人生苦短（2011）

Yep, one term at the University of Bolton.
没错 在博尔顿大学读过一学期
Haven't heard of that school. Did it used to be a polytechnic?
从没听说过那个学校 它原来是一所技校吗?
No, I think it used to be a launderette!
不 我想它曾经是一家自动洗衣店
No, seriously, it was a shit-hole,
不说笑了 那里简直糟透了
but I wasn't cut out for law, anyway.
但是 话说回来 反正我也不是学法律的料
Too hard!
太难了!
You know what I'd like to do?
知道我想做什么吗?
You know those big rigs you get in America?
知道你在美国见到的那些大卡车吗?
I'd like to get behind a wheel of one of them and just drive across country,
我希望能拥有一辆 驾驶着它穿越全国
and sort of imagine myself driving along, and seeing an old shack,
想象自己开着它 看到一间破旧的小屋
and driving straight through it, and wood and chickens
径直开过去 木屑和家禽
flying everywhere and people shouting, "Hey look at that guy!"
飞的到处都是 人们叫喊着 "嘿 看那家伙!"
Sorry, sorry. Can you just put your dreams on hold for now
对不起 能不能把你的梦想先放一放
and focus on this?
咱们回到这件事上来?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.
好的 可以 对不起 不好意思
Um, so what's the usual split? About half and half?
嗯 一般是怎么分的呢? 对半分?
Well, that's what we're here to negotiate.
嗯 这正是我们在这里要协商的
Yeah, gotcha, yeah. Erm, so...
好的 知道了 好的 嗯 那么...
'I'm not seeing this as a final chapter.
我觉得还没到不可挽回的局面
'I'm seeing this as a chance to listen to her complaints,
我觉得这是一个聆听她抱怨的机会
'make amends and start again.'
赔不是 然后重新来过
Depending on what the complaints are.
要看她抱怨的是什么
If it's leaving the toilet seat up, fine,
如果是怪我总不把马桶圈放下来 没问题
won't do it again.
以后再也不那么做了
If it's, "Must try harder in the bedroom,"
如果是 "在夫妻生活上多下点功夫"
forget it. I couldn't.
算了吧 我办不到
I've been working me bloody socks off, love.
我已经快把该死的袜子捅破了 亲爱的
I'll have a coronary.
冠状动脉都快出问题了
Any more effort on my part
非得让我再拼命一点
and you'll open your eyes to a dead dwarf slumped on you.
那你睁开眼就会看到一个死矮人倒在你身上
There's loads of jobs I'd like to do before accountancy.
与会计这行相比我有很多更愿意从事的工作
River police.
水警
How do you get into being river police? I'd love to do that.
怎么才能当上水警呢? 我很喜欢那工作
"Oh, what's that? Dead body."
噢 那是什么? 死尸
Get it out, it's a tramp.
把它弄上来 是个流浪汉
"Has he been murdered?"
他是被谋杀的吗?
"Looks like it. He's been raped."
看起来像 他被人强♥暴♥了
We don't know.
不知道
So Sue says you're a famous actor. Well, you tell me.
苏说你是个著名演员 你说呢
I've not heard of you. Are you famous?
我没听说过你 你很有名吗?
Yes. Sue says you've been in some films?
是的 -苏说你参演过一些影片?
Some films?
一些?
Have you heard of Star Wars and Return Of The Jedi?
你听说过《星球大战之绝地归来》吗?
Yes. Yeah.
是的 听过
The Harry Potter films, you heard of those? Yes.
哈利波特系列 听过吧? 恩
And, er, have you heard of a film called Willow?
还有 呃 《风云际会》听过没呢?
No.
没有
No? No, I've never heard of Willow.
没有? 没听过 从来听说过《风云际会》
Were you in that?
你出演了那个?
I was the star of that, yes.
当然了 我是里面的主角
No, I've never heard of Willow. Right.
没有 从来没听说过 好吧
Not many people have. It was not a success.
没多少人听说过 那部影片不成功
It was a success!
它很成功!
Not really. Return Of The Jedi was a success.
不见得 《绝地回归》是部成功的影片
I was in that. What were you in that?
里面有我 你在其中扮演什么?
I was an Ewok. So your face was covered up?
演一个伊沃克族人 那么你的脸是遮住的对吗?
Yes, it was...
是的 影片...
I don't remember seeing you in Harry Potter, either.
我也不记得在哈利波特电影里看到你
Yeah, I was Professor Flitwick.
是的 我演弗利维教授
You couldn't really see his face.
你没法完全看清他的脸
If you'd seen Willow,
要是你看过《风云际会》这部片子
my face was in that.
你就能看见我的脸了
As I said, I've not seenWillow,
正如我说的 我从来没有看过
or heard of it.
或者听说过这部电影
No. And as I said, no-one has, so don't feel too bad.
没有 如我所说 没人看过 所以不要感觉不好
Have you heard of a little show called The Office?
你听说一部叫做《办公室》的短剧吗?
Were you in that?
你在里面表演?
No, but I was in Extras, made by the same blokes.
没有 但是我演了《临时演员》 同一班底♥制♥作
Oh, I didn't see it.
噢 没看过
Didn't you? Oh, I didn't like it.
是吗? 噢 我不喜欢那部剧
It was just a sitcom
不过是一部情景喜剧
where famous people popped up as themselves.
不断有名人们露脸 在里面扮演他们自己
I must be pretty famous or they wouldn't have had me in it.
我必须得相当出名 不然他们是不会让我参加的
Yeah, it wasn't clear if you were supposed to be famous.
是的 可这不能清楚的说明你是个名人
Did they mention your name?
他们提到你的名字了吗?
You were a prop, basically you were a prop.
你是个道具 基本上就是这样
Sorry, why are we discussing my CV?
对不起 怎么讨论起我的简历来了?
Can we just get back to this?
咱们能不能回到这件事上来?
We are still trying to lobby the Government to fund
我们仍在尝试游说政♥府♥
our community outreach programme,
资助我们社团的推广计划
and some people have asked me how you can get involved.
有人问我如何才能参与其中
Well, we do need some volunteers
嗯 我们需要一些志愿者
to leaflet outside Parliament this Saturday.
这周六在议会大楼外发传♥单♥
Oh, yeah, that reminds me, actually.
噢 是的 这倒提醒了我
Never mind doing something for no money, that won't change anything.
别把义务劳动当回事 根本改变不了什么
I'm looking for a couple of volunteers, cos my lot
我正在寻找几名志愿者 因为我
have got a bit militant lately and, er,
最近有点激进
I've got a gig this Saturday, Students' Union,
这个周六我有演出 学生会的演出
￡150 cash-in-hand.
150英镑 付现金
Yeah.
是的
All it is, is you're a human bowling ball, basically.
要做的 差不多就是 扮演一个人体保龄球
You're in your pants, you're greased up,
穿着短裤 涂上油
slung along the floor by some pissed-up students.
被一堆乱七八糟的学生在地上滚来滚去
Easy money. Warrick, sorry.
这钱很容易挣 对不起 沃里克
I don't think this is the right place to recruit for that.
我觉得这里不适合你搞那种招聘
It's perfect, there's loads of dwarves here.
最适合不过了 有这么多矮人在这
What I mean is you're the Vice-Chairman.
我的意思是 你是副♥主♥席♥
You're a spokesperson for little people, yet when we're trying to get things like dwarf-tossing banned
你是我们矮人的发言人 然而当我们试着禁止
from rugby clubs and university rag weeks,
诸如在大学和橄榄球俱乐部戏弄矮人的事情时
you're the one hiring out those dwarves to be thrown.
你却在把矮人们租出去让人抛来抛去
I want people to see a little person, wonder if he's a doctor or a lawyer,
我希望人们见到矮人时 会猜想他是医生还是律师
not wonder which cannon he's going to be fired from today.
而不是他今天要被哪个大炮打上天
'The trouble with Anthony Braden is he's giving little people false hopes.'
安东尼·布雷登的问题在于 他在给这些人假希望
I've seen him say to young dwarves in there,
我曾经看到他对这里的年轻矮人说
"Oh, you can be an astronaut or a doctor."
噢 你可以成为一名宇航员或者医生
No, they can't, they're too small. Not going to be a doctor.
不能 成不了 他们太矮小了 当不了医生
Can be a proctologist, maybe.
没准能当个直肠科医生
Then he'll be on his high horse again,
那他又会用傲慢的口吻说
"No, why can they only be proctologists?"
不 为什么他们只能当直肠科医生?
Cos the only thing they can reach is the arse.
因为他们只能够得着屁♥股♥
And I'll have all these disillusioned dwarves
我要把这些从幻想中清醒过来的矮人们
crawling back to me,
召回我的身边
"Oh, don't want to spend me days doing that, I want to be in the movies."
噢 不要让我成天干那个 我想出现在电影里
Well, no, you're too late, you had your chance,
嗯 不 你来晚了 给过你机会了
now get back to those arses.
现在还是回到屁♥股♥旁边吧
Warrick, it worries me that maybe you're not
沃里克 我很担心 也许你并不是
the best spokesperson for our community and for our needs.
我们社团和我们矮人利益的最佳发言人
Maybe you're not the right person.
也许你才不合适
Maybe there's a grass roots uprising that says the old guy's lost it,
也许下面有个群众站起来说这个老家伙该下台了
let's have some new blood.
咱们加入点新鲜血液吧
Maybe I should be the Chairman.
也许我该做主席
Everyone's entitled to run for this position.
每个人都有权利坐这个位子
Let's do it, then.
那就这么做吧
I hereby declare myself running for office
我在此宣布自己参加竞选
and I second that.
而且我投自己一票
You can't second yourself.
你不能投票给自己
No?
不能?
All right, then, who seconds me? Come on.
好吧 那么 谁选我呢? 来吧
See?
看到没?
They don't know what time of day it is.
他们不知道现在是什么情况