欢迎来到瑞典（2014）

找工作有进展吗
Any luck on the job hunt?
资质过高又不会讲瑞典语的美国人
Still a limited market for overly qualified Americans
就业市场有限
who don't speak Swedish.
或许我应该再去找会计类的工作
Maybe I should just go back to looking for accounting jobs.
没事的 宝贝
Come on, we're fine, babe.
你应该做让自己高兴的事
I mean, you should do whatever makes you happy.
如果有钱我就能买♥♥点高兴了
If we had more money I could buy a little happiness.
我们那儿今天来了个美国人
Oh, we had an American start at work today.
她给我们拍了张合照 还传到了网上
She took a group photo of us and posted it online.
因为"银行重要的是人"
Because "Banks are about people".
-用银行的账号♥吗 -对
- On the bank's account? - Yeah.
我从来没见那个号♥发过什么呢
I've never seen anything posted on there.
现在有了
Well, now there is.
天哪 你看到自己了吗
Oh my God, have you seen yourself on this?
你看着好颓
You look so bored.
什么
What?
评论超多的
There's tons of comments on here.
说起来我们还没讨论过
we've actually never really talked about it,
你觉得...
so, like... what do you...
你对婚姻怎么看
How... What is your take on marriage?
这么多心是什么鬼
What's up with all the hearts?
意思是大家赞了这张照片
It just means that people like the photo.
天哪 这下完蛋了
Oh, my God, this is out of control,
评论也太多了
there's so many comments.
瞧有人写了#董事长[颓废帝]
Look, someone wrote hashtag "Chairman of the Board".
-不错啊 -是"颓废"
- That's not so bad. - No, the "Bored",
颓 废
like B-O-R-E-D.
话说...
Listen...
婚姻...
So, um, marriage, what is the...
结婚在瑞典不算什么
It's not a big thing in Sweden.
我们管住在一起的叫"同居"
We have "Sambo" for people who live together.
"她是昏了吗"
"Is she in a coma?"
"谁能拔出她的菊中棒"
"Can someone pull the stick out of her ass?"
这啥意思啊
What does that even mean?
就说你菊中塞棒
-我知道什么意思 -不好意思
- I know what it means. - Sorry.
-天哪我喘不过来气了 -我还以为你问翻译
- Oh, my God.I can't breathe. - Thought it was a translation problem...
已经被转发了450多次了
Wow, this has been re-posted, like, 450 times already.
很不好吗
Is that bad?
不 只是...
No, it's... it's...
这不是比赛
It's not a contest. Okay?
你不喜欢婚礼吗
So... you're not into weddings, or...?
瑞典的婚礼没完没了还死贵
Swedish weddings are endless and super expensive.
还不如拿那个钱去泰国玩呢
Why not just take the money and go to Thailand instead...
怎么了 谁要结婚
Why? Who's getting married?
没有吧
No one, I guess.
布鲁斯 你们那边几点 半夜吗
Bruce! What time is there? Midnight?
没有 下午两点
No, it's 2:00 in the afternoon.
我永远都算不明白 好吧
Oh, man, I can never figure that out. Okay.
你还好吗 最近如何
So how are you, what's going on?
那个配你简直白瞎的女朋友怎么样了
How is your way-too-hot-for-u girlfriend?
她挺好
Good, she's good.
我准备求婚呢
I'm actually thinking of proposing to her.
这招漂亮
Smart move, you know,
如果你不咋配得上人家
if someone's wayt of your league
最好先套牢
you got to make sue to lock that down.
我倒不觉得她配我是白瞎吧
Yeah, I wouldn't say she's way out of my league, but, you know.
不过我都不知道她想不想结婚
Anyway, I don't even know if she wants to get married.
老实讲在瑞典
You know to be honest, it doesn't seem
结婚好像不是什么大事
like marriage is such a big deal here in Sweden.
但她会感觉不同的
Yeah, but she's going to feel differently
当她看到那个亮闪闪的东西
once she see's, a... ling-a ling-a ling-a li.
看到什么
The what?
那个小钻钻
That rocka-docka- docka-docka?
我不明白你在说什么
I don't know what you're saying.
戒指啊 布鲁斯 戒指
The ring, Bruce, the ring,
天哪 这都是习语
oh my God, it's slang.
你得与时俱进啊
You got to keep up with that, man.
听着 让我看看戒指
Okay, listen, let me see the ring.
我还没买♥♥呢
Well I actually haven't bought it yet.
算了不说你了
All right, enough about you.
你知道不 每个城市都有这么个小哥
You know how every city has, like, a guy?
你去市里 小哥能带你逛逛
You know when you go to the city, and the guy shows you around.
罗马有这么个小哥
Rome has a guy
能带你插队进梵蒂冈什么的
and he helps you cut in line at the Vatican.
这位小哥是谁 我在瑞典能找谁
Who's the guy, the guy I should talk to in Sweden?
我不知道
I don't know...
要不你当这个小哥吧
Well, maybe you should be the guy.
我有个朋友 周四要去
'Cause I got a friend, he's coming on Thursday
他需要有小哥带
and he's goig to need a guy.
我觉得自己没这个资格
I don't think I'm qualified to be the guy.
你可以的 你得帮我啊 布鲁斯
Yeah, you are! You got to help me out Bruce.
我已经答应他了 我也没办法了
I already promisd him and now it's out of my hands.
你可以办到
So... so you... you can do it.
这钱好挣 你就当这个小哥
It's easy money, you be the guy.
我不想当这小哥
No, I don't want to be the guy.
就这么愉快地决定了 回聊
Okay it's handled then, great talking to you.
别 别 别 没决定呢
No, no, no, it's not handled!
好的 安啦
Oka-a-ay! Peace.
不 我说了...
No! I said... I...
你好
Hi.
我们需要谈谈
I think we need to talk.
你有看那张照片的评论吗
Um. Did you see all the comments on that photo?
有啊 很好不是吗
Yeah, great isn't it?
不 都在谈论我
No, no... It was all about me.
说颓废帝什么的
About the Chairman of the Bored.
我看到了 挺逗的
Yeah, I saw that. It was pretty funny.
太糟糕了 你得把它删掉
It was horrible, you have to take it down!
好吧 我会删的
Okay. I'll take it down.
我会删掉这家银行历史上最受欢迎
I will take down the most popular and commented-on photo
评论最多的照片...
this bank has ever seen...
好了 没了
Okay, it's erased.
谢谢
Thank you.
你得跟我合作啊 艾玛
You've got to work with me here, Emma.
我负责改变这家银行的形象
I'm in charge of turning this bank's image around.
我的职责如此
It's what I do.
我曾帮助一些糟糕的机构改变形象
I've turned around the images of some horrible organizations.
"美国爱油者"
"Oil Lovers of America",
"老爸抵♥制♥老妈开车"
"Fathers Against Mothers Driving"
"一字眉协会"
"The Unibrow Society".
但这次可能是最艰巨的
But this, this might be the toughest one yet.
好吧 我可以在网上放张照片
Okay, I'll take a picture for the website.
但必须是我自己挑的 行吗
But it's going to be one that I choose, okay?
古斯塔
Eh, Gustaf...
你有想过搬出去住吗
-没有 -好的
-古斯塔你已经三十了 -三十岁半
当你♥爸♥和我有问题的时候 有你挺好
但我们现在挺好 不需要你来分心了
最后那点没听清
古斯塔 你得搬出去
等等 我明白了 你们要撵我出去
给我吃冰淇淋让我开心
不能把冰淇淋和坏消息放一起呀
以后一想到冰淇淋就想到坏事了
知道吗 你们不想留我 我心里有数
(嘟囔不清)
表情自然 面带微笑
Just act natural and give us a smile.
好吧 怪怪的
Okay, that's just creepy.
不行 吓死姐了
Stop it, you're freaking me out.
-怎么了 -再试一次
- What? - Try again.
你平时就这副表情吗
Is that seriously your natural look?
是啊
I think so.
好吧 这样吧 站起来
No, okay. You know what? Um, up on your feet.
让全身的血液循环起来
We got to get the blood flowing.
-什么 -好了...
- What? - Okay...
抖起来 抖起来...
Let's get it shaking, let's get it shaking...