波特兰迪亚（2011）

哦 Muddy Waters（现代芝加哥蓝调之父） 我应该搞一张他的专辑 对吧？
Oh, Muddy Waters. I should get a Muddy Waters album, right?
嗯 就搞张精选 没所谓的
Yeah, just get a "Best of." Doesn't matter.
但我会有点负罪感
I feel guilty, though.
-你们好呀 -Eleanor 好久不见
- Hey, guys. - Eleanor, what's up?
嘿 你们一定得来我的DJ之夜
Hey, um... you guys should totally come to my DJ Night.
我打一些 迷幻风格的碟
I'm spinning, like, all psychedelic sort of stuff.
-你知道 the Zombies the Kinks -哇 好哦
- You know, the Zombies, the Kinks. - Wow. All right.
-我不知道你还做DJ -刚刚起步...
I didn't know you DJ'd. I mean, I just started...
我们要和我妈吃晚饭 但会尽力赶过来的
We have a dinner thing with my mom, but we'll try to make it right after.
-好哦 -我们可以赶得上
- Ok, cool. - We'll make it.
-太好了 -真棒
Yeah. Cool. Awesome.
-谢谢你们 -到时见
- Thanks, guys. - See you soon.
- DJ之夜？ -是啊 Eleanor? 不清楚...
- DJ Night? - I know. Eleanor? Whatever...
好 入住手续都办好了
Ok, I'm all done with your deposit.
-还有什么能帮到你们的吗？ -没有 可以了
- Is there anything else I can help you guys with? - Nope, that's it.
如果你们今晚没有计划的话
If you guys aren't doing anything tonight...
这是我的收据吗？
Uh, is this my receipt?
不是 我今晚九点会打碟
Uh, no. I'm spinning tonight at 9:00.
做的风格有山区摇滚 乡村音乐 恐怖音乐
I play rockabilly, hillbilly, and psychobilly.
-你今晚会演出？ -打碟
- You're playing tonight? - Spinning.
-知道了 -你们如果能来的话 就太好了
- Ok. - So if you guys can come, that'd be great.
-我们会看看日程允不允许的 -答应啦？
- We'll check it out if we can. - Promise?
-我们会尽力的 -好
- We'll try to make it. - Yeah.
拜托了
Please try.
酒店允许你在这里宣传自己的活动的吗？
They let you promote your thing here?
其实 他们不知道
Yeah, they don't really know.
好 谢啦
All right, thanks.
谢谢你们 今晚见
All right. Thanks, guys. See you tonight.
看起来不错 你们有小样吗？
That looks good. Do you have any samples?
天呐 好吃
My God, yum.
无敌
That's amazing.
冒昧问一下 你们想来参加我的DJ之夜吗？
Excuse me. Did you guys want to come to my DJ Night?
-什么？ -DJ之夜
- What? - A DJ night?
-Fred, Carrie... -天呐
- Fred, Carrie... - Oh, God.
-正在当DJ -别啊
- Doing a DJ thing. - Oh, no.
-九点 -那家伙最烂了
- 9:00. - That guy's the worst.
-九点 如果你们来早一点 饮料免费 -啥？
- It's at 9:00. If you get there early, drinks are free. - Yeah. What?
我玩音乐 雷击顿 莎莎 嘻哈
I play music. You know, reggaeton, salsa, hip-hop.
我们离开这吧 跑 跑
Let's get out of here. Run, run.
真的变得好怪 怎么回事？
This is getting really weird, right? What's going on?
他正在做DJ 快走
He's DJing. Go, quick.
-走开啊 滚滚滚 -这些是传♥单♥吗？
- Get out of here. Get out. Get out of here. - Are these flyers?
DJ DJ DJ
DJ, DJ, DJ.
快快快走 啊！
Go. Go. Go. Aah!
那个家伙去哪了？开车
Where'd that guy go? Go. Go, drive.
啊！
Aah!
啊！
Aah!
嗨
Oh, hey.
-我们该怎么办？ -干掉他
- What do we do? - Take him out.
啊！
Aah!
然后我们停止尖叫 开到了这里
And then we stopped screaming, and we drove right here.
噢 亲爱的 这太糟糕了
Well, darling, that's horrible.
你们一整天都好惨
What a terrible day you had.
妈妈 我不知道怎么回事
Mom, I don't know what's going on.
-波特兰迪亚里面的每一个人都要变成DJ了 -噢 这好吓人
- Everybody in Portland's turning into a DJ. - Oh, that's terrible.
我希望你不要介意 但我们就想直接上♥床♥睡觉了
I hope you don't mind, but I think we're just going to just go to sleep.
今晚可不行 今天晚上是我的DJ之夜
You can't tonight. Tonight is my DJ night.
不——！
No-o-o-o!
天呐 我们逃出来了
Oh, my god, we made it.
Fred
Fred.
嘿 Fred 不会你也？ Fred
Hey. Fred, not you, too? Fred?
没有没有 我只是在听语♥音♥信息
No, no, no. I'm just checking my messages.
哦 哈哈哈
Oh. Ha ha ha.
-等下 你感觉到了吗？ -嗯
- Wait. Do you feel that? - Yeah.
-我们在移♥动♥吗？-发生什么了？
- Are we moving? - What is that?
我不知道
I don't know.
波特兰迪亚 第二季 第四集
那么 今天是个大日子
So, today's a pretty big day,
因为我们要聊聊幼儿园
'cause what we need to talk about is preschool.
你需要想清楚幼儿园对你意味着什么
You have to kind of plan out what-what it's gonna be to you.
在幼儿园里面表现怎么样 那会决定
What you do in preschool-- that's gonna determine
你在小学里面表现如何
what you do in elementary school.
现在 我知道 这些听起来就像是些大空话
Now, I know, you know, it sounds like a lot of talk,
我们只是说了很多
and we're just talking a lot,
但其实 我们将要向你展示我们是怎么想的
but instead, we want to show you what we're thinking.
看看妈妈和爸爸为你做了什么
So, look what mom and dad made.
我们为你做了一个很酷的学校图表 你在这
We made a pretty cool chart for you, and here you are.
顺便说一下 我们已经把你的名字注册为商标了
By the way, we've trademarked your name.
所以当你在吃牛奶燕麦 就是在你碗里的那些
So while you're eating your granola and milk, you know, in your bowl,
喝几杯咖啡 吃根香蕉的时候
have a couple coffees and a banana,
我们可以过一遍这个
um, we can kind of go through this.
首先 流星幼儿园
So, Shooting Star Preschool--
是我们的起点
this is where we start.
现在 看 看 这是一个很好的成长点
Now look-look how-- this is a good growth point,
从这里开始增长
and we're going up from here.
你学习 然后我们增长
You learn, and we're going up.
如果你在担心这个小小的回落
If you're worried about this- this slow decline right here,
这只是变声那一类事情开始发生
that's just when your voice is changing and stuff like that.
你会开始长痘
You're getting acne.
这些柱子代表着常青藤院校
Yeah, these columns represent the Ivy League university
如果我们能进这家幼儿园 最后就能去那里攻读
that will be achieved if we can get into this preschool.
Grover™ 你会想买♥♥什么
Grover, what's something that you would want to buy
如果你有很多钱的话？
if you had a lot of money?
一辆啥？法拉啥？
A what? A Ferrar what?
利 一辆法拉利
Ri. A Ferrari.
如果你不懂这些
If this isn't going to make sense to you,
-那不好意思... -这些就能让你懂了
- well, unfortunately... - This might.
我最不希望看到的就是你在外面
The last thing I want is you out there, you know,
-射些松鼠和鸟当饭吃 -是啊
- shooting squirrels and birds for dinner. - Yeah.
如果我们不把你搞进那流星私立幼儿园的话
If we don't get you into that Shooting Star private preschool,
你最后会沦落到一所公立学校里
you're going to end up at a public school.
-简直像一间工厂 -里面一群流氓
- It looks like a factory. - With a bunch of riffraff.
一走进去学校 你就会看到这一堆脏孩子
You're walking into school and you see all these dirty kids,
他们是那种 这一块地方 全是脏的
and it's like, they're gonna be all dirty, like, all around here.
他们会走到你跟前 然后说
They'll come up to you and, like,
“你想不想要跟我来吃我偷的巧克力？”
"Would you like to follow me to have some chocolate that we stole?"
哦话说回来 我们不要评判任何人 永远不要评判
And by the way, we don't want to judge anyone. Never judge.
接下来 社区大学
So, community college.
我妹妹去读了社区大学
My sister went to community college,
我们十年没讲过话
and we haven't talked in 10 years.
她蠢得一塌糊涂
And she's dumb as hell.
你知道怎么样可以看出来一个社区大学的学生吗？
You know how you can tell a community-college kid?
就是当他们在自己的车里 总是坐在些像废铁的车里
It's when they're in their car, and they're just sitting there in some garbage-y car,
他们就...
and they're just like...
-这不好笑 我们不是—— 还是... -我们还是...
- This is not fun. We don't--let's... - Let's just...
我们不要那些 我们要...
We don't want that. We want...
-你更喜欢这个图表 对吧? -是吧
- You like this chart better, right? - Yeah.
-我们也是 -这是更好的一张 我们也更喜欢
- We do, too. - This is a better one. We do, too.
然而这一切始于幼儿园
And it all starts at preschool.
我们会把你搞进那所幼儿园
So we are gonna get you into preschool,
让你上好大学
we're gonna get you into college,
再给你物质保障
we're gonna get you some money,
满足你的一切需求
and we're gonna get you whatever you want.
好让我们确定你明白了 你能重复一遍
Just so we know you got it, can you just repeat back
我们刚刚说的所有话吗?
everything we just said?
-好吧 -我们再从头来一遍
- Ok. - We'll do it again.
没事
Ok.
-幼儿园 -来吧 Grover TM
- Preschool. - Ok, Grover, TM.
哇哦 好多狗狗
Wow, a lot of dogs.
这里正好
It's the right place.
哇