歪小子斯科特：火力全开（2023）

(“小子”·尼尔的卧室内部)
(白天)
我在室友的乐队成员的葬礼上想
Okay, there I am at my roommate's bandmate's funeral thinking,
“如果我也会死呢?”
"Whoa, like, what if I can die?"
而且我刚发现自己是一个电影迷
And just when I found out I'm a cinephile?
总之 所以我才忙着写这部电影
Anyway, that's why I'm busy writing this movie.
别再打电♥话♥了
So don't bother calling.
顺便说一下 我是你儿子
This is your son, by the way.
“小子”·尼尔
Young Neil.
我什么都没写?
I've written nothing?
(晚上)
什么?
What?
我的睡眠麻痹恶魔?
My sleep paralysis demon?
(作者: “小子”·尼尔)
我在睡梦中写了一部长篇剧本
I wrote a feature-length screenplay in my sleep.
我是编剧啦!
I'm a screenwriter!
《歪小子斯科特》
(改编自 《歪小子斯科特》漫画小说)
剧名: 《第三集 雷蒙娜租碟》
(请投币!)
你改头发颜色了 怎么了 蕾蒙娜?
You changed your hair. What's up, Ramona?
没什么大事
Nothing major.
只是有人绑♥架♥了斯科特·皮尔格瑞姆 伪造了他的死亡
Just, somebody kidnapped Scott Pilgrim and faked his death.
你♥他♥妈♥在开玩笑吧
You're f****** joking.
斯黛茜 我要休息15分钟
Stacey, I'm taking my fifteen.
你20分钟前刚休息过15分钟!
You took your fifteen 20 minutes ago!
你能不能别说脏话了 有他妈顾客在
And would you stop swearing? We have f******* customers!
我他妈的!
F*** my life!
跟我详细说说
Tell me everything.
昨晚在我的梦里 我看到斯科特的子空间高速公路了
Last night, in my dreams, I saw Scott's subspace highway...
还听到他的声音了
and heard his voice.
蕾蒙娜
Ramona...
子空间什么?
Subspace what?
那不重要
It doesn't matter.
我想这意味着他还活着
I think it means he's alive.
所以我回到摇滚餐厅 查看监控录像
So I went back to The Rockit to look at the security footage
就是我们认为斯科特死亡时的录像
of what we thought was Scott's death.
有人抓住他 把他拉进了一个传送门
Someone grabbed him and pulled him into a portal.
有人想让我们以为他死了
Somebody wants us to think he's dead.
我就知道太过美好了 不可能是真的
I knew it was too good to be true.
我能吃到可颂面包吗?
Can a guy get a croissant?
华♥莱♥士♥ 你整晚都在外面吗?
Wallace? Have you been out all night?
你是说斯科特还活着吗? - 对
Did you say Scott's alive? - Yeah.
迷幻
Trippy.
如果你见到他 告诉他我换锁了
Well, if you see him, tell him I changed the locks.
如果你看到我 提醒我换锁
And if you see me, remind me to change the locks.
傍室友时代结束了吗?
Your sugar daddy days are over?
对他来说 肯定是的
For him, absolutely.
对其他人来说 我们拭目以待吧 未来还不好说
For others, we'll see. The future is a mystery.
这是你♥他♥妈♥的可颂面包!
Here's your f****** croissant!
失陪 女士们
Ladies.
为什么会有人绑♥架♥斯科特?
So why would someone kidnap Scott?
为什么他们要让我燃起希望 让我以为他死了?
And why would they get my hopes up by making it seem like he was dead?
我还没想明白
I haven't figured that out yet.
还没有?
Yet?
别告诉我 你要去找他
Don't tell me you're gonna try to find him.
我觉得我必须这么做
I think I have to.
蕾蒙娜 我不觉得这是你的责任
Ramona, I don't see how any of this is your responsibility.
你们只约会过一次 能有多好啊?
You went on one date. How good could it have been?
老实说 挺不错的
Honestly, great.
你和斯科特·皮尔格瑞姆的约会吗?
Your date with Scott Pilgrim?
天了噜
Yikes.
那你加油哦
Well, more power to you.
你接下来打算怎么做 大侦探?
So what's your next move, Columbo?
你认识所有人 对吧?
Well, you know everyone, right?
我觉得你可以 给我介绍一下斯科特生活中的人们
I thought you could give me a rundown of the major characters in Scott's life.
更像是重大嫌疑犯们吧
More like major suspects.
我们来看看 有史蒂芬·斯蒂尔斯
Well, let's see. There's Stephen Stills.
我的前男友 乐队的主唱
My ex, the singer in the band.
他就是一团糟 最简单的决定也会让他焦虑不堪
He's a mess. Too much anxiety for even the simplest decisions.
他不可能策划绑♥架♥案
No way could he mastermind a kidnapping.
然后是史蒂芬的室友 “小子”·尼尔
Then there's Stephen's roommate, Young Neil.
他弱不禁风的 而且才19岁 但别被这些骗了
He's kinda sheltered, and he's only 19, but don't let that fool you.
他就是白♥痴♥ 衬托得斯科特看起来很聪明
He's an idiot. He'd make Scott look like a genius,
但他做不到 因为那根本不可能
but he can't, because that's literally impossible.
那安薇·亚当斯呢?
What about Envy Adams?
天啊!斯科特的前女友 大人物...
Oh boy! Scott's ex. The big one--
不好意思 我要的是冰美式 但这是热美式
Excuse me. I asked for an iced Americano. This is a hot Americano--
那就加点冰块呗!
Then add some ice cubes to it!
蠢东西
You stupid f***.
就像我刚说的 安薇·亚当斯掏出了斯科特的心
As I was saying, Envy Adams pulled Scott's heart out of his chest
然后用她的漆皮战靴踩在脚下
and stomped all over it with her patent leather combat boots.
那是在她成为全球性感偶像之前
And that was before she went on to become a global sex symbol.
我看到她在葬礼上唱歌♥了
I saw her do her thing at the funeral.
她本人更性感 我们确定他们交往过吗?
She's even hotter in person. Are we sure they dated?
显然你不是 唯一一个品味有问题的人 蕾蒙娜
Yeah, you're obviously not the only one with questionable taste, Ramona.
还有谁呢?
Who else?
你知道该去找谁聊聊吗? 他的另一个前任
You know who you should talk to? His other ex.
她认识他的时间比任何人都长 - 好的 她是谁?
She's known him longer than anyone. - Okay. Who is she?
没有斯科特 还算什么性感炸♥弹♥乐队?
What is Sex Bob-omb without Scott?
他真的为我们的声音增添了一些东西 一些无法定义的东西
He really added something to our sound, something undefinable.
贝斯 他是加了贝斯的声音
Bass. He added bass.
对!没错!
Right! Exactly!
我们的乐队能不要贝斯手吗?
Can we have a band with no bass?
如果再找一个贝斯手 结果让我们水平更糟了 那怎么办?
What if we find a new bass player and they make us worse?
更有可能会让我们变得更好 因为我们可能已经很烂了
The odds are they'd make us better because we probably sucked.
肯定有斯科特的替补
There's always Scott's understudy.
不!我害怕改变!
No! I fear change!
嘿 你想试试一起演奏吗?
Hey, you wanna try playing something together?
只为玩玩?
Just for fun?
我和你吗?
Me and you?
我没看到有其他人在这里
I don't see anyone else in here.
你打鼓多久了?
How long have you been playing the drums?
很久了 从我14岁开始
A long time. Since I was 14.
打鼓是我发泄情绪的好方法
Drumming is a great outlet for my emotions.
主要是愤怒的情绪
Rage, mostly. - Wow!
哇!但我怎么知道该弹哪个音呢?
But how do I know which notes to play?
随便你 所以才叫“弹着玩”
It's up to you. That's why they call it "play."
哇!
Whoa!
你弹贝斯多久了?
How long have you been playing bass?
现在几点了?
What time is it?
下午四点
4 p.m.
那就是四个小时
Then, four hours.
我上班要迟到了
I'm late for work.
你有没有想过 跟一个经验丰富的词曲作者合作?
Have you ever thought about collaborating with a seasoned songwriter?
抱歉 我来晚了 - 我不在乎
Sorry, I'm late. - I don't care.
金 有顾客
Kim, customer.
(耻辱墙 头号♥通缉犯 欠3500美元)
Funny thought.
也许他是假装死亡 想不交滞纳金
Maybe he faked his own death to get out of paying his late fees.
你说对了一半
You're half right.
哪一半?
Which half?
他还没死
He's not dead.
总是庄家赢的
The house always wins.
这是一个蠢蛋告诉我的一件蠢事
It's just a dumb thing a dumb person told me one time.
所以你一直在 利用斯科特无意识的梦境
So. You've been using Scott's unconscious dreamscape
来更快地送光碟吗?
to deliver DVDs quicker?
你是加拿大第一个明白这一点的人
You're the first person in Canada to understand that.
这不是一个复杂的概念
It's not a complicated concept.
难怪你要让我们破产了
No wonder you're putting us out of business.
加拿大? - 不是 音像店
Canada? - No, video stores.
朱莉说你认识他最久 你们是什么时候认识的?
Julie said you knew him the longest. When did you meet?
你说你画画很好
You told me you were good at drawing.
地图很难的
Maps are hard.
如果要我画一只羊 我会画得很完美
If I had to draw a sheep, though, I'd draw it perfect.