幸福大家庭（2015）

She walked into this crazy situation
而且接受了一个我们要有一个和她无关的孩子的事实
and accepted the fact that we're having a kid without her.
哦 不错 你接着说啊
Oh, good, you kept going.
是医生办公室的电♥话♥ 或许是凯特
It's the doctor's office. Maybe it's Kate.
你说她还对我感兴趣吗?
You think she's still interested?
或许只是和你的血样检查有关
Maybe it's about your blood work.
- 我看起来怎么样? - 这是一个电♥话♥
- How do I look? - It's a phone call.
那我听起来怎么样?
How do I sound like I look?
他们在一起真可爱啊
Aren't they cute together?
真是一对怪小孩
Couple of little kooky kids.
你还好吧 小公主?
Everything all right, princess?
是啊 我很好啊
Yeah. Everything's fine.
想来点威士忌吗?
Do you want some whiskey?
这才上午11点
It's 11:00 A.M.
还是来点吧
But yes.
听好 我可是名社工 我知道鲁克
Look, I'm a social worker, and I know that Luke's
"其他人的家庭"言论伤到了你
"Whole other family" Comment must've bothered you.
而且 早餐饮酒也说明了这一点
Also, the morning drinking's a tell.
是啊 我很烦恼
Yes, I'm bothered.
那种身在自己家却像一个外来人的感觉很不爽
It's not ideal feeling like an outsider in your own home.
所以我一直在想一个名号♥
So I've been working on some titles
使我在整个家庭中看起来更有存在感
so I can feel like I have more of a role in all this.
你认为保姆普鲁怎么样?
How do you feel about Nanny Pru?
或者普鲁保姆
Or Pru-Nanny.
我觉着不怎么样
I don't feel good.
那你为什么不告诉他你很烦躁
But why don't you just tell him you're upset?
因为这不是英国人的作风
Because that's not the English way.
我来自一个积极向上的地方
I come from very positive stock.
我伟大的叔叔克莱夫
My Great Uncle Clive famously whistled
在梅毒侵蚀了他全身的时候还欢快地吹口哨呢
as syphilis ravaged his body.
好吧 你应该说点什么的
Well, you should say something.
你现在是在美国 抱怨是公民的权利
You're in America now. Complaining is a civil right.
这整片土地都是靠这兴起的
That's how this whole place started.
好消息 凯特问她是否能再见我一面
Great news. Kate asked if she could see me again.
我也不是要想太多啦
And I don't want to get ahead of myself here,
但是你们知道谁认识朱迪 福斯特吗
but do we know anyone who knows Jodie Foster?
哇 她还想再见你
Wow, she wants to see you again
就算经过了那次尿尿事件?
even after that whole pee thing?
听起来我们好像碰上小变♥态♥了
Sounds like we got a little freak on our hands.
凯特刚给我发短♥信♥了 她在停车
Kate just texted me. She's parking.
我太激动了
I'm so excited.
可是我们却要跟她谈
But we're gonna have to talk to her
短♥信♥和开车的事情
about her texting and driving.
先发制人进行攻击 这是我们的战略
Preemptive nagging. Now that's a strategy.
当然我很希望和她有一个一对一约会
And of course I wish I had a one-on-one date with her,
但我还是告诉她周二和周四是我们的保龄球夜
but I told her Tuesdays and Thursdays are our league nights.
所以现在我们得把这谎编下去了
So now we're all living this lie.
看到了吗? 你的生意重新开张
See? Aren't you glad your business
- 你不高兴吗? - 大事记啊
- is back open for business? - Big time.
很快就能 "蓬门今始为君开 客流如潮排一排"了
Pretty soon, there's going to be a line around the corner.
是呀
Oh, yeah.
但是车位已满哟(指怀孕不能搞)
But no parking in the rear.
什么
What?
我不知道你们在想什么
I don't know what you guys do.
你啊
You.
哦
Oh.
"你啊 哦"
"You. Oh."
我猜你还没有跟鲁克谈吧
Guessing you haven't talked to Luke yet.
不 不 刚才只是肌肉抽搐
Oh, no, no, that was just a muscle spasm.
普鲁登斯 他是你的丈夫
Prudence, he's your husband.
你不用一直保持愉快的状态
You don't always have to be all cheery.
那你认为如果我一直把我的负面情绪埋在心里
Where do you think Roy and I would be
我和罗伊的结果会怎么样?
if I kept every negative feeling inside?
跟其他人在一起 然后更快乐吗?
With other people and happier?
好吧 这倒是让我三观碎一地
Well, that kinda rocked my world.
好吧 继续说你的事
Well, let's get back to you.
如果你想拥有一个幸福的婚姻
If you want to have a good marriage,
你要学会释放自己的情绪
you're gonna have to learn to unleash.
那很有趣的 看好
It's fun. Watch.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
你给自己买♥♥了玉米片
You got yourself some nachos.
我要的热狗在哪里?
Where's the hot dog I asked you for?
- 别告诉我...- 在我的裤子里
- And don't say... - It's in my pants.
罗伊 你的行为很欠考虑而且很自私
Roy, what you did was inconsiderate and selfish,
这让我觉得我对你来说并不重要
and it makes me feel like I'm not important to you.
对不起 宝贝 我会给你买♥♥热狗的
I'm sorry, baby. I'll get you a hot dog.
谢谢
Thank you.
我其实没有要过热狗
I never even asked for a hot dog,
但是你领会精神吧
but you get the idea.
现在去找鲁克 告诉他你在想什么
Now go tell Luke how you feel.
这对你很有益 对我很有趣
It'll be good for you and fun for me.
鲁克 我想与你分享一下我的想法
Luke, I need to share some feelings with you.
你还好吗 宝贝?
Everything all right, baby?
对 一切都很好 继续吧
Yeah, everything's fine. Carry on.
- 不 她不好 - 对 我不好
- No, she's not fine. - No, I'm not fine.
我知道你一直说我很潇洒 但是我已经受不了
I know you keep saying I'm cool, but I'm sick of pretending
假装自己没有烦心事了
nothing ever bothers me.
好吧 我知道是什么了
Okay, I know what this is about,
但我是真没有内♥裤♥了 而且只穿了一次你的
but I ran out of underwear and only wore yours once.
这根本不是我想说的
That's not what I'm talking about.
那我根本没有那么做过!
Then I didn't do that!
我很高兴你在看到我那么白♥痴♥的样子后
I'm so glad you wanted to see me again after
还愿意再见我
I dorked out so hard
还是我穿着一个露背纸睡衣的情况下
while I was wearing that backless paper gown.
你穿那件也很酷炫的啦
You were kind of rocking that thing.
打住 我感觉到了
Stop. I kinda felt that.
听好 利兹 我喜欢你
Look, Lizzy, I like you.
你很聪明 你很漂亮
You're smart, and you're pretty,
而且我发现对于你目前的怀孕阶段来说
and it turns out you're perfect weight
你的体重非常完美
for this stage of pregnancy.
这是人们对我说过得
That is literally the nicest thing
最动听的话了
anyone has ever said to me.
可是我再也不能见到你了
But I can't see you anymore.
而且很抱歉要在你的保龄球夜对你说这些
And I'm sorry to do this on your league night,
只是...
it's just...
整个情况太复杂了
The whole situation is too complicated.
普鲁登斯 别这样 听我说
Prudence, stop. I'm telling you,
你误会我的意思了
you took what I said the wrong way.
你让我感觉自己不像是你的妻子
You made me feel like the other woman
倒像是个小三
instead of your wife.
我本以为我们会成为一家人的
I thought we were going to be one family,
不是像这样的两个家庭
not two separate ones.
哦 她吗?
Oh, her? Oh, she is
我只要打个电♥话♥就能把她驱逐出境了
one phone call away from deportation.
也是 我知道 咱们的情况也许挺疯狂的
And yeah, I mean, our whole situation seems crazy,
但是我们能解决的
but we'll figure it out.
我并没想要伤害你 我是个糙汉子啊
I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm a dude.
大半儿时间我都不知道自己在说什么
I don't even know what I'm saying half the time.
是吗 比如你说你爱我的时候吗?
Oh, like when you say you love me?
如果你高兴的话 那句我是认真的
If you like it, I meant it.
如果你不喜欢 就忘了吧
If you don't, just ignore it!
你好 是国土安♥全♥局♥吗?
Hello? Homeland security?
不 倒不是那个
No, it's not that.
我不能和病人约会啊
I can't date a patient.
但我就是个病人
But I'm a patient.
我知道
I know.
十分抱歉 但是莱文医生有他的规矩的
And I'm sorry, but Dr. Levine, he has rules.
他会炒了我的
I'd get fired.
不过那样咱们就能有更多时间相处了!
But then we could spend more time together!
我深爱的妻子在那儿呢
There's my wife who I love,
她是这个家重要的一部分