柯明斯基理论

你确定？ -对
You sure? -Yeah.
你好了吗？
You ready?
那当然
You bet.
对了 我念高中那时
By the way, you know, when I was in high school
做过《我们的小镇》 乔治这个角色的候补演员
I understudied the role of George in "Our Town."
是喔？ -对 我不算是新手
Really? -Yes. I'm not new to this.
谢谢你 亚历斯
Thank you, Alex.
不客气
You're welcome.
想要吃点心吗？
Feel like desert? -Ooh, maybe.
或许吧 你有什么想法？
What do you have in mind?
你喜欢吃优格冰淇淋吗？ -喜欢
You like frozen yogurt? -I do.
那好 我知道有家店很棒
Good. I know just the place.
看不出来你爱吃优格
I wouldn't have figured you for a yogurt guy.
我不爱吃 难吃死了
I'm not. It's awful.
（山迪柯敏斯基演艺工作坊）
好 朱利安和我选择了 《好汉两个半》的一幕戏
Okay, so, Jude and I have chosen to do a scene from "Two And A Half Men."
本来在2频道播出 现在是348频道
Which was on channel two, but now it's on channel 348.
慢着 等等
Wait, wait, wait. Hang on.
作业是要选出经典的喜剧场景
The assignment was to pick a classic comedy scene
你们选了《好汉两个半》？
and you picked "Two And A Half Men?"
对
Yeah.
你们可以选奥斯卡王尔德、萧伯纳
You could've picked Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw
尼尔赛门、亚里斯多芬
Neil Simon, Aristophanes.
结果却是选《好汉两个半》？
And you went with "Two And A Half Men."
我以前和我阿嬷一起看
I use to watch it with my grandma.
低级到她很喜欢
She liked how dirty it was.
亚里斯多芬是在哪个频播出？
What channel Aristophanes on?
算了 来看看吧
Never mind. Let's see it.
我是艾伦 他是查理
I'm Alan and he's Charlie.
我也会这样选角
That's how I cast it.
还有什么比现场演出更棒呢？
What's better than live theater?
我告诉你 完全没有
I'll tell you. Nothing.
是吧？
Right?
男人…
♪ Men men men men men men men ♪
男人
♪ Men ♪♪
12年了 她竟然把我赶出家门
Twelve years and she just throws me out.
结婚誓言有什么意义？“至死不渝”
What was the point of our wedding vows? "Till death do us part."
谁死了？不是我 不是她
Who died? Not me. Not her.
你是怎么进到我家的？
How'd you get into my house?
查理 把钥匙藏在假石头里若要有用
Charlie, the key in the fake rock
前提是和其他石头放在一起 不是自己一颗放在门口踏垫上
only works if it's among other rocks not sitting on your welcome mat.
不好意思喔
Well, excuse me,
但要是把假石头 和其他石头放在一起
but if you put the fake rock with all the other rocks,
喝醉的时候哪可能找得到呢
it's impossible to find when you're drunk.
我是好先生 我很忠实
I'm a good husband. I'm faithful.
她呢？
Is she?
她怎样？ -忠实吗？
Is she what? Faithful.
少乱说了
Don't be ridiculous.
茱蒂丝甚至不喜欢性♥爱♥
Judith doesn't even like sex.
她开口闭口就是觉得喘不过气来
All she kept saying was she feels suffocated.
她老是说：“我快窒息了”
She kept going on and on, "I'm suffocating. I'm suffocating."
那是什么意思？ 有女人对你这样说过吗？
What does that mean? Has a woman ever said that to you?
当然
Well, sure.
但不是不喜欢性♥爱♥的女人
Not a woman who doesn't like sex.
杰克 这有可能毁掉杰克
Jake. This could destroy Jake.
杰克
Jake?
我的儿子
My son.
这年头的青少年相当复杂
Ah! Well, you know, teenagers are pretty sophisticated these days.
他才十岁
'He's ten.'
你听我说 这只是暂时 等事情解决
Look, this is just until things settle out.
顶多两天吧 她会回心转意的
A couple of days max. She will come to her senses.
当然 女人都这样
Sure. That's what women do.
但你可以用客卧 我去帮你拿床单
Look, you can have the guest bedroom. I'm gonna go get you some sheets.
没关系
That's okay.
我自己有带
I-I brought my own.
你自己带床单来喔？
You brought your own sheets?
我喜欢我自己的床单
I like my sheets.
好吧 晚安
Okay. Goodnight.
等等…
Wait, wait.
我们几乎都没在聊天了
We hardly ever talk to each other.
你要聊什么 艾伦？
'What do you want to talk about, Alan?'
不知道
I don't know,
我获得圣弗南多谷整脊协会
I was named Chiropractor of the Year
提名为年度最佳整脊医师
by the San Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association.
好喔 晚安
Okay, goodnight.
等等
Hang on.
那你呢？
What about you?
你过得怎么样？
What's going on with you?
艾伦 其实没什么值得说的
Well, Alan, there's really not much to say.
我的工作事少薪水高
I, I make a lot of money for doing very little work.
跟美女睡觉 她们不问我感情的事
I sleep with beautiful women that don't ask about my feelings.
我开捷豹名车
I drive a Jag,
我住在海滩边
I live at the beach
有时候一天过到一半 完全没来由
and sometimes in the middle of the day, for no reason at all
我会帮自己做一大壶玛格丽特调酒
I make myself a big pitcher of margaritas
然后在躺椅上晒太阳睡午觉
and take a nap out on the sundeck.
结束
End scene.
太棒了
Bravo.
好 模仿《单身公♥寓♥》 这也算一招
Okay, that was one way to rip off the odd couple.
多谢称赞
Well, thank you.
在我评论这幕戏之前 我想要先退一步
Before we critique the scene I wanna take a step back
说说喜剧这个戏剧类型
and talk a little bit about comedy as a genre.
你们先坐吧
Why don't you guys sit down?
喜剧和…
What separates..
好喔
Oh.. Yeah, okay.
喜剧和戏剧的分别是什么？
What separates comedy from drama?
其实又真的有分别吗？
Is there a in fact a separation?
马丁 你先等一下 -抱歉
Martin, just hold off a second. Sorry.
我们身为演员又应该去认可
Should we, as actors, even acknowledge or divide
这两者当中有所分野吗？
between the two forms?
人类会哭泣 会去爱
Human beings cry, they love
恐惧、欢笑和愤怒
they fear, they laugh, they rage.
以上这些有哪个比较重要…
'Which of those things is more important'
在用意上来说比其他的有价值吗？
more worthy of their intentions than the others?
答案很简单
The answer is simple.
没有 它们都是平等的
None of them. They're equal.
意思是我们不是去演出喜剧
Which means we don't play comedy.
我们不是去演出戏剧
We don't play drama.
我们是演出事实
We play the truth.
如果你扮演喜剧中的角色 或许是情境喜剧
If you cast a comedy, perhaps a sitcom
而剧本中有个笑话 你不是去演出笑话
and there is a joke in your script you don't play the joke.
而是演出当下的现实
You play the reality of the moment.
如果观众看了会笑 也是自然而然
If there's laughter to be had, it'll take care of itself.
你们不需要帮一把 事实上呢
You don't need to help it. In fact,
帮一把是你们能做出最糟糕的事
helping it is the worst thing that you can do.
是的 马丁？
Yes, Martin.
要是笑话本身很烂呢？
What if the joke stinks?
那不该是你的关切
It's not your concern.
你是以演员的身分提供服务 不是剧评
You're providing service as an actor not a critique.
对 但是…
Right, but
你可以在过程中帮一把 像是…
you can help it along like, you see,
做鬼脸或是发出喜剧音效…
make funny faces or make a comedy noise..
用来帮一把
To help it.
不行 -不行吗？
No.
这样似乎不公道
That doesn't seem fair.
（优格冰淇淋店）
她最近升上夜班经理
She was recently promoted to night manager.
真的喔？ -是啊
No kidding. -Yeah.
白天去参加戒酒无名会
'She goes to AAA meeting during the day'
晚上卖♥♥优格 我真是太以她为荣了
and sells yogurt at night. I couldn't be more proud.
下一步就是把她儿子救出山达基教会
Next step, rescuing her son from scientology.