单亲贵族（2020）

I... I'm not breaking up with you.
你不是 好吧 真是谢谢你了
Oh, you're not? That's... Ah, well, thank you very much.
我不想失去你
Well, I don't wanna lose you!
同样地 我不想被你牵绊 你懂吗
Equally, I don't wanna be trapped with you. Do you understand?
我他妈的
Fuck me.
我又来了
One minute!
很多服务员都说一会儿再来 然后就没影了
A lot of waiters say one minute and then you never see them again,
我不一样 永远伴你左右
but me, I'm right in here.
伙计 滚远点
Mate, can you fuck off?
今晚我直接带你回家怎么样
How about I just take you straight home?
- 按约定去你那里是肛♥交♥ - 没错
- But we made anal plans for your place. - Right.
我就是这个意思
That's what I'm saying.
让我们忘掉今晚的不愉快吧
Let's leave that part of this evening out.
那就是正常的打一炮吗
So just regular sex then?
好吧 看来你乱了阵脚
Okay, so you're panicking.
- 我做错了吗 - 当然
- Have I made a mistake? - Absolutely.
但现在说你是开玩笑的也不迟
But it's not too late to say you were joking.
奥丽芙需要一个同胞弟妹
Olive can't be an only child.
碧昂斯的父母也是这么说的 然后他们就有了索兰格
That's what Beyoncé's parents said and then they had Solange.
索兰格是那个家庭做的唯一有远见的事
Solange is the true visionary of that family and you know it.
你跟汤姆在一起
Are you with Tom?
就几分钟 然后他就放屁把自己崩醒了
Only for a few minutes, when he farts himself awake.
天呐 跟男人同居简直太恶心了
God. It's sick, you know? People living with men.
不 我爱他
No, I love him!
他的睡颜像个小天使
His sleepy little face.
有些男人也没有那么坏 你会明白的
Some of them aren't that bad, you know. You'll figure it out.
至少接下来几天
Look, at least you've got
你有空好好工作了
the rest of the weekend to catch up with work.
你好 这边是埃文·帕特森医生 请留言
Hi, you've reached Dr. Evan Patterson. Leave a message.
妈妈 奥丽芙 爸爸
你好
Hi.
你好
Hi.
我知道离开谢普很难
I know that leaving Shep was hard,
我很钦佩你做出的牺牲
and I admire all the sacrifices you've made,
你会害怕我不怪你
and I don't blame you for being afraid.
是啊 特别害怕 我才不婊
Yes. Fearful. Not a bitch.
好吧 有点婊
Well, a little bit of a bitch.
我一直都在为别人的错误买♥♥单
Look, I'm through paying for another guy's mistakes.
我不想只在周末拥有你
I don't want you only on the weekends.
我想让你 你们母女
I want you, but both of you,
成为我生活里永恒的中心
to be my first priorities all the time.
想想吧 你竟然能奇迹般的跟谢普生出这么好的奥丽芙
Think about it. You, by some miracle, got Olive out of Shep.
那可是谢普
Shep!
跟一位得体的男性肯定有更优秀的宝宝
Imagine what you could get out of a decent guy.
我确实跟谢普生了奥丽芙
I did get Olive out of Shep.
我认为你没有权利决定
I don't think it's your
这个孩子是否有个父亲
place to decide that a kid doesn't get a dad.
我爱你
I love you.
外面有点冷
And it's cold out here.
抱歉 快进来
Oh, sorry. Yeah, come in.
这是什么意思
What is the meaning of this?
我的私房♥照
My private naked photos!
简 我们没想到你会这样发现
Oh, Jane, we didn't want you to find out this way.
这些艳照被装在一个标有
These appeared on my husband's
"下水道紧急服务报价"的信封里放在我丈夫桌上
desk in an envelope marked, "Urgent plumbing quote."
他打开的时候快吓死了
I mean, he was horrified when he opened it!
实际情况是 我正打算告诉你
The truth is I wanted to tell you...
我们之间的私情 他应该是慌了吧
...about our ongoing love affair and he must have panicked.
我老公肯定不会跟你有一腿
My husband is not having an affair with you.
麦考斯先生 麦考斯先生
Mr. Michaels! Mr. Michaels!
打扰一下 麦考斯先生
Excuse me, Mr. Michaels.
抱歉 但是简把色情图片
I'm sorry, but Jane has
带来了孩子们的操场
just brought pornography into the playground.
什么
Whoa, what?
这绝对是恶意蓄谋的 麦考斯先生
It's wildly malicious, Mr. Michaels,
但我决定不对学校
but I've chosen not to press charges
提出控诉
against the school.
天呐
Oh, dear.
不是的 是她想用这些诱惑我丈夫
No! She's planted these in an attempt to seduce my husband!
布莱恩
Brian?
尽管布莱恩丑陋油腻像头猪
As physically disgusting and ham-colored as Brian may be,
你在心里也要原谅他
you have to find it in your heart to forgive him
- 拍了这些裸照 - 这些明明是自♥拍♥
- for taking these naked pics. - They're bloody selfies!
乌姆斯夫人 我必须要请您
Mrs. Wooms, I must respectfully request
立刻离开学校
that you remove yourself from school property at once,
因为我确信您今早的所作所为
because I'm almost certain
应该是违法的
what you've done here this morning is illegal.
绝对是 因为从这一张都能看到我的阴♥部♥
Especially because you can see my pussy in this one.
- 天呐 快拿走 - 谢谢
- Oh, dear, just... - Thank you.
很抱歉 简
I am so sorry, Jane.
这次只是个警告
That was just a warning.
妈妈
Mummy!
在学校开心吗
Did you have a lovely time?
开心 我游了泳 还照着松鼠的脸就来了一发
Yeah, I went swimming and I shot a squirrel in the face.
是啊 她快变成游戏小能手了
Yeah. She's getting to be a really good little game hunter.
再见 爸爸
Bye, Daddy!
- 再见妈妈 - 再见
- See you later, Mum. Bye! - Bye.
生存课上她把便便和泥做成了漂亮的蛋糕
She got all her shit pretty caked in mud at the survival class.
真棒 我们得谈谈
Great. I need to talk to you.
如果是为了给狗的肉的话
If this is about that meat for the dogs,
我当时不知道那是偷来的
I didn't know it was stolen.
我也是从警用无线电频道上
I heard about that venison heist
听说的鹿肉失窃 就跟其他人一样
over my police scanner, same as everyone else.
不 我就把肉当作是偷的
No, I assumed it was stolen.
总之杂货店就是大公♥司♥的偷税贼
Grocery stores are giant corporate tax thieves anyway,
他们让小商户倒闭
putting small butchers out of business.
自从星巴克开业以来
I haven't set foot inside a Starbucks,
我从没踏进过任何一家店
any Starbucks, since they first opened.
是啊 因为你是个聪明绝顶的叛逆者 我明白
Yeah, 'cause you're a rebel who's smarter than everybody else. I got that.
听着
Listen!
我要生孩子了
I am going to have another baby.
是啊 能看得出来 你脸色不太好
Yeah, I can tell. You look like shit.
要么是怀孕要么白血病 或者都有
It was either that or leukemia. Could have both.
我没有怀孕 你个傻♥逼♥
No, I am not pregnant, you GI Joe crackhead.
我将会怀一个
I am going to have another baby,
捐精者的孩子
with a sperm donor.
你要把不知道是哪个
You're gonna stick some
悲催废柴的精♥液♥戳到自己身体里吗
pathetic random loser's spunk up yourself?
是啊
Yeah.
你的
Yours.
什么意思 什么我的
What do you mean, mine?
我已经考虑了很久
Well, I've been thinking for some time
尽管你是我这辈子
that, even though you are, by far,
认识的最垃圾的人
the worst human being that I have ever met
我希望你永远活在悲惨痛苦中
and I wish you a lifetime of pain and misery...
但是我们生了最棒的孩子
we somehow made the best kid.
她需要一个弟弟或妹妹
And she needs a sibling.
我就知道会这样
I knew this would happen.
你知道会怎样
You knew what would happen?
- 你想重操旧爱 - 见鬼
- You want to get back on my dick. - Christ! No.
我去过生育门诊 我们就在那里进行
I've been to a fertility clinic. We would do it there.
我可是要收费的
Yeah, I'm gonna have expenses.
作为一个全职手♥淫♥者
You've dedicated your entire life to being a wanker,
你不妨开始收费 行啊
you might as well start getting paid for it. Fine.
是个有趣的提议 小凯
It's an interesting proposition, Kit.
那你是答应了
So is that a yes?
我需要点时间跟我的律师团队沟通下
I'm gonna need some time to talk it over with my legal team.
很好
Great.
可以
Okay.
他们爱我
They love me.
或者说对我爱恨交加
Even when they hate me, they love me.