歪小子斯科特：火力全开（2023）

不过是的 显然是跟蕾蒙娜的问题
But, yeah, obviously, stuff with Ramona.
老华♥莱♥士♥的丈夫呢?
And where's Old Wallace's husband?
他在工作
He's at work. - Is that where he is?
他是在公♥司♥吗?
是哦 感觉他在那里好几周了吧?
Yeah. I guess he's been there for a few weeks then?
你在暗示什么? - 我是说我也愿意待在那里
What are you insinuating? I mean, I'd stay there too.
小斯科特 闭嘴 你没有在帮忙
Young Scott, shut up. You're not helping.
我是正常斯科特
I'm regular Scott.
他是老斯科特
He's Old Scott.
好吧 正常斯科特 闭嘴
Fine. Regular Scott, shut up.
老斯科特 我的厨房♥里 为什么有年轻版的你?
Old Scott, why is there a younger you in my kitchen?
什么意思?这是你的主意!
What do you mean? This was your idea!
你说什么?
I'm sorry?
是啊 当我和蕾蒙娜出问题时
Yeah. When me and Ramona were having problems,
你说: “可惜我没有时光机
you said, "Too bad I don't have a time machine
能回到过去 阻止自己跟她约会”
so I can go back and stop myself from dating her in the first place."
伙计 我显然是在开玩笑
Buddy, I was obviously joking.
你现在才告诉我
Well, now you tell me.
真的吗?你是怎么弄到时光机的?
For real? How the hell did you get a time machine in the first place?
那种技术还没发明出来
That technology hasn't even been invented yet.
你们很聪明 是吧?
Hey, you guys are smart, right?
你们觉得时间旅行可行吗?
Do you think time travel is possible?
他退休了
He's retired, but...
如果机器人01脱离时空连续体
if Robot-01 was disconnected from the space-time continuum,
他将同时经历他存在的整个时间段
he would experience the entire duration of his existence simultaneously.
这意味着 至少在理论上
Which would mean... - In theory, at least.
是的 时间旅行是可以的
...sure, yeah, time travel.
小儿科 小菜一碟
Kids' stuff. Easy.
故事的结局真的就是这样吗?
Was that seriously the end of the story?
等一下
Wait a second.
你把我带到未来 让我避免跟那些前任打架
You brought me to the future so I wouldn't fight the exes?
所以我就不会跟蕾蒙娜约会了?
So I wouldn't date Ramona?
什么?不是!
What? No!
我只是想找个人 一起玩双人横向卷轴打架通关游戏
I just wanted someone to play two player side-scrolling beat-'em-ups with, dawg.
我觉得不是这样 - 是啊 好吧
I don't think that's it. - Yeah, okay. All right.
是的 我是故意 把你从蕾蒙娜身边带走的
Yeah, I took you away from Ramona on purpose.
我以前也有一颗心 就在这里
See, I used to have a heart. It was right here.
(我在这里)
现在它不见了 因为她把它撕碎了 还穿着轮滑肆意践踏
Now it's gone because she tore it out and she rollerbladed all over it.
现在已经被压扁碾碎 还都是轮滑的痕迹
Now it's all smooshed and broken and covered in rollerblade tracks.
嘿 我确定你俩能找到解决之道的
Hey, I'm sure you two can work it out.
或者你可以告诉我 你做错了什么 我可以回去做得更好
Or you can tell me what you did wrong, and I can go back and do a better job.
你立刻就认为是我搞砸了!
You immediately assume I messed up!
但我是一个好老公
But I'm a good husband.
洗碗 遛猫 做意大利面 都是我做
I do the dishes, I walk the cats, I make the spaghettis.
在我确定你不会跟蕾蒙娜·花约会前
And I won't take you back to the past until I know for a fact
我是不会送你回到过去的
that you won't date Ramona Flowers.
因为她才是讨厌鬼!
Because she is the one who's bad news!
不是我们!
Not us!
老年的我没事吧?
Is Old Me okay?
还记得你被 安薇·亚当斯甩了之后的样子吗?
Remember how you were after Envy Adams dumped you?
差不多比那次痛苦十倍
It's like that times ten.
不是吧!
Oh no.
生活真是有趣
Life's a funny thing.
我今早在蕾蒙娜的床上醒来时
I'm sure not where I expected to be
我肯定没想到自己会在这里
when I woke up this morning in Ramona's bed.
但我想也不全是坏事
But it's not all bad, I guess.
嘿 对了 我是斯科特 我是不是在摇滚餐厅见过你?
Hey, I'm Scott, by the way.
就在过去我们表演的时候
Didn't I see you at The Rockit? Back at our show in the past.
我知道 对你来说 那是很久以前的事
I know that was a while ago for you,
但你有没有碰巧拍下来了?
but did you happen to get any of that on video?
你会把一切都录下来?
You record video of everything?
全部一切吗?
Like "everything" everything?
从我离开的那一刻开始吧
Let's start with the moment I left.
电子游戏最赞了!
Video games rule!
(未来版蕾蒙娜·花 年龄: 别问)
搞什么...
What the--
住手!我们为和平而来!
Stop! We come in peace!
对不起 他一直说要见你 很烦人
Sorry about this. He kept asking to see you. Very annoying.
好了 让他烦你吧
Anyway, he's your problem now.
等等 你不能离开
Hold it. You're not going anywhere.
我听说了老年的你 在计划愚蠢的时间旅行
I heard about Old You's idiotic time travel plan.
我还以为是开玩笑呢
Sort of thought it was a joke.
说服自己不要再迷恋我了?
Convince himself to stop being obsessed with me?
他见到自己了吗? 所以我想出了一个后备计划
Has he met himself? That's why I came up with a backup plan.
几年前 你的一个蠢朋友 写了一本回忆录
A few years ago, one of your dumb friends wrote a memoir.
《斯科特、蕾蒙娜和我
"Scott and Ramona and Me."
我作为斯科特·皮尔格瑞姆 挚友的宝贵生活》
"My Precious Big Life as Scott Pilgrim's Best Pal."
作者老“小子”·尼尔
"By Old Young Neil."
我看过了 不错的爱情故事 可以多来点华♥莱♥士♥的剧情的
I read it. Decent love story. Could have used more Wallace.
“斯科特和蕾蒙娜 非常非常非常相爱”
"Scott and Ramona loved each other very, very, very, very, very much."
如果老斯科特要抹去一切
If Old Scott was gonna erase everything,
我就想让你知道我们的故事
I wanted there to be some way for you to discover our story.
所以我把它送回过去了
So I sent it back in time.
你也有时光机?
You have a time machine too?
它们是用一辆旧德罗宁车的零件做的
They're made out of parts from an old DeLorean.
当我达到时速88英里时 我就能穿越时空
When I hit 88 miles per hour, I travel through time.
我不知道换算成公里是多少
I don't know what that is in kilometers.
好吧 理论上 我明白你的计划了 但斯科特从不读书
Okay. I get the plan in theory, except Scott doesn't read books.
是啊 但我想到了
Yeah, but I thought of that.
所以我变换了一些场景 合并了一些角色
So I moved some scenes around, combined a few characters,
不知不觉中 我就编出了一个紧凑的剧本
and before I knew it, I had a tight little screenplay.
(未命名电影剧本 作者“小子”·尼尔)
所以你觉得 老年的我会让我相信 年轻的你是一个讨厌鬼
So you thought Old Me would convince this me that Young You was bad news
他会把我送回去 然后我们会分手
and he'd send me back home and we'd break up.
然后有一天 我会在当地的电影院
And then one day, I'd be at my local cineplex
看到一部关于我自己的电影的预告片
and see a preview for a movie about myself--
好了
Okay.
这个计划可能被误导了 我只是...
The plan may have been misguided. I just...
我必须尝试一下
I had to try.
我是说 他是我一生的挚爱
I mean, he's the love of my life.
那就没有被误导
Then it wasn't misguided.
斯科特 计划变成一场灾难了
Scott, the plan was a disaster.
电影失败了 事业结束了
The movie fell apart, careers ended.
我看到的故事不是那样的
That's not the story I saw.
我看到一段关于你的故事 或者说是另一个你
I saw a story about you. Or another you.
我离开以后的蕾蒙娜
The Ramona I left.
她在各处找我
She was looking for me.
寻找答案 坚持不放弃
Looking for answers, never giving up.
就像那个著名的侦探
Like that famous detective.
科伦坡? - 我本来想说皮卡丘大侦探的
Columbo? - I was gonna say Detective Pikachu.
但是没错 科伦坡大侦探
But Columbo, exactly.
你的蕾蒙娜听起来很酷
Your Ramona sounds pretty cool.
特别酷
So cool.
那我们最好确保她能得到她想要的
Well, then we better make sure she gets what she wants.
再见了 老华♥莱♥士♥ 喜欢你的新发型
Goodbye, Old Wallace. Love the new hair.
记得打电♥话♥给你丈夫
Call your husband.
我同意 看起来很性感 你应该打电♥话♥给你丈夫
I agree, looks hot. And you should call your husband.
不用指挥我
Don't tell me what to do.
不过谢谢你们 我确实很性感
But thank you. I do look hot.
宝贝 想我了吗?工作怎么样?
Hey, baby, miss me? How's work?
所以你才冒着气呢
So that's why you're steaming.
等等 未来的我在这里吗?
Wait, is Future Me here?
我本来打算把他送来就走的
I was just gonna drop him off,
但我觉得应该多逗留一会打声招呼
but figured I'd stick around long enough to say hi.
你好
Well, hi.
我得拍张照片
I gotta get a picture of this.
嘿
Hey,
这是你的 对吧?
this is yours, right?
谢谢 小刀
Thanks, Knives.
说起来 我想告诉你 我遇到了一个人
While we're talking, FYI, I met someone.
我猜出来了
So I've gathered.