腌黄瓜先生

也许我可以帮你保管那个球
Perhaps I could take care of that ball for you.
我也有些收藏品 宝贝
I got some collextibles, too, baby.
想交易吗
Wanna trade?
这顶老棒球帽怎么样
How 'bout this antique baseball hat?
这是三角裤
That's a jockstrap!
-这有什么用 -放回去
- What's this one do? - Put that back!
-这是什么 -不许碰
- What's that? - Don't touch that!
-这是什么 -那孩子去哪了
- What's that? - Hey! Where'd that boy go?!
很高兴和你做生意
Nice doing business with ya!
可♥卡♥因♥ 快来买♥♥可♥卡♥因♥
Cocaine! Get your cocaine!
有人吗
Hello? Anyone here?
更衣室
你是吉姆·"出界"·强森
You're Jim "Fouler" Johnson!
没错 棒球史上最大的失败者
Yup... biggest failure in baseball history.
但我还要继续生活
But I'm moving on.
在你走之前 我希望你可以签...
But before you go, I wanted to get you to sign...
-我才不管 -但是我
- Whatever! - But I...
-我说了 闭嘴 -不 你没有
- I said, "Shut up!" - No, you didn't!
你给我闭嘴
So you shut up!
总之 你把这颗球打向了我
Anyway, you hit this ball right to me,
这是我经历过的最棒的事
and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
我知道这颗球很特殊 所以我觉得应该给你
And I know it's a special ball, so I thought you should have it.
这是别人对我做过的最贴心的事
That's the best thing anybody has ever...
接好
Catch!
你要去哪
Hey! Where are you going?
救命 汤米
Help! Tommy!
这里好热
I'm so hot in here.
拿下来 拿下来 拿下来
Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
好吧
Okay!
-你在这啊 -这派对很不错
- There you are! - It's a great party.
但没人喜欢我
But nobody likes me.
认识一下汉克
Meet Hank.
他砍下了他的腿 就是为了能随处藏酒
He cut off his legs so he can sneak booze wherever he wants.
真不错 我会用胸罩来藏食物
Cool! I use my bra to smuggle food.
-喝吗 -三明治 还是馅饼
- Drink? - Sandwich? Quesadilia?
你藏了不少东西
Wow, you got a lot of stuff in there.
蛤蜊浓汤
Clam chowder?
汤米 我的球没一个不出界的
Tommy, all I've ever hit was foul balls,
我觉得自己是个失败者
and I thought of myself as a failure.
但你让我明白
But you made me realize
这些界外球对别人也很有意义
these foul balls mean something to somebody.
谢谢你
Wow! Thanks!
我会打出前所未有的最完美界外球
So I'm gonna hit the best foul ball anybody's ever seen!
我相信你 出界先生
I believe in you, Mr. Fouler.
-我的球 -是我的球
- My ball! - My ball!
没关系 比赛马上要结束了
It's okay, boy. The game's almost over.
来吧
Come on!
终于到我了 什么 一杯汽水要25块
Finally. What?! $25 for a soda?!
你可以喝完汽水 用杯子装满免费番茄酱
Then you can drink the soda and fill it with free ketchup,
-再把番茄酱喝了 -弗洛伊德
- then drink the ketchup. - Floyd.
很高兴能在办公室外见到你
Well, it's, uh, nice to see you outside the office.
-老板也来了 -什么
- Boss is here, too. - Huh?
古德曼 你上亲亲镜头了
Goodman, you're on the kiss cam, okay?
-亲亲镜头 -拜托
- Kiss cam! - Oh, come on!
亲我 古德曼先生
Kiss me, Mr. Goodman.
不
Oh, no!
-不好意思 借过 -爸爸 在这
- Pardon me. Excuse me. - Over here, dad!
-怎么花了这么久 -给我
- What took you so long?! - Gimme that!
什么 我才
What? I was just...
比分还是零比零
Still tied at 0-0...
坏球数2 好球数1 出局数2
也是我妻子对我说"我爱你"的次数
also the number of times my wife has told me she loves me.
第二颗好球
And that's strike two!
冷静 外公
Stay grounded, Grandpa.
只是蒸汽让你产生了幻觉
You're just hallucinating from the steam.
这不是真的 这不是真的
It's not real. Oh-ho! It's not real!
这不是真的
It's not real!
这是真的
I-it is real! Agh!
"出界"重新站上了打击区
And Fouler back at the plate.
兄弟们 这球会出界
This one's going foul, boys.
看来他推测自己会打出界
Looks like he's predicting he'll hit this foul,
这根本没道理
which doesn't make sense.
不过体重指数也没道理可言
But neither does BMI.
接受现实吧 投手发球
Please deal with reality. And here's the pitch!
这球没有飞向界外区
That ball doesn't look like it's going foul.
这是一发本垒打
That ball is... a home run!
-不 -她快淹死了
- Oh, no! - Hey! She's drowning!
亲亲镜头
Kiss cam!
不不不
No, no, no, no!
吉姆·"出界"·强森赢得了球赛
And Jim "Fouler" Johnson winning the ballgame!
可惜 他会以谋杀犯的身份被历史铭记
Sadly, he'll go down in history as a murderer.
各位 球场出现了裸奔男
And we have a streaker, folks!
腌黄瓜先生想砍了我的头
Mr.Pickles is trying to cut my head off!
-你被捕了 -真是个又老又疯的裸男
- You're under arrest! - That is one crazy, old naked man!
那个外公肯定疯了
That Grandpa sure is crazy.
但警长的舞步还不错
But Sheriff actually got some good moves.
各位 比赛正式结束
And that's the ballgame, folks!
-谢谢你做的一切 -棒球万岁
- Well, thanks for everything. - Baseball!
你真恶心 我们走 宝贝
You're disgusting. Let's go, baby.
-好 再见 -贝弗莉
- Okay. Bye. - Beverly?
你闻着一身药味
You smell like medicine.
至少我没把车撞了
But at least I didn't dent the truck.
亲我一下 亲我一下
Gimme a kiss! Gimme a kiss!
亲 不要
Kiss?! No!
-妈妈 你没事吧 -来吧 汤米
- Mom, are you okay? - Come on, Tommy.
我们送她回店里 我是说回家里
Let's get her to the shop... I mean, home.
-腌黄瓜先生去哪了 -他找得着回家的路
- Where's Mr. Pickles? - He'll find his way home.
他总能找到
He always does.
-衣服不错 -傻♥逼♥白人和他们的比赛
- Nice costume. - Stupid white people and their games.
这是什么
Hey-a, what's this over here?
老镇新闻
印第安人买♥♥下球场
特大新闻 印第安人买♥♥下了老镇羽毛头队
Breaking news! Native Americans buy the old town featherheads.
更名为"老镇傻♥逼♥白人队"
Rename the team "old town stupid white people"!
怎么了 小狗
Ay, what up, dog?!
热狗 过来拿热狗
Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs, here!
还有花生
Wow! Peanuts, too?
这是吉姆·"出界"·强森的出界球
Hey! It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson's foul ball!
-棒球万岁 -请安静点
- Baseball! - Yes, just be quiet, please.
好孩子 腌黄瓜先生
Good boy, Mr. Pickles.