哈啦夏令营（2015）

这不会简单的
It won't be easy.
谁说它会呢
Who said it would be?
好的 我今晚就约见艾克森思达的法律团队
Okay. I'll set up a meeting with Xenstar's legal team for tonight.
与此同时
In the meantime,
你俩要躲起来
you two should lay low.
隐蔽起来 乔装打扮
Stay out of sight,maybe change up your look.
你永远都不知道谁在监视谁
You never know who's spying on who.
希望现在他们还没发现我们
Hopefully now they won't find us.
他们不会的 我给了前台的接待员假名字
They won't. And I gave the clerk at the front desk fake names.
我们是阿奇博尔德 杜稀奇夫妇
We're Mr. and Mrs. Archibald Doohickey.
哦 我的天 阿奇博尔德 杜稀奇
Oh, my God! Archibald Doohickey?
我必须短时间内想出点啥啊
I had to think of something fast.
阿奇博尔德 杜稀奇是我的中名
-Archibald Doohickey is my middle name!
政♥府♥看到这个 他们就会知道是我
If the government sees that,they're gonna know it's me.
-对不起 我不知道啊 -因为你没问过
-I'm sorry. I didn't know.-Because you didn't ask!
我的啥 啥你都不知道
You don't know anything about me!
你知道为什么营地的柴火对我这么重要么
Do you know why Camp Firewood is so important to me?
为啥
Why?
这些辅♥导♥员 木屋 营员 场地 宿舍
Those counselors, the cabins, the campers,the fields, the bunks...
是我除了自己家以外
It's the only family I know,
唯一的家
other than my own family.
你就像个洋葱 贝斯
You're like an onion, Beth.
我要把你一层层剥开才能看到你的内心
I just keep peeling back layers to see what's inside.
刺痛我的面颊让我流泪
And it stings my cheeks and it makes me cry,
但是和三明治一起吃又是这么美味
but it tastes so good on a sandwich.
这是不对的 我和米奇在一起
This is wrong. I'm with Mitch.
这是错的
This is wrong.
不不不 他是罐装蔬菜
No, no, no. He's a can of vegetables.
他不需要知道
He doesn't have to know.
我一直在想你跟我们说的话
I keep thinking about what you told us.
关于我可以把一罐可乐塞嘴里又咬下去
About how I can fit a can of Coke into my mouth and bite it
我毫发无伤 可乐喷洒出来 而且在适当的阳光下
and spray Coke everywhere without hurting my gums or teeth and in the right light,
你可以看到彩虹
you can see a rainbow in it?
不 是埃里克
No, about Eric,
那个摇滚明星几年前来到这个营地然后被烧死了
the rock star who went to this camp a few years ago then burned out.
我先去查看他的小屋 你想一起去么
I wanna check out his cabin. Will you go with me?
啥 真的么 没门
What? For serious? No way.
那地方绝对在闹鬼 这事我很肯定
That place is definitely haunted. That's one thing I know for a fact.
去了我就让你摸我的奶
I'll let you touch my boob after.
-哇哦 哪个奶 -左边的
-Whoa! Which boob? -Left.
-我左边还是你左边
-My left or your left?
-我的 -没门 我的
-Mine. -Nuh-uh, mine.
那是我右边的奶
-That's my right boob.
你要不要我陪你去吧
Do you want me to go with you or not?
你这辈子还想不想摸个奶吧
Do you want to touch a boob for the first time in your life or not?
好吧 算了 说定了 我们走
Yeah, fine. Deal. Let's go.
你知道 我烧菜不是很在行
You know, I'm not much of a cook,
但是贝蒂巴克利给了我这个意大利面菜谱
but Betty Buckley gave me this pasta recipe.
可口
Yummy.
你也很可口
You're yummy.
我很喜欢你这儿的风格
I really like what you've done with the place.
嗯 这个老屋子
Hmm. This old thing?
我就是从城里带了些懒人沙发和熔岩灯
Well, I just brought up some bean bags and lavas from the cit-ay.
告诉我 苏西
Tell me, Susie,
你到熔岩里过么
have you ever "bean" in "lava"?
再来点酒
-More wine?
呃
Um...
呃 克劳德
Uh, Claude,
我觉得你和我想法不同
I feel like you and I might not be on the same page.
知道么 我跟别的女孩儿不一样
You know, I'm not like most girls.
我不会像那些下百老汇的小碧池给你来个口♥活♥
I'm not some off-Broadway hussy that's gonna give you a BJ for a part.
不不不不 谁说的
No, no, no, no, no. Who said that?
谁说口♥活♥了 不不不不不
Who said BJ? No, no, no, no, no.
你与众不同
You are a rare breed.
像你一样的女人应该被赞扬
And a woman like you deserves to be praised.
你看 苏西 我很喜欢帮你做剧场的工作
You know, Susie, I would really love to help you with your theatrical career.
哦 我很感激
Oh, I would be so grateful.
因为 你知道
Because, you know,
我觉得我想做个导演或编舞
I think that I want to be a director/choreographer.
但是我又觉得我想当制♥作♥人或编剧或演编导全能
But I'm also thinking I want to be a producer/writer/triple-threat.
我是说 我不知道我是不是想当演员
I mean, I don't know if I want to be an actor,
但是机会合适的话
but if the right part came along--
-你知道 --嘘 苏西 别说了
-You know-- -Shh, Susie, shh...
我们来一炮吧
Let's have sex now.
克劳德 我是和本在一起
Claude, I'm with Ben.
我是说 不是说我们真的啪啪啪
I mean, not like we actually have sex...
可怜的宝宝
You poor child.
不 不是你想的那样 我们都想啪啪
No, it's not like that. We both want to.
但是从来没有合适的机会
It's just we can never find the right time
别说了
Shh.
现在就是合适的机会
Now is the right time.
我就是你的本
I will be your Ben.
脱了吧
Let's get naked.
好啊
Okay.
我觉得不舒服 但是我觉得你是为了我好
I feel uncomfortable, but I know that you have my best interest at heart.
新郎在哪
Where's the groom?
牛牛牛牛 不要跑
Oxy, oxy, oxen freeze!
抓住你了
I gotcha!
啊
-Ahh!
盖瑞 盖瑞
Gary! Gary!
乔纳斯疯了
Jonas has lost his mind!
他要杀了我
He's trying to kill me.
你得把我藏起来
You got to hide me.
你得把我藏起来
You got to hide me.
我不想死
I don't want to die!
好吧 别出声 - 我不想死
All right. Shh! -I don't want to die!
乔纳斯
Jonas.
维克多
Victor!
你好 盖瑞
Hey, Gar.
维克多
Victor!
我知道你在这
I know you're in here!
-他不在这 乔纳斯 -对
-He's not here, Jonas. -Yes
盖瑞 没工夫和你说话 我要杀了你的朋友维克多
Gar, not now. I gotta kill your friend Victor.
只要我找到他躲在哪
Just as soon as I find out where he's hiding.
好的 你看 我知道他给你打了恶作剧电♥话♥
Okay, look, I know that he prank called you...
但是
-...but, but, but...
但是盖尔怎么办
but what about Gail?
你现在不是应该去娶她么
Aren't you supposed to be marrying her right now?
哦 我的天
Oh, my God.
盖尔
Gail!
盖尔
Gail!
你可以出来了
You can come out now.
乔纳斯来过了
-Did Jonas come in here?
对
Yeah.
我就知道
I knew it.
盖尔
Gail!
盖尔
-Gail!
你做到了
-You made it!
一切都好吧
Is everything all right?
我很好 我好的不行不行的
I'm fine. I'm more than fine.
盖尔 有些事我必须告诉你
Gail, there's something I have to tell you.
我不是你想象的我
I'm not who you think I am.
没事的 吉恩 詹金森
It's okay, Gene Jenkinson.
我已经知道了
I know everything already.
我在微缩胶片上看到了
I saw it on the microfiche.
我们现在不用谈这个
We don't have to talk about it.
哇哦 你真是太善解人意了
Wow! You're so understanding.
你 乔纳斯 乔根森
Do you, Jonas Jurgenson...
我是说 吉恩 詹金森
I mean, Gene Jenkinson...
你愿意娶这个女人 盖尔 达娜 星野 做你合法的妻子么
...take this woman, Gail Dana Starfield,to be your lawfully wedded wife?