中间人先生（2018）

再给您来一勺
There's another scoop.
这样好多了
All right, that's better.
你懂我意思吧 一勺两勺的
You get what I mean, right, about the scoops?
嗯 没问题的
Oh, yeah, totally. It's completely fine.
- 一切都好 - 嗯
-Yeah, all good. -Mm-hmm.
行了 走吧
All right, let's go.
你看什么看 找事吗 傻屌♥
You got a problem, mate?
是你想找事吧
Yeah, mate. Would you like one, would you?
那你来啊
Well, come on.
- 来啊 - 雷
-Let's go. - Ray.
- 怎么 - 不值当的
-Huh? - It's not worth it.
- 来啊 - 撒比
-Well, come on. -Eh...
我就知道你没种 娘炮
Yeah, that's what I thought. Fag.
要什么味的 姑娘们
Uh, what do you want, girls?
- 什么口味 - 你要什么
-What flavor? -Eh? What do you want?
我要咸焦糖
I want salted caramel.
- 咸焦糖 - 对
-Salted caramel? -Yeah.
我要薄荷巧克力屑的
I want mint choc chip.
- 薄荷巧克力屑的我也喜欢啊 - 对呀
-Mint choc-- that's my favorite. -Yeah.
- 要几个冰淇淋球 - 祝你愉快
-How many scoops you want? -Have a good night.
爸爸
Dad?
- 天啊 对不起 - 别打艾丽啊
-Oh. God. Oh! Sorry, it's... -Don't hit Ally!
没事的宝贝 没事的
No, darling, it's okay. It's okay. It's, um...
- 我们没事啊 就是 - 你干嘛打她啊
-We're okay. We're just... -Why were you hitting her?
- 不不不不不不 没事的 - 我不是在打她
-No, no, no, no. It's okay. -I... I wasn't hitting.
- 不是的 - 我不是 我不是 不是的 我们只是随便玩玩 亲爱的
-No... -I wasn't. I wasn't. No, we're just mucking around, love.
只是随便玩玩 就是为了好玩而已
Just-just... just mucking around, just playful.
- 啥事都没有 - 你刚才在干嘛
-And it's all right. -What were you doing?
我们刚刚在做♥爱♥
We were having sex.
噢 天呐
Oh, Jesus.
妈妈跟你谈过小鸟和蜜蜂的故事了吗 亲爱的
Um, has Mum had the birds and the bees chat with you, love?
- 什么 - 关于性的谈话
-What? -The sex talk.
- 妈妈有跟你谈过性话题了吗 - 没有
-Has Mum talked to you about sex? -No.
好吧 我们 我们 我们
Okay. Well, we... We'll... we'll...
我们之后会谈的 好吗
We'll have a talk about it, okay?
要不你先回你房♥间吧 然后我们
Why don't you just go to your room, and we'll...?
我一会就过去 好吗
I'll come in in a minute, all right?
给我们点时间
Just give us a minute.
我的个天
Ah, man. Mm.
上帝啊
Jesus Christ.
心脏病差点都出来了
Fucking heart attack.
好吧 所以
Okay. So...
当一个男人和一个女人相爱的时候
When a man and a woman love each other,
他们就会做♥爱♥
all right, they have sex.
好吗
Okay?
所以
So, um...
当他们做♥爱♥的时候
...when they have sex,
男人就会把他的阴♥茎♥
the man puts his penis...
- 你知道什么是阴♥茎♥吗 - 老爸
-You know what a penis is? -Dad.
好吧
Okay.
所以男人就会把他的阴♥茎♥
So, the man takes his penis,
然后他把它
and he puts it
放到女人的阴♥道♥里
inside the woman's vagina.
什么 为啥
What? Why?
因为 这样才能生小孩
Well, 'cause that's how you make a baby.
所以 你知道 呃
So, do you know what, um...
你知道什么是睾丸吗
do you know what testicles are?
蛋蛋吗
Balls?
蛋蛋 对的 没错 所以 在男性的睾丸里
Balls, yeah. Okay. So, in the man's balls,
有个叫做精♥子♥的东西
there's things called sperm.
- 懂吗 - 好的
-Okay? -Okay.
然后它们有点像 呃 有点像小鱼苗
And they're kind of like, um, like little fish.
- 小鱼 - 嗯 - 不
-Fish? -Mm. - No.
不 它们比较像小蝌蚪
Nah, they're more like, um, tadpoles.
你的蛋蛋里有小蝌蚪吗
You've got tadpoles in your balls?
它们只是像小蝌蚪 但是比小蝌蚪还小点
They're kind of like tadpoles, but they're smaller.
懂了吗
Okay?
所以 反正 男人和女人发生性行为的时候
So, anyway, when the man and the woman have sex, right,
精♥子♥ 也就是小蝌蚪
the sperm-- the little tadpoles--
就会从男人的阴♥茎♥里游出来
swim out of the man's penis, right,
然后跑到女人的阴♥道♥里面
and go into the woman's vagina.
然后它们就会游泳
And then they swim
游到
up into...
女人的输卵道里去
the woman's... tummy.
那里有个卵子 卵子就在那里
Mm. There's an egg. Where there's an egg there.
- 蛋 - 没错 不不不
-An egg? -Yeah. No, it's...
不是那种硬壳鸡蛋 不是像
it's not a... it's not a hard egg. It's not like...
不是像鸡蛋那种 是软软的蛋
Not like a chicken egg. It's-it's a soft egg.
然后 在那里
And there's, like,
大概有几百万个精♥子♥ 好吗
millions of these sperm, okay?
然后游的最快的精♥子♥
So, the sperm that swims the fastest
百万之中最快的那一个
out of all those millions, right,
是第一个跑到卵子旁边去的精♥子♥
is the first one that gets to the egg,
然后它们的结合就会产生宝宝了
and that's the one that makes the baby.
所以 当你还是个精♥子♥的时候 你游的最快
So, when you were a sperm, you swam the fastest.
如果我是游得最快的精♥子♥
So, if I was the fastest sperm,
为啥我现在不擅长游泳呢
how come I'm not a good swimmer now?
- 好吧 - 等等 所以
-Well... -Wait. So, hang on.
我是从你的蛋蛋里出来的吗
I came from your balls?
你有一半来源于我的蛋蛋
Half of you came from my balls.
只是一半的你是来源于我的蛋蛋
Half-half of you came from my balls,
然后另一半是来源于你妈咪的卵巢
and the other half came from your mum's tummy.
- 那也太奇怪了 - 嗯
-That's weird. -Mm.
所以你们想给我生个妹妹是吗
So, are you gonna make a sister for me?
不 我们还没这个打算
Uh, no, we're not planning to. No.
那你们为啥要做♥爱♥啊
Why are you doing sex, then?
因为 它让人愉悦
Um... 'cause it feels nice.
恶心
Gross!
也没那么糟糕 是有点恶心
- It's not that bad. - It's a bit gross.
灯光亮起
* Lights out...
你最近如何 亲爱的
How you going, love?
还不错 需要点什么吗
G'day. What can I do you for?
来几块点心 谢了 亲爱的
Just a couple of dimmies. Thanks, love.
好的
Okay.
所以 你今天过得怎么样
So, how's your day going?
挺好的 你呢
It's all right. How's yours?
噢 你懂的 一如既往
Oh, you know. Same old, same old.
- 是啊 - 无聊
-Yeah. -Boring.
给 一共6.8澳币 谢了
There you go. That's $6.80, thanks.
找零留着吧 亲爱的 好吧
Keep the change, love, all right?
谢了
Aw, thanks.
我们一起走过这一切
* Together we'll get through
我没有时间去
* I don't have the time...
我保证 亲爱的宝贝你
* I promise, baby, you
紧紧的抱住我
* Hold on to me tight
我会永远待在你身边
* I'm hanging by your side...
来了
Here we go.
斯蒂芬 你最近咋样啊 亲爱的
Hey, Steph. How are you, doll?
- 还不错 你呢 - 很好
-G'day. Not bad. You? -Good.
- 很好 - 我挺好的 亲爱的
-Good. -I'm doing good, love.
- 你想喝点什么吗 伙计 - 要的 一杯柠檬
-You want a drink, mate? -Yeah, a lemon i...
柠檬冰茶 兄弟
lemon iced tea, man.
雷
Ray?
你怎么样啊 兄弟
How are you, mate?
难以置信啊
I don't believe it.
- 雷·休史密斯 - 是啊
-Ray Shoesmith. -Yeah.
你最近怎么样 还好吗
How you been? All right?
天呐 这也太棒了吧 兄弟
Jesus. I'm real good, mate.
天呐 真是
Geez, it's good to... Oh.
- 兄弟 能见到你真的太好了 - 是啊 我也是 维尼
-Mate, it's good to see you. -Yeah. Same, Vinnie.