高地沙漠（2023）

我在这个年纪开始从事 这个高大上的职业
Me at my age, starting this prestigious career?
我就像是服用美♥沙♥酮♥的玛丽泰勒摩尔
I'm like Mary Tyler Moore on methadone.
-好吧 我只是觉得这不是个… -斯图 嘿
-Yeah, I just don't see it as a-- -Stewie, hey.
你在那里做什么呢 购物吗
What are you doing over there? Shopping?
嘿 过来 跟我们坐一下
Hey, come on. Have a seat with us.
你得有执照才能当私♥家♥侦♥探♥吧
I mean, you have to have a license to be a PI, don't you?
他聘用我的时候我会当实习私♥家♥侦♥探♥
Well, I'll be more like a PI's intern when he hires me…
-好吧 -他现在还没聘我
-Yeah. -…which he hasn't yet,
但他很可能聘我的 因为他爱死我了
but that's a big "yet" 'cause the guy fucking loves me.
对 这是你的希望 佩吉 不是工资
Yeah, that's a wish, Peg, it's not a paycheck.
是 很抱歉 佩吉
Yeah, I'm sorry, Peggy.
我知道你很兴奋 但这事听起来
I know you're excited, but this just sounds like
就像你在两次戒毒期间 尝试的又一个疯狂想法
another one of those crazy things you're trying between rehabs.
对 找个正经工作怎么样 有组织结构的那种
Yeah, what about a job-job? You know, with some structure?
你表现出拯救自己的样子 那也许我们可以帮你
You show that you're helping yourself and then maybe we could help you.
我在拯救自己
I am helping myself.
我的用量减少到每天2毫克了 就没人在乎这个吗
Does anybody fucking care that I'm down to two milligrams a day?
曾经是60毫克呢 你们知道这有多难吗
I was up to 60. Do you know how fucking hard that is?
-难极了 -佩吉
-It's really fucking hard! -Peggy,
-对不起 我受够了 -嘿
-I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. -Hey.
我之前有钱的时候 我们都有钱
When I had money, we all had money.
-是贩毒的钱 -好了 法官大人 只是一点大♥麻♥而已
-From dealing drugs! -Okay, judgy, it was a little pot!
可能也有些哈希
And maybe some hash.
-是无害的 -还有可♥卡♥因♥
-It was harmless. -There was cocaine.
那是很后来的事了 我自己嗑的 没有卖♥♥
Well, that was much later. And I did it, I didn't sell it.
了不起
Wow!
-好了 冷静点 -恭喜了
-Okay, calm down! -Congratulations.
我给大家做点浓咖啡吧
Why don't I make us some espresso?
好
Great.
要不要个袋子来装我的小摆设
You want a bag for all my knickknacks?
别回答她
Don't answer her.
别理她
Just don't.
看那东西 那台咖啡机简直太荒唐了
I mean, look at that thing. That coffee machine is ridiculous.
我都没有那样的
I don't even have one like that.
你可以把它卖♥♥掉
You know, you could sell that thing
-下个月的房♥贷就有着落了 -斯图 拜托
-and pay for the mortgage next month! -Oh, Stewie, come on!
妈妈不在了
Mommy's gone!
我们就要像现在这样吗
Is this what we're gonna be like now?
佩吉 我们就是这样
It's how we are, Peggy.
一直没变
That hasn't changed.
丹尼进去之后 你的人生一团糟
Ever since Denny, your life's been a dumpster fire.
（易燃）
（勿动 毒药）
你好 老师
Hello, sensei.
（塔米 视频信息 查看 关闭）
不好意思 你好
Excuse me. Hello.
我的戒指不是月长石的 因为…
But my ring is not moonstone, because…
（精品珠宝）
2克拉 非常感谢
Two carats! Thank you very much.
那边…
And there…
就是我的宝贝
is my sweet baby.
他不需要给我买♥♥月长石 因为你可以看到
He doesn't need to buy moonstones because, as you can see,
他有真皮沙发什么的
he's got leather couches and such.
整个地方就像地中海俱乐部 我知道你很羡慕
This whole place is like Club Med, so I know you're jelly,
但也许你也能找个伴
but maybe you can find yourself somebody too.
宝贝
Baby?
要我看什么 隔着裂缝我看不清
What am I looking at? I can't see under the cracks.
《鸽子与豌豆》
Le Pigeon aux Petits Pois.
毕加索作品
It's a Picasso.
西班牙语 我觉得你发音不对
"Le" what? I don't think you're saying it right.
我在试图给你拉生意
I'm trying to bring you business.
拜托 有什么问题
Come on. What's the problem?
这幅画的赏金是一百万美元
That fucking thing has a million dollar reward.
已经丢失大概十年了
It's been missing for, like, ten years.
拜托 可能是赝品 那就不叫生意了
Come on. It's probably a fake. And that's not business.
你的生意就是卖♥♥地下室里那些椰菜娃娃
Your version of business is selling Cabbage Patch dolls out of your basement.
这只是临时情况
It's a temporary situation.
听着 你需要我 我也需要这份工作
Look. You need me and I need this job.
-你有前科吗 -当然没有
-You have a record? -No, of course not.
但他们会花多大力气来查这种事
But how far back would they go to look for that kind of thing?
别担心 我没前科
No. Don't worry. I'm clean.
好吧 是这样 我没准备好 对不起
All right. You know what? I'm not equipped. I'm sorry.
这位帅哥是谁
Who's this beauty?
见鬼
Fuck me.
你好 吉斯利先生
Hello! Mr. Geasley.
我叫佩吉纽曼 布鲁斯哈维的员工
I'm Peggy Newman, I work for Bruce Harvey.
他现在连白天都找妓♥女♥了
He's bringing hookers in the daytime now?
为了这句话 我可以把你告上性骚扰民事法庭
And that just got you a sexual harassment case in a civil court.
我刚才在用裤子口袋里的手♥机♥录音
I was recording that on my phone. In my pants.
听着 我看过了账本
Look I went over our books.
我们可能少交了一 两个月的房♥租
We're a month, maybe two, behind on the rent.
没什么大不了的
Which, big deal.
新会计 收入 支出 生意就是这样
New bookkeeper. Money in, money out. It's business.
我们会尽快补上房♥租的
We'll get it to you as soon as possible.
你们必须今天就交 否则我就申请驱逐令
You'll get it to me today, or I'll start eviction.
好吧 我本不想表明意图的
Okay, I didn't wanna tip my hand,
但布鲁斯之所以这么忙 是因为他把大量时间
but the reason that Bruce is so busy is all the hours he's putting in
用在调查针对你的劳工补偿案上
on this workman's comp case against you.
比如你看这个 台阶松动 这可不合规
Like, look at this! Wobbly step, this is not to code.
-不是我的责任 -就是你的
-I can't be held responsible-- -You're responsible.
-是你的责任 -可是…
-Yes, you are responsible! -But--
-没有可是 可是什么 -拜托
-No buts. What buts? -Come on now.
他现在走路得用拐杖 你以为我为什么在这里
He's walking with a cane now. Why do you think I'm here?
-听着 -不 你给我听着 混♥蛋♥
-Listen-- -No, you listen, shit stain.
他现在羞于见人 他的自尊心受损了
He's ashamed for anyone to see him. It's his manhood.
我们只是在决定要告你赔偿多少
We're just deciding how much to sue you for.
这完全取决于医生看了X光片后怎么说
And it all depends on what the doctors say when they see the X-rays.
我们会跟你联♥系♥的 混球 明白了吗
So, we will be in touch. You get my drift, fuckey?
别这么叫我
Don't call me that.
嗨 你好
Hey. Hello.
“弗兰克204” 是我 我是弗兰克
"Frank, 204." That's me. I'm Frank.
-收到了 谢谢 -好 祝你愉快
-Got it. Thank you. -Okay. Have a good one.
你很会应付混♥蛋♥
You're like the asshole whisperer.
现在我在这里工作了
So, I work here now.
有钱付我工资吗
You have any money to pay me?
没有 但你可以当实习生
No, but you can intern.
所以我是没有报酬的同事
So, an unpaid associate.
听着 我不想拿10美元的时薪
Look, I'm not looking for ten bucks an hour.
我要提成
I want a percentage.
什么提成
Of what?
你只是主要帮忙打理易贝的生意
You're mostly just helping with the eBay business.
老天 不行 我们要让你重出江湖
God, no! We're getting you back in the game,
我带来的生意中 你要给我50%提成
and you're gonna give me 50% of all the business I bring in.
-你疯了吗 -45%
-Are you out of your mind? -Forty-five.
-不行 -好吧 30% 只能这么低了
-No! -All right, 30. It's as low as I can go.
10%
Ten.
-好吧 -而且你得上私♥家♥侦♥探♥课
-Fine. -And you've got to get into PI class
努力考取执照 如果你想当私♥家♥侦♥探♥的话
and work your way towards a license if you wanna be a PI.
拜托 学校最荒谬了
Oh, come on. School's a racket.
只会骗钱 什么都不教 说实话 也没有真正的性教育
They spit you out financially illiterate, and honestly, with no real sex education.
我在家学到的更多
I learned more at home.
来 你看起来饿了 吃吧
Go on. You look hungry, eat.
这是哪买♥♥的
Where'd you get this?
附近 店家那边还有更多种
Close by. And there's more where that came from.
星期一早上9点来上班
Be here Monday morning at 9:00 a.m.
我11点前不会起床
I don't get up before 11:00.
-9点 -好吧 行
-9:00. -Okay, fine.
你赢了 10点
You win. 10:00.
嗨 我是你的大姐
Hey! It's your big sister.
我终于有好消息了
Finally calling with some good news.
我得到那份工作了
I got the job.
真的
It actually happened.