乔治和曼迪的头婚生活（2024）

行了 我们赶紧去弄干净吧
All right, let's go clean you off.
抱歉某人又邋遢又爱闹
Sorry someone's a grouchy mess.
没事 小乔治和他爸当时也一个德性
Oh, that's okay, it's like their father's still here.
高中生活咋样？
So, how's school?
我们能说点别的吗？
Can we please talk about anything else?
有喜欢的男孩子吗？
Any boys on the horizon?
你这个问题可以问她
Maybe you should ask her.
她是什么意思？
What's that mean?
没啥意思
Nothing.
得了老妈
Oh, Mom,
你每撒一次谎 一个天使就会陨落
you know every time you lie, an angel dies.
说吧
Tell me.
我妈想撮合我
My mother is trying to set me up
和她保龄球联赛里的一个鳏夫
with a widower from her bowling league.
你可真会藏事情
Way to bury the lede.
我可不会去和他见面的
I am not doing it.
为啥？这对你是好事啊
Why? It'd be so good for you
你可以周五晚上去约会
to get out of the house on a Friday night,
建议你考虑6点到10点
maybe between 6:00 and 10:00.
哼
Hmm.
说不定你会很开心呢
It might be fun.
什么事会开心？
What might be fun?
康妮要把你妈介绍给一个男人
Connie is trying to set up your mom with a guy.
啥？
What?
老爸才刚去世没多久
Dad just died.
都一年多了
Over a year ago.
那还是太早了 她没准备好
Well, it's too soon, she's not ready.
我准没准备好由我说了算
Please don't tell me when I'm ready.
不管你有没有准备好 我已经准备好了
I'm ready for you to be ready.
我们能说点别的吗？
Can we please talk about anything else?
看吧 你这话让她不舒服了
See, you're making her uncomfortable.
她不舒服可以自己说出来啊
She can say when she's uncomfortable.
我确实感到不舒服
I'm uncomfortable.
她余下的人生值得好好过 -我同意
She deserves to have a life. -Agreed.
干点别的生活也很精彩啊
Well, so go have a life.
她可以读读书 养只猫
Read a book, get a cat,
petting zoo: 可以让人近距离接触和抚摸小动物的动物园
养只猴子 在家搞个小型动物园
get a monkey, open a petting zoo.
她可能需要的是男人的陪伴
Maybe she would like some male companionship.
有上帝呢 她不需要别的男人陪她
She's got Jesus, her dance card's full.
第二季 第三集
乔治和曼迪的
头婚生活

真不敢相信你说的话
I can't believe you.
咋了？
What?
她可以去约会
I'm okay if she dates,
就是要等一段时间
you know, after enough time.
那是多久呢？
Well, what's enough time?
The rule of thumb: 拇指规则
是一种基于经验的简易原则 适用于多领域但精确度有限
一般来说婚姻持续多久 就要等其一半的时间
I think the rule of thumb is half the length of the marriage.
一般来说[拇指规则]？
The rule of thumb?
随便它用哪根手指命名 这都是经验之谈
Hey, pick whatever finger you want, it's the rule.
所以你要是死了 我就得等一年？
So if you died, I'd have to wait, what, one year?
不止 你肯定伤心的要死
Oh, way longer. You'll be devastated.
说得好像你会等这么长时间一样
Yeah, like you'd wait that long.
我会等更久的
Longer.
遇见了你 我对别的女人就没兴趣了
You've ruined me for all other women.
你真讨厌
Oh, shut up.
我没说笑
I'm serious.
你们熟♥女♥在某些方面真是好老师
You older gals are great teachers.
你别说了啊
Okay, now you really need to shut up.
我就是觉得她应该去追求快乐
I just think she deserves to be happy.
她已经够快乐了
She's plenty happy.
你们俩怎么了？
What's going on?
如果麦卡利斯特先生去世了
If Mr. McAllister died,
你会马上和别人约会吗？
would you start dating someone?
我不确定
I don't know,
如果那男的长得像汤姆·塞立克[美国演员] 也许会
maybe if he looked like Tom Selleck.
她可喜欢这种类型了
She's got a type.
你觉得你长得像汤姆·塞立克？
You think you look like Tom Selleck?
我们都有小胡子
We both have a mustache.
行吧 我妈可以去和汤姆·塞立克约会
Fine, my mom can date Tom Selleck.
他说得好像真的一样
Like his mother could get Tom Selleck.
我要去萨拉家了
I'm going to Sarah's.
我想着我们俩可以一起干点啥呢
Well, I thought maybe we'd do something together.
你怎么会这么想？
Why?
因为我喜欢和你一起玩啊
Because I enjoy spending time with you.
为啥？
Why?
和我出去玩不至于生不如死吧
It wouldn't kill you to hang out with your mother.
那可不一定哦
We don't know that.
算了算了
Never mind.
你一个人孤单的话 为啥不打给外婆给你介绍的那人呢？
If you're lonely, why not call Meemaw's guy?
我不想打给他
I don't want to call Meemaw's guy.
那你就准备孤独终老吗？
So, what, you're just gonna grow old and die alone?
加州理工大学迟早会把谢尔顿送回来的
I'm sure California will send Sheldon back at some point.
我只是想告诉你 如果你打算再开始一段感情
I just want you to know that if you do decide to date again,
我会非常同意的
I really am okay with it.
谢谢
Thank you.
以防万一啊 我们现在要谈谈那方面的事吗？
Just to be safe, should we have the talk?
你赶紧走吧
Get out of here.
如果男女之间很有感情
When a boy and a girl care about each other,
就会以特定的姿势搂在一起
there's a special hug.
出去！
Go!
补充一点 两人最好已经结婚了
And that boy and girl better be married!
我在想我们俩临终前的事
I was thinking about us dying.
爸比 继续说下流话吧
Talk dirty to me, Daddy.
我没开玩笑
I'm serious.
万一我们俩原地去世了咋办？
What if both of us suddenly drop dead?
我们卖♥♥掉了店 赚了这么多钱
We made all that money selling the store,
连遗嘱都还没立
we don't even have a will.
也许是时候立一份了
Probably time to make one.
你觉得怎么分比较好？
What are you thinking?
很简单
Oh, it's not complicated,
给两个孩子一人一半
just give it to the kids 50-50.
拜托 你想得太简单了
Oh, come on, be smart.
怎么说？
What?
你觉得康纳有能力处理这么一大笔钱吗？
You think Connor's capable of handling that kind of money?
他只会把钱花在雾角这种古董上
Same kid that bought an antique foghorn?
那我们都给阿曼达 然后让她照顾康纳
So we give it to Amanda and make her responsible for Connor.
那结果一定是曼迪狂买♥♥鞋
So Mandy buys a thousand pairs of shoes
然后康纳啥都没有
and Connor gets nothing?
我们一两年后再谈吧
Maybe we just revisit this in a year or two.
只能这样了
Yeah, that sounds right.
你肯定不想听这个
You're gonna hate this,
小乔治是三个孩子中最负责任的
but the most responsible of all of 'em is Georgie.
没错 我不想听
You're right, I hate it.
抱歉
Sorry.
你一定是玛丽了
You must be Mary.
你就是约瑟夫吧
You must be Joseph.
耶稣出生在马槽里
其生母为玛丽 养父为约瑟夫
所以就差一个马槽了
All we need's a manger, huh?
你看吧
Well, there you go.
你妈还说你没幽默感呢
And your mom said you had no sense of humor.
哈喽
Hello.
嗨 进吧
Oh, hi. Come on in.
我又带了些丝丝旧衣服来
Just brought by some more of CeeCee's old clothes.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我知道我之前说过...
I know I've said it before...
一个娃就够了
I'm good with babies right now.
我之前也这么说过 然后就怀上了双胞胎
Well, I said that, and then I had twins.
双胞胎哈
Twins.
花真漂亮