柯明斯基理论

（南美洲 哥伦比亚）
（混♥蛋♥）
喂？前夫
Hello, ex-husband.
喂？前妻 怎么样啊？
Hello, ex-wife. -How's it going?
你知道的
'Oh, you know.'
没有你的每一天 都充满了阳光和欢笑
Everyday without you is a day filled with sunshine and lollipops.
是啊 同感
Yeah, same here.
我有跟你说过离婚后
Did I ever tell you after the divorce
我就没再掉头发了吗？
that my hair stopped falling out?
那很好啊
That's good.
你这个人只有头发值得一救
Your hair was the only thing about you worth saving.
我当初怎么没有把握机会 用枕头把你闷死呢
Mm, how did I not pull a pillow over your head when I had the chance.
因为你没种啊…你要干嘛？
You didn't have the balls. What do you want?
敏迪有状况
Well, something came up with Mindy.
她没事吧？ -对 她很好
Is she alright? -Yeah, yeah. -She's fine.
那是怎么了？
Then what's going on?
不确定你知不知道
Well, I'm not sure if you know this or not
但你女儿交往的对象
but your daughter's got herself mixed up
年纪比她大了一倍
with a guy that's like twice her age.
那件事啊 对 我当然知道
'Oh, that. Yeah, of course I know.'
说：“啊”
Say, ah.
说什么？
Say what?
不是跟你说话
Ah. -Not talking to you.
等等 她有跟你说？何时说的？
Wa.. She told you? When did she tell you?
我想想…
Oh, I don't know.
大概一年前吧
About a year ago.
你已经知道一年了？
You've known about this for a year?
有想过要跟我说吗？
Did you ever think about telling me?
没有 完全没想过
Mm, no. Never crossed my mind.
所以你到底是哪里过不去？
So what exactly is your concern?
什么叫做我哪里过不去？
Well, what do you mean, what is my concern?
那家伙是老人耶
The guy is like an old man.
你也是啊
So are you.
看你交年轻的也没有客气过
Never stopped you from dating younger women.
这不一样
This is different.
怎么不一样？
'How so?'
这是我女儿
This is my daughter.
你真是伪君子
You're such a hypocrite.
说些我不知道的事
Tell me something I don't know.
你见过他了吗？
Have you met him yet? -No.
没有 跟他们约了今天吃晚饭
I'm supposed to have dinner with them tonight.
那就放轻松 他人很好
Well then, relax. He's a terrific guy.
你见过他喔？
You've met him?
马丁许奈德
Uh-huh. Martin Schneider.
爱敏迪爱得五体投地
Absolutely adores Mindy.
慢着
Wait a minute,
你知道这事一年 还见过这家伙？
you've known about this for a year and you met the guy?
看看你 拼凑线索
Look at you, connecting the dots.
她竟然等了那么久才跟我说
I can't believe she waited so long to tell me.
或许是你女儿信不过你
Or maybe your daughter doesn't trust you
不想说她私人的事
with her personal affairs.
她可信得过我了 我们很亲 现在比以往更亲
Hey, she trusts me, alright? We're close. We're closer than ever.
但她还是没早跟你说男友的事
But she didn't tell you about her boyfriend.
会痛吗？
Does that hurt?
有点痛 对
A little, a bit, yeah.
所以你完全觉得没关系？
So this does not creep you out at all?
不会 其实我还有点意外
No. Actually, I'm kinda surprised.
你竟然这么老古板
You're being so old fashioned.
我才不是老古板
Hey, I'm not old fashioned.
其实班上很多年轻人
Matter of fact, lot of the kids here in my class
都说我很“觉醒”
say that I'm very, uh, woke.
没错 在下兄弟敝人我
That's right, you're talking to a man
完全可以在性别友善厕所掏出老二
whose got no problem dropping a deuce in a gender-neutral bathroom.
谢谢你形容得很有画面
Oh, thank you for that lovely image.
不客气
You're welcome.
山迪 你没办法控制她的生活
Look, Sandy you can't control her life.
你只能陪伴她 不去打分数
All you can do is be there for her without judgement.
我知道啊 你以为我不知道吗？
I know that. You don't think I know that?
我只是不要我的孩子受伤
I just don't want my kid to get hurt.
如果她没先想好
'You know, she's not thinking ahead.'
两年后就要帮这家伙换尿布了
But a couple of years from now she's gonna be changing this guy's diapers.
你应该担心谁要帮你换尿布才对
I think the real concern should be who's gonna change your diapers?
你一笑就漏尿 还好意思说我
Says the woman who pees when she laughs.
你妈警告我别嫁给你
Your mother warned me not to marry you
说你跟你老爸一样杂碎 爱说谎又会出轨
said you were a lying, cheating scumbag just like your old man.
跟你结婚是我这辈子最大的错误
You are the worst mistake I ever made in my life.
彼此彼此 乌龟蛋
Back at you, fucko.
剧名：第 10 章：旧情重燃
我不记得有这么大只
I don't recall them being this big.
你说过马不会让你不自在
You told me you were comfortable around horses.
我赌马的时候是很自在
I'm comfortable betting on them.
反正回不去了 你行头都买♥♥了
Well, you can't turn back now. You bought the outfit.
这是另一个问题 在店里看起来很好玩
That's another thing, this was a fun idea in the store
但这一穿上 我活像迈入晚年的牛仔木偶
but I look like Howdy Doody the later years.
你看起来很棒啦
You look great.
不用担心 南希是很温柔的老马
Look, there's nothing to worry about Nancy's a very old and gentle horse.
我也是温柔老人
I'm old and gentle,
但若你想爬到我背上 看看会怎样
see what happens if you try and climb on my back.
说真的 我会咬你喔
Seriously, I would bite you.
就试试看吧 好吗？
Well, just give it a try, okay?
路易士和文森会帮你上马 -我不需要帮忙
Louis, Vincent will help you up. I don't need any help.
天啊
Lord.
路易士、文森 麻烦帮一把
Louis, Vincent. A little help.
现在呢？ -拿起缰绳
Now what? -Just pick up the reins.
现在要去轻松兜风
And now we go for a nice leisurely ride.
务必在我的墓志铭写上这句话
Be sure and put that on my tombstone.
轻轻踢它一下
Just give her a little kick.
踢它？
A kick?
对 踢一下
Yeah. A kick.
你要我踢马喔？ -我是啊
You want me to kick the horse? -Yeah. I do.
南希 先跟你致歉
Nancy, I apologize in advance.
这有方向灯吗？
Is there a turn signal in this thing?
我突然有一股冲动 想去查看牧场上有没有走失的牛只
I suddenly feel compelled to take the law of 40 for stray cattle.
好美喔
Beautiful.
是啊
Yeah.
我真高兴你开车上来
I'm so glad you made the drive up here.
我也是 多谢邀约
Me too. Thank you for the invite.
可以跟你分享一件事吗？ -当然
Can I share something with you? -Of course.
我的屁♥股♥痛死了
My ass is killing me.
什么屁♥股♥？你又没有屁♥股♥
What ass? You don't have an ass.
你在说什么？我碰巧有一对丰臀
What are you talking about, I happen to have a very substantial booty.
晚上吃马沙拉酒炖鸡可以吗？ -等等 我先…
Chicken marsala okay for ton--Hang on, let me just, uh..
记得提醒我跟你说贝塔植固醇
Hey, remind me to tell you about Beta-Sitosterol.
贝塔什么？
Beta-what?
植固醇 那是天然的前列腺保养品
Sitosterol. It's a natural prostate supplement.
你怎么会知道这种东西？
Uh-huh. And you know about this how?
这个嘛…
Well, I,
我跟马丁说你底下那儿有些问题
I told Martin you were having some problems down there.
他推荐的
And he recommended it.
是喔？那我猜测
Really? So then I assume that your fella's
你的男人底下也有类似问题罗
got similar problems down there.
对 爸 我的男人也是
Yes, dad. My fella does.
他挂保证强力推荐
He swears by the supplement though.
说很有帮助 半夜不用一直起来跑厕所
Says it really helps him from having to get up a lot during the night.
那好吧 请帮我谢谢他 我会去研究
Okay, well, please thank him for me and I'll look into it.
或是你可以当面谢谢他
Or you can thank him yourself.
当然 但不会是在吃饭那时
Sure. But not while we're eating.
因为要讨论给老人用的走入式浴缸
That's what we'll talk about walk-in bathtubs.
对了 你跟你妈说你的私人生活
By the way, you tell your mother about your personal life
却没跟我说
and you don't tell me.
我很受伤
That hurts my feelings.