高地沙漠（2023）

怎么哼哼唧唧的 你就像猿猴可可 但没它聪明
What's with all the grunting? You're like Koko the ape but not as smart.
这猴子死的时候 我简直伤心欲绝
It nearly fucking killed me when that monkey died.
-谁 -可可
- Who? - Koko.
它是个猿猴 最好的朋友是一只小猫
She was an ape, and her best friend was a kitten.
而且它会用手语说“小猫”
And she could spell "kitten."
听起来像个天才
Sounds like a genius.
好吧 嘿 怎么回事
Okay, hey. So, what's going on?
亲 你能去别的地方 录制新的烟熏妆教程吗
Hon, can you go make your new smoky eye tutorial someplace else?
-干我 水手 -干我 水手
- Fuck me, sailor! - Fuck me, sailor. Fuck me, sailor.
记得点赞 关注
Well, make sure you like and subscribe.
这不算我的午餐休息
This is not my lunch break.
而且这里的墙很薄
Also, these walls are very thin.
-我会听的 -你走吧
- I'm gonna listen. - Just go.
干我 水手
Fuck me, sailor.
我就跟你直说了
I'm gonna give it to you straight.
你悬赏寻找妹妹 我找到她了
You put out a reward for your sister, and I found her.
但是...她死了
But... she's dead.
请节哀
So, my condolences.
这是她的指甲
This is her nail.
所以第一 你说我妹妹死了
So, one, you're telling me that my sister's dead.
第二 你说没有书
And two, you're telling me there's no book.
我还是要写书的
I'm still doing the book.
我只是需要确保你实话实说
I just need to make sure that you're on the up-and-up.
你到底从哪里弄到这指甲的
Where the fuck did you get this nail?
她死了
She's dead.
-该死 -你欠我一千块
- Shit. - You owe me a grand.
那可是我们的妹妹...
That's our sister. Our sister!
那是她的指甲
That's her nail.
她在哪
Where is she?
给我赏金后我就告诉你们
I'll tell you when you give me the reward.
行 好吧
Yeah, okay.
带我们去看尸体 如果是真的
You take us to the body, if this is true,
我就给你七万
and then I'll give you the 70K.
你知道在和谁打交道吧
You know who you're dealing with, right?
当然 所以我没有报♥警♥
Of course. That's why I didn't go to the cops.
你觉得我们会拱手送你七万
Think we're just gonna hand you 70K?
蒂娜美甲跟我们说 你在和那个吃素的怪胎上♥床♥
Tina Nail told us you're fucking that fruity fucking vegan.
她不姓“美甲” 那只是块该死的招牌
Her last name's not "Nail." It's just a fucking sign.
“蒂娜美甲和时装”
"Tina Nail & Fashion."
是 我确实接近了鲍勃 因为这是策略
Okay, I got close to Bob, yes. Because strategy.
我靠调研找到的多纳 要讨论一下七万块的事吗
My research helped me find Dona. Should I just leave 70K on the table?
等书出版了 你就能把这笔钱赚回来
You'll make it back when the book comes out.
好...我们这里没那么多钱
Yeah, yeah. Well, we don't have it here.
你偷了画 应该欠我们钱才对吧
And don't you owe us for the painting you stole?
什么画
What painting?
女洗手间里那幅画 该死的雾中桥
The one in the little girls' room. Foggy fucking bridge.
我看到了 那幅画真漂亮
I saw that. That was a beautiful piece.
但我没偷 我怎么偷那么大的东西
But I didn't steal it. How would I steal something like that?
你们看到我走出去了 我把画藏在裤裆里了吗
I mean, you saw me walk out of here. Where would I put it, in my pants?
-我是不会给你七万的 西尔维娅 -干我 水手
- I'm not just gonna hand you 70k, Sylvia. - Fuck me, sailor.
给我一部分定金 好让我知道你会支付赏金
Give me something so I know that you're good for it.
剩下的你们可以明天在公共场所交付
Then you can deliver the rest tomorrow in a public place,
比如先锋镇
like Pioneertown.
晚7点整 到遮盖起来的马车来找我
7:00 p.m. sharp. Meet me at the covered wagon.
-我现在要五千就好 -我大概有600块
- I'll take 5k now. - I got maybe 600.
可以
I'll take it.
但你得给我点等价的东西
But you gotta give me something in kind.
干我 水手
Fuck me, sailor.
好耶 奶♥子♥摇起来
Oh, yeah. Swing those tits.
小天使来啦
There's my little angel.
好了 小家伙 没有变♥态♥了
It's okay, kid. No more pervs.
好爽 干我 老爸
Oh, yeah. Fuck me, Daddy.
那只鸟听到 看到太多东西了 它需要休息一下
That bird has heard and seen too much. He needs some downtime.
千万莫提多纳的事
And ixnay on anything about Onaday.
它有恋母情节
He's got some Oedipal trauma.
可怜的小家伙
Poor little man.
而且 它从那时候起就没晒过太阳了
Plus, he hasn't had any real light since you-know-when.
一直被关在一个黑暗 充满真菌的 性♥爱♥房♥间里
He's been a hostage in a dark and fungal sex room.
对 很好
Oh, yeah. That's good.
这可能是它羽毛全毁的原因
That's probably what fucked up all his feathers.
不 我觉得是心理创伤造成的
No, I think it's the trauma.
嘿 斯图尔特和黛安要来布鲁斯侦探所
Hey, Stewart and Dianne are coming by Bruce's.
他们会大吃一惊
They're in for a rude awakening.
他们的姐姐即将成为重要人物
Their big sister is about to become a legit VIP.
厉害
Fucking A.
来吧
Come on.
来 说再见
Come on, say bye!
干我 老爸...
Fuck me, Daddy. Fuck me, Daddy.
天啊 真好啊 她是租的吗
Wow, nice! What, is she leasing this?
省省吧 她很努力了
Now, don't start. She's trying.
-嗨 -嗨
- Hi! - Hey.
嗨
Hey.
等等 别动
Wait, don't move.
我要记住这个画面
I'm taking a picture with my brain.
天啊 我太喜欢了
Oh, my God. I love it!
这是送你摆在桌子上的 干了浇水即可
This is for your desk. Just water it when it's dry.
我喜欢 我要给它起名叫“帕姆”
I love it. I'm gonna call it "Pam."
宝贝们
My babies.
我忍♥不住爱你们 老天啊 帮帮我
I can't help loving you, God help me.
给 这是房♥贷的首♥付♥
Hey, here is a down payment on the mortgage.
现在可以把房♥子放在我名下了 我要买♥♥下来
You can put it in my name now. I'm buying you out.
只是先别兑现支票 等到星期一或星期四 因为节假日
Just don't cash the check till Monday or maybe Thursday, because of the holiday.
节日是星期一 怎么会影响下周四
The holiday's on Monday, so how would that affect next Thursday?
会的 相信我
It does. Believe me.
来吧 嘿
Here, hey.
欢迎来到布鲁斯哈维及合伙人侦探所 小心台阶 我就是合伙人
Welcome to Bruce Harvey and Associates. Watch your step. And I'm the associate.
而且我破了一个悬案 这可是业内闻所未闻的
Plus, I solved a cold case, which is unheard of in this business.
我完全可以当警♥察♥的 但警界的文化令人作呕
You know, I could've been a cop, easy. But the culture's just so gross,
我可没时间一个人去整顿警风
and I don't have time to fix it all single-handedly.
对 而且他们对犯人还有些暴躁
Right. And they're a little touchy about felonies too.
这位是威廉 他是我们的帮手 像我一样 他也是凤♥凰♥
This is William. He's our Guy Friday. He's also a phoenix, like me.
里面为什么播放莉莉丝音乐节的歌♥
What's up with the Lilith Fair in there?
他老婆出轨了 对象是个女的
His wife is cheating on him with a chick.
他有老婆
He has a wife?
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
-天啊 -枪
- Jesus! - Gun!
天啊
Oh, my God!
布鲁斯 搞什么
Bruce! What the fuck?
布鲁斯 自杀哪有朝自己脑袋开四枪的
Bruce! You can't shoot yourself four times in the head.
我知道你没死
I know you're not dead!
见鬼 我进来了
For fuck's sake, I'm coming in!
没事 他只是伤心 我很快回来 哪也别去
It's fine. He's just upset. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere.
-天啊 -快走...
- My God! - Go. Go, go, go.
-天啊 怎么回事 -把枪放下
- God, what is happening? - Put it down.
你到底在干什么
What the fuck are you doing?
-天啊 -把那个杀人机器放下
- Oh, my God. - Put that kill machine down.
你疯了
Are you out of your fucking mind?
-再来一辆 -给我放下
- One more. - Put that shit down!
白♥痴♥ 给我...
Fucking idiot. Hey. Give me...
你知道自己刚干了什么吗
Do you know what you just did?
破坏了私有财物
Destroyed private property.
你破坏了这个本该是我一生的救赎时刻
You destroyed what should've been the redeeming moment of my entire life.
我弟弟 妹妹在外面
My brother and sister are out there.
你知道我费了多大力气
Do you have any idea what I had to go through
才赚得他们的尊敬吗
to parlay their respect?
天啊
Oh, my God!
我不知道你还有弟弟 妹妹
I didn't know you had siblings.
-我不知道你有老婆 -那你觉得这是什么
- I didn't know you had a wife! - Well, what the hell do you think this is?
对不起 我无意使用暴♥力♥的
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be violent.
拿着帕姆 它会让你脚踏实地
Hold Pam. She'll ground you.