欢迎来到瑞典（2014）

该死 真烦人
Ah ! Ahhh! Crap sandwich.
你没事吧 亲爱的
Are you okay, honey?
好吧 我受够了
All right, you know what? I have had enough, okay?
古斯塔把这些东西堆在走廊上
Gustaf left these laying around in the hallway.
其实是我放的
Actually that was me,
我们今天要去滑雪
because we're going skiing today.
这是家庭传统
It's a family tradition.
听起来不错 玩得开心
Sounds nice. Have fun.
可是你也得去
Yeah, but you're coming with.
我们是一家人了 记得吗
We're family now, remember?
你会滑雪吗
So can you ski?
我会滑雪吗 不会
Can I ski? Uh, no.
我大学打过四年棒球和篮球
I played baseball and basketball for four years in college,
但我没法在雪上走路
but I can't walk on snow.
你会滑雪吗
Can you ski?
我猜我可以
Well, I'm okay, I guess.
我年轻时参加过比赛
I mean, I-I used to compete, like, when I was younger,
不过那是好久之前的事了
but that's a long time ago now.
-你看 -现在我不...这是什么
- Check this out. - Now I'm not... What's this?
什么叫这是什么 这是我高中时代的剪贴簿
What do you mean, what's this? This is my high school scrapbook.
我父母整理的 你看 最有价值球员
My parents put it together. Check it out: MVP.
天啊 太厉害了
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
-我知道 我当时真的很厉害 -不是
- I know, I was really good. - No, no,
我是说你还留着这个太厉害了
the fact that you kept this is amazing.
真可爱
Aww, that's so cute.
我当然留着了 我以前可是运动健将
Of course I kept it. I was a great athlete.
当然了 亲爱的
Of course you were, honey.
你的剪贴簿呢
Where's your scrapbook?
我没有
Well, I don't have one.
也许是因为你没什么好贴的
Maybe 'cause you didn't have anything to put in there.
也许我有呢
Or maybe I did.
我曾在一场比赛中击败安尼娅·帕尔松
I once beat Anja Parson in a race.
好吧 一个无名小卒而已
Okay, nobody knows who that is.
她是史上最优秀的高山滑雪运动员
She's only one of the best downhill skiers ever.
奥林匹克冠军
Olympic champion.
但那是冬奥会
Yeah, but the Winter Olympics.
就像是白人专属奥♥运♥会
That's like the Olympics for pale people.
你知道吗 亲爱的
You know what, honey?
有时候我真的很庆幸
Sometimes I'm really happy
你说话时边上没人
no one is around to hear you speak.
好吧 你只是嫉妒我的剪贴簿
Okay, you know what? You're just jealous of my scrapbook.
贴你自己的去吧
Get your own.
你有什么计划 古斯塔
So what's your plan, Gustaf?
两个 也许三个鸡蛋
Two, maybe three eggs.
橙汁
Orange juice.
奶酪 糖块
I don't know. Cheese, candy.
好吧 我指的是人生计划
Okay, I'm... I'm thinking of a life plan.
你得列个清单
You know, you need to make a checklist.
比如 房♥子 工作 女朋友
Like, apartment, job, girlfriend.
-也许再养条狗 -事儿真多
- Maybe a dog. - Oh, so many things.
就四样
It's, like, four things.
你首先得找到房♥子
And you should focus on the apartment first.
简讯 爱玛 我要住这儿 查收
News flash, Emma: I'm living here, so check.
不查收 你不能住这儿
Okay, uncheck. You can't stay here.
你开始找其他住处了吗
Have you even started looking for other places?
-没 -也许这才是问题所在
- No. - Maybe that's part of the problem, you know?
你不开始找住处 就永远找不到
You won't find a place if you don't start looking for one.
老话说得好
As the old saying goes:
你越不找什么
it's when you least look for something
什么就会自己找上门
that you find it... most.
这算哪门子老话
I don't think that's an old saying.
你需要我帮忙吗
Do you want me to help you?
不 别把我当小孩
No! Don't treat me like a child.
我三十岁半了
I'm thirty and a half years old.
我可以自己来
I can do this by myself.
-笔和纸在哪 -冰箱边上
清单上都有什么来着
So, what's on the list again?
房♥子
Apartment.
房♥子
Apartment.
-工作 -工作
- Job. - Job...
两个b吗
-女朋友 -女朋友
- Girlfriend. - Girlfriend.
狗
Dog...
两个g吧
搞定 开始找吧
Got it. Let's get started.
找房♥子这边走
Apartments are this way.
-什么 -找房♥子这边走
- What? - The apartments are this way.
我知道 这是冻箱 布鲁斯
I know. This is the freezer, Bruce.
-不 那是冰箱 -冰箱
- No, that's the refrigerator. - The refrigerator.
-比约尔 你在干什么 -这对心脏有好处
-我不管 我不想看你这样 -这可是网店爆款
你疯了吗
这个超管用 就像用胳膊跑马拉松似的
好吧 不如咱们今天别去滑雪了
-不要 -又不用每年都去
当然得去了 不然孩子们会失望的
-这是传统 -好吧
我马上来
你看
Check it out.
我穿着多合适
Look how good these look.
那是我的旧衣服
Mm, those are my old ones.
-这是女裤吗 -是啊
- These are women's pants? - Yeah,
不过别担心 你看起来性感极了
but don't worry. You look hot.
天啊 看看你的屁♥股♥
Oh, my God, look at your ass!
跟詹妮弗·洛佩兹似的
You look like J. Lo.
这是好事还是坏事
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
看情况吧
It... depends, I guess.
狗 你们看
Dog. Check.
你买♥♥了条狗
You bought a dog?
你不能买♥♥卖♥♥狗 布鲁斯
You can't buy and sell dogs, Bruce,
他们又不是人类
they're not human beings.
你这话槽点太多
Okay, there's so much wrong with that statement,
我都不知道从哪开始吐起
I don't even know where to begin.
它叫什么名字
What's its name?
他又不能告诉我 不是吗
Well, he can't tell me, can he?
那我就给你赐名...
I hereby name you...
古斯塔的狗
Gustaf's Dog.
列表上你要完成的事情顺序搞错了
I think you started on the wrong end of the list.
我说要先找房♥子和工作
I said apartment and job first.
我就是今天去看♥房♥♥子的时候遇到这条狗的
Well, it just so happens that I'm going see an apartment today.
打脸了吧
So, in your face!
好可怜的狗狗
Ah, poor dog.
-是古斯塔的狗 -好可怜的古斯塔的狗
- Gustaf's Dog. - Poor, Gustaf's Dog.
不不不 我来
这个塞那里
-这样 -好
布鲁斯 布鲁斯 让我来弄吧
No, Bruce, Bruce. I-I'll pack the car.
这些得要装得...
You know, the packing has to be...
行李得要摆放平衡
以保障安全
to be safe.
爸 我们要去的哈马比山就在郊区
哦 所有人上车
孩子他妈坐副驾驶 孩子们坐后排
-古斯塔呢 -他要去看♥房♥♥子
可这是家庭出游 他一直都来的
是谁邀请的布鲁斯
-我邀请的 他是我未婚夫啊
-我知道 抱歉 布鲁斯
只是我们以前出游时车上
从来没有美♥国♥佬♥ 布鲁斯是第一个
爸 你够了
布鲁斯肯定要一起去
-他又不是随便的什么美♥国♥佬♥ 他可是布鲁斯
-是啊 为啥我们不能带上布鲁斯
为啥你们一直在说"布鲁斯"
Why does everyone keep saying Bruce?
那我们出发去滑雪吧
准备好了吗
不是吧
全家人一起出游喽 全家人一起出游喽
这一间是主客厅
好极了 我要了
太好了 你不想再看看其他七间房♥间了吗
你听到了吗 古斯塔的狗
Did you hear that, Gustaf's Dog?
还有七间房♥间哟
There's seven more rooms.
你怎么和你家狗狗说英语
怎么可能那么巧他能听懂瑞典语呢
毕竟这可是小众语言
那倒确实
你好 我叫塞西莉亚
Hello, my name is Cecilia.
你好呀 老太太
Hello. Hello, old lady.