夜色（2016）

and you're worried about
还会担心食物中毒...
getting food poisoning if you eat it.
的那种汉堡
That... that kind.
好吧 问题是
Okay, well, uh, the point is,
有人就想吃十元快餐
somebody wants to order off the dollar menu.
我觉得... 你和他们在一起
I... I think your being with them will make 'em
只能让他们更加欣赏自己完美的身体
appreciate the perfection of their bodies that much more.
没错!
Exactly!
老娘要去洗香香抹润滑了
Mama's gonna go lube up.
她这个年纪 抹点润滑剂很有必要
Well, um, at her age, lubrication is essential.
既然你要用勺子
Why do you need to sanitize your hands
那为什么还要给手消毒?
if you're using a spoon?
我可不想染病 影响工作效率
I don't like to get sick. Kills productivity.
这里人太多了 病菌到处飞舞
There's a lot of people here, a lot of germs flying around.
嘿 菲尔 有何贵干?
Hey, Phil, what's up?
既然你开口问了 那我就斗胆求你了
Well, since you asked, I do need a favor.
- 说吧 - 我上司来了
- Okay. - My boss is here,
她要在工作报告中给我差评
and she's gonna write a bad report about me.
你能去跟她谈谈 把事情摆平吗?
Will you talk to her and smooth things over?
托德说她就是个架在地狱之轮上的泼妇...
Todd said she's a bitch on wheels...
真的
Literally.
我最擅长就是把事情摆平
Smoothing things over is what I do.
乐意为你效劳 菲尔
I'd be happy to, Phil.
实在太感谢你了 大卫
Oh, thank you so much, David.
以后如果有事要我帮忙 尽管来找我
And if you ever need anything, you got it.
我叫戴维斯
My name is Davis.
好的 戴维斯大哥
Okay, great, Davis.
你去搞定我上司 之后我见到你 都会叫你的真名
You talk to my boss, and I'll call you by your real name.
嘿 二位可好
Oh, hey, hey, you guys.
史黛西 你搞什么?
Staci, what's going on?
我知道你们想要什么
I know what you want,
而我愿意加入
and I'm in.
我们想要什么?
What do we want?
你懂的
You know.
我不懂那是什么意思
I don't know what that is.
这是要玩你划我猜吗?
Are we playing charades maybe?
你们不是想3P吗?
Um, don't you guys want a three-way?
- 天啊 才不是! - 绝对不是
- Oh, God, no! - No, no.
上帝啊 我已经有菲力牛排了
I mean, good Lord, I've got filet mignon here.
为什么还会想吃白城汉堡?
Why would I want White Castle?
好吧 我更喜欢把自己比作汉堡王
Well, I like to think of myself as Burger King.
不不 你只是白城家的汉堡而已
No, no, you're White Castle.
那你们为啥还一整天都对我这么好?
Well, why have you been so nice to me all day?
- 因为我们替你感到难过 - 因为你得了癌症
- Because we felt bad for you. - Because you have cancer.
- 我没得癌 - 你骗大家说自己得了癌症?
- I don't have cancer. - You lied about having cancer?
- 厚颜无♥耻♥ - 我只是刮掉了一颗痣
- Shame on you. - I just had a mole scraped off!
不过要是... 我真得了癌
But if... but if I did have cancer,
咱们是不是会有机会?
do you... do you think we might get it on?
叫车走吧 亲爱的
Call an Uber, honey.
你们上节目效果很好哦! 别忘了拿礼品袋!
You were great on the show! Don't forget your gift bag!
打扰一下
Uh, excuse me.
- 请留步 - 啥事?
- Hold on a second. - What?
我想耽误你一会儿时间 谈谈菲尔的事
I wanted to grab your ear for a second, talk about Phil.
你要跟我谈什么?
What are you gonna tell me about him?
说他是一坨屎 还是说他是一坨粪?
That he's a piece of shit or that he's a piece of crap?
这俩是同一个东西吧
That's kinda the same thing.
有话快说
Okay, get on with it.
是这样的
Here's the thing.
我知道菲尔有点异类
I know Phil is a bit quirky,
我处理《夜色》的安保工作时
and God knows I've had my problems with him
与他之间产生了不少问题
handling the security here at "Nightcap."
不过我想对你说
But let me tell you something.
我制♥作♥过好几十台节目
I've worked on literally dozens of shows,
可我从来没有 一次也没有
and I've never, not once ever,
见过比菲尔对安保工作更上心的人
met a man who cares more about security than Phil.
这简直是有史以来从人类嘴里吐出的
That is the biggest crock of shit
最大一坨屎
that anybody's ever said.
- 可是这是... - 没有可是
- No, but it's... - But nothing.
我...
I...
噢 天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, God.
你♥他♥妈♥的有病吧?
What is wrong with you?
太恶心了
That was disgusting.
- 你个恶心鬼! - 天啊 戴维斯
- You're disgusting! - Oh, my God, Davis.
这是什么鬼? 真不要脸!
What the hell is going on? Shame on you!
是她打喷嚏喷了我一脸
Uh, no, she sneezed on me.
是啊 女人会打喷嚏 那又怎样?
Yes, yes, women sneeze, okay?
我们还有投票权呢
And... and we also vote,
我们还会误解好莱坞权势夫妇
and we also misunderstood sexual cues
向我们发出的性暗示
given to us from big, powerful Hollywood couples.
好吧 你只是在借我撒气而已
Okay, I'm pretty sure this isn't about me anymore.
可我要告诉你 戴维斯
But let me tell you something, Davis.
当一个女人一屁♥股♥坐你脸上
When a woman puts her lady parts in your face,
是个人都会以为她想干那事
you're going to assume that she means business.
就算... 就算他们不是想3P
And maybe... maybe they don't wanna have a threesome, okay?
也许3P会威胁到他们的婚姻
Maybe it threatens their marriage.
但这也是他们的错
But that's them.
是他们没种 临阵怯场
They're the ones that had cold feet.
这跟我没有患上癌症无关
It has nothing to do with me not having cancer.
我性致勃勃 里润外滑
I am vibrant. I am lubricated.
我可是麦当劳巨无霸...
I am a Big Mac...
再不济 也是汉堡王的小皇堡
or at the very least, a Whopper Jr.
好吧 算我看错菲尔了
Okay, I was wrong about Phil.
原来你们俩才是真正的神经病
You two are the ones that are fucked up.
闪开
Move.
我忘了拿包
I forgot my bag.