乔治和曼迪的头婚生活（2024）

老兄 我们已经说过了
Dude, we've been over this.
你得坚强点
You've got to be strong.
我感觉我快疯了
I feel like I'm going crazy.
真遗憾 -谢谢
Aw, I'm so sorry. -Thank you.
赶紧给我滚出去
Now get out.
但我很受伤
But I'm hurting.
我知道
I know.
赶紧滚
Get out.
让她睡吧 我们俩去看电影
Why don't we let her sleep and you and me watch a movie,
让你脑子放空一下
get your mind off things.
看点啥呢？
What are you thinking?
金·凯瑞的电影永远会让人开心的
It's hard to be sad watching Jim Carrey.
我不确定我现在有没有心情看喜剧
I don't know if I'm in the mood for a comedy.
那就看史蒂芬·金小说改编的电影？狂犬惊魂、闪灵、宠物坟场啥的
Stephen King? Cujo, Shining, Pet Sematary?
我听说肖申克的救赎也是根据史蒂芬·金的小说改编的
You know, I heard Shawshank Redemption is Stephen King.
不是吧 -天哪 你们俩给我出去
You don't say. -Oh, my God, get out!
没有容易的出路...
♪ There's no easy way out...♪
你确定不用先看洛奇前3部吗？
Are you sure I shouldn't see Rocky I, II and III first?
不用 第4部才是这个系列的精髓所在
Nah, IV is really when the series finds itself.
行 我也不想和你说话了！
Fine, I don't want to talk to you anymore, either!
你说得对 我不该打给她
You were right, shouldn't have called her.
你给她打电♥话♥了啊
Oh, you called?
我看到阿德里安飞去俄♥罗♥斯♥去支持洛奇这段
Adrian flew to Russia to support Rocky,
于是我又相信爱情了
and I believed in love again.
我都说了打电♥话♥会让情况更糟的
I told you it would make things worse.
我忍♥不住啊 -你有点骨气好吗
I couldn't help it. -Where's your backbone, man?
我已经尽力了
I'm doing my best.
你要是不听我的话 就别把我扯进来
If you're not gonna listen to me, leave me out of it.
你们俩吵啥呢？
What is going on out here?
他给那女孩打电♥话♥了 -你打给她了？
He called her. -You called her?
没错
I called her.
为啥呢？
Why would you do that?
我和他说过别这么做
I told him not to!
你们为了这破事究竟要吵醒我多少次？
How many times am I gonna get woken up over this?
他给那女孩打电♥话♥了
He called her.
你为啥要打给她？
Why would you do that?
别再数落他了
Don't be mean to him.
行了 丝丝
Okay, CeeCee.
是时候把玩具收起来了
It's time to play "put the toys away."
你能帮帮妈咪吗？
Can you help Mommy?
抱歉 你看着很忙 等你玩好再找我吧
Sorry, you're busy. Why don't you get back to me?
哈喽 -什么事？
Hello. -What's up?
你能帮我写份简历吗？
Can you help me make a résumé?
为啥？
Why?
我得重新振作起来
I need to get my life together.
行 你把这堆玩意收拾好 我去拿笔记本电脑
Okay. Pick up all this crap, and I'll go get the laptop.
好的 来吧丝丝
Sure. Come on, CeeCee.
帮帮康纳舅舅好吗
Help Uncle Connor.
你之前写过简历吗？
You ever made a résumé before?
看都没看到过
I've never seen a résumé before.
这是我的 我们可以把它作为模板
Okay, well, here's mine. We can use it as a template.
你1分钟能打75个单词？
You type 75 words a minute?
你到底要不要我帮你？
Do you want my help or not?
你经验好丰富啊
You have so much experience.
我就是一张白纸
I have none.
没关系 我们先从教育经历开始
That's okay. Let's just start with education.
你高中毕业了
You graduated high school.
勉强毕业的
Barely.
你读过大学
You went to college.
读了6周就辍学了
I crashed and burned in six weeks.
起码比小乔治要好
Well, that's way more than Georgie,
他高中没毕业都还当店主了呢
and he runs a business.
你是想让我更难受吗？
Are you trying to make me feel worse?
你有啥技能？
Okay, what about skills?
你基本上每样乐器都会弹
You play, like, every instrument.
但我沦落至此
Look how far it's gotten me.
我都搞不好和女孩的关系
I even suck at girls,
这还是音乐家的必备技能呢
and that's the one thing musicians are good at.
行吧 我们先写下电♥话♥号♥码
Okay, let's at least put down your phone number.
是准备让老妈来接他们打来的电♥话♥吗？
What, so my mommy can answer when they call?
行吧
All right.
不写了 大清早的来喝酒吧
New plan: day drinking.
这是自古以来底层人♥民♥的安慰剂
That is the time-honored refuge of the downtrodden.
嗯 搞音乐的也同样擅长这个
Yep, and another thing musicians are really good at.
我还记得我和我初恋男友分手的时候
I remember when me and my first boyfriend broke up.
是丹吗？
Was that Dan?
你还记得他？
You remember him?
他当时叫我"书呆子康纳"
He used to call me "Con-nerd."
他人蛮好的
Yeah, he was great.
你们干啥呢？
What's going on here?
借酒浇愁呢
I'm drinking my problems away.
现在就喝有点早吧？
Isn't it a little early?
那你手里拿的是啥？
What's in your hand?
干杯
Cheers.
你遇到过这种事么？
Have you ever dealt with anything like this?
分手吗？当然了
A breakup? Sure.
真的假的？你和老妈也分过手？
Really? You and Mom broke up?
我当初约过不止你老妈一个人
Well, I wasn't only with your mother.
我年轻时也曾放荡不羁过
I had a life, I sowed my oats.
呕 -恶心
Ew. -Ugh.
要不是我播的种 就没有你的存在
Hey, if it wasn't for my oats, you wouldn't be here.
所以那女的是谁？
So, uh, who was she?
帕梅拉·珍考斯基
Pamela Jenkowski.
她大我两岁 不管是年龄上还是身材上或是经验上
She was two years older than me in all the right places.
呕 -恶心
Ew! -Ugh.
我当时放学会陪她回家
Used to walk her home from school,
class ring: 在北美和加拿大
学生们为纪念高中或大学最后一学年或者毕业而戴的戒指
帮她拿书 把我的毕业戒指给她戴
carried her books, gave her my class ring to wear.
然后她爸因工作需要被调走了 他们就搬家了
Then her dad got transferred, and they moved away.
我们许诺过会给对方写信
Yeah, well, you know, we promised we'd write,
但是...
but, uh...
一开始是每周一封信 后来渐渐变成每月一封信
one letter a week turned into one letter a month.
直到最后
And, finally,
我收到一个盒子 里面是我的戒指
got a box in the mail with my ring in it.
还有一张纸条
And a note that, uh...
写着...
said she'd, uh...
她看上了别的男人
...met someone else.
但我已经翻篇了
But I'm over it!
钥匙给您
And here's your keys.
谢谢
Thanks.
你喜欢珍珠酱乐队？[美国摇滚乐队]
Oh, you like Pearl Jam?
是的
Yeah.
真酷 我礼貌询问一下
Cool. I don't mean to be rude,
你有男朋友吗？
but do you have a boyfriend?
你想约我出去吗？
You asking me out?
没有 我已经结婚了
No, no, I'm married.
但我小舅子还单着呢 他也喜欢音乐
But my brother-in-law's single and he loves music.
我几年前现场看过珍珠酱的演唱会
I saw Pearl Jam a couple years ago.
是登顿[美国得州北部城市]那场吗？-没错
In Denton? -Yeah.
我也在现场！
I was at that show!
太好听了！
So good!
没错 -你干啥呢？
Yeah. -What are you doing?
提供客户服务啊
It's called customer service.
你在撩她 -你不也是吗
You're hittin' on her. -You're hitting on her.
我是为了康纳
For Connor.
他人可好了 头发比这家伙多多了
Great guy, more hair than this one.
我得走了
I'm gonna go now.
我能要一下你的电♥话♥吗？
Can I at least get your number?
我能要吗？
Or can I?
恭喜你啊 把她给吓跑了
Congratulations, you scared her off.