乔治和曼迪的头婚生活（2024）

like you could lease one
就租一小段时间 看看值不值得
for a little while, see if it's worth it
值得的话再花大价钱买♥♥
before you write a big check.
你觉得呢
What you think?
我勉强同意吧
I can live with that.
你们应该去和你们的会计谈谈
Yeah, you should talk to your accountant.
租点东西也许可以减税啥的
There might be tax advantages to leasing.
这还真没想过
Hadn't thought of that.
我们有会计吗
Do we have an accountant?
我没想过的就是这个
That's the part I hadn't thought of.
额 那个...
All right, well...
我给你们买♥♥了披萨 帮你们搞定了所有矛盾
I bought you pizza, solved all your problems.
我值得去睡个午觉
I think I've earned a nap.
谢了 吉姆 -谢谢 麦卡利斯特先生
Thanks, Jim. - Thank you, Mr. McAllister.
没问题 要知道
No problem. You know,
如果我现在是你 就会希望有我在
I wish I had a me when I was you.
我当老板的时候确实独当一面
Actually, I did have a me.
毕竟是我嘛
But it was me.
我想我们得去雇个会计
Well, I guess we need to get an accountant.
工资怎么出呢？
With what money?
你知道你的毛病出在哪吗？你还是穷♥人♥思维
You know what your problem is? You think like a poor guy.
我确实是穷♥人♥啊
I am a poor guy,
你也是哦
and so are you.
贫穷只是一种心态罢了
Poverty is just a state of mind.
不 贫穷就只能吃黄油三明治
No, it's eating butter sandwiches
并且只能开我奶奶的车
and sharing a Dodge Dart with your grandma.
那这样吧 我们去找个会计
How about this? We hire an accountant,
他帮我们找出所有的税收政策的漏洞
he finds us all kinds of tax loopholes,
我们用省下的钱付他工资
and we pay him with the money we saved.
你自己相信
Do you actually believe
从你嘴巴里说出来的话吗
the words coming out of your mouth?
我相不相信不重要
It don't matter if I believe.
问题是 你相信吗
The question is: do you?
信个鬼
No.
那你继续听我说
Then I ain't done talking.
小乔治又加班了？
Georgie working late again?
嗯
Yeah.
我听取了你的意见
You know, I took your advice
去了一趟店里
and stopped by the store.
那你有帮到他和鲁本吗
Oh, were you able to help him and Ruben work things out?
应该吧 要知道很多人
I think so. You know, a lot of people,
尤其刚开始起步的时候
especially when they're starting out,
脑子都是一根筋
think that there's only one way to do things,
我告诉他们其实有折中办法的
but I showed them that there is a middle way.
明眼人都看得出来 -他们就看不出来
Seems obvious. - Well, it wasn't to them.
亲爱的 你真棒
Good for you, honey.
没事啦
Ah, it's no big deal.
我现在正处在一个
You know, I'm at that point in my life
回馈社会的美好人生阶段
where it feels good to give back,
让世界变得更加美好
leave the world better than I found it.
他需要这种优越感是吧？我们就让他随便吹牛逼了？
He needs this, right? We're gonna let him have it?
你真应该看看他俩 吵到天昏地暗
You should've seen 'em. The two of 'em were at each other's throats.
真糟糕啊
Sounds terrible.
好在我在场调解
Yeah, it was a good thing I was there.
你就像个智慧的长老
You're like the wise elder.
老倒不一定 智慧是肯定的
I wouldn't say elder, but the wise thing tracks.
看到你开心真好
It's nice to see you happy.
他们俩需要我 这让我觉得...
Well, them needing me made me feel like...
你有存在价值了？
You have value?
没错
Yeah.
康纳需要我的时候 我也有这种感觉
That's how I feel about Connor needing me.
这能一样吗
It's not the same thing.
怎么不一样了
Why not?
我的感觉是正常人都会有的
Well, mine is just normal human nature,
你的就有点恶心了
yours is... a little creepy.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Night.
想亲热一会吗？
You want to fool around?
真的吗？我不是有点恶心吗？
Really? I'm not too creepy?
爹地就喜欢恶心的
Daddy like creepy.
老天爷诶
Oh, my God.
所以... -行吧
So... - Fine.
嘿
Hey.
对不起 吵醒你了
Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.
几点了
What time is it?
11点多了
Oh, a little after 11:00.
你一定累坏了吧
You must be exhausted.
我气坏了 我先拖了3辆车
I'm pissed. I had three tows,
然后回到办公室
then had to go back to the office
继续完成文书工作 因为我的搭档害怕面对未来
to catch up on paperwork 'cause my partner is afraid of the future.
我还以为我爸帮你们俩解决了
I thought my dad helped smooth things out.
解决个屁 他给我们买♥♥了个披萨 结果自己吃完了
Oh, he just bought us pizza and then ate it all.
你多给鲁本一些时间
Well, just give Ruben some time,
他肯定... 你们肯定能想出办法的
I'm sure he'll-- you guys'll figure it out.
不只是电脑
It ain't just computers.
我们每件事上都有分歧
We disagree on everything.
你们要不猜硬币吧
Well, why don't you just flip a coin?
你开玩笑吧
You're kidding, right?
当年莱特兄弟决定谁先进行首航
That's what the Wright brothers did to decide
就是猜硬币的
who was gonna fly the plane first.
这也太傻了
That's dumb.
每场橄榄球比赛前 球员也要先猜硬币
They flip a coin at every football game,
包括超级碗呢
including the Super Bowl.
你怎么不先举这个例子呢
Well, why didn't you say that first?
我成功发动了野马
I got the Mustang running.
恭喜啊
Congratulations.
想和我一起兜一圈吗
You want to go for a ride?
我要带丝丝呢
I got CeeCee.
带上她一起啊
Well, bring her.
我才不要让我孩子坐进那玩意里
I'm not putting my baby in that thing.
这可是经典款
It's a classic.
危险的要命好吧
It's a death trap.
虽然危险 但是经典
It's a classic death trap.
行吧 你妈人呢
Fine, where's your mom?
她去商店买♥♥东西了 你带康纳吧
She's at the store. Take Connor.
想都别想
Not it!
猜硬币？你认真的么
Flip a coin? Are you serious?
这可是曼迪建议的 她读过大学呢
Hey, Mandy suggested it, and she went to college.
我也读过啊
I go to college.
你上的是夜校
You go to night school,
她可是全日制本科
she went during the day.
你看有谁会用猜硬币来做商业决策的
Nobody makes business decisions flipping a coin.
那行 要不剪刀石头布？
All right. Rock, paper, scissors.
你疯了吧
This is ridiculous.
我们啥都试过了
We've tried everything else.
总归要想到个办法决定听谁的
We need a tie-breaker.
行吧 但是不能玩小孩子的游戏
Fine, but it shouldn't be a kid's game.
必须带点策略和技巧的
It should involve strategy and skill.
井字棋？
Tic-tac-toe?
那你想啊
Well, you come up with something.
投篮比赛如何？
How about some hoops?
不行 你是篮球老手了
No way, you play basketball all the time.
行吧
Okay.
那比赛跑步
A footrace.
终点呢？
Where you thinking?
邮局折返跑
Post office and back.
我穿着靴子呢
I'm wearing boots.
我让你先跑5秒
I'll give you five seconds.
一二三四五
One, two, three, four, five.
别再扰乱我的心神
♪ Get out of my dreams ♪
快上我的车