幸福大家庭（2015）

100 mil and drives a Bugatti.
我赚2万美元 赶公交
I make 20 grand and take the bus.
只是生活方式的选择 真的
Just lifestyle choices, really.
我完全get不到哎 谁是勒布朗
I haven't the faintest clue who LeBron is,
但听上去他是个爱炫耀的人
but he sounds like a real show-off.
他是一个惊人的篮球运动员
He's an incredible basketball player.
好吧 对我来说 他就是篮球界的马库斯
Well, to me, he is just the Marcus of basketball.
我爱这妞儿
I love her.
抓紧她... 要不然就被别人抢了
Lock it down... or somebody else will.
回见了 宝贝
Later, baby.
听着 普鲁登斯...
Listen, Prudence...
我不想你离开
I don't want you to leave.
所以我有一个建议
So I have a proposal.
你要单膝下跪了吗?
You about to get down on one knee?
嗯 现在还不是时候
Well, this is gonna seem less good now.
我要说的是我们AA买♥♥
I was gonna say I'll go splitsies
一张新的票 然后你可以待久一点
on a new ticket so you can stay longer.
我恐怕这不可能
I'm afraid that's not possible.
我在说什么呀? 我会付三分之二的
What am I sayin'? I'll pay two-thirds.
鲁克 我需要告诉你一些事
Luke, I need to tell you something.
如果你要告诉我你其实是个男的...
If you're gonna tell me you were born a man...
我也很OK的
I am oddly okay with that.
不...其实
No... the thing is,
我是一个外国(星)人
I'm an alien.
哦 我就知道人类不会这么性感的
Oh, I knew you were too hot to be human.
不 是一个非法外国(星)人
No, like an illegal alien.
当然我也挺希望自己是所谓的外星人啦
Though I've often wished I was an "Alien" Alien,
谁不想要一张大嘴里再长出张
because who doesn't want a smaller mouth
樱桃小嘴那样酷炫的长相啊?
that comes out of their bigger mouth?
但是我只是一个来自英国的女孩
But I'm just a girl from dodgy Splitwick, England.
我迟早是要回去的 因为...
And I have to go back for good, because...
我将被驱逐出境了
I'm being deported.
哇 被逐出境?
Wow, deported?
那其实还挺屌♥的
That's kind of bad-ass.
却也伤了我的心
Also breaks my heart.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我真希望几个月前就遇见你
I wish I'd met you months ago.
好吧 也别太多个月
Well, not too many months ago,
因为那时我正在巴哈马群岛的一个海滩边工作
because I was working on the beach in the Bahamas,
给黑人 白人编小辫儿呢
giving white people black people braids.
你认为从现在开始直到你被套上手铐带走之前
What do you think about spending every moment with me
咱们每分每秒都在一起怎么样?
before you're taken away in handcuffs?
听上去有一点相生相宿的意味
Think it sounds a bit codependent.
但让我们开始吧!
Let's do it!
我想我爱你
I think I love you.
我想我可能也爱你
I might love you, too.
这到底是什么鬼颜色?
What the hell color is this?
难道不完美吗?
Isn't it perfect?
多么大胆 多么热情 多么性感...
It's bold, it's warm, it's sexy...
太闹腾(大声)了
It's too loud.
哦...
Oh...
好吧 它不完美吗?
Well, isn't it perfect?
多么大胆 多么热情 多么性感...
It's bold, it's warm, it's sexy...
我说的是这面墙的颜色 普鲁登斯
I'm talking about the paint, Prudence.
哦 好吧 我只是以为
Oh, well, I just thought
你想要的颜色...
the color you wanted...
我该怎么说呢...
how do I put this...
让我觉得太孤寂了
made me feel lonely.
就像我想用皮带把自己吊起来
Like I wanted to hang myself with a belt.
何况这还是时下的流行色呢
Whereas this adds a much-needed pop!
遥远灰才更流行好伐
Distant Grey has a lot of pop.
我同意她的
I agree with her.
谢谢你
Thank you.
不好意思? 我的意思是 我以为他说的是...
Excuse me? I mean, I think he meant...
- 我指的是普鲁登斯 - 什么?
- I meant Prudence. - Excuse me?
我知道了 利兹
I get it, Lizzy.
这不是你以为你想要的颜色
It's not the color you thought you wanted.
我感同身受 我妈妈
I felt that way when my mum
生了我第五第六个妹妹
had my fifth and sixth sister.
但我想要一个弟弟
I wanted a brother.
然而最终 我停止了
But eventually, I stopped
把我妹妹们推下楼
pushing my sisters down the stairs,
现在我爱死她们每一个了
and now I love one of them so much.
就让它这样一个星期吧
Just leave it up for a week.
到时候如果你还不上吊的话
And if you don't hang yourself,
那就这颜色吧!
there's your color!
这是我的高光墙
This is my accent wall,
轮不到你粉刷它
and you don't get to paint it
不能因为你带口音(高光墙)就能刷
just 'cause you have an accent.
这是老娘的房♥子!
This is my house!
这是我们的房♥子 而且我喜欢这颜色
It's our house, and I like it.
好吧 我还是让你们这对小婊砸先撕着了
Right, I'm gonna let you two have a spat.
这不是撕 我们没必要撕
This is not a spat, we don't have spats.
那好吧 我要去清理一下了
Right then, I'll just go get cleaned up.
别弄得太干净 我喜欢你脏脏的
Don't get too clean. I like you a little dirty.
恶心死了
Gross.
伙计 你这是怎么了啊?
Dude, what's your problem?
突然之间 我就有了一个新的室友
All of a sudden, I have a new roommate
毫无品味 想要掌管这里
with no taste taking over the place,
而且我还得去给所有家具
and I had to buy vagina coasters
买♥♥小妹妹私人坐垫去
for all the furniture.
淡定 她周一就回英国了
Calm down, she goes back to England on Monday.
谢天谢地!
Thank God!
"谢天谢地"? 这是我人生中
"Thank God"? It's been the best
最快乐的日子
few days of my life.
你俩之间到底
What is this love affair
有什么奸♥情♥啊?
you're having with this girl?
奸♥情♥? 我们是爱情啊
Um, a love affair?
哦 拜托 你俩才刚认识
Oh, please, you just met her.
你才不是爱她呢
You don't love her.
呃 不好意思 你是爱情专家吗?
Oh, I'm sorry, are you an expert on love?
你有个严肃对待的女朋友在你的房♥间里吗?
Is your very-serious girlfriend in your bedroom right now?
好了 你没必要这么恶毒
Okay, you don't have to be bitchy.
哦 那敢情可是一个小婊砸叫另一个小婊砸小婊砸啦
Well, that's the bitch calling the bitch a bitch.
那我算什么
So is that what I am now?
我一直认为我是你最好的朋友
'Cause I thought I was your best friend.
你要是不这么古板的话
Maybe if you weren't so rigid,
就也能跟别人约会了
you'd meet somebody, too.
问题是你没给别人一个机会
But you don't give people a chance.
普鲁登斯还有好多方面你都没见过
There's more to Prudence than what you've seen.
她把这些方面藏的还挺严实啊?
Where's she hiding it?
行了 玩去吧
Here you go. Enjoy.
别把麦片洒地上了
Try not to get couscous on the floor,
虽然我不介意一个人一粒一粒把他们捡起来
'cause I have to pick up every kernel individually,
但是真的很浪费时间
which I don't mind, but it's time-consuming.
利兹 你看起来需要喝杯酒啊
Lizzy, you look like you could use a glass of wine.
哦 天啊 听起来我好像一个白人妇女啊
Oh, my God, I sound like a white woman.
我不需要酒...我很好 不能再好了
I don't need wine... I'm fine, never been better.
不好意思 你这面丑陋的墙该换个颜色了
Sorry for the hideous wall color.
- 我觉得这很流行啊 - 住口
- I think it pops. - Shut up.
鲁克去哪了? 你今晚一直在煞风景
Where's Luke? Not that you're not super-fun tonight.
我不知道 我需要和他谈谈
I don't know, but I need to talk to him,
他不接我的电♥话♥
and he's not answering any of my calls.
太好了 普鲁登斯明天就回英国了
Thank God Prudence is going back to England tomorrow
带着她充气娃娃一样的身体
with her little sex doll body
还有脑洞大开的怪想法
and her effortless whimsy,
然后鲁克就能回到我身边了
and I'll finally get Luke back.
姐们 你现在活像一个妒火中烧的前妻
Sissy, you sound like a jealous ex-wife.
什么? 不 我才不是呢 我不嫉妒
What? No, I don't, I'm not jealous...
等等 为什么我是前妻?
Wait, why did you say ex-wife?
嗨 不好意思我们来晚了