未坐监（2023）

因为你是
♪Cause you are the wind ♪
在我翅膀下的风 -我还没那么老
♪Beneath my wings ♪- Too soon.
大家好 -看来要聚过去了
Uh, hello, everyone. Oh, oh. I think we're gathering.
在余兴派对的卡拉OK继续之前
Ah. Yeah, before we continue the karaoke portion of the after- party,
没错 每个人都必须唱歌♥ 我想我应该说几句
and, yes, everyone must sing, I thought I should say a few words.
我妈一直都会支持我
My mom always had my back.
就比如 她给我三年级赖斯老师
Like, when she wrote my third grade teacher, Mrs. Rice,
写过一封极其阴阳怪气的信
a devastatingly passive aggressive letter
说我乘法表背的没问题 谢谢
saying that my times tables were just fine, thank you.
这是比较温和的 -她就是这样 是个圣人
It was a gentle aggression. ·That's just who she was, a saint.
而我
And Iu
我很差劲
I suck.
我认真的 最后一次妈妈见我
I'm serious. The, the last time Mom saw me,
我正往试管里吐口水
I- I was spitting into a tube
就像我跟站在眼前的母亲毫无关系一样
like I- I wasn't related to the mother I had right in front of me.
我再也没法拥抱她了
A- And I will never get to hug her again.
你猜怎么着 我都还没哭过呢
And guess what? I haven't even cried yet.
是吧 如果这是部电影
Right? Like- like- like- like if this were a movie,
我现在应该在哭 对吧
I would be crying right now, right?
就像是 -我得打断她了
Like, mm, mm- hm. I'ma step in.
没有 我一点眼泪都没有 只有口水
Nope, I am aaall spit and no tears.
没有 今天没有 -休息下
Nope. No, not today. Uh- huh? - ...take a break.
不要 我还没唱歌♥呢 -会有时间给你唱的
No, no. I- I haven't sung my song yet. - There'll be time for that.
会有时间的哈 -好的
There'll be time. - Okay. Okay.
谢谢 艾斯蒂 说的真好
Thank you, Esti, that was so beautiful.
我补充一两句行吗 好 谢谢
If I could just add a word or two? Okay. Thank you.
我觉得艾斯蒂部分想表达的是
I think part of what Esti was getting at is that, um,
我们的母亲真的 活着就是为了爱
our mother really...lived to love.
我不是说那种爱的感觉
And- And I- I don't mean love like the- the feeling.
我是说爱的动词意思
I mean, love as a verb, right?
因为爱是动词的话 那就是你要做的事
Because love as a verb, is what you do.
而且 她 她做了一切
And, um, she...she did everything.
收留了我们
She took us in.
有一颗如此
And she had a heart that was just so
敞开 脆弱 慷慨的心灵
open, and vulnerable, and generous.
可能很多时间 如果不那样的话
Probably a lot of times when it- it would have felt
会感觉没那么可怕 但是
much less scary not to be, um.
但是 爱作为动词就代表知道
But, you know, love as a verb is about knowing
生活中没办法去找补
that there's no after- party in life,
所以你必须爱在当下
so you, you just have to love now,
趁还有机会
while you can.
趁不至于为时太晚
before it's too late.
我认为这才是卡萝尔真正理解的
I think that's something that Carole really understood,
而且
and.
我认为这是我现在才开始理解的
I think it's something that I am starting to understand now.
所以 非常感谢大家的到来
Um, so, thank you so much, everybody, for coming.
真的不胜感激 而且 至于卡拉OK
I really appreciate it. And- And, um, for karaoke,
也许大家可以在这个房♥间派对
maybe everybody can just line up in this room.
谢谢
Um, thank you.
嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
嘿 麻烦等下
Hey, hey, hey, wait, please.
佩吉 你说的很好 但 -听我说完 好吧
Paige, that was beautiful, but, like- - Just hear me out, okay?
我一直在调整自己
I have been doing all of this work on myself,
我认为那确实让我
and I think that it has really allowed me
看清了你真正的样子
to see you for who you really are,
你很棒
and you are amazing.
你是个非常好的朋友 是个脚踏实地的伴侣
You're such a good friend, you're a grounded partner,
你懂我 是真的那种”入我心扉“
you see me, I think, like, really Into- Me- You- See,
我在所有正确的方面都感受到了跟你的联♥系♥
and I feel connected to you in all the right ways.
就是 这里 这里 还有这里
Like, here and here and here.
佩吉 我觉得你不知道自己现在在说什么
Paige, I don't think you really know what you're saying right now.
我完全确定知道我在说什么
I'm completely certain of what I'm saying.
抱歉
I'm, I'm sorry.
这话什么意思 -我得走了
What does that mean? - I gotta go.
我听说冰块的事了
Heard about the ice.
嘿 芬恩
Hey, Finn...
我学到的关于爱 家庭的一件事
one thing I learned about love, family...
就是失望 是无可避免的
the. disappointment, it's unavoidable, man.
因为所有人都
Cause all folks, they are just...
一身缺点
f- flawed as hell.
你不是啊 -拜托
You're not. - Come on, man.
我知道我让我在乎的人失望了
I know I've let down the folk I care about.
我让你妈妈一次又一次的失望
I let your mama down, over and over and over again.
而也有很多人让我失望 相信我
And all kind of folk have let me down, believe that.
但这不会影响爱 芬恩
But it doesn't affect the love, Finn.
我知道事情发展不遂你意
Now, I know it didn't work out the way you wanted.
我为你能联♥系♥你♥爸♥感到非常自豪
I am so proud of you for reachin' out to your dad.
对于一个所谓的什么都怕的人来说
For somebody who's so- called scared of everything,
芬恩 你做了最艰难的决定
Finn, you did the hardest thing possible.
你让自己走出去了
You put yourself out there.
现在你能做到吗 你什么都可以做
Now you can do that? You can do anything.
我要帮忙吗 -我来就好
Oh...should I help? - I got it.
再次致以我的慰问
My condolences again.
好 谢谢
Okay. Thank you.
我喜欢你说的那番话
And I liked your speech.
谢谢 -对马尔说的那番话
Thanks. - To Mal.
卡萝尔会为你骄傲的
Carole would've been proud.
我很骄傲
And I'm proud.
我觉得马尔不喜欢
Well...I don't think Mal liked it.
他就这么走了 所以 -你知道吗 佩吉
I mean, he just walked out, so. - You know what, Paige?
你这人有点不宽容 有点爱评判
You're kind of unforgiving, somewhat judgmental,
有点自以为是 -真是没礼貌
and a bit of a know- it- all- That was rude.
但马尔如果不跟你在一起那就是个傻瓜
...but Mal would be a fool not to be with you.
很高兴你留下来了
I'm glad you stayed.
我算是你唯一还在世的妈妈了
Well...I am kinda the only mom you have left.
天
Oh, God.
还真是哈
Oh, that's kind of true. - Hm. Mm- hm.
嘿 抱歉 冰块的事把你弄得很不爽
Hey. I'm sorry I put you on blast with the whole ice thing.
没事
Nah, it's cool.
只是 有时候 我的大脑会让一些小事变得无法完成
Just, um...you know, sometimes, my brain makes small things impossible.
即使我♥干♥过比开两条街买♥♥冰块更困难的事
Even though I've done much harder things than drive two blocks for ice.
反正我也不该往霞多丽里加冰
Eh, I shouldn't put ice in my chardonnay anyway.
拉低我品味了
Makes me look trashier than I am.
我只是觉得我让你们失望了 你知道吗
I just feel bad that I disappointed you guys, you know?
但姥爷说 一个家庭里 失望是必不可少的一部分
But, uh, Grandpa said that part of being in a family is disappointment.
但他说的话表达出来更加充满希望
But he made it sound way more hopeful.
嗯 他就是
Yeah, he was all like.
芬恩尼斯·詹姆斯
"Finneas James,
爱的一部分
"part of love,
家庭的一部分就是失望
"part of family is disappointment.
因为人无完人
Because all folk flawed as hell"
不是说
You know, it doesn't mean that, um...
不是说你不爱他们
doesn't mean that you don't love them
也不代表他们不爱你
and it doesn't mean that they don't love you.
或者诸如此类的
Or somethin' like that.
你说的太对了 我爱妈妈
You're s...You're so right. I, um, I loved Mom.
她也爱我
And she loved me.
我想找出亲生爸妈会不会让她失望啊
W- Was, was she disappointed I- I wanted to find my birth family?
会 会的
Yeah. Yeah, she was.
但后来她去世了 去世的时候心里还很不舒服
But, but then she died and...she died feeling terrible.
但 但这不代表因为她走了
But- But that doesn't mean I- I shouldn't follow through
我就不该继续下去了
because she's gone now.
而且就算我不把唾液试管寄出去她也不会复活了
And me not sending in a tube of my spit isn't gonna bring her back.
天
Oh, God. Um. -
艾斯蒂姨 你没事吧
Aunt Esti, are you okay?
没事 不不不 目的就是要哭出来
Totally! No- no- no- no- no. C- Crying was the goal.
行吧 -谢谢
Okay. Yeah. Thank you.
你怎么样 宝贝女
How you doin", babygirl?
你是说我当大家面丢脸的事吗
You mean because of my very public humiliation?
其实这给我的新书大纲一个启发
You know, it actually led to a revelation with my book proposal,