‪（深切缅怀诺曼厄文纽兰德）
‪各位下午好 非常感谢大家的到来
Good afternoon, everybody. Thank you so much for coming.
‪也许你们不知道我们为什么 ‪要在一座无教派教堂举♥行♥仪式
If you're wondering why we're doing this in a, uh, nondenominational chapel
‪而不是 ‪请一位拉比在犹太会堂主持典礼
instead of a synagogue with a rabbi…
‪这是因为 诺曼希望我们这样做
…it's because Norman, he wanted it that way.
‪他临终前对我说：
Just before he died, he said to me,
‪“桑迪 如果你想把我塞进一条小船 ‪推到洛杉矶河里去
"Sandy, you wanna stick me in a rowboat, push it into the LA River,
‪点火烧掉 那没关系”
set it on fire, that's fine."
‪“不过 那些宗教上的胡说八道 ‪还是免了吧”
"Just spare everybody the religious claptrap."
‪宗教上的胡说八道
Religious claptrap.
‪你们可能也猜到了 ‪诺曼是犹太教改革派教♥徒♥
As you might guess, Norman belonged to the reform school of Judaism.
‪我一直在想 该如何纪念这样一个人
I've been trying to figure out how to pay homage, uh, to this man.
‪然后 我想起他说过的一句名言
And then I remembered one of his favorite sayings,
‪“当其他道路走不通时 ‪你就选择说真话”
"The truth is a good fallback position."
‪所以我就打算这么做 ‪我要选择说真话了
So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna fall back on the truth.
‪做诺曼的朋友很不容易
It was tough being Norman's friend.
‪但我做他的朋友做了50年
But for over 50 years, that's what I was.
‪50年 我和哪些女人约会
Fifty years of him giving me a hard time
‪和谁结婚 我的那几次离婚 ‪我损失的金钱
about the women I dated, the women I married,
‪我没赚到手的钱 甚至我喝什么酒
the divorces I suffered through, the money I lost,
‪他都要过问
money I never had,
‪都要指手画脚
even the booze I drank.
‪我生活的方方面面他都能挑出毛病
He found fault in just about every aspect of my life.
‪致敬 爸爸 致敬
Homage, Dad. Pay homage.
‪我遇到麻烦时 他借钱给我 ‪可是他让我时刻不忘他的好处
He lent me money when I was in trouble, but he never let me forget it.
‪不
No. No, no, no.
‪他一遍又一遍反复提醒我
My nose got rubbed in it over and over again.
‪去年我经历了一场癌症
When I went through that whole cancer deal last year,
‪我吓得要死
I was scared out of my mind.
‪我那个好朋友 好兄弟
My best friend, my good buddy,
‪他不断拿我开玩笑 说我的头发掉了
he kept joking about how I should save my hair
‪应该都收集起来
when it falls out
‪织成一个茶壶套
and use it to make a tea cozy.
‪茶壶套
A tea cozy.
‪你去死吧 好兄弟
Well, fuck you very much, good buddy.
‪我一根头发也没掉 一根没掉
I didn't lose one strand. Not one.
‪没掉
Not one.
‪但我却失去了你
But I did lose you.
‪我不知道我该怎么挺过去
And I don't know how I'm gonna get through that.
‪没有了你 我该怎么继续做我的事？
I--I don't know how I'm just supposed to go about my business without you.
‪我要声明一下
And--And for the record, you know,
‪我的确给洛杉矶市政♥府♥打过电♥话♥ ‪问能不能把你扔到船上烧掉
I did call the City of LA about setting you on fire in a rowboat,
‪但我无法搞到 ‪举♥行♥一场维京式葬礼的许可
but I couldn't get a permit for a Viking funeral.
‪也许在文图拉县可以 但在这里不行
You know, maybe in Ventura County but not here.
‪谢谢
Thank you.
‪这个我可没想到
I did not see that coming.
‪（第17章）
‪（剧名：那些熟悉的老地方）
‪今天 我们在这里悼念 ‪我爷爷的肉体的离去
We are here today to mourn the passing of my grandfather's meat body.
‪但那一堆衰朽的细胞并不代表我爷爷
But that decaying collection of cells is not who or what he was.
‪我爷爷是一个不死的灵魂 ‪经历过无数次轮回
My grandfather was an immortal spirit who has lived countless millions of lives.
‪山达基教
Scientology?
‪就像所有不死的灵魂一样
And like all immortal spirits,
‪他永世在宇宙间漫游 寻找一个游戏
he has roamed the universe for eons in search of a game.
‪因为我们就是这样
For that is what we do.
‪我们做游戏
We play games.
‪而我们玩的最大的游戏 ‪就是忘掉我们的本来面目
And the biggest game that we play is to forget our true identity
‪这样我们就可以和自己玩捉迷藏
so that we can play hide-and-seek with ourselves.
‪有一天 我们找到了自我
And when the day comes that we find ourselves,
‪确凿无疑地知道 ‪我们是亘古不变的知觉力
that we know with absolute certainty that we are static awareness
‪比物质、能量、空间和时间更古老
senior to matter, energy, space, and time,
‪那时 我们就赢了
then we win.
‪我自己知道这是真的
I know that to be true for myself,
‪现在 我爷爷也知道了
and now my grandpa knows it too.
‪当然 他还没有走过 ‪哈伯德的绝对自♥由♥之桥
Although, without having crossed LRH's bridge of total freedom,
‪所以很快又会堕入痛苦的
he will quickly be sucked back into the hellish merry-go-round
‪生死轮回
of birth and death.
‪谢谢
Thank you.
‪我父亲从来没有放弃过我
My father never gave up on me.
‪他本该放弃的
He should have,
‪但他从来没有
but he never did.
‪我一次次让他失望 但他从不放弃
Time after time, I let him down, but he just refused to give up.
‪所以 作为对他的补偿
So, as part of my amends to him,
‪我的赞助人和我决定 ‪我应该偿还欠他的钱
my sponsor and I decided that I should pay him back
‪他曾出钱帮我戒瘾 给我请心理医师
for all the rehabs and therapists
‪还送我去参加野营
and wilderness retreats that he sent me to.
‪不考虑通胀的话 ‪这些钱累计超过九十万美元
Not counting inflation, that came to a little over $900,000,
‪这还不包括三十万美元的律师费用
and that doesn't include the 300 grand in… in legal fees
‪去打那场蓄意贩毒的官司
to… to beat that bogus intent-to-sell bust.
‪好像我有那么蠢 ‪会卖♥♥掉我自己的存货一样
Like I would ever be stupid enough to sell my own stash.
‪总之 我欠我爸爸120万
Anyway, I owe my papa a million two.
‪我要用我得到的部分遗产去还他
And I'm gonna use part of my inheritance to pay him back.
‪当然 不是还给他 因为 你们知道的
Well, not him, obviously, because, you know.
‪我要在加拉帕戈斯群岛建造一座 ‪戒瘾机构
I am gonna pay him back by building a drug rehab
‪算是对他的回报
in the Galápagos Islands,
‪在那里 吸毒者、酗酒者
where drug addicts and alcoholics
‪还有进食障碍患者 ‪都可以一边重塑新生
and people with eating disorders can turn their life around
‪一边了解一下达尔文和进化论
while learning about Charles Darwin and evolution.
‪所以 为了纪念我父亲 ‪那个从不曾放弃我的人
So, in honor of my father, the man who never gave up on me, um,
‪这所戒瘾机构将被命名为 ‪“甜蜜的投降”
the rehab will be called The Suite Surrender,
‪因为在清醒时 你必须投降才会赢
because, in sobriety, you have to surrender to win,
‪而说它“甜蜜” 是因为
and "suite" will be spelled S-U-I-T-E,
‪我们的房♥间都将至少是 ‪小套房♥或者更好的 谢谢
because all the rooms will be junior suites or better. Thank you.
‪当我失去我的丈夫时 我想：
When I lost my husband, I thought,
‪“完了 我孤独一人了”
"That's it. I'm alone now."
‪但奇迹出现了 我遇见了一个男人
But miracle of miracles, I ran into a man
‪1967年 我们有过一段火热的恋情
with whom I'd had a hot and heavy fling way back in 1967.
‪那个男人就是你♥爸♥爸 你爷爷
That man was your dad and your grandpa.
‪一开始 我们以为我们之间的关系
Well, I mean, first we assumed that, uh, the relationship this time
‪会是柏拉图式的
would be merely platonic.
‪你知道 老朋友 手牵着手
You know, old friends holding hands,
‪在公园里散步
taking a walk in the park,
‪一起吃饭
sharing meals.
‪但事实完全不是这样
But that's not what happened at all.
‪经过我的一点点鼓励
With a little encouragement from me and, uh,
‪还有一点药物的辅助
a little pharmaceutical assistance,
‪诺曼很快就变成了 ‪一匹贪得无厌的种马
Norman quickly turned into the voracious stud that ravaged me
‪疯狂地蹂躏了我
all those years ago.
‪太美好了
It was wonderful.
‪他的欲望很温柔 但也很难得到满足
And his lust was gentle but demanding.
‪而且很准时
And punctual.
‪你可以拿它对表
Oh, you could set your watch by it.
‪周三和周日早上七点半
7:30 a.m. on Wednesdays and Sundays.
‪喝完一杯咖啡 ‪很快地去一趟卫生间之后
After a cup of coffee and a quick visit to the bathroom,
‪他就会从后面一把抱住我 ‪让我像一个
he would take me from behind and make me quiver and shake
‪反叛家庭礼教的
like a… like a 16-year-old girl
‪16岁少女一样浑身颤抖
who's been rebelling against her overly religious parents.
‪每个周三和周日的早晨
Wednesday and Sunday mornings,
‪诺曼纽兰德给我无与伦比的爱
Norman Newlander loved me like no other man.
‪周三和周日的早晨
Wednesday and Sunday mornings.
‪7:30到7:45
At 7:30 to 7:45.
‪我都有点蠢蠢欲动了
I'm a little horny right now.
‪我做诺曼的助理前后一共22年
I was Norman's assistant for 22 years.
‪我为他做好工作安排 ‪和个人生活上的安排
I, um, arranged his work schedule, his personal schedule,
‪为他做旅行安排 规划他的假期
his travel plans, his vacations.
‪我确保他定期体♥检♥ 看牙医
I made sure he had regular medical, dental…
‪做皮肤科和眼科检查
…dermatology, and ophthalmology.
‪他的所有午餐和晚餐定位 ‪也是由我负责的
I--I also took care of all of his lunch and dinner reservations,
‪我总是提醒餐馆 ‪他是个多么重要的人物
always reminding the restaurants how important he was
‪让他们给安排好的桌位
so that he had a nice table.
‪典型的智人
Classic Homo sapien.