康纳一家（2018）

"有东西在我的汤里拉屎了"
"Something pooped in my soup."
我理解 我们都是非利士人
I understand. We're philistines!
我说的这词对吗
Did I use that word right?
听着 丹 我得回家
Look, Dan, I gotta go home.
我习惯了一个人住
I'm used to living alone,
这里的人太多了
and there's just too many people here.
我在洗澡的时候 贝琪闯进来上厕所
I'm in the shower, and Becky comes in to use the bathroom,
然后 我上厕所的时候
and then I'm using the bathroom,
哈莉丝闯进来刷牙
and Harris comes in to brush her teeth.
你知道吗 我现在不得不在衣柜里剔牙
Did you know that now I'm flossing in the closet
就为了得到些许安宁
just to get some peace?
你要我杀了谁
Who could I kill?
我来帮你减少人数
I'll thin out the herd for you.
不 丹 我们谈过这事的
No, Dan, you know, we talked about this.
你知道我最终还是得回家的
You knew I'd have to go home eventually.
是啊 但是我没想到你真的会执行这个想法
Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually follow through on it.
如果我坚持做了我说过要做的每一件事
If I followed through on everything I said I was gonna do,
我就会一身肌肉 且我们可以睡在金山上了
I'd be nothing but muscle and we'd be sleeping on gold.
看看那堵在保护孩子的妈妈组成的人墙
Look at that wall of moms out there protecting their kids
她们就站在抗♥议♥活动的前线
at the front of the protest line.
她们站在那里 任由豆袋弹往脸上打
I mean, they're out there taking beanbag rounds to the face,
你连起身帮我拿瓶苏打水都不愿意
and you won't even get up to get me a soda.
那是因为她们的孩子在那里抗♥议♥
That's because their kids are out there protesting,
而不是领导着"占领沙发乱抱怨"行动
not leading the "Occupy‐the‐couch‐ and‐bitch" Movement.
你想让我出去抗♥议♥吗
You want me to go out there?
我只是说 你就躺在那里
Well, all I'm saying is you're laying there
抱怨着我们不肯为你做什么
and whining about us not doing anything.
如果这件事真的对你来说很重要
If this was really that important to you,
你就会在外面和别人一起抗♥议♥了
you'd be out there with everybody else.
好吧
Okay.
等等 你真的要去吗
Wait. You're really going?
你说得对
You're right.
我这样实在太虚伪了 就坐在那里不动
I mean, I'm being a hypocrite just sitting there
而其他人都在外面改变世界呢
while everybody else is out there changing things.
好吧 跟别人保持六英尺的距离
Alright, well, stay six feet away from everybody,
如果局势恶化
and if anything goes down,
你就大喊"我怀孕了" 然后跑进书店
you just yell "I'm pregnant" and run into a bookstore.
没人会去打劫书店
No one's looting bookstores.
电视上见
See you on TV.
我可真没料到这一出
Well, I didn't see that coming.
你竟然鼓励自己的女儿
You actually inspired your daughter
去外面为她信仰的事抗争
to go out and stand up for what she believes in.
是啊 这还挺酷的
Yeah, that was pretty cool.
本来我只是想让她难受而已
I was just trying to make her feel bad.
别着急 但是你可以给我写张房♥租支票吗
No rush, but could you write me a check for the rent
我就站在这 盯着你
while I stand here and stare at you?
已经写好了
Already done.
露易丝在洗澡中途刮腿毛的时候 我给她了
I gave it to Louise while she was shaving her legs in the shower.
另外...
Oh, and, um...
哈莉丝这个月可能不能付房♥租了
Harris is going to have a problem covering her share this month.
为什么
Why?
因为 她今天早上给我发信息
Because she texted me this morning
在抗♥议♥活动结束前 她不想回去上班
that she doesn't want to go back to work until the protest is over,
而她的老板说 如果她明天还不去上班
and her boss said that if she's not there tomorrow,
就把她开除
he's gonna let her go.
该死的 达琳
Damn it, Darlene!
你得劝劝那孩子恢复理智啊
You gotta talk some sense into that kid.
但是 爸 这是她人生中唯一一次机会
Yeah, but, dad, this is the only time in her life
可以做这样的事情
that she can do something like this.
她想要让人们听见自己的声音 我能理解
She wants to have her voice heard, and I‐I get it.
听着 也许 我可以帮她付她那部分房♥租
Look, maybe ‐‐ maybe I can cover her part of the rent.
这都是你的错
This is all your fault.
你让她觉得自己很特别
You made her think she was special.
你是从哪里有这种思想的
Where'd you get that?!
肯定不是我遗传给你的
You didn't get it from me.
我是绝对不让孩子认为自己很特别的
I made a point of never telling any of you kids you were special.
然而不知怎么的 我们都很成功 很幸福
And yet somehow, we're all successful and happy anyway.
失陪了 我得回参议院去了
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the Senate.
我得跟你谈一下
I need to talk to you for a minute.
如果你带了刀来 我有枪
If you've got a knife, I've got a gun.
我不是来捅死你的
I'm not here to stab you,
因为这样大家都会知道是我♥干♥的
'cause everyone would know it was me.
听着 我觉得我知道你为什么要辞职
Look, I think I know why you're quitting.
我告诉过你我为什么要辞职
I told you why I'm quitting.
是吗
Did you?
如果我告诉你我是个正在恢复期的酒鬼
Would you say something different
你会给出不同的原因吗
if I told you I'm a recovering alcoholic?
我会说 在装配线上没有秘密
I would say there's no secrets on an assembly line,
你是第四个告诉我你是个酒鬼的人
and you're the fourth person to tell me that you're a drunk.
流言蜚语很残酷 但是意外得准确
Gossip is cruel, but surprisingly accurate.
我来这里是因为 尽管我非常不喜欢你
I'm here because, as much as I don't like you,
但如果你有成瘾问题
if you have an addiction problem,
你得去参加互助会
you need to go to meetings,
而且
and...
有必要的话 我会跟你一起
I'll go with you if I have to.
你为什么要帮我
Why are you offering to help me?
第一 你是我的上司
Well, for one, you're my boss,
我想要继续当一位微不足道的小职工
and I plan to continue to be a really marginal employee.
这是确定无疑的
That's a given.
还有呢
And?
还有 我之前怀孕了
And I got pregnant
不得不为了我的孩子戒酒
and had to get sober for my baby.
我一直想着
And I always thought...
如果有人曾提出要帮我
if somebody had offered to help me,
我也许会早点戒酒
I might've stopped sooner.
达琳对你的评价不对 你这人还不错
Darlene's wrong about you. You're okay.
我辞职不是因为我是瘾君子 要避免药物检测
I'm not quitting to avoid the drug test because I'm an addict.
我是变性人
I'm trans.
哇 大反转啊
Whoa. Plot twist.
现在你理解我为何不能接受监督下的药物检测了吧
Now you get why I'm not comfortable with supervised testing.
我完全理解
I totally get it.
如果你不愿意的话 不应该被强迫出柜
You shouldn't be forced to come out if you don't want to.
不不
Oh, no, no.
我很早很早以前就出柜了
I came out a long, long time ago.
我所有的丈夫都知道
All of my husbands have known.
我的朋友知道 我的家人知道
My friends know, my family knows.
只是有些人不知道 也不需要知道
It's the people that don't know and don't need to know.
替我♥干♥洗衣服的员工没必要知道
It doesn't matter to my dry cleaner,
我的同事更没必要知道
and it doesn't matter at work.
但是你不得不因此辞职 这不公平
But it's not fair that you have to quit.
不值得为此患上创伤后应激障碍
It's not worth the PTSD.
在我们这个群体里 这种事很常见
That happens a lot in our community.
像《神探飞机头》之类的电影
Movies like "Ace Ventura,"
那些男人发现身边的女人都是变性人后全都吐了
where all the men vomit because they find out the woman is trans,
会让你不想去跟人分享一些事
doesn't make you want to share stuff.
或许他们呕吐是因为
Maybe they were vomiting
他们发现自己身处《神探飞机头》那部电影里
because they found out they were in "Ace Ventura."
大家都讨厌严格监督下的药物检测
Everybody hates the idea of supervised drug testing.
我们可以抗争
We'll fight it!
我不想抗争
I don't want to.
我曾经抗争过很多次
I fought my battles.
我经历了漫长的路程 才有现在幸福的生活
It's taken a long journey to get this freakin' happy,
不值得为这事再倒♥退♥回去
and it's not worth going back.
我懂了
I get it.
但你知道我们还是会抗争的 对吧
But you know we're still gonna fight it, right?
你戒酒有多久了
How long have you been sober?
一年多
Over a year.
谢谢你的询问
Thank you for asking.
我问这个是因为我想知道你的精神状态有多稳定
I asked because I want to see how stable you are.
我刚刚将非常私密的事信任地告诉了你
I just trusted you with something very private.