康纳一家（2018）

是吗 都是谁
Oh, yeah? Who's that?
就是 《老友记》
You know -- "Friends."
瑞秋 罗斯 莫妮卡 菲比 钱德勒
Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler,
还有个傻子
and the dumb guy.
这样啊 我从来没看过那部剧
Oh, yeah. I never watched that show.
看到标题就不想看了
The title turned me off.
"老友" 听起来压力很大
"Friends." That seemed like a lot of pressure.
我真希望我能多来这里
I wish I was here more.
这里总是有很多人
There's always people around.
但是要我来来回♥回♥的话 太难了
But when I go back and forth, it's hard,
因为我总是丢三落四的
because I always forget my stuff.
好吧 我知道这对你来说不容易
Yeah, well, I know this isn't easy for you,
我真的觉得 以后我们应该多谈谈这事
and I really think we should talk more about this later.
但是现在 我得去工作了 好吗
But right now, I gotta get to work, okay?
所以 进屋吧
So come on back inside.
你可以陪我在这里多待一会儿吗
Can you stay up here with me for a few more minutes?
好啊
Sure.
天呐 什么都没有变
Oh, man. Things never change.
那是卡尔森老太太在晒衣服
That right there is old lady Carlson hanging out her laundry.
等一下
Oh, wait a minute.
那肯定是她女儿
That's got to be her daughter.
跟她比起来 我保养得还不错吧
I look great compared to her, right?
至少你不驼背
Well, you don't have the hump.
而且我的个性活泼 能点亮整个房♥间
And I've got a personality that lights up a room.
我们才在这里工作四天
We've only been working here for four days.
我们会惹麻烦的 把手♥机♥放下
We're gonna get in trouble. Put the phone down.
不行
No!
D.J.会想知道玛丽有多伤心的
D.J.'s gonna want to know how upset Mary is.
"语♥音♥邮箱已满"
"Voicemail is full"?
谁会想给D.J.打电♥话♥
Who the hell wants to talk to D.J.?
真有意思
Oh, that's kind of fun.
除非切割成型工序出了大事故
Unless something bad happened in Cutting and Forming,
如果真是那样就太吓人了
in which case it's terrifying.
或者说 我们中的一位马上有机会
Or there's an immediate opening for one of us
可以去切割成型工序了
in Cutting and Forming.
对于断手的人来说 他也太开心了
Pretty cheerful for a guy who just lost a hand.
你知道吗
Oh, you know what?
我们一定要为玛丽庆祝万圣节
We definitely have to do a Halloween thing for Mary.
是啊 这能解决一时的问题
Yeah, that'll solve the problem now,
但是听起来D.J.陪她的时间不多
but sounds like D.J. isn't around much.
而我们总不能让她一个人在她家里待着吧
And we just can't leave her hanging around her house alone.
知道吗
You know what?
我只知道一个解决办法
I only see one option.
在吉娜回来之前
Until Geena gets back,
我们得让她搬来家里住
we gotta move her into the house.
我不确定我有没有那么多的时间陪她
I don't know if I can make that time commitment,
我要照顾贝芙丽·罗丝什么的
with Beverly Rose and all.
如果我们一起照顾她的话
I mean, if we're both looking after her,
我觉得是可以的
I think it'll be okay.
不如这样吧
Okay, how about this?
你来当凶悍的姑姑
You be the hard-ass aunt,
我当有趣的姑姑 我会跟她说
and I'll be the fun aunt who says,
"另一个姑姑是不是很扫兴
"Isn't the other aunt a killjoy?
我们往她车里藏条鱼吧"
Let's hide a fish in her car."
好啊 鉴于楼上的廉价旅馆已经人满为患了
Sure. And since it's already an overcrowded flophouse upstairs,
她就跟她的有趣姑姑住地下室吧
she can live in the basement with her fun aunt.
你是说 跟住家保姆一样吗
You mean like a live-in babysitter?
好吧 只要你觉得这是对玛丽最好的安排就行
I mean, whatever you think is best for Mary.
本 杰姬 和爸爸几个人中
Between Ben and Jackie and Dad,
在我们下班回家前 他们总有一个是在家的
somebody'll be there during the day until we get home.
是啊 如果我们从D.J.家拿点她的东西来
Yeah, if we bring some of her stuff over from D.J.'s,
我觉得她会更开心的
I think she'll be happier.
而且 我们应该留张纸条
And we should leave a note.
就写上 "希望你出差一切顺利
Um, "Hope your business trip was successful.
我们要将你唯一的孩子带来与我们同住"
We're taking your only child to live with us."
好吧 这事我们见到他以后再说吧
Yeah. We'll deal with that when we see him.
我正在试着想象 如果有人想
I'm just trying to imagine how I would feel
将我的孩子带去别的地方住 我会是什么感受
if someone wanted to take one of my kids to live someplace else.
什么都别说 我正在细细品味
Don't say a word. I'm just trying to savor it.
糟糕 是马克的学校发来的
Oh, crap. It's Mark's school.
他跟人打架了
He got into a fight
他们要罚他停学两天
and they're suspending him for two days.
他们把他送回家了
They sent him home.
天啊 太糟糕了
Oh, man. That's too bad.
他本来应该是好孩子的 对吧
He was gonna be the good one, right?
知道别人的一天过得比自己糟糕 心里还挺舒服的
It's nice to know someone else is having a worse day than you are.
给
Here you go.
我的天啊 你没事吧
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
我没事
I'm fine.
是谁揍的你
Well, who beat you up?
为什么你觉得一定是别人揍我
Why do you assume somebody beat me up?
让我来告诉你
And for your information,
科林才是哭着跑走的那个
Colin's the one who ran away crying.
好吧 漂亮 你赢了
Uh, okay, great. You won.
那也不能让这事性质好一点
That doesn't make it any better.
你不应该打架的
You're not supposed to be fighting.
有的时候就是忍♥不住
Sometimes you can't help it.
天 我还记得我上学打架的时候
Man, I remember my school-fightin' days.
是啊 那个时候
Yeah, back then,
你们这些姑娘过去还把剃须刀片藏在头发里呢
you gals used to carry razor blades in your beehives.
我不需要带剃须刀片
I didn't need to carry razor blades,
因为我有真♥相♥与正义
because I had truth and justice!
好吧 你为什么要打架
Okay, so why were you fighting?
科林一直处处针对我戴口罩的事
Colin was being a jerk about me wearing a mask,
-而丹外公说... -我早该知道的
- and Grandpa Dan said that... - Oh, I should've known.
-爸 -不 不是
- Dad! - No! No.
外公说我应该跟他好好谈谈
Grandpa Dan said that I should talk to him
阐述我的观点
and explain my point of view.
好吧 有点意外
Okay. That's a surprise.
没事了
Never mind!
我在跟科林解释科学常识
I was telling Colin all about the science
但他不肯听 我就骂他是白♥痴♥
and he wouldn't listen, and I called him an idiot.
然后他打了我 我就揍了回去
And he hit me, and I hit him back,
他当时震惊不已
and he was so surprised,
我就抓住机会又揍了他一拳
I had another chance to hit him.
我跟你说过 别浪费你的时间跟那些人多费口舌
I told you, do not waste your time talking to people like that.
那只会引发暴♥力♥行为
It only leads to violence.
但外公说得对
But Grandpa was right!
怼回去的感觉爽极了
It felt good to talk back.
天呐
Oh, man.
外公让你陷入到非常糟糕的情境当中
You see, what Grandpa did was he set you up for a really bad situation.
我回头再处理这事 现在 穿上外套吧
I'm gonna deal with that later, but put on your jacket.
为什么
Why?
我带你出去吃晚餐
I'm taking you out to dinner.
这是对我的惩罚吗
Is that my punishment?
在新冠肆虐时期 带我去餐厅吃饭
Taking me out to a restaurant during COVID?
不 我们是想安慰下玛丽
No, we're trying to make Mary feel better.
「美味房♥子」餐厅把停车场改成了室外用餐场所
Casita Bonita turned their parking lot into outdoor dining,
然后挂上了漂亮的油布
and they put this nice tarp up,
这样你就不会看到垃圾堆里的负鼠在盯着你了
so you don't even notice the possums staring at you from the dumpsters.
谁告诉你那家餐厅开门营业了的
Who told you they were open?
露易丝说他们开始供应晚餐了
Louise said they were doing dinner.
大概是她把日期搞错了
I guess she got the date wrong.
那我们为什么要开那么远的车去芝加哥
So why did we drive all the way to Chicago?
因为芝加哥凭借很多美味餐厅非常出名
Because Chicago is known for its great restaurants.
我们只在超♥市♥买♥♥了个热狗吃
We got a Costco hot dog.
还分了个油条吃
And split a churro.
随它吧 达琳
Let it go, Darlene.
随它吧
Let it go.
你为什么要穿上装扮服
Why are you wearing a costume?