欲望都市（1998）

欲望城市
（性♥爱♥专家凯莉布雷萧 并且勇于发问）
“四十而惑”
当你出席长久以来的第一次相亲
When venturing out on your first blind date in a decade,
抱持正确的态度非常重要
it's crucial to have the right attitude.
除了满怀希望…
Hope for the best...
你是泰德吗？
Ted?
抱歉 不是
Sorry.
还要有最糟的打算
Prepare for the worst.
谁知道呢 说不定会有意外的惊喜
And who knows, you just might be pleasantly surprised...
也可能没有
Or not.
我被人放鸽子了
I got stood up.
我可是放下身段去相亲
Yes, I deigned to go on a blind date against all my better judgment.
愿意做这种卑微的事...
I was willing to lower myself into the gutter...
-我怀念约会的日子 -他居然没有出现
-God, I miss dating. -And then He doesn't show.
你确定吗？
Are you sure?
他不是没出现
Well, either he didn't show,
就是被我吓跑了
or he took one look at me and ran for the hills.
哪一个比较糟？我不清楚
Which is worse? I can't decide.
我相信会有个合理的解释
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation.
-不会有更糟的事了 -这已经是最糟了
-We're gonna get to the bottom of this. -Oh, we're at the bottom.
被陌生人伤了心
A complete stranger hurt my feelings.
绝对是最糟糕的事
I'd say that's scraping bottom.
你不应该去相亲
You shouldn't even be going on blind dates.
那简直侮辱你
It's beneath you.
不是这样的
Now, that's not true.
我认识因相亲结合的恩爱夫妻
I know a lot of great couples that met on blind dates.
-艾瑞克和玛西… -好了
-Eric and Marcy... -Blech, stop.
就算他出现了
Even if he had shown up,
第一次约会也就像边喝酒边面试
most first dates are like job interviews with cocktails.
我受够了
Nah-ah, I think I'm done.
我也受够了老是吃面包
That's what I said yesterday about eating bread
所以我点了松饼
and I just ordered pancakes, so...
我明明可以跟你们共度有趣的一晚
Why should I risk having a God-awful evening
为什么要浪费在约会上？
when I am guaranteed to have fun with you guys?
亲爱的 你很体贴 但是我不可能跟你上♥床♥
Oh, honey, you're cute, but...I'm never gonna fuck you.
听着 我真的很抱歉
Look, I'm really sorry this happened to you
第一次约会时发生了这种事 以后你可以继续尝试
on your first date back out there, but you have to keep trying.
我就像土拨鼠“菲尔”(意味着冬天还将继续持续下去)
Nah-ah, no, I'm like Punxsutawney Phil.
我爬出洞穴 看到自己的影子 我要回洞穴继续过冬了
I came out, I saw my shadow, and I'm going back in.
-下个冬天再见 -你必须承担风险
-I'll see you guys next winter. -Well, you have to take some risks,
要不然会变成老姑婆
so that you don't wind up an old maid.
没错
Oh, that's right!
不能变成老姑婆
Must not wind up old maid, must not wind up old maid.
我该怎么记住这一点？
Now, how am I gonna remember that?
谁有笔？
Does anybody Have a pen?
为什么女人不结婚就是 “老姑婆”或是“老处♥女♥”
Why do we get stuck with "old maid" and "spinster"
男人就是“单身汉” 或是“花♥花♥公♥子♥”？
and men get to be "bachelors" and "playboys"?
不管他们的老二有多皱多小
No matter how shriveled their dicks are.
够了
Okay!
打住 新话题
The end, new topic.
下星期六是夏洛特36岁生日
Charlotte's 36th birthday, Saturday night.
我们这群老姑婆来闹翻曼哈顿如何
I say we spinsters take back Manhattan.
我考虑过了
Well, I've thought about it,
我决定保持35岁
and I've decided I'm sticking at 35.
你这一年过得如意吗？
Here you go. -Because it was such a good year?
我只是不想变成36岁
Because I'm just not where I thought I'd be at 36.
我内心不像36岁
I don't feel 36.
-外表也不像36岁 -没错
-And I don't look 36, right? -Oh, no.
男人对35岁的女人比较有兴趣
And men are much more interested in meeting 35-year-olds.
所以我要停在这里
So, I'm sticking.
我们都庆祝过36岁生日 现在换你了
We all turned 36 like big girls, now it's your turn.
就随她吧
Oh, let her stick.
谎报年龄是她这几年做过最明智的事
Lying about her age is the smartest thing she's done in years.
好吧 那么我们要去哪里庆祝
Okay, then. Where are we celebrating
夏洛特第二个35岁生日？
Charlotte's 35th birthday, the sequel?
抱歉 今天是保姆照顾宝宝最后一天
Sorry, today's the baby nurse's last day.
从现在开始 你要提前一年预约我
From now on, you're gonna have to book me a year in advance.
-你好像热门餐厅 -我也不能去
-Wow, you're like Nobu. -I can't go either.
理查要带我到大西洋城
Richard's taking me to Atlantic City for the weekend.
你做错什么事？
What'd you do wrong?
他喜欢赌博
Oh, he loves to gamble
他还想看一场重量级拳赛
and there's some kind of heavyweight prize fight thing he wants to see.
我们搭他的私人喷射机去
But we are going on his private jet.
不庆生也没关系
Well, no celebration is fine with me.
我们难道不能聚在一起
Are you telling me the four of us can't get together
庆祝夏洛特的生日吗？
to celebrate Charlotte's 30-faux birthday?
太离谱了
This is bullshit!
两天后 在没有朋友聚会 没有约会的晚上
Two nights later, with no friends available, no dates,
我甚至没有想看的电视节目...
not even any good bad-TV to watch...
太离谱了
This is bullshit.
这是我打的第三通 也是最后一通电♥话♥
Okay, this is my third and final phone call.
米兰达觉得史蒂夫可以帮忙照顾宝宝
Miranda thinks she can get Steve to watch the baby.
只要我们不提夏洛特的实际年龄 她就肯去
Charlotte agreed to come out as long as we don't mention her birthday, or the number 36,
这个规定仍有待商榷
I'm still a little fuzzy on the rules.
总之 你不能从大西洋城抽身吗？
Anyway, can't you get out of Atlantic City?
我不知道 我得问理查
Oh, I don't know. I'll have to ask Richard.
拜托你问 我正在看我们的
Please do, because I am looking at the last picture
最后一张合照 实在是年代久远
taken of the four of us, and it is moldy.
米兰达穿着有垫肩的上衣
Miranda is wearing a blouse with shoulder pads.
凯莉硬要我们四个 在星期六聚会
Carrie's hell-bent on getting the four of us together Saturday night.
要是我不去 你会不会失望？
Would you be terribly disappointed if I didn't come?
干脆邀请她们一起来
Well, why not just bring them along?
我加订两间房♥
I'll arrange for comped suites
飞机上有的是座位
and there's plenty of room on the jet.
太好了
Yes!
星期五 去机场的路上
That Friday, I picked up my fellow jet setter
我顺道去接同机的友人
on the way to the airport.
# Under the boardwalk #
# We'll be having some... #
我不能去了
I can't go.
我没办法和宝宝分开
I'm just...not ready to be separated from the baby.
什么？
What?
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding!
史蒂夫已经把他接走了
Steve took him two hours ago.
我自♥由♥了 我恢复自♥由♥身了
I'm free, I'm free! I'm leaving the compound!
不要吓我 我是36岁的老女人了
Don't do that to me, I'm a 36-year-old woman!
进来 等我两秒钟
C'mon in, I just need two seconds,
-就两秒钟 -好
-two seconds, two seconds. -Okay, oh, man.
梅格 你好吗？
Well, hi, Magda, how are you?
想不想看宝宝的照片？
You want to see something beautiful?
我拿给你看
Come, I show you.
看看他
-Look at him. -Mm-hmm.
看看这可爱的脸蛋
You ever see such beautiful face?
还有这一张 笑得多灿烂
Look, here. So smiley.
这一张刚洗完澡
And here, after bath,
看他的小肚皮
with his little pupik.
知道了
Okay.
真是出乎意料 霍布斯小姐
As I live and breathe, Ms. Hobbes,
没想到你也有这一天
I never thought I'd see the day.
这些照片不是我拍的 都是她拍的
That's not me, that's her.
好的 我只有这件毛衣遮得住屁♥股♥
Okay, this is the only sweater I have that covers my ass.
我能摆脱这一切和伸缩裤吗？
Do you think I can get away with this and stretchy pants all weekend?
别开玩笑了 大西洋城规定访客都要穿伸缩裤
Are you kidding? Atlantic City's the capital of stretchy pants.
而且是强制性规定
They're mandatory down there.
你好吗？
Hi, how you doin'?
你怎么又回来了？
Steve, what's wrong? What are you doing back here?
我以为我忘了换尿布...
Oh, I thought I forgot the wipeys...
其实是...
-Oh. -...but turns out...
实际是...
Um, actually...
我办不到
I don't think I can do this.
你说什么？
Excuse me?
我怕我会伤到他