人生苦短（2011）

My name is Warwick Davis. I'm an actor...
我叫沃里克·戴维斯 我是个演员…
Yeah, evil toilet dwarf. '..soon to be divorced.'
没错 邪恶的马桶侏儒 '即将离婚'
You don't live here anymore. Still my house.
你不在这住了 -但这还是我的房♥子
'I'm an entrepreneur.'
'我是个企业家'
Give me five grand, just to live on.
给我五千磅 日子过不下去了
'And I've got a massive tax bill.'
'还有一大笔税款要缴'
You should do any shit job that comes along,
不管什么乱七八糟的工作上门你都该去做
or you will go to jail.
不然你就得去蹲监狱了
I am on my way to see a man who's very important to me.
我要去见一个对我很重要的人
His name is Bryan, and he's my spiritual counselor, and life coach.
他叫布莱恩 是我的精神顾问和生活导师
And he phoned me and he said,
他给我打电♥话♥说
"Warwick, with everything that's going on at the minute,
"沃里克 在你的生活中每件事都进行的不错的时候
"have you been neglecting your spiritual life?" And I said, "Yes, I have."
"你是不是忽略了你的精神生活?" 我回答 "是的"
And he said, "I knew that."
他说 "我就知道"
And he was totally right, as always.
他说得完全正确 一向如此
Oh, hello. Well, well, well, long time no see! Yeah.
哦 你好 哈哈哈 很久不见了 是啊
Brenda, two teas, please.
布兰达 两杯茶 谢谢
Hey, come on. Oi, you two.
嘿 快点进来 你们俩
Hey, Ying and Yang.
嘿 阴和阳
'Bryan is my...
'布莱恩是我的...
'what he calls psychic housekeeper.'
'他称之为 通灵大管家'
Sometimes I stand here and I feel like I'm one of the plants,
有时候我站在这里 觉得自己像是这些植物中的一员
and they're looking after me.
其他植物照顾着我
Do you know what I mean by that?
你知道我这么说什么意思吗?
'He deals with all the sort of spiritual clutter'
'他帮忙解决缠绕在我脑子里'
that accumulates inside me.
纷乱复杂的精神问题
West, east.
西还是东?
'I told him about the divorce...'
'我告诉他关于我离婚的事...'
East-Chinese food, healthy food,tai chi, oxen.
东边是中国食物 健康食品 太极 公牛
'And straight away he said I needed to go and see him...'
'然后他直截了当地说 我需要去见他... '
West. You know... McDonald's.
西边 比如… 麦当劳
'Because he needs to feng shui my soul.
'因为他需要给我的灵魂看看风水'
'And you can't argue with that.'
'对此你不能有任何异议'
I love the conservatory, it's great.
我喜欢这个温室 看起来很不错
Hang on, hang on, who's that? Hello?
等一下 谁在那? 嗨?
I think there's some...
我觉得有...
Somebody's talking. Yeah, what do you want?
有什么人在说话 是的 你想干什么?
Oh, they've come to say hello, Warwick. Hello.
哦 他们过来问好 沃里克 你好
Hello? Yeah?
你好 啊?
Do you know a John?
你认识一个叫约翰的人吗
John?
约翰?
No. No? You don't know a John?
不认识 叫约翰的都不认识?
You don't know any Johns? No. OK, right, well, that's...
连个叫约翰的人也不认识? 不认识 好吧
Everyone knows a John.
每个人都认识一个叫约翰的人
Do you know a Jonathan? Jonathan?
那你认识约乔纳森? 乔纳森?
No. You don't know any Johns at all?
不认识 叫这些名字的你都不认识?
That's mad. That's never happened before. Right. Any Js?
太不可思议了 以前从没发生过 真不认识J什么的?
Any... Anyone beginning with J? Anyone whose name starts with J? Jack?
那认识什么名字以J开头的吗? 比如说杰克?
Jack? It's a Jack. Is it Jack?
杰克? 是个叫杰克的 是吗?
Is it Joseph? Joseph? Do you know a Joseph?
约瑟夫吗? 约瑟夫? 认识叫约瑟夫的么?
Do you know anyone whose name starts with J at all?
你到底认不认识名字开头是J的人?
No? That's ridiculous. OK. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
不认识? 太荒唐了 好吧 等一下 等一下
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ah! Dave.
好 哦! 戴夫
Someone called Dave. You know a Dave? You know David?
是个叫戴夫的 认识什么叫戴夫的吗? 大卫?
Dave? You don't know anyone called David?
大卫 你不认识任何叫大卫的人
I've heard of famous people called David.
我听说过一些叫大卫的名人
Yeah, well, say yes, then. Say yes.
呃 那就回答是啊
Name a famous David. David Bowie.
说一个叫大卫的名人 大卫·鲍伊
David Bowie? Well, it's not him, is it? Cos he's not dead.
大卫·鲍伊? 呃 不是他 对吧? 他还没死呢
Name any other David. Another David.
换一个大卫 另一个叫大卫的
No, another name. Simon.
等等 是另一个名字 西蒙
Simon. Simon.
西蒙 西蒙
Stuart.
斯图尔特
Yeah... um... there was...
对… 呃… 有个…
er... There was a bloke who lived on the same street as my mum and dad.
呃… 是有个和我爸妈住一条街的家伙
He died. His name was Stuart.
他死了 叫斯图尔特
Right. How old was he again?
哦 他多大了呢?
About 60. 60. Yeah, that's him.
差不多60岁 60 对 就是他
Bang on. 60-year-old Stuart. He's looking down on you and he's saying,
60岁的斯图尔特 他低头看着你说
"Hello Warwick. Well done.
"你好沃里克 好样的
"You're doing really well,you're doing great."
"你真的很棒 棒极了"
What was Stuart's surname? Doesn't matter.
斯图尔特姓什么 这没关系
Can you ask him? I'm not going to go round asking people their surname.
你能问问他吗? 我才不会随便问别人的姓
Why not? Because it's rude.
为什么不? 因为那样很没礼貌
Can you not just accept who he is? It's definitely him.
你不相信是他么? 绝对就是他
In fact, actually, hang on. What?
事实上 实际上 等会 什么
Yeah, he's confirming it, so it's definitely him.
哦 他自己说了 所以是他没错
'Bryan's got the gift. I mean, you saw in that reading
布莱恩很有天分 我是说 你刚才看见了
'how the first name he got'
'他怎么得出那人名字的'
was an old guy I knew called Stuart. Now,
是个我认识的 叫斯图尔特的老家伙
I don't remember him very well
我不太记得他了
so he couldn't have been making it up.
所以不可能是他编的
Right, Stuart says you're worried about something. Is that true? Yeah.
对了 斯图尔特说你有些烦心事 真的吗 恩
What are you worried about? Does Stuart not know?
你烦恼什么呢? 斯图尔特不知道吗?
Oh, for...! Warwick, can you not...?
哦 上... 沃里克 你可以别…?
Sorry, Stuart. No, I'm asking him, Stuart,
对不起 斯图尔特 不 我正在问他 斯图尔特
but Warwick's being a little...
但是沃里克有点...
Can you just say what you're worried about? What is it?
你能不能直说你烦些什么? 到底什么事?
I'm worried about my tax bill.
担心我的税单
Yes, exactly. That's what Stuart thought.
对 这就对了 斯图尔特正是这么觉得的
Stuart's saying, "Don't worry about it."
斯图尔特说 "别担心"
Will I pay off my tax bills? Yeah, course you will.
我会付清我的税单吗 对 你当然会了
It's a lot of money.
数目很大
He knows that,
他知道
and he's having a laugh, and he'ssaying, "You can't take it with you."
他笑了 他说 你不能一直带着它
What, I can't take the money or the debt with me?
什么 我不能一直带着我的钱或者债务?
Oh! He's saying, "Don't worry about it, Warwick."
哦! 他说 "别担心这个 沃里克"
OK, what part of, "Don't worry about it," do you not understand?
好吧 说了让你 "别担心" 听不懂么
OK, can I just ask one more thing? Should I declare myself bankrupt?
好吧 能不能再问一件事 我要不要宣告破产?
Right, he's saying, "Who am I? Your fucking accountant?"
嗯 他说 "你当老子是谁啊? 你的会计?"
OK.
好吧
￡60, please.
60磅 付钱吧
I'm wondering whether I should explore a more formal religion.
我在想我是不是应该去投靠个更靠谱的宗教
I hear a lot of people talk about having a relationship with God.
我听很多人说过信仰上帝
'Warwick can choose any god he likes,
'沃里克可以自己选择信仰什么神明
and when he's chosen a god,'
如果他选择了上帝'
I'll look after him while he's alive and the god'll take over when he's dead.
他活着的时候我来照顾他 他死后由上帝接手
It's teamwork.
团队合作
I have worked with loads of gods in the past. You know, all the main ones, smaller ones.
我和很多神明合作过 你知道 大大小小的神仙
I've worked with gods I've never even bloody heard of.
有些神明我根本听都没听说过
Good luck to him!
祝他好运!
I will not work with the devil, OK?
我不会跟魔鬼一起工作的 知道么?
That's the line I draw. The furthest I go is a white witch.
这是我的底线 我能接受的最大限度是白人巫婆
Very happy to work with a white witch.
很高兴和一个白人巫婆一起工作
And that's not a racial term, OK?
这可不是种族主义 好么?
By white witch, I mean good witch.
我刚才说白巫婆 是指好的巫婆
I don't mean white, good, black bad, cos I love black men...
我不是说白人好 黑人坏 要知道我爱黑男人...
People! I love black people.
黑人! 我爱黑人
Goodbye, Warwick. Goodbye.
再见 沃里克 再见
Oh, Warwick, can I tell you this?
哦 沃里克 跟你说吧
I see you being very happy very soon.
我预见到你很快就会开心起来
Yeah? Yeah. Someone new is going to come into your life.
是吗? –是的 你的生活里会出现一个新朋友
Your wife's gone, she's out the picture. So you've got to get back on the saddle.
你的妻子离开了你的生活 你又得重回情场了
You deserve to be one...Oi, sailor boy, come on!
你可以成为一个… 水手 回来!
You deserv... Yes, in, don't cheek.
你值得… 对 进来 别害臊
You deserve to be one half of a whole,
你值得拥有完美的另一半
and right now you're just a little half.
而现在 你只是一小半
You will meet someone.
你会遇到某个人
Oi, I'm talking!
我在说话呢!
You will meet someone if you go out and try to meet people.
如果你努力去认识别人 你就会遇到那个人