Yeah, it's mutual.
但我信任这个治疗
But I trusted in the process.
努力完成每一步
I worked the steps.
酗酒是种疾病
Alcoholism is a disease.
不 阿尔兹海默症是病 癌症是病
No. Alzheimer's is a disease. Cancer... is a disease.
那些你无法控制 对吧
And you can't control that, can you?
你不会说
You don't say,
"给我一堆帕金森 一剂癌症"
"Hey, give me a shitload of Parkinson's and a shot of cancer,"
-对吧 -但你失去控制了
- do you? - But you lost control.
我说的正是这点
I'm talking about that. Exactly.
我选择喝酒 我选择吸毒
I choose to fucking drink. I chose to take crack.
患上不想要的可怕疾病
You can't help it if you got a god-awful fucking disease
这是你控制不了的
you don't want anymore.
你想摆脱疾病
Y'know, and you wanna get rid of it.
明白我的意思吗
You see what I'm saying?
-算你对 -这是决定 是选择
- I'll give you that, yeah. - It's a decision. It's a choice.
我要或不要
Do I or don't I, y'know?
我要做酒鬼继续荒废人生
Am I gonna be a dumb-shit addict and continue to waste my life,
还是要...
or am I gonna, be...
-戒酒 -没错 戒酒
- Sober? - Right, sober, y'know?
我问你 詹姆斯
Well, let me ask you this, James.
你造成的破坏
All the damage you've done.
你造成的伤害
All the harm you've caused.
是你选择的吗
Did you choose that?
不是
No.
你小时候的雄心壮志就是...毁了家庭
So it wasn't your childhood ambition to... destroy your family?
-毁了事业 -当然不是