歪小子斯科特：火力全开（2023）

哇!
Whoa!
什么?时间旅行?
What? Time travel?
什么?
What?
不好意思?
Excuse me?
这到底是什么情况?
What even is any of this?
你是谁啊?
Who are you?
我们在哪里?
Where are we?
加拿大多伦多
Toronto, Canada.
现在是什么时候?
When are we?
未来
The future.
你是...
And you're...
斯科特·皮尔格瑞姆
Scott Pilgrim.
(老斯科特·皮尔格瑞姆 37岁)
《歪小子斯科特》
(改编自 《歪小子斯科特》漫画小说)
剧名: 《两个歪小子斯科特》
(新游戏)
哇!
Whoa! Wow.
哇!
Wow!
所以我们真的活过25岁了!
So we actually make it past 25!
是啊 伙计 如果运气好 说不定还能活到40岁呢
Yeah, man. We might even make it to 40 if we're lucky.
太疯狂了!
This is wild!
所以我们怎么样?
So what's up with us?
是不是有钱又有名? 是不是赢过很多很酷的比赛?
Are we rich and famous? Do we win a lot of cool fights?
我们还行吧
We do okay.
单说我们可以留胡子这件事
The fact that we can grow a beard alone.
就已经很厉害了
Very impressive.
终于有人懂得欣赏了
Finally, somebody appreciates it.
哇!我们住在这里?不是吧!
Whoa! We live here? No way!
是的 我来带你看看我们的房♥子
Yes way. Here, let me show you our house.
哇!
Whoa!
嘿!
Hey!
这地方太酷了!
This place is so cool!
只是...你带我来这里 有什么原因吗?
It's just... Was there a reason you brought me here?
因为我正在跟一个家伙打架
Because I was kind of in the middle of fighting some dude.
他说他是什么冰球联盟的成员
He said he was part of some kind of hockey league.
邪恶前任联盟 让我回想起很多以前的冒险
The League of Evil Exes. That takes me back so many adventures ago.
没错 邪恶前任
That's right, evil exes.
到底发生什么事了? - 我来详细跟你说说
Whatever happened with that? - Well, let me break it down for you.
跟那些前任打架 是我们这辈子最大的错误
Fighting those exes was the biggest mistake of our entire life.
因为我们输了? - 不是
Because we lost? - No.
因为我们赢了
Because we won.
来吧 我带你去看看
Come on, I'll show you.
(虚拟现实室)
哇!虚拟现实! 你在未来有虚拟现实!
Whoa! VR?! - You have virtual reality in the future?
对 我们什么都有
Yeah, we have it all.
未来比他们最初预想的更具有未来感
The future's more futuristic than they originally predicted.
你会爱上这里的! - 是吗?要多久?
You're gonna love it here! - I am? For how long?
欢迎来到虚拟现实室
Welcome to the VR chamber.
哇!
Wow!
就会说“哇!” 邱小刀什么时候来这里了?来吧
"Wow!" When did Knives Chau get here? Come on.
试试这个
Give this one a spin.
(美好回忆)
我和蕾蒙娜?你是怎么做到的?
Me and Ramona? How did you do this?
很简单 我在网上雇了一个书呆子
It's so easy. I paid some nerd on the Internet.
就是那个人 我认识他
That's that one guy. I know him.
这就是联盟吗? 他们看起来没有很厉害
This is the league, eh? They don't look so tough.
那家伙玩滑板玩死了
That guy just skateboarded to his death.
他们都是笨蛋 七个十足的笨蛋
They're chumps. Seven deadly chumps.
等等 那是我们的前女友吗? 她在这里做什么?
Wait, is that our ex? What's she doing here?
我们必须面对自己的过去吗? 因为这听起来很糟糕
Do we have to confront our past or something? Because that sounds terrible.
我告诉你 整件事都很糟糕
I'm telling you, the whole thing was terrible.
为什么呢?
And for what?
你揍了一个女生的胸部?
You punched a girl in the boob?
有些情况是我无法控制的
Circumstances beyond my control.
蕾蒙娜和机器人约会 好新潮啊
So Ramona dated a robot. That's progressive.
不是 她是跟双胞胎约会 他们是人类
No, she dated the Twins. They're humans.
这是什么? - 又一个红色警旗 伙计
What is this? Another red flag, pal.
我没看到任何旗子 都是红色的呀
I don't see any flag, and it's all red.
不 这是比喻 天啊!
No, it's a figure of speech. God!
我们结婚了!还挺甜蜜呢
We get married? This is really sweet, actually.
去佛罗里达度蜜月!我喜欢!
And a honeymoon in Florida! I love it!
是啊 我见到牛逼的擎天柱了!
Yeah. I met Optimus Prime! Optimus f****** Prime.
(结婚纪念日快乐 蕾蒙娜!)
这是一个很棒的项目 - 那是...
This is a really nice project, man. Is that...
(我爱你!)
That's not part of it anymore. Ignore that one.
这部分已经不存在了 你忽略吧
我叫他们把这里去掉了 下一个画面 下面才是最重要的
I told them to take that out. Next screen. The next one is what's important.
(离婚)
这部分看起来画风完全变了
Now this one looks like it's in a completely different style.
你在说什么? 即使没有更好 也是一样的
Now what are you talking about? It's the exact same, if not better.
没有 肯定更糟了 不管是谁画的 艺术水平肯定很差
No. It's definitely worse. Whoever did this is bad at art.
(剧终)
所以我们离婚了?
So we're divorced?
嗯 严格来说 我们是分居的
Well, technically we're separated.
天啊!什么时候的事?
Man! When?
蜜月之后 十二三年之后吧 是的
After the honeymoon. A few... Twelve, 13 odd years later. Yeah.
这么多年!我们肯定有很多好时光吧
Years! What? We must have had some good times.
当然 但是并不在这些模拟之中
Sure. But those aren't in the simulation.
继续参观吧
Back to the tour.
我没提乐队呢
I haven't even mentioned the band.
性感炸♥弹♥乐队还存在吗?酷!
Sex Bob-Omb is still going? Cool!
性感炸♥弹♥乐队! 不是 那是古老的历史了
Sex Bob-Omb? No, ancient history.
我在说我的新乐队 双声乐队
I'm talking about my new band, Pop'n TwinBee.
成员是我和双胞胎 所以叫这名字
The members are me and the Twins. Thus, the name.
你没懂吗? 我跟你说过双胞胎的事吧?
You didn't catch that? I told you about the Twins, though, right?
跟蕾蒙娜约会的双胞胎? 是啊 一分钟前说的
The twins who dated Ramona? Yeah, like a minute ago.
你说我们打败他们了 - 是啊
You said we defeated them. - Yeah. Duh.
我们痛扁他们了 但他们在家里重生后
We kicked their ass. But after they respawned at home,
我想他们吸取教训了
I guess they learned their lesson or whatever.
你知道 有时候 坏人会变成好人
You know, sometimes, bad guys turn into great guys.
以后你会知道的
You'll learn that on a later adventure.
来看看我们的新视频
Check out our new video.
波普爵士乐 对吧? 浏览量超过100次了呢!
It's a bop, right? Over a hundred views!
其实是105次
Hundred and five, actually.
嘿 为什么老华♥莱♥士♥的旧东西 都在我们的车♥库♥里?
Hey, why is all of Old Wallace's old stuff in our garage?
“我们”的车♥库♥?
"Our" garage?
我说“我们家”的时候 你以为我是指你和我了啊
When I said "our house," you thought I meant me and you.
咚咚 你们要喝点冰茶吗?
Knock, knock. You boys want some iced tea?
(老华♥莱♥士♥·威尔斯)
俩斯科特 哎呀
Two Scotts. Yikes.
竟然没人提到刺猬索尼克呢
Nobody mention Sonic the Hedgehog .
不是看上去那样的 - 刺猬索尼克!
It's not what it looks like. - Sonic the Hedgehog?!
老华♥莱♥士♥怎么买♥♥得起 这么大的房♥子?无意冒犯
How can Old Wallace afford such a big house? No offense.
没事 我是买♥♥不起 有点傍大款的情况
None taken. I can't afford it. It's kind of a sugar daddy situation.
傍什么?
Sugar what?
我丈夫是... - 不要
My husband is-- - Don't.
这又不是秘密
Well, it's not a secret.
他还没准备好
He's not ready.
我还没让他做好心理准备 - 他早晚会知道的
I haven't prepared him. He's gonna find out one way or another.
好吧 我不想这么快 就告诉你的 但他说得对
All right. I didn't want to do this so soon, but he's right.
得有人告诉你 华♥莱♥士♥的丈夫在任天堂工作
Somebody needs to tell you. Wallace's husband... works at Nintendo.
做电子游戏那家公♥司♥吗? - 是的
Where they make the video games? - Yes.
他能免费得到游戏吗?
Does he get every game for free?
是的 - 不是的 不是那回事
Yes. - He doesn't. That's not true.
是真的 他们能免费得到各种游戏
It's true. They get every game for free.
我就知道!
I knew it!
华♥莱♥士♥ 我真为你高兴
Well, Wallace, I'm really happy for you.
拜托!你满眼是嫉妒 你自己也去找一个丈夫呗
Oh please! You're seething with jealousy. Get your own husband.
斯科特·皮尔格瑞姆恢复活力
Scott Pilgrim is refreshed.
那我们为什么住在这里 老年的我?
So why do we live here, Old Me?
我还以为我们长大后 无意冒犯 就不会再跟华♥莱♥士♥同居了
I thought when we grew up, we'd, you know, no offense, stop living with Wallace?
没事 这只是暂时的啦
None taken. This is temporary.
我们只是在想出办法解决问题之前 暂时住在这里
We're just crashing here while we figure stuff out.
解决跟蕾蒙娜的问题?
Stuff with Ramona?
不是所有事都跟蕾蒙娜有关 好吗?
Not everything is about Ramona, okay?