腌黄瓜先生

你们好
How.
白人开着铁牛来了
White man come with iron buffalo.
我知道这是推土机 你们不能在这修建
I know what a bulldozer is. You can't build here.
这下面是一处印第安古墓
This land is on top of an ancient Indian burial ground.
所以我们要把这里挖了
Well, that's why we're gonna dig this up,
建造公♥寓♥ 让印第安古墓
build condos, then put the ancient indian burial ground
重见天日
back on the roof.
为了补偿你们
And to make it up to you,
给你们两张棒球票 好吗
here's two tickets to a baseball game, okay?
但我们有四个人
But there are four of us.
看来你们得搞两张黄牛票了
Well, I guess you'll have to scalp some.
我看看 把按♥摩♥浴缸放在这里 然后
Let's see... put the jacuzzis right here and...
老镇建筑工事
腌黄瓜先生
Mr. Pickles!
腌黄瓜先生
第一季 第三集
我第一次去看棒球赛 也许我能接到球
Oh, boy! My first baseball game! Maybe I can catch a ball.
亲爱的 让我送你们去 然后把卡车开走
Honey, let me drop you off and take the truck.
但你每次借完我的卡车
But whenever you borrow my truck,
车上都会有新的凹痕
it comes back with a new dent.
你不用付停车费
You won't have to pay for parking.
你激动吗 腌黄瓜先生
Aren't you excited, Mr. Pickles?
腌黄瓜先生
Mr. Pickles!
你不能带那只狗去看比赛
You can't bring that dog to the game.
他一直在砍别人的头
He's been cutting people's heads off.
-我亲眼见过 -腌黄瓜先生
- I've seen him do it. - Mr. Pickles!
你把水打翻了
You're having a hard time with this water.
-早上好 古德曼一家 -早上好
- Morning, Goodmans! - Morning!
博杰金斯先生在教我
Mr. Bojenkins is teaching me
怎么跳街舞
how to crip-walk.
-真不错 -记住 膝盖 脚趾
- Sweet! - Remember, now... heel, toe,
-膝盖 脚趾 -像这样吗
- heel, toe. - Like this?
-不 -警长 腌黄瓜先生
- Nope. - Sherrif, Mr. Pickles
一直在砍别人的头
is cutting people's heads off.
还记得那次 他告诉我们腌黄瓜先生强迫他
Remember the time he told us Mr. Pickles forced him to wear
把死老鼠当尿布穿
that dead possum like a diaper?
看看那些印第安人
Whoa! Look at all the Indians!
再见 妈妈
Bye, mom!
-再见 亲爱的 -好好享受比赛
- Bye, dear. - Have fun at the game.
记住 别把车撞了
Remember, no new dents on my truck!
今天 老镇羽毛头队对阵南村蠕虫队
Today, the old town featherheads take on the southville worms!
当然 有些人说"羽毛头队"是种族歧视
'Course, some folks want the featherheads name to change,
并想让他们改名 但进展不顺
calling it racist. But they've been unsuccessful,
就像我儿子 大学辍学后去当了小丑
just like my son, who dropped out of college to become a mime.
总之 今天来了一位特殊的观众
Anyhoo, today, we've got a special guest in the crowd...
富尔顿女士 老镇最年长的人
Miss Fulton, the oldest person in old town.
她芳龄119岁 她大驾光临我们很是荣幸
She's 119 years young, and we are honored to have her here.
-吃屁吧 -看来
- You can eat my ass! - Well, it looks like
找到我们的座位了 在界外球区
these are our seats... foul-ball territory.
也许我能接到界外球
Maybe I can catch a foul ball!
我来教你怎么接球
I'll show you how to catch some balls!
借过
Excuse me.
真堵啊 好了 开吧
Traffic. Well, here we go.
天哪
Oh, my goodness!
我把你的腿压断了
I cut your legs off!
-别这么怪罪自己 -什么
- Well, don't give yourself so much credit. - Huh?
我把自己的腿砍了 这样就可以藏酒了
I had my legs cut off so I could sneak booze into places.
一条藏威士忌 一条藏汽水 喝吗
O-one for whiskey, one for soda. Drink?
-不了 谢谢 -我在开车尾野餐会
- No, thanks. - I'm having a tailgate party.
-想来吗 -我不是棒球迷
- Wanna come? - I'm not really a baseball fan.
我想我可以去待一会
Well, I guess I could go for a little while.
来吧
Come on!
-亲亲镜头 -你上亲亲镜头了 老兄
- Kiss cam! - You're on the kiss cam, buddy!
什么
The what?
-亲亲镜头 -亲我
- The kiss cam. - Kiss me!
抱歉 各位 我们不是一对
Sorry, everybody. We're not together.
去你的 混♥蛋♥
Screw you, jerk!
怎么 你恨美国吗
What, do you hate America?
真好玩
Boo! This is fun!
是啊 这样吧
Yeah, uh, you know what?
我去买♥♥点零食
Maybe I'll go grab us some snacks.
我会留在这里 接界外球
And I'll stay here and catch a foul ball.
好的 儿子 热狗
Okay, son. Hot dogs!
不 我不会让你得逞
No! I won't let you do it!
为什么 因为我们是同性恋吗
Why? Because we're gay?
什么 那只狗想把你们的头砍了
What?! That dog was gonna cut your head off.
-是假的 -你疯了吗
- Oh, it's fake. - What are you, crazy?!
花生 卖♥♥花生了 还有可♥卡♥因♥
Peanuts! Get your peanuts! And cocaine.
-花生 -吉姆·"出界"·强森站在打击区
- Peanuts! - It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson at the plate.
在他22年的职业生涯中 从未打入过界内
He's never hit a fair ball in his 22-year career.
棒球界史上的界外球记录保持者
Fouler, of course, the all-time foul-ball leader,
接近三万个界外球
closing in on 30,000 foul balls,
重新定义了"失败"一词
giving new meaning to the word "failure."
还有我失败的儿子
And another failure, my son,
出♥卖♥♥♥自己的肉体换酒
who turned to selling his body for alcohol.
-投手投球 -希望我能接到一个
- And here's the pitch! - I hope I catch one soon.
我的胳膊累坏了
My arm sure is tired.
你能行的 汤米
You can do it, Tommy.
来一点呗
Just a little bump.
曲球出界
Curving foul!
-真该死 -你瞎了吗
- Aw, darn it! - Hey! What are you, blind?
-我瞎了 -也许我能接到下个球
- I'm blind! - Maybe I'll catch the next one.
这是他的第29999个界外球
That was foul ball 29,999 for Fouler.
下一个界外球能卖♥♥给收藏家一个好价钱
The next one could fetch a hefty sum with collectors.
-高飞球 -来这边了
- High fly ball! - It's coming this way!
-让开 -球在哪 孩子
- Out of my way! - Where's the ball, boy?
球在哪 孩子
Where's the ball, boy?
-出界 -我接到了
- Foul! - I did it.
那颗球可能会值很多钱
That ball could be worth a lot of money.
那个丑小孩接到球了
That ugly kid has the ball.
-很酷 对吗 -抓住他
- Cool, huh? - Get him!
想要抓他 先得过我这关
You want him?! You go through me!
孩子 跟我走
Kid, come with me!
-你会没事的 -他去哪了
- You'll be safe! - Where did he go?!
-汤米 汤米 -有人看见我的狗了吗
- Tommy? Tommy? - Has anybody seen my dog?
我就是这么和一个小丑睡了
And that's how I ended up sleeping with a mime.
开玩笑的 喝吗
Just kidding... maybe. Drink?
不了 谢谢 这里好安静
No, thanks. It is quiet over here.
没人愿意和一个只会自己喝酒的人
Well, nobody wants to tailgate with a guy
一起开车尾派对
who's been drinking all by himself.
好吧 就一小口
Well... Maybe just a sip.
-你们在开派对吗 -能借用你们的烤架吗
- Hey! Y'all partying? - Can we use your grill?
-当然可以用 -干杯
- Well, sure you can use grill. - Bottoms up.
你好
Hi!
-亲亲镜头 -天哪
- Kiss cam! - Oh, my God.
亲我老婆 亲我老婆
Kiss my wife! Kiss my wife!
-算了 抱歉 -怎么
- Sorry... no. - What?
-她配不上你吗 -不 我只是
- She not good enough for you? - No, I just...
汤米 汤米
Tommy?! Tommy?!
员工专用
那是他的手套
That's his glove!
带我去找他 真不敢相信我居然在跟着你
Show me where he is. I can't believe I'm following you.
但这一次 也许你是在做好事
But for once, maybe you are being a good boy.
更衣室
蒸汽浴室
他在里面吗 汤米不在里面
He's in here? Tommy's not in...
腌黄瓜先生
Hey! Mr. Pickles!
控温器
不
Oh, no!
监控室
你的球很特别
That's a very special ball you have.
我要让他在球上签名
I'm gonna get it autographed.
如你所见
As you can see,
我搜集非常珍贵的收藏品
I collect very valuable collectibles.