夜色（2016）

Perhaps if we just had sex once.
- 不行 - 你说到我心坎上了
- No. - Excellent point.
谢谢啦
Thank you.
可他闻上去像个湿润的马鞍 让我内心悸动
But he smells like a throbbing wet saddle.
- 不行 - 该死的
- No. - Damn it.
你知道么?
You know what?
我现在感觉好多了 托德
I'm feeling good about this, Todd.
真高兴你愿意和马琳谈谈
I'm glad you're gonna talk to Marlene.
- 没事 - 如果你还能揍她几下
- Yeah. - I'd be even okay
我觉得更好
if you got a little physical.
哎 兄弟 我知道你怎么想的 好吗?
Oh, dude, I know what you're saying, okay?
但我没打算敲她脑袋
I'm not gonna give her any noogies
捅她耳朵 或是甩她几圈
or, uh, wet willies or swirlies
又或是给她来点新花样之类的
or birlies or any of that stuff.
啥是新花样?
What's a birly?
比如你可以抓住她的胳膊 然后扔给一头熊
It's when you take her arm and throw her into a bear.
但我不会这么做的 兄弟
But I'm not gonna do that, man.
我只是想 怎么说呢 骂几句算了 菲尔 你懂的?
I'm just gonna, like, use words, Phil, you know?
嘿 骂人骂狠了 有时可比
Hey, funny thing about words is, sometimes they hurt more
最大力的敲破脑袋更痛
than the worst noogie in the world.
你好啊 菲尔
Hello, Phil.
你好 马琳
Hello, Marlene.
额...这是托德
Uh...uh, this is Todd,
他想跟你聊聊
and he's gonna have some words with you.
聊什么?
About what?
- 你好 - 好...
- Hello. - Hi...
你好!
Hello!
这个无脑傻鸟到底会不会说话?
Is this dick for brains even able to talk?
我是托德
I'm Todd.
哇哦 说的真好
Wow, fascinating.
好有个性哦
What a personality.
给我听着 你丫个傻叉...
You listen to me, you human turd...
你以为我愿意过来
Do you think I wanna come down here
看你这张蠢脸吗?
and have to look at your stupid face?
一想起来我就一个礼拜吃不下
I won't be able to eat for a week thinking about it,
还有你那老太婆一样的大牙床和湿哒哒的嘴唇
with your giant douchey gums and your sweaty lips.
这时候你是不是该对她说点什么了
This is when you really lay into her.
是这样 他只是涂了一些唇膏而已
Well, I think he's wearing Chap Stick.
我跟你说话了吗?
Was I talking to you?
信不信我赐你一丈红 把你女性下♥体♥给打残咯?
How about I punch you so hard, your vagina bleeds?
- 哦! - 怎么 不行吗?
- Oh! - What? Yeah.
- 我又没有那啥... - 那你想来一个吗?
- I don't have a... - You want that?
你想来一拳吗? 来啊? 来啊!
You want a piece of me? What? Bring it!
我谅你也不敢
I didn't think so.
我要写一份你的评估报告
I'm gonna start writing a report on you.
五点到这儿来找我 带上纸巾
Meet me here at 5:00, and bring some tissues,
因为我有预感 到时候
cause I have a feeling when we're done,
你一定会拿出你小怨妇的样子
you're gonna be crying like the big lanky
嘤嘤哭个没完
that you are.
好吧 摇来摇去确实不错
Yeah, the rocking's nice,
但待会儿我们可能得磕点海♥洛♥因♥了
but we should probably score some heroin pretty soon.
你成功让她感到自己很特别了吗?
So did you make her feel special?
应该能吧 我也不确定
I think so, but I couldn't tell.
她就是傻站在那儿 一脸懵逼
She just stood there with this stupid look on her face.
- 亚历克 她有癌症 - 我知道
- Alec, she has cancer. - I know.
她可能常年都受着病痛的折磨 可怜的家伙
She's probably suffering from chronic pain, the poor thing.
或许我可以帮她
Maybe I can help her.
你真是个了不起的人
You are an incredible person.
我太幸运了
I am such a lucky man.
而且那么漂亮 那么聪慧...
Looks, talent...
但你却属于我
and I have you.
哦 希拉里娅 嗨
Oh, Hilaria, hi.
嗨
Hi.
- 史黛西 怎么啦? - 没事 我...
- Staci, what's up? - Well, I'll...
我 我跑错门了...你俩继续...
I'll let you guys...I...I had the wrong door.
不好意思 我先走了
I'm sorry. I'm gonna go.
不 不 来坐嘛
No, no, come on in. Come, sit.
一起聊聊
Join us.
希拉里娅和我刚刚正好说到
Hilaria and I were talking,
她有一个很好的想法
and she had a wonderful idea.
你为什么不让她帮你伸展一下呢?
Why don't you let her stretch you out a little bit?
- 是啊 - 帮我伸展?
- Yeah. - Stretch me out?
- 是的 - 别紧张
- Yeah. - Don't worry.
她有她的绝活
She knows her way around the body.
把身体交给她...
But let her...
让她好好舒缓一下你的痛楚
get in there and just open you up.
我的意思是 帮你彻底的放松
I mean, really open you up.
那会很爽的
It's gonna be great.
行 我得走了
So, now, I gotta run.
你们两个美女自己找点乐子了 好吗?
And you two gorgeous creatures have some fun, okay?
对了 宝贝 一定要尽可能的放松 再放松哦
And, baby, don't be afraid to go really, really deep.
好的 亲爱的
Si, mi amor.
哦 天哪
Oh, Jesus.
好 来吧
So come.
过来 躺下 躺在垫子上
Come, lay down. Come on the mat.
- 哦 我们这就开始了? - 是啊
- Oh, we're gonna do this now? - Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
- 哦 我的天哪 - 很好
- Oh, my goodness. - Really great.
哦 非常好
Oh, so good.
我大学毕业后就没玩过这个了
I haven't done this since camp.
我相信你会很棒的
I'm sure you're gonna be great.
- 好吧 - 主要还是你的背部
- Okay. - It all comes back.
吸气…
Inhale…
然后 呼气…
And exhale out…
- 哦 有点刺痛啊 - 非常好
- Oh, that tingles. - So good.
- 不错 来 现在平躺 - 好
- All right, now come sit back. - Okay.
整个背部贴地 非常好
All the way back. Really good.
我们现在的姿势是标准放松式
Now we're just doing Savasana,
放松肩膀 手掌朝上
so relax your shoulders, palms faceup.
做的很好
Nice work.
现在我来按你的髋部
Now I'm gonna press on to your hips.
好吧 哦 我的妈呀
Okay. Oh, my goodness.
- 非常好 - 好吧
- Really good. - Okay.
深吸一口气 来...吸...
Breathe into it. Breathe...inhale.
做的很好 呼气
Good work. Exhale.
好 吸气
Good. Inhale.
这些是迷你胡萝卜吗?
Are those baby carrots?
- 这是用来招待客人的 - 你可以吃普通胡萝卜
- They're for the guests. - You may have grown-up carrots.
潘妮 潘妮 潘妮
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny,
我有事要告诉你
I gotta talk to you.
原来亚历克·鲍德温不是想和我搞外遇
Listen, Alec Baldwin does not wanna have an affair with me.
- 他不想吗? - 不想
- He doesn't? - No.
他们是想3P
They want a threesome.
可...
But...
我跟你讲 鲍德温夫妇是想
I'm telling you, the Baldwins
三人♥大♥被同眠
wanna have a ménage à trois.
- 那恭喜你了 - 哦耶
- Congratulations. - Yes.
嘿 姑娘们 怎么了?
Hey, guys, what's up?
- 嘿 Oz - 没事
- Hey, Oz. - Nothing.
没事 只是亚历克和希拉里娅·鲍德温
Nothing, except Alec and Hilaria Baldwin
想和区区在下3P而已
wanna have a threesome avec moi.
- 一点也不奇怪 - 真的吗?
- Makes complete sense. - It does?
看她那个样 完全构不成任何威胁
Well, yeah, she's completely nonthreatening.
亚历克可是什么都有了的人
I mean, Alec has everything.
如果说他老婆是极品菲力牛排
Hilaria's like a choice cut of filet mignon,
那么你... 就只是个汉堡
and... you're like a hamburger.
神户牛肉汉堡?
A Kobe beef hamburger?
不 汉堡王卖♥♥的那种汉堡
No, the... the kind they have at... at Burger King,
可能已经在灯下加热了太久
where maybe it's been under the heat lamp too long.
面包已经又干又脆
It's gotten a little dry and brittle,
而且在吃的时候