救援高手（2013）

如果我这样做 并不冒犯吧
That's not offensive if I do it, is it?
应该不会吧 但是
I don't think so, but...
好吧 我的目标是抵♥制♥刻板印象
Okay, I mean, I'm trying to counteract stereotypes.
我最不想做的就是搞种族歧视
The last thing I want to be is--do something racist.
没错
Yeah.
我只是想确定
I just wanted to make sure that--
我只是向你展示这种口音
I'm just showing you the voice,
但我不是说我一定是对的
but I'm not, like, saying I'm necessarily right.
这只是我个人的印象
It's just my idea...
也许吧 但我不是
maybe, but I'm not--
我不想冒犯谁或做什么
Like, I don't want to offend or do anything...
没错
Yeah.
好吧 我不是很擅长这个 但是
Okay, I'm not the best at this, but--
没事
It's okay.
也许就像是
Maybe something like...
"噢 你需要我帮你泊车吗"
"Oh, would you like me to park your car?"
这是不是
Is that...
听起来像亚洲口音或者
Sound Asian or...?
听起来有点像
It sounds a little Asian.
是啊是啊 - 是的
Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.
随着Verena的加入
With Verena on board,
第二天 我们回到沙龙
the next day, we returned to the salon,
我确保她打扮得和普通员工一模一样
and I made sure to dress her to look identical to the regular staff.
当第一个顾客到来 看她泊车的时候
When the first customer arrived and saw her valet,
我知道她可能会紧张
I knew she was probably nervous,
但我希望当她做完美甲后
but my hope was that once she had finished up with her manicure,
Verena能向她展示清楚亚洲司机的真♥相♥
Verena would be able to show her once and for all the truth about Asian drivers.
你是做什么工作的
So what do you do for a living?
我在布鲁明黛百货工作
I work at Bloomingdale's.
好的 哇
Oh, okay. Wow.
现在正值舞会季 我卖♥♥了很多裙子
And this is prom season, so I'm selling lots of dresses.
当然
Oh, wow. Yeah, I bet.
有许多女孩会去舞会
Lots of girls going to prom.
是啊
Yes.
得去舞会啊
Got to go to prom.
是的
Yep.
以为他们不会开车吧
Thought they couldn't drive, huh?
是啊
Yeah.
可以看出她一直以来的偏见
Right away I could see a lifetime of prejudice
在她的脑海中瞬间瓦解
melting out of her brain.
随着越来越多的转角美甲常客看见Verena开车
And as more and more Corner Beauty Spa regulars saw Verena in action
可以看出她们不会再犹豫
I could tell they would never be hesitant
接受亚洲人当的侍者
to use a valet run by Asians again.
你的车吗
Your car?
因此 我可以自信地和Kim说
So, with that, I could now return to Kim confident that
我防止女人弄坏指甲的方法很奏效
my solution to prevent women from chipping their nails would work.
这个方法不错吧
Worked pretty well, right?
我得说 你做得不错
I have to say, you do a good job.
我敢肯定你没想到 作为一个男人
And I bet you didn't think, as a man,
我可以想出对女人而言如此有用的方法
I could've come up with something that would work so well for women.
也许你能和女性感同身受
Maybe you feel how the women feel.
而且我知道女人想要什么
And I know what women want.
是的
Yeah. I think so.
谢谢你的鼓励之词
Thank you for those words of encouragement.
嗯
Yeah.
谢谢 - 谢谢
Thank you. - Well, thank you.
非常感谢 - 不客气
Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome.
很高兴同你工作
Very nice-- happy to work with you,
祝你生意兴隆
and good luck with your business.
好的 - 再见
Okay. - Okay, bye.
再见 - 再见
Bye-bye. - Bye.
做这个节目 我得到过很多反馈
You know, making this show, I get a lot of feedback,
其中似乎有许多观众对我有误解
and one of the most common misconceptions viewers seem to have about me
认为我是个从来不笑
is that I'm a guy who never smiles
也不知道如何享乐的人
and doesn't know how to have fun.
这让我很烦恼
And that really bugs me
因为这离事实差得远了
because it couldn't be further from the truth.
生活中 我其实很有趣 很轻松
In reality, I'm actually very fun, relaxed,
而且很随和
and easy-going.
显然 我可能只是随口一说而已
Now, obviously, I could just be saying that to you,
所以 今晚我会证明自己
so tonight I'm going to prove it.
怎样证明呢
How?
我会与一个完全不认识的人共度一天
By spending the entire day with a complete stranger
在我们玩的过程中测量他的多巴胺值
and measuring his dopamine levels during our hangout,
将其和基准值比较 以此来科学地证明
comparing them against a baseline to prove scientifically
他跟我玩得很尽兴
that he did have fun hanging out with me.
首先 我登上Craigslist网
To start things off, I went on Craigslist
在"严格柏拉图式"版块中找了一圈
and searched through the listings in the "strictly platonic" section
寻找一位愿意和我共度时光的陌生人
in order to track down a stranger who'd be willing to spend time with me.
然后 我给一些寻找玩伴的发帖者发了邮件
I then sent emails to a handful of posters looking to hang out.
第二天 过滤了一堆不得体的回复之后
And the next day, after fielding a number of inappropriate responses,
我收到了一封不错的邮件 发件人为Brendan
I got a nice email from a man named Brendan,
他最近才搬到洛杉矶
who had recently relocated to Los Angeles
看起来很想要交新朋友
and seemed eager to make new friends.
我们计划那周晚些时候一起出来玩
So we made plans to hang out later that week.
但因为这是要向电视观众证明
But since this was all about proving to you at home
我的确很有趣
that I am indeed fun,
我需要获得不可辩驳的证据
I would need to get evidence that cannot be refuted.
于是我拜访了Whimsy Anderson医生
So I paid a visit to Dr. Whimsy Anderson,
一位神经递质测量专家
a specialist in neurotransmitter testing,
让她来建议如何科学地证明一个人是有趣的
to advise me on how to scientifically prove a person is fun.
当一个人玩得开心时
When someone's having fun,
他的血清素可能会增多
you might see an elevation in serotonin,
多巴胺会增多
an elevation in dopamine,
或者 血清素和多巴胺都会增多
or an elevation of both serotonin and dopamine both
所以 如果他们和我一起玩的时候
So, if their serotonin or dopamine levels go up
血清素或多巴胺值上升
when they're hanging out with me,
就意味着我是个有趣的人吗
that would mean that I'm fun?
对他们来说 是的
For them, yes.
Whimsy医生说 要得到准确的结果
Dr. Whimsy said, to get accurate results,
我得采集两份检测对象的尿液或血液样本
I'd need to obtain two samples of either urine or blood from the person
一份在我们玩之前采集 作为基准值
one before our hangout began to act as a baseline,
第二份在活动结束之后采集
and a second at the end of doing several activities together.
但如果他知道测试的内容
But knowing it would skew the results
这将会影响结果的准确度
if he was aware of what was being tested,
我必须在Brendan不知情的情况下采集他的尿液
I would have to obtain Brendan's urine without his knowledge.
于是 在他来我的办公室之前
So, prior to his arrival at my office,
我在等候区准备了很多诱人的饮料
I set up a tempting selection of beverages in the waiting area.
然后 在卫生间里
Then, in the bathroom,
我在马桶上放了个"故障中"的告示
I put an "out of order" sign on the toilet
然后在小便池的垫子下安了个塑料袋
and attached a clear plastic bag to the urinal mat,
做成蓄水袋来偷偷收集
creating a reservoir that would discreetly collect
流向下水道的液体
any liquid stream on its way down the drain.
一切准备妥当 我坐在外面的面包车里
With everything set and me positioned in a van outside,
随后 我看见Brendan到了
I watched as, moments later, Brendan arrived.
为争取更多时间
To buy as much time as possible,
我给他发了条短♥信♥说会迟到
I sent him a text, telling him I was running late
让他在客厅等
and to wait for me in the lobby.
几分钟后
After only a few minutes,
他开始选择饮料
he began browsing the selection of drinks
最终选了胡椒博士
and eventually settled on a Dr. Pepper.
半小时后
Then a half hour later,
我等待的瞬间终于来了
the moment I'd been waiting for finally came,
Bredan起身向厕所走去
as Brendan got up and headed towards the bathroom,
希望他会排出用作基准值的尿液样本
hopefully to deposit what would be our baseline urine sample.
当他上完厕所
So, once he was done,
我也该进去介绍自己了
it was time to head in to introduce myself.
你是Brendan吗 - 是的
Brendan? - Yeah.
我是Nathan - 我是Brendan 你好
Hey, Nathan. - Yeah, Brendan. How you doing?
很高兴见到你 - 很高兴见到你
Hey, nice to meet you. - Good to meet you. Yeah.