夜色（2016）

Well, here we go! I'm drinking wine
波姬·小丝一起喝酒
with hollywood icon Brooke Shields.
别这样说
Oh. Stop, please.
我就是个普通女孩而已 但正巧也是
I am just an ordinary girl, who happens to be
一位意大利公主的孙女
the granddaughter of an Italian princess.
我是一名猪农的孙女
I am the granddaughter of a pig farmer.
真的假的 我超爱意大利熏火腿
Shut up. I love prosciutto.
哦我的天哪 这太棒了
oh, my god. This is incredible.
你们可以进来了
You can come in here.
托德 我给你准备了四个孩子
Todd, I have four children for you.
好
All right.
- 他们有浆糊的味道 - 我觉得是
- They smell like paste. - I think, actually,
你鼻子下面有一些浆糊的原因
you got some paste under your nose.
哦
oh.
我刚在做剪贴簿来着...
I was scrapbooking...
给妈妈做的
for mother.
嗯 你们可以坐在沙发上
Mm. You can sit on this couch.
大家好啊
Hey, guys.
你们好啊 我的小吉米们
How you doing, my little Jimmies?
对于冰淇林配料来说 "小吉米"带有种族歧视的味道
"Jimmies" is a racist term for an ice cream topping.
美国就是这样的 总是带点种族主义
That's America for you. Always a little racism.
就把这个当做反面教材来看吧!
Let that be a lesson!
看 今天把你们带出学校很值吧
See, it was worth taking you out of school today.
我是你们的托德叔叔
I'm your uncle todd.
你不是我们的真叔叔
You're not our real uncle.
你只是一个缠着我们生父的
You're just a parasite who latched onto
寄生虫
our biological father.
额 还是叫我托德叔叔吧 好吧?
Eh, let's stick with uncle todd, all right?
嗯 我们简单点
Uh, and to make this simple,
就叫你吉米一号♥
I'm gonna call you Jimmy 1,
吉米二号♥ 吉米三号♥
you Jimmy 2, Jimmy 3,
和吉米四号♥
And Jimmy 4.
我们什么时候拍照片啊?
When do we take the photo?
这是一个好问题 吉米一号♥
Hey, that's a great question, Jimmy 1.
我也不知道
I don't know.
托德 嘿
Todd. Hey.
看到你跟孩子们在一起真好
It's so great to see you with kids.
是啊是啊 我总是想拥有
Yeah. Yeah, I always wanted
自己的孩子 但是...
kids of my own, but...
我太专注于自己的事业了
Too focused on my career.
是啊 平衡好二者
Yeah, it can be hard
- 很难啊 - 是啊是啊
- to balance the two. - Yeah, yeah.
你给孩子们准备了什么有趣的活动?
So what fun stuff do you have planned for them?
哦 我全都想好了
Oh, I got it all figured out.
我们就干坐这儿等
We're gonna sit here and wait.
我小的时候 我的父母让我
When I was a kid, my parents made me
跟我的宠物雪貂一起安安静静地坐在屋子里
sit quietly in a room with nothing but my pet ferret.
嗯 我总是想象
Mm. I used to imagine that
他是一个王子 我们在一起
he was a prince, and we would go on
去探险 直到有一天
adventures together, until one day
我妈妈走进屋子里看到我
my mom walked in on me dancing
跟这个死翘翘的雪貂王子在跳舞
with the lifeless body of the ferret prince.
妈妈们都这样
Moms.
我的意思是 孩子们需要活动
The point is, kids need activities.
不 我们这样也好啊
Oh. Nah, it's okay.
我们就坐在这儿等
We're just gonna sit here and wait.
如果这些小吉米发生什么事情了
If anything happened to Jimmy's little Jimmies,
哎哟 那我可就有大♥麻♥烦了
whew, I'd be in big trouble.
我就是他们今天的父亲
It's like I'm their dad for the day.
没事儿 啥事也不会发生的
Come on. Nothing's gonna happen.
会很有趣的 我们可以一起!
It'll be fun. We'll do it together!
就像... 两个爸爸?
Like... Two dads?
呃 就像一个爸爸和一个...
Well, like a dad and a...
哦 我不知道
Oh, I didn't know
你这么传统啊
you were so traditional.
好了 我们走吧!
All right, let's go!
(法语)
我来自比利时
I am from belgium.
我都不知道
I do not know
张菊菊在想什么
What Juju Chang was thinking.
- 那个口音... - 是吧?
- That accent... - Right?
太完美了
C'est parfait.
- 谢谢 - 哦 呃...
- Thank you. - Oh, er...
没了
finished.
工作时喝酒 我感觉我就是唐·德雷柏
Drinking at work. I feel like don draper.
呃... 看这个
Et... VoilÃ.
我的天哪 他们在一档早间节目里
Oh, my god, they gave you two bottles of wine
- 给你两瓶红酒? - 是啊
- at a morning show? - Yeah.
做节目的是凯西·李和霍达 她俩
It was Kathie Lee and Hoda, and those ladies
喜欢喝夏顿埃酒
like to get chardonnay'ed up.
- 嗯 - 哇
- Mm. - Wow.
你们好啊!
Hey! Knock-knock!
嗨! 凯莉·拉瑟福德!
Hi! Kelly rutherford!
波姬 我看见你要参加这个节目
Brooke, I saw you were on the show,
就想着过来打声招呼
and I just had to come say hi.
"出乎意料的苏珊" 我想说...
"Suddenly susan." I mean...
哦 凯莉·拉瑟福德
Oh, kelly rutherford.
"绯闻女孩"耶 哦!
I mean, come on. "Gossip girl"...oh!
呃 来吧 来吧...
Um, so, come on. Come on in and...
好的 好的 你好 我是凯莉
Okay, okay. Hi, kelly.
- 我是史黛西·科尔 - 当然了
- Staci cole. - Of course.
- 见到你很开心 - 见到你也很开心
- Great to see you. - Good to see you.
又一个好人
Another nice person.
- 喝一杯吧 - 不不 不喝了
- Have a drink. - Oh, no, no, that's okay.
我还得参加一个预采访
I have my pre-interview.
是的
Yes.
我听说过你一些事情
I heard that about you.
什么?
What?
听说你是一个假正经的人
That you can be a bit of a goody-goody.
哦 你知道的
Oh. Well, you know,
那是事实 呃 所以或许我就...
that's true. Um, so maybe I'll...
我就喝一杯...
I can just... I'll have one glass.
算了吧 你已经做出了选择
Forget it. You made your choice.
开玩笑啦
Just kidding.
哦我的天哪 开个玩笑
oh, my god. Just kidding.
是谁呀?
Who is it?
是戴维斯
It's davis.
门是锁的 诶
The door is locked. Ah.
- 故意锁的 - 史黛西 你可以
- Well, it's locked on purpose. - Staci, can I see you
出来一下吗? 我得跟你谈谈
Out here for a second? I need to talk to you.
隔着门交流
It's highly unprofessional
太不专业了
to communicate through a door.
不好意思 这儿有很多裸体的女人
I'm sorry. There's a lot of naked women in here.
他太不淡定了
He's so uncool.
好吧
All right. Fine.
我们遇到一个小的紧急情况
We have a small emergency.
你看到凯莉了吗? 我把她留在
Have you seen kelly? I left her in
化妆间了 她现在不在那儿
her dressing room, and she's not there anymore.
哪个凯莉?
Kelly who?
现在我不想跟你开
I am not going to engage in
讽刺的玩笑
srcastic banter right now.
凯莉从来都没有参加过
Kelly's never been through
吉米的访谈 她得准备好
a jimmy interview, and I need to get her ready.
吉米想让她熟悉一下
Jimmy wants her familiar
"亚斯狗"那部分内容
with the "Yass dog" Segment.
呃 好的 戴维斯
Well, yass, Davis, go, uh,
去膳食部门看看
try craft service.
好吧
Okay.
- 抱歉 - 太经典了
- I'm sorry. - That's classic.
- 他那人就是有点... - 太经典了!
- He's got a pole up his... - It's classic!
天哪 威士忌?
oh, my god, whiskey?