康纳一家（2018）

你知道做什么会很有趣吗
You know what would be fun?
我现在只觉得三件事情很有趣
There's only three things I find fun anymore.
我已经在看电视了 所以还剩下喝啤酒和做♥爱♥
I'm already watching TV, so that leaves beer and sex.
鉴于我们刚起床
Since we just got up,
我猜你说的是喝啤酒
I'm assuming you're talking about beer.
好啊 来一罐
And what the hell, I'll have one!
其实 我指的是开车去乡下
Actually, I was gonna suggest a drive in the country.
但我也很喜欢这里早上的各种吵闹声
But I'm liking the sound of a morning buzz.
我们真是天生一对
We were meant to be.
跟你们说一下 这是我们从纳维尔医生那里
Well, just so you know, this is the last bag of chicken feed
能拿到的最后一袋鸡饲料
we'll be getting from Dr. Neville.
我想 我终于把他吓跑了
I think I finally scared him off
因为我把我人生中的所有恐怖故事都告诉他了
by telling him all of my life's horror stories.
你所有的故事
All your stories?
是啊 丹 我什么都告诉他了
Yes, Dan. I told him everything.
从贝芙告诉我 我四岁的时候
From Bev telling me when I was four
她就不喜欢抱我 因为我骨头很尖
that she didn't like hugging me because I had sharp bones.
我说的很清楚
I made it very clear
我是个心理有问题的 自我厌弃的神经病
that I'm a damaged, self-loathing mess
他应该逃命去
and he should run for his life.
突然 他收到消息说有匹马患了肝肿瘤
And suddenly, there was a horse with a liver tumor,
他就跑出去了
and he ran out.
等我们叠完这些衣服后
After we finish folding this load,
我就得带孩子出去散步了
I'm taking the baby for a walk.
又来了
There you go.
又来提醒我你可以生孩子 而我不行
Another reminder that you can have babies and I can't.
带孩子散步 给孩子洗澡 给孩子喂奶
Walking the baby, bathing the baby, feeding the baby.
如果不做这些事情的话
If you don't do those things,
他们就会把孩子带走
they come and take the baby away.
那至少我不用在听到跟孩子有关的事了
Then at least I wouldn't have to hear about the baby.
你不能生又不是我的错
Hey, it's not my fault.
这么能生就是一种负担
It's a burden being so fertile.
你那下面全是灰尘和蜘蛛网真是走大运了
You're lucky it's all dust bunnies and cobwebs down there.
而我的下面就像奔涌的密西西比河
Meanwhile, I'm flowin' like the mighty Mississipp'.
我很遗憾 妈
I-I'm sorry, mom.
我知道你一直很期待想生个孩子
I know how much you were looking forward to having a baby.
但是别担心 你已经老了
But don't worry. You're old.
你的痛苦很快就会结束的
Your pain will be over soon.
那就太好了
Well, that would be great,
但如果不是这样 我期待你能生孩子
but if not, I expect you to have kids.
我会的 我保证
I will. I promise.
你不曾给过我的爱
The love that you withheld from me,
我会去陌生男人那里找寻 然后生一大堆私生子
I'll seek from strange men and have lots of bastard children.
这样说本来不会让我好受点 但恰恰相反
You think that doesn't make me feel better, but it does.
在创办杂♥志♥失败之后 我以为生一个孩子
After the magazine failed, I thought that having a baby
会是我的新使命
was gonna be, like, my new sense of purpose.
现在我连这也失败了
And then I failed at that.
我现在有点迷茫
Now I'm just kinda lost.
你不是迷茫 你是自♥由♥的
You're not lost. You're free!
你可以自♥由♥尝试不同的事物
You're free to try something different.
哈莉丝基本算是成年人了
Harris is basically an adult,
而马克比你聪明 他不需要你
and Mark is smarter than you and doesn't need you.
他也没那么聪明
He's not that much smarter.
如果你比他聪明的话
If you were smarter than him,
你就会知道他到底比你聪明多少了
you would know how much smarter he is than you.
听着 我也许有更多时间了
Look, maybe I have more time,
但是我甚至不知道该做什么
but I don't even know what I would do.
我是说 我需要什么 我确实需要更多的钱
I mean, what do I need? Well, I do need more money.
你觉得主管的工资会是多少
What do you think they pay supervisors?
他们开的车都被喷漆成了一种颜色
They drive cars that are painted all one color,
所以 比我们高
so...more than us.
我做现在的工作真的太大材小用了
Well, I am way overqualified for what I'm doing now.
如果我可以对你颐指气使 让你痛苦不堪
And if I got to boss you around and make your life miserable,
那就像是福利一样
that's like a benefits package.
唯一的问题是 我得拍管理层的马屁
The only problem is I have to suck up to management
才能升职
in order to get into it.
但我跟那些人说上话都很困难
I mean, I can barely talk to those people,
更别说拍马屁了
let alone kiss their ass.
跟管理层的人说话并不难
Talking to somebody from management isn't hard.
来 瞧好了 我来当你
Here, watch this. I'll be you.
你好 我是达琳
Hi, I'm Darlene.
你就是那个古怪的毒舌婆娘
You're that weird, little troll
整天搞得自己像是高人一等似的啊
that walks around acting all superior.
是的 但那只是一种防卫机制
Yes, but it's just a defense mechanism
因为我不如我姐姐漂亮和聪明
because I'm not as pretty and smart as my sister.
你好 我是贝琪
Hi, I'm Becky!
我本来可以早点到的
I would have gotten here earlier,
但是我忙着逃避
but I was busy avoiding
我只是个外貌普通的金发女孩的可悲现实
the sad reality that I'm an average-looking blonde
只会借酒浇愁 毁了未来
who drank away my future!
天啊 妈
God, mom,
你可真会毁掉有趣的游戏 把它变得刻薄
way to take a fun game and make it mean.
这就是我平常做的事
That's what I do.
我是扫兴大♥师♥
I'm a killer of joy.
真棒 又变得有趣了
There -- it's fun again.
那是罗宾 死亡天使
There's Robin, the angel of death.
我喜欢管理层的人出现在休息室
I love when management shows up in the break room...
就好像他们是我们中的一员
like they're one of us.
我有没有跟你们说她给我记过的事
Did I tell you she wrote me up?
我就迟到了10分钟
I was ten minutes late.
贝芙丽·罗丝一直在哭
Beverly Rose was crying
因为我们找不到她的玩具了
because we couldn't find her binky.
那也太差劲了吧 你不该被这样对待
That's terrible. You don't deserve that.
或许是你活该
Or maybe you do.
我们共事的时间还没那么久
We haven't been working together that long.
她完全不知道我工作得多辛苦
She has no idea how hard I work.
糟糕 我们应该在5分钟前就回生产线了
Oh, crap! We should have been back on the line five minutes ago.
达琳 你来早了5分钟
Darlene! You're five minutes early!
现在是谁看着我们的生产站呢 我去吧
Who's watching our station? I'll go!
你好
Hey.
你好
Oh, hey.
介意我坐在你对面吗
Mind if I join you?
不介意 但是你会染上管理层的恶臭味
Uh, sure, but you'll get the stink of management all over you,
你的同事们会对你避之不及
and your fellow coworkers are gonna shun you.
要是我早知道这么做
If I knew that was all it took
就能避开那些人 让我能清净一点的话
to get some peace and quiet from those people,
我早就会来跟你坐了
I would've sat with you a long time ago.
我是罗宾·谢斯基 管理主管
Robin Shetsky, Managing Supervisor.
我知道
I know.
我叫达琳·康纳 默默无闻的工人
Uh, Darlene Conner, faceless drone.
你就是达琳·康纳
You're Darlene Conner.
不不 这是好事
No, no. It's good.
大老板注意到你了
The big bosses have noticed you.
我看了一眼你的档案
I took a look at your file.
显然 你很聪明 勤勉
Apparently you're smart, diligent,
其他的员工已经恨上你了
other employees already hate you.
你真的很有管理潜力
You've got real management potential.
哇 管理潜力
Wow. Management potential.
在我决定来这里拍你马屁的时候
That was the furthest thing from my mind
我脑子里完全没有想过这回事
when I decided to come over here and kiss your ass.
不 这真是太棒了
No, really, this is great,
因为现在我不需要请求看你家孩子的照片
'cause now I don't have to ask to see pictures of your kids
然后强行说他们很可爱了
and tell you they're adorable.
我没有孩子
I don't have kids,
但是我和我丈夫的确养了一只法国斗牛犬
but my husband and I do have a French Bulldoodle.
恭喜啊
Oh, congratulations.
你终于找到一种不成功的小狗结合体了
You finally found a Poodle combination that doesn't really work.
好了 我就跟你说实话吧
Look, I'm gonna be honest with you.
我真觉得我的头脑足够让我升入管理层
I truly believe that I have the brains to be in management.
我只是需要有个人来指导我
I just need someone to mentor me.